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** Tyrion's claim that Kings are now like flies is proven to not be just a jest.

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** Tyrion's claim that Kings are now like flies is proven to not be just a jest.brutally correct.
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** Tyrion's claim that Kings are now like flies is proven to not be just a jest.


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** Whats even more ironic is that "The Rains of Castamere" was being played shortly before his death.
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At '''Dragonstone''', Melisandre is burning Selyse's brother alive for nonconversion. Selyse, ever the serene fanatic, ecstatically swears that she saw his soul leave his body, with all its sin burned away. Davos is less than thrilled about it, asking Stannis how many ships Florent had brought to his cause. More than you, says Stannis.

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At '''Dragonstone''', Melisandre is burning Selyse's brother alive for nonconversion. Selyse, ever the serene joyful fanatic, ecstatically swears that she saw his soul leave his body, with all its sin burned away. Davos is less than thrilled about it, asking Stannis how many ships Florent had brought to his cause. More than you, says Stannis.
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Later on, the team comes across a Heart Tree. Bran puts his hand against it, and promptly flooded with visions. Him falling off the tower. The Three-Eyed Crow. Ned in his dungeon. A voice commanding him to "look for me". A legion of black birds. Cersei screaming ''he saw us!'' The voice again- '''''NORTH!'''''. Bran wakes from the dream and says he knows where to go.

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Later on, the team comes across a Heart Tree. Bran puts his hand against it, and promptly flooded with visions. Him falling off the tower. The Three-Eyed Crow. Ned in his dungeon. A voice commanding him to "look for me". A legion of black birds. Cersei screaming ''he saw us!'' The voice again- again, crying '''''NORTH!'''''. Bran wakes from the dream and says he knows where to go.
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Meanwhile, at '''King's Landing''', Jamie and Tyrion are eating breakfast. Jamie is starting to question his usefulness in the Kingsguard. After all, he's a bodyguard with one hand - a kingslayer who can't slay. Tyrion exhorts him to train and even offers him a trainer who'll keep his mouth shut. Meeting with Bronn at discreet place (Bronn [[Squick screws other men's wives there]]), Jaime gets to work on becoming a lefty.

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Meanwhile, at '''King's Landing''', Jamie and Tyrion are eating breakfast. Jamie is starting to question his usefulness in the Kingsguard. After all, he's a bodyguard with one hand - a kingslayer who can't slay. Tyrion exhorts him to train and even offers him a trainer who'll keep his mouth shut. Meeting with Bronn at discreet place (Bronn [[Squick screws other men's wives there]]), there), Jaime gets to work on becoming a lefty.



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''The Lion and The Rose'' begins '''Somewhere In The North''', where a pair of young lovers are merrily chasing game in the woods. The man is Ramsay Bolton, however, and so of course the game is people. The servant girl, chased by hounds and the Bolton duo and Reek, runs for a bit until Ramsey's equally AxCrazy girlfriend puts an arrow in her leg. Blubbering, the girl cries that she'd do anything he wants. True, but you made my girl jealous, says Ramsay, and gives her to the dogs.

Meanwhile, at '''King's Landing''', Jamie and Tyrion are eating breakfast. Jamie is starting to question his usefulness in the Kingsguard. After all, he's a bodyguard with one hand - a kingslayer who can't slay. Tyrion exhorts him to train and even offers him a trainer who'll keep his mouth shut. Meeting with Bronn at discreet place (Bronn [[Squick screws other men's wives there]]), Jaime gets to work on becoming a lefty.

Several knights bearing the Flayed Man arrive at '''The Dreadfort'''. Roose Bolton has returned, with a Frey wife and Locke in tow. The first thing he does after settling in is to have Ramsay bring Reek to him. His reaction to the flayed torture victim is one of annoyance: this was Balon Greyjoy's heir. The Greyjoys hold the strategically-important Moat Caitlin, hurting the Bolton position to where Roose had to smuggle himself in, and now Ramsay has just ruined their best bargaining chip. Ramsay's hole is dug deeper when it comes out that he offered terms to Balon without Roose's consent.

Ramsay digs himself out by arguing that what they lost in Theon The Bargaining Chip, they've gained in Reek The Servant. To demonstrate, he orders Reek to shave him. Roose Bolton watches as Reek holds a razor to his torturer's throat. Ramsay doesn't lose a drop of blood, even when he reveals Robb's death. He also provides Roose with the secret of Bran and Rickon still being alive. In the end, Locke is sent after the Stark boys, while Ramsay and Reek are sent to take Moat Caitlin.

In '''King's Landing''', Tyrion is on his way to Joffrey's wