History Recap / OneThousandWaysToDie

* [[Recap/OneThousandWaysToDieSeason4 Season 4]]

!!

* [[Recap/OneThousandWaysToDieSeason3 Season 3]]

* [[OneThousandWaysToDieSeason1 Season 1]]
* [[OneThousandWaysToDieSeason2 Season 2]]
* [[OneThousandWaysToDieSeason3 Season 3]]

* [[OneThousandWaysToDieSeason2 Season 2]]

[[OneThousandWaysToDieSeason1 Season 1]]//
[[OneThousandWaysToDieSeason2 Season 2]]

[[OneThousandWaysToDieSeason1 Season 1]]

[[index]]
[[foldercontrol]]
!!!Season 1
[[folder:Episode 1: Life Will Kill You]]
* #208: Semi-Cide: A man working on his car is accidentally [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe bisected]] when an 18-wheeler runs over his torso. Incompetent EMS workers send each half of his body to different hospitals. The victim dies of pain and blood loss.
* #402: Constriction Accident: An incompetent (and hungover) construction worker accidentally dumps gravel on another worker who's working in a pit. The victim survives the dumping and is not completely buried, but the weight from the gravel on his chest keep his lungs from expanding, eventually asphyxiating him.
* #92: Fang Banged: Two drunk brothers are out hunting when one of them starts opening fire on the other. His "victim" dies [[BaitAndSwitch not from getting shot, but by falling on top of a rattlesnake and getting bit in the heart.]]
* #832: Lesbocution: A woman, drunk, coming off a string of bad break-ups, and [[BiTheWay entertaining the notion of being a lesbian]], steps into a puddle with a live wire in it while barefoot and is electrocuted.
* #125: Love Bugged: A French man with an interest in lizards and bugs [[TooDumbToLive decides to try and build an immunity to black widow spider venom by letting one bite him.]] The neurotoxic venom causes a fatal heart attack. While in his death throes, he knocks over his various animal cages, and the animals feed on his corpse for the next couple weeks until the police come.
* #640: Tumble Die: A repairman finds himself trapped in an industrial clothes drier. He dies from a combination of hyperthermia and injuries from being tumbled in the drier.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 2: Hard Lives, Easy Deaths]]
* #293: Freeze Died: A butcher in the employ of the mafia is locked in a meat freezer as punishment for stealing from the mob and impregnating his boss's teenaged daughter. He freezes to death.
* #713: Dive Bombed: A group of friends make the mistake of flying a plane shortly after scuba diving. Decompression sickness renders them paralyzed and causes them to crash the plane.
* #91: De-Coffinated: Two brothers in Haiti feud over land. One hires a witch doctor to attack the other with tetrodotoxin (the same poison found in pufferfish). The victim falls into a death-like state of paralysis and is BuriedAlive, eventually dying of suffocation.
* #606: Wet Dream: A man with a deep love of fish constructs a fish suit out of waterbed material. Excited, he pulls it on as he runs to a lake to test it out. Unfortunately, the excess heat his body builds up since he couldn't sweat with the suit on results in a fatal heat stroke.
* #112: Fur Burger: This death discusses an ancient form of execution: wrapping the convicted in skins and furs from fresh kills, tying him to a tree, and letting whatever carnivores come around (in this case, vultures) make a meal of him.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 3: Unforced Errors]]
* #64: Habeas Corpse: A lawyer, notorious for hitting on new female interns, tries to impress one by running into a tempered glass window and bouncing off of it. While the trick worked in the past, his watch hit the window on this occasion, causing the window to shatter and the lawyer to fall to his death.
* #288: Chippin' Dale: When a branch gets stuck in a wood chipper, one of the people working it tries to push it in with his foot. His leg gets caught in the machine, and he is pulled in and pulped, his remains spraying all over his co-worker.
* #226: Gasketballed: An amorous college couple sneak into a giant inflated basketball left over from a pep rally for some fun. However, the lack of oxygen from the ball being filled with helium causes them to be confused and unable to find their way back out, eventually killing them via asphyxiation.
* #199: Me So Hornet: A man is offered sex by his wife in exchange for getting rid of a hornet nest. He tries to take it down with a paintball gun and succeeds, but the agitated hornets attack him. He dies of a previously unknown allergic reaction to hornet venom.
* #952: Dumbrella: To impress a bored audience, a sword swallower tries to swallow an umbrella. His throat catches on the release and opens the umbrella in his windpipe, choking him to death.
* #674: Killdo: A woman fashions a dildo out of a shaved carrot. While using it, she accidentally cuts herself on a rough edge, and the motion from the carrot's use forces air into the wound, causing a fatal embolism.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 4: Death Over Easy]]
* #316: Butt F***ed: Having survived a house fire caused by a cigarette when he fell asleep smoking, a man, covered from head to toe in ointment-soaked bandages and on oxygen, bribes a hospital worked to let him out back to indulge in his nicotine habit. The hot ashes from his smoke light his bandages on fire, the flames spreading to his oxygen tank and [[StuffBlowingUp blowing it up.]]
* #818: Frightmare: A woman dies in her sleep as a result of SUNDS (Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome), brought about from a heart attack as a result of a visceral nightmare [[AndIMustScream she couldn't wake up from.]]
* #97: Oprah Winfried: A death inmate having his sentence reduced to life whiles away his time in prison watching TheOprahWinfreyShow. When his TV acts up, he grabs a wire trying to fix it, causing him to die of electrocution when a current travels from his hand through his body to the metallic toilet seat he was sitting on.
* #412: Em-Bear-Assed: A man [[MushroomSamba high on 'shrooms]] stumbles upon a [[FurryFandom furry]] orgy in the desert and tries to get a piece of the action, but to no avail. He eventually tries to schmooze up to a bear. Too bad it was [[BearsAreBadNews a real bear]] that really ate him alive.
* #625: Midnight Choker: A biker impresses his friends by swallowing a billiard ball, moving it up and down his throat, and spitting it back up. He tries this trick with a cue ball, but ends up choking to death on it, not accounting for the fact that the cue ball is ever-so-slightly larger, enough that he couldn't push it back up his throat.
* #269: Window Pained: A peeping tom peeps in on a girl coming out of the shower, poking his head through an open window. The girl spots him. When he tries to retreat, he accidentally knocks the window down, causing it to fall on, and break, his neck.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 5: Dead and Deader]]
* #504: Wel-Dead: A metallurgist and adrenaline junkie hooks a welder to his earrings and has his girlfriend turn up the juice. When she's unwilling to turn it up too high, he cranks it up to max and electrocutes himself.
* #203: Trailer Trashed: A newlywed man buys a new RV and tries to unclog its toilet with bleach. The bleach mixes with the ammonia from the sewage, creating deadly chlorine gas that suffocates him.
* #171: Night Capped: Some New Years revelers fire a gun into the air to celebrate. There's a reason firing a gun into the air is illegal: the bullet flies up, then falls back down and hits another reveler through the heart several miles away.
* #385: Sh*t Faced: An alcoholic who is unable to drink due to throat surgery convinces his wife to pour sherry down a funnel, through a tube, and [[{{Squick}} up his ass.]] Since the alcohol bypassed the stomach lining, he ends up dying of alcohol poisoning when the alcohol is absorbed directly into his bloodstream.
* #197: Dead Eye: A PE teacher suffering from major TestosteronePoisoning throws a javelin to show his inept students how its done. When he runs to retrieve it, he inadvertently spears himself on the javelin through [[EyeScream his eye]].
* #319: Domin-A-Dead: A virgin hires a dominatrix who makes him wear a latex suit and ball gag. The man discovers he has a latex allergy, but can't say anything due to the ball gag. He eventually succumbs to anaphalaxes.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 6: Death Gets Busy]]
* #610: Deep Fried: An angry metal shop owner tries to kill his boss after getting fired by shoving him into a vat of hydrochloric acid, but ends up falling in himself. The acid gets into his lungs and stomach and eats away his internal organs.
* #892: Gorgeous Gorge: A supermodel, suffering from bulimia, orders everything on the menu from hotel room services and gorges on it. When she goes to purge in the bathroom, her stomach tears open due to the sheer amount of food she ate.
* #347: Re-Tired: A porn addict indulges in his hobby while inflating a tire, but forgets to pay attention to his work. The tire overinflates and explodes, shrapnel tearing through his body.
* #652: A woman hires a quack doctor to pay a home visit and give her botox. The doctor ends up injecting her with pure botulinium, eventually killing her when it [[AndIMustScream paralyzes her while she's sitting in a hot tub]].
* #498: Choke-A-Lot: Two [[TooDumbToLive idiots]] have a play fight with cocoa powder. The confined room causes the powder to coat the inside of their lungs and choke them to death.
* #629: Sex-Ray: A doctor and his nurse have sex in the control room of an X-Ray room. Their bumping and grinding causes the exposure button to be pressed repeatedly, causing a patient who came in for a head X-Ray to have his brain fried by radiation.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 7: The Lighter Side of Death]]
* #314: Dung For: A farmhand is caught hooking up with the farmer's daughter and is chased into a manure truck. The farmer gets his justice by dumping manure on the farm hand, crushing and choking him.
* #622: Brain Worms: A man trying to impress his date creates escargot salad using live snails. The snails have parasites in their body that, upon ingestion, travel through the blood stream to their brains, where they feed.
* #401: Abracadaver: A magician attempts to do the infamous "bullet catch" trick, where he catches a bullet between his teeth. A piece of his wand fell into the barrel of the gun (which was loaded with blanks). That piece ends up hitting him in the jugular.
* #429: Weed Whacked: Two stoners run out of pot and try to find some kind of plant to get high on. One of the plants they try to smoke is poison sumac, the most venomous plant in America.
* #221: Rebel Without A Pulse: A Confederate deserter is ordered to die by firing squad. He dies, but not because he was shot: the firing squad [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy missed every shot]]. The deserter was literally scared to death.
* #510: Kill-Basa: A man goes to a nightclub and ties a kielbasa to his thigh with surgical tubing to give the illusion of having a large package. The tubing, however, causes a blood clot to form in his leg which kills him.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 8: The Good, The Bad, and The Dead]]
* #770: Face Offed: A showgirl cuts herself while shaving her legs. The rusty razor had a bacteria known as necrotizing fasciitis: a flesh-eating disease, which erodes the skin on her face when released from a pimple and eventually kills her from sepsis.
* #47: Re-Coiled: A survivalist hits the can. While relieving himself, a snake coils around his rifle. When he grabs his gun, the startled snake accidentally pulls the trigger and shoots him in the heart.
* #301: Sucked Offed: A female prison escapee hides from the police in a freezing cold lake filled with leeches. The combination of hypothermia and blood loss from the leeches makes her so weak, that by the time she leaves the lake, she collapses and dies of exposure.
* #312: Re-Formed: A thief tries to hide in a dumpster, but that very dumpster it emptied into a garbage truck. He is trapped under a pile of garbage and eventually crushed to death when the trash is compacted.
* #963: Fin-Ished: A woman goes out fishing and manages to catch a fish, which flies out of the water, becomes lodged in her windpipe, and chokes her to death.
* #558: Butt Plugged: A man released on parole hires a hooker. He gets pulled over and tries to hide a can of pepper spray (a violation of his parole) up his bum. When the police officer pushes him against his car, the can goes off, spraying all over and eating away his colon.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 9: Death Be Not Stupid]]
* #502: Gas-Hole: A man on the run with no booze tries to get drunk on gasoline (which contains ethanol, which is a form of alcohol) from his bike's gas tank. He ends up throwing up into his campfire and catching fire on his flammable vomit.
* #1: Ichiboned: A shy Japanese couple finally work up the courage to consummate their marriage. Their hearts, however, were ill prepared for the shock of orgasm, so when they both climax, they suffer simultaneous heart attacks and die.
* #518: Jake n' Bake: A narcoleptic worker conks out in a curing oven and is baked to death.
* #734: Die It: A woman desperate to lose weight eats tapeworms. Even though it does help her lose weight, the parasites eventually spread to her other organs and devours them.
* #499: Pained Gun: Two pranksters perform drive-by shootings with a paintball gun in a bid to be internet celebrities. The CO2 tank on the paintball gun, however, comes lose and hits the shooter square in the neck, crushing his larynx.
* #283: Deadliest Catch: A frustrated fisherman tries to catch fish by placing a live wire in a lake and electrocuting the fish. When he goes to scoop up the fish, he steps on the metallic floor of the boat and is shocked to death.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 10: Cure for the Common Death, Part 1]]
* #77: Red, White, and Blew: Some rednecks celebrate Independence Day with dangerous homemade fireworks. One firework seems to fail, and when a redneck takes a closer look, it goes off and cracks him in the skull.
* #756: Bank Ruptured: A man suffers from pica, an eating disorder that makes him eat non-food items: in his case, small metallic objects like coins. Eventually, he eats so much metal that some of it cut a blood vessel in his stomach and bleeds him out.
* #66: Guitar Zeroes: Two metalheads in China have too much fun doing air guitar: one of them accidentally falls out a window while jumping on a bed. [[TooDumbToLive His friend jumps after him.]]
* #196: Radium Girls: In the 1920s, women working in watch factories used paint with radium, an element that made them glow green. Some of the girls even use radium as makeup. Radium is a radioactive substance, and many of the factory workers succumb to bone cancer. Those that survived went on to win a lawsuit against the company, which helped establish better safety standards.
* #638: Oz Holed: Two OzzyOsbourne fanboys try to mimic their idol by snorting fire ants (based on an urban legend that Ozzy and Nikki Sixx did it in the past). The angry fire ants sting and bite at their sinuses and windpipes, causing fatal swelling and asphyxiation.
* #710: Tanked Girl: A scuba diver recuperates from decompression sickness in a decompression chamber. A maintenance worker accidentally releases the air pressure in the chamber and subjects her to ExplosiveDecompression.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 11: Death: A User's Manual]]
* #117: Gut Busted: A fat man suffers from belching fits as a result of ulcers in his stomach. He convinces his girlfriend to punch him in the gut to expel the gas, but all this accomplishes is rupturing his stomach.
* #417: [=DestRoid=]: A bodybuilder with major TestosteronePoisoning also suffers from a heart attack due to abuse of steroids and growth hormones.
* #78: Text Dead: A couple text on another. The boyfriend is texting his girlfriend and driving a truck while the girlfriend is texting as she walked into the parking lot and into the path of the boyfriend's truck, dying in the ensuing collision.
* #210: Pissed Off: An Irish golfer playing in the US goes to retrieve his ball from a sand trap when a rat runs up his pant leg, scratches him, and urinates on the wound. The rat ends up giving him leptospirosis, a bacterial disease that kills him within a week.
* #222: Car Jacked: A car thief tries to sneak into a garage via the roof to boost a muscle car. His leg ends up tangled in rope, leaving him hanging upside down for 48 hours, during which time the rising blood pressure in his head from hanging upside down causes multiple strokes and hemorrhages.
* #201: Blown Job: An angry, child-hating, hard-drinking party clown (who, oddly enough, is scared of clowns, himself) accidentally activates a CO2 canister in his car when he makes a sudden stop, causing it to inflate a balloon in the car. He's too inebriated to notice the inflating balloon until it is too late, as it pins him inside his own car and suffocates him.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 12: I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up)]]
* #447: Water Logged: A college student jumps from a cliff and into a lake. The angle at which he hits the water causes it to [[AssShove rush into and rupture his colon]]. The pain and internal bleeding causing him to lose consciousness and drown.
* #307: Funny Boned: A man literally [[DieLaughing dies laughing]] as a result of laughing for 36 hours non-stop, the stress from constant laughter causing his heart to give out.
* #72: Bowed Out: A nervous {{Salaryman}}, who spends the better part of a day practicing his greeting and bowing, accidentally headbutts his future boss when he finally meets and bows to him. The impact ruptures an aneurism that had grown in his brain, causing a fatal stroke.
* #277: You're So Vein: A death row inmate is given a lethal injection, but the drugs that were meant to kill him seem to have no effect. He goes on a small rampage when the restrains are undone, but dies shortly thereafter: turns out, the restraints were acting as a tourniquet, so the poison didn't take effect until the blood flow was restored.
* #85: Doggie Style: A shoplifter swipes a hot dog from a convenience store, tries to eat it while fleeing, and chokes to death on it.
* #403: Heart On: A man with some serious mental issues [[{{Squick}} buys a cow heart to use as a sex toy]]. He tries hooking it up to a car battery, but when that doesn't do the trick, he hooks it up to a wall outlet and shocks himself to death.
[[/folder]]

!!!Season 2
[[folder:Episode 13: Death on Arrival]]
* #948: Titty Titty Bang Band: A woman dreams of being a famous actor, [[ACupAngst but feels she's not well-enough endowed]]. She has cosmetic surgery, then takes a plane to Vegas. Unfortunately, the surgeon was a quack who gave her the equivalent of water balloons instead of silicone implants. The faulty implants inflate due to the changes in atmospheric pressure as the plane flies up, eventually exploding.
* #714: Forked Up: Two stoners decided to goof around by having one drive a forklift while another rides on a platform while tied to the forklift with a rope. The rope ends up getting caught on another vehicle, constricting one of the stoners until [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe it cut him in two.]]
* #590: [=UninTented=]: A nymphomaniac dumps her boyfriend during a desert hike because she couldn't keep up with her urges. She decides to [[ADateWithRosiePalms entertain herself]] in her tent, which ends up carried away by a strong gust of wind and comes crashing down on the roof of a shack, killing her on impact.
* #123: Tali-Bombed: Two aspiring terrorists build a bomb to attack a police station with. They forget to take into account Daylight Savings Time, realizing their error too late when the bomb goes off an hour beforehand, blowing the two would-be terrorists to smithereens.
* #515: Vike-O-Done: A Viking defeats and beheads a rival. While swinging the severed head in triumph, its teeth hit his leg, causing a deadly infection.
* #444: Deadliest Munch: After botching dinner, a lesbian tries to lighten the mood by showing her lover she also lingerie made of string candy. Her lover partakes of the edible underwear until a piece snaps off and chokes her to death.
* #913: Dead Meat-Eorite: A devout Christian tries to convert people at a pool party, but to no avail. His antics are brought to a spectacular end when a stray asteroid falls towards the earth and blasts him through the torso.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 14: Death Bites!]]
* #451: Ass-Phyxiated: A chubby-chasing salesman seduces a particularly large-bodied woman. She passes out from orgasm on top of him and [[MarshmallowHell inadvertently asphyxiates him with her ample bust.]]
* #103: Work of Fart: A fraternity student hires a trainer to help him produce [[FartsOnFire flaming farts]] for a contest. The trainer uses a blowtorch to ignite a fart, only to get burnt by the fireball the student produces.
* #76: Crash-Endo: A talented violinist falls down a flight of stairs. More concerned for the upkeep of her hands than her own safety, she makes no attempt to stop her fall and ultimately fractures her skull.
* #505: Vermin-Ated: A robber on the run gets himself stuck in a drainage pipe. That night, rats come to feast on him, [[EyeScream starting with his eyes]] and working their way to his brain.
* #105: French Fried: A FrenchMaid wraps herself up in Christmas lights to do a sexy dance for her employer, an old man on a respirator. The wiring in the house is old, though, and a short circuit causes the respirator to shut off, asphyxiating the old codger.
* #803: Bomb-Bino: A man indebted to the mob and unable to pay them back is forced to [[DigYourOwnGrave dig his own grave]] while a couple mobsters watch him over a relaxing picnic lunch. The man finds an old grenade while digging and, not knowing what it is, throws it at the mobsters. The grenade goes off and kills the mobsters, while the grave-digger is spared thanks to the dirt mound from his digging making a barrier.
* #186: Die-Agra: A wife in a dying marriage tries to kickstart her husband's sex drive by putting some ground-up Viagra in his beer. The man takes some more Viagra before paying a visit to his mistress, who also puts ground-up Viagra in his drink. This ultimately results in a heart attack due to 900mg of Viagra causing too much blood to rush from his brain to his pecker.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 15: Up With Death]]
* #485: M-R-Ouch!: An nurse finds herself being held up by a drug fiend looking for pills. When the pills she gives him doesn't do the trick, he tries to rape her. Thankfully, the nurse was a former Army medic, and she tricks him into coming to the MRI room. When she activates the MRI, not only does it pull the gun away from the fiend's hand, but it also pulls him in because of a metal plate in his head, resulting in fatal brain damage from the ensuing head-on collision.
* #229: Succu-Offed: Two stoners make off with a stolen cactus to add to their collection. Soon, the two end up having a very bad drug trip, causing them to flee in fear. One of them falls on an Agave plant and gets [[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice stabbed through the heart.]] The other runs into the stolen cactus and gets stabbed through the [[EyeScream eyes]] and brain.
* #432: Coming & Going: A female biker ends up having an orgasm while riding on a bike, due to the motor's vibrations. She ends up falling off the bike as it's moving and dies of broken bones rupturing her organs.
* #150: Coffin Nailed: A [[ILoveTheDead necrophilic]] morgue worker [[{{Squick}} has sex with a corpse]]. He forgets to secure the coffin in the hearse after the deed is done, and when he makes a sudden stop, the coffin hits him in the back of the head and severs his brainstem.
* #89: Greased Is the Word: A wanna-be jewelry store robber, unable to see well thanks to the pantyhose he used as a mask, accidentally holds up a gun store. The patrons and clerks, all with legal firearms and well within their rights to defend themselves, riddle him with bullets, one shot nailing him square in the heart.
* #110: Blades of Gory: A washed-up hockey player in a city league gets into a brawl with an opponent. When his victim is knocked over, the blade from his ice skates slices through his carotid artery, causing the bully to bleed out.
* #611: Boris Bititoff: When a Russian soldier is denied the chance to get it on with a female comrade, he tries to get his rocks off with a raccoon. The creature bites his penis off, and he bleeds out.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 16: Putting a Happy Face on Death]]
* #712: Rub-a-Dubbed Out: A real scumbag jacks groceries from a blind pregnant woman and tries to hide from the cops in a car wash. When a worker activates the maintenance cycle, he gets disoriented and falls back on a water nozzle, getting impaled through the skull and filling it up with so much water that it [[YourHeadAsplodes pops like an ugly zit.]]
* #616: Cock-a-Doodle-Die: A cockfighter cheats by putting razor blades on his cock. When it becomes known that he's a no-good cheater, the angry mob causes him to fall on the ground, and he ends up having his jugular sliced by his own cock's blades.
* #534: Chucked Up: A woman playing out a bondage fantasy for her husband at work via webcam is subjected to a burglary. Unable to do anything since she put duct tape over her own mouth and cuffed herself to the chair, the burglar tauntingly thanks her for her laptop, subjecting her to his wretchedly bad breath. So bad was the odor that she vomits, but because her mouth was taped up, she ends up choking on her own barf.
* #332: Little Person, Big Death: After a wrestling match, two midget wrestlers wreck a motel room to impress a couple of groupies. They run headlong at a wall, with one of them busting his head through. The other, unfortunately, hits a stud, causing his brain to bleed and swell, killing him.
* #254: Bobby-Zapped: A man suffering from crippling paranoia has his house rigged with multiple booby traps. He takes sleeping pills to help him sleep, which have the unfortunate side-effect of inducing sleep-walking. One night, he sleep walks his way to his fridge for a chicken sandwich, evading all of his traps along the way. When he sits to enjoy his midnight snack, he accidentally activates one last trap: [[BoomHeadshot a laser-activated shotgun.]]
* #234: [=ReToaded=]: Two stoners head to Peru for the ultimate high, hearing of a toad that secretes a powerful psychoactive. The mistake a poison-dart frog for this toad, and the secretions they lick off the frog are actually a powerful neurotoxin that paralyzes them and stops their hearts.
* #144: Vegged Out: After getting a date with a bicyclist, a gardener decided to practice giving head with a zucchini. She steps on a hoe, which jams the vegetable into her windpipe and chokes her to death.
[[/folder]

[[folder:Episode 17: Bringing In the Dead]]
* #528: D.U.Die: Two drunks go for a joyride. One of them gets carsick and leans out a window to yack. [[OffWithHisHead He gets his head taken off by a mailbox.]]
* #146: Belly'd Up: An aspiring belly dancer gets her scarf caught on a ceiling fan and accidentally hangs herself.
* #217: Suck Her Punched: A boxer, [[BerserkButton who doesn't take lightly to being called a lady]], also happens to be a WholesomeCrossdresser. When a would-be rapist tries to attack him, the boxer knocks him out with a strong right cross, hitting him in the temple, causing fatal bleeding in his brain.
* #177: Jack 'n' Croaked: Real-world whiskey distiller Jack Daniels comes up with the perfect recipe for hooch, writes down the recipe, and keeps it in a safe. He was drunk all the while, though, and couldn't remember the safe's combination. He kicks the safe in annoyance, hurting his big toe, which becomes infected and causes death by blood poisoning soon after.
* #657: Dead Heat: A woman has her boyfriend sample some exotic spices. The boyfriend suffers from asthma, which she doesn't know about. He keeps breaking out an inhaler to keep his asthma under control, but when it runs out, he dies from a massive asthma attack.
* #96: Poi Vey: An Orthodox Jew tries to win the affections of a hula dancer, but to no avail. He drowns his sorrows in booze, takes part in a fire dance, and ends up catching fire and burning to death.
* #412: [=ReTired=]: An elderly man sits in his classic Chevy and remembers the good ol' days before quietly passing away. At the same time, a hoodlum holds up a gas station. The old man's car's breaks gives out, causing it to roll down a hill and run down the hoodlum as he makes an escape.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 18: Gratefully Dead]]
* #599: Mercury in Uranus: A man ends up in the hospital yet again for [[AssShove having shoved a shampoo bottle up his tocus.]] After having the bottle removed, the doctor leaves for a while, leaving the man to indulge in his [[{{Squick}} squicky]] hobby by sticking ten rectal thermometers up his rear. When the doctor comes back, he lays back on the bed to hide his actions, only to have the thermometers break in his ass, lacerating his rectum and exposing his blood to mercury. He dies of mercury poisoning while bleeding out.
* #297: A Turn For the Purse: A mugger steals a former strippers purse at screwdriver-point. He makes a run for it on a bike when a good samaritan gives chase, but ends up falling off his bike and [[HoistOnHisOwnPetard on his screwdriver, piercing him through the heart.]]
* #102: Dead Weight: A drunk weightlifter lifts up a 350-pound I-beam. He loses his grip on it, though, and it falls on his windpipe.
* #310: Cult Evaded: A gothic girl is subject to an exorcism by her hardcore Christian foster parents and neighbors. They burn coal and incense in an enclosed tent, which causes the foster parents and neighbors to die on the smoke and fumes. The goth, having been tied to the ground, is spared, since the air close to the ground was still fresh.
* #463: Smoke-A-Doped: When denied sex by her boyfriend because of her smoking habit, a woman covers herself in a month's worth of nicotine patches to stop cold turkey. She dies of a nicotine overdoes giving her a heart attack.
* #655: Two Stoopid: Two deaths for the price of one! At the same time, on opposite ends of the country, one idiot tries to bungie jump off a cherry picker and hits the ground due to the bungie cord being too long, while another idiot tries bed surfing on the back of a truck, falls off, and breaks his ribs, dying of internal bleeding.
* #204: Cream-Ated: A man who was abused as a child by an uncle wearing a cow costume develops a fetish for [[{{Squick}} drinking milk straight from a cow's udder.]] On this occasion, the cow kicks his head in and causes fatal brain damage.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 19: Come On, Get Deathy]]
* #113: Tanks for Nothing: While a female Buddhist meditates in a specially constructed sensory deprivation tank, she is unknowingly joined by a Florida water moccasin, one of the deadliest snakes in the US. The snake bites her and kills her with its powerful venom.
* #332: The Choke's On You: A midget tries to do musical stand-up comedy so he can make money for his bitchy girlfriend. She gets fed up with his unfunny jokes and kicks him in the face, causing him to swallow his harmonica and choke on it. She doesn't realize he's not being funny until he finally buys the farm.
* #111: Back Broke Mountain: An unhappy husband plots to kill his wife and collect on her life insurance by shoving her off a cliff. She ends up shoving him off the cliff in self-defense instead. [[KarmicDeath Oops.]]
* #120: Grateful Bed: To avoid getting thrown out of his home when the landlord comes to evict him, an aspiring musician hides in the wall behind his Murphy bed. He ends up trapped, however, and no one can hear his cries for help since his room is soundproofed with egg cartons. He eventually suffocates to death.
* #479: Fore Head: A would-be burglar hides behind a virtual golf game's projection screen, waiting for closing time before raiding the arcade. When he gets bored, he cuts a whole in the screen to peer out, just in time for a player to send a golf ball at him, hitting him in, and breaking, his skull.
* #333: Booty Trapped: A gold-digger plays with money she swiped from her stingy sugar daddy in a secret vault. An earthquake hits, causing her to be buried by her bags of money and asphyxiating.
* #412: S**t Canned: A jealous man attends the wedding of a woman he wanted to marry and plans to prank her with a laxative-spiked martini. The waiter he hired to help in the prank, however, gives him the spiked drink. When the drug takes effect, he runs for a trash can to relieve himself, but gets stuck. His attempts to get out causes him to tip over and roll down a hill, causing death by brain injury, internal bleeding, breaking every bone in his body, and then some.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 21: Waking Up Dead]]
* #662: Phone Boned: To cure her texting addiction, a woman goes for acupuncture therapy. It doesn't take, though: while the therapist goes to get more needles, she tries to reach for her phone, only to fall off the table and stab herself through the heart with a needle.
* #521: Toilet Rolled: An alcoholic construction worker uses a port-o-potty, but forgets to put the break on his steamroller, which steamrolls over him while on the can.
* #559: Mile Die Club: An abusive man follows his wife onto a plane to stop her from leaving, sneaking into the cargo bay of the plane she boarded (security was pretty lax before 9/11). The drop in atmospheric pressure when the plane flies causes death by a double-whammy of asphyxia and hypothermia (he froze to death while suffocating to death).
* #140: Bitch Zapped: An angry wife gets annoyed by how poorly her HenPeckedHusband mows the lawn and tries to show him how it's done, only to run over an arc welder for the car and die of electrocution.
* #331: Texas Fold 'Em: When he was revealed as a cheat while playing poker, a junkyard worker tries to hide from the mob in an old car. Unfortunately for him, that car was scheduled to be crushed, and he ends up crushed with the car, unable to escape when a claw pins his leg to the car.
* #168: Written Offed: When facing foreclosure by a particularly douche-y banker, an immigrant military surplus store owner tries to warn the banker against using a particular pen. The banker really should've listened: the pen had a small-caliber gun concealed in it which shoots him in the head.
* #817: Ball 'N Pain: Two idiots steal a Zorb Ball (a ball you can roll downhill inside) and try to play in it, but end up going down a very sharp incline, breaking every bone in their bodies and their skulls against one another as it rolled at 75 mph.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 22: You're Dead! LOL!]]
* #198: Samurai Death Squad: Japanese Americans engage in a dangerous sport where they joust at each other with tuner cars. The fun and games end when one guy gets [[EyeScream a spear through the eye]].
* #856: Shafted: A bitchy office manager ends up trapped on an elevator, which sets off her {{Claustrophobia}}. Desperate to get out, she has her workers pull the doors open so she can climb out. The elevator's hydraulic breaks give out, though, and the descending elevator [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe bisects her]].
* #343: Smoked: Annoyed that his friend keeps trying to bum smokes off of him, a man loads a shotgun shell with cigarettes to fire at his dumb friend. Turns out, even cigarettes can kill when they fly fast enough at your face.
* #413: Just Plane Dead: An annoying moron uses a remote controlled plane to menace people at a park. He loses sight of the plane when it flies towards the sun, but managed to find it again when it [[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice impales him from behind.]]
* #108: Exhaustdead: When a woman starts cheating on her abusive boyfriend to get away from him, said abusive boyfriend plans to get back at them by doing a drive-by with a paintball gun. He accidentally backs his car into a pile of trash, blocking the exhaust pipe and causing the car to flood with carbon monoxide.
* #227: Ruffed Up: A woman desperate for work takes up a job as a dog walker, even though she hates dogs. She ends up dragged along the ground while walking several dogs at the same time and, unable to free herself from the leashes, crushes her temporal lobe on a tree.
* #115: Lady & The Trampled: An angry biker pulls off an exotic dancer's top during a rally. Another dancer knocks him down, and he gets trampled to death by other bikers looking to get a peak at the dancer's boobs.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 23: Dead to Rights]]
* #118: Blown Job: A woman with an addiction to energy drinks gets passed up for promotion when she refuses to give her boss head. When another worker ([[BiTheWay a male one]]) does the deed and gets the promotion, she goes off on her boss, but suffers a heart attack from a caffeine overdose.
* #335: Anger Damagement: While watching professional wrestling, one guy, who goes off on his friends since he can't contain his rage, run heads first into the television and dies from a triple whammy of glass in his face, a broken neck, and electrocution.
* #235: Wrin-Killed: A purse-snatcher gets the snot beat out of him when his mark, an elderly woman, puts her 30 years of experience in Tae Kwon Do to good use and caves in his windpipe. Always remember, NeverMessWithGranny.
* #98: Huffington Toast: Three huffers get high on aerosol. One of the morons douses himself in solvent, then asks for a light so he can get warm. [[ManOnFire Boy, does he get warm.]] As an added bonus, the two idiots he was huffing with get arrested for manslaughter.
* #157: Hydro-Co-Done: A couple get drunk on booze and pills while relaxing in a hot tub. The hot tub malfunctions and continues to drive up the temperature, but the couple are too drunk to notice that their hot tub is turning into a pot of boiling water.
* #218: Samu-Fry: Two board Japanese-American teenagers fight with katanas. As one is about to land the killing blow on the other, his sword hits a power line and fries him.
* #236: Screwged: A Christmas-hating Grinch chases off some carolers with rotten fruit. The spirit of Christmas pays him back with a skull fracture from a large halestone.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 24: Dead on Dead]]
* #101: Weenie Roast: Some campers enjoy a drunken game of Truth or Dare. One dare is to go pee on an electric fence. The guy who follows throw on it gets a shock up his pee stream and through his weenie, electrocuting him.
* #202: Reef Stew: A South Pacific tribe who has gone without meat for the better part of typhoon season come upon a couple drug runners who wash ashore. At last, [[ImAHumanitarian fresh meat!]]
* #889: Fiddle Licked: A Middle Eastern terrorist posing as a rug salesman is dispatched by a CIA agent disguised as violinist. Her weapon of choice? [[FrickinLaserBeams An experimental laser gun]] concealed in her violin case which fries the terrorist's brain with gamma radiation.
* #224: Snakey Breaky Neck: A spoiled rich idjit goes off a jungle trail against the warnings of his guide and lies down for a nap, only to wake up with a tarantula on his leg. He flees in fear and thinks he's safe, but ends up getting choked out by a boa constrictor.
* #540: Beer Bashed: A rugby team throws a party after losing a big game. One player, drunk and angry, throws the keg into a bonfire. Bad idea: the heat from the fire causes the keg to [[StuffBlowingUp explode like a giant frag grenade]], slicing the player up with large chunks of shrapnel.
* #321: Bad Assid: Four friends experiment with the mind-melting drug LSD. One girl takes two hits and, while tripping balls, tries to do a belly flop into a pool. The pool was empty, so the girl just ends up breaking her back.
* #176: Tree Mugger: To prevent a tree from being cut down, a hardcore environmentalist chains himself to a tree. His plan succeeds, but it turns out to be a bad idea when a [[BearsAreBadNews wondering bear]] sees him as a free snack.
[[/folder]]

[[foldercontrol]]

* #412: Em-Bear-Assed: A man [[MushroomSamba high on 'shrooms]] stumbles upon a [[FurryFandom furry]] orgy in the desert and tries to get a piece of the action, but to no avail. He eventually tries to schmooze up to a bear. Too bad it was a real bear that really ate him alive.

* #417: DestRoid: A bodybuilder with major TestosteronePoisoning also suffers from a heart attack due to abuse of steroids and growth hormones.

[[/folder]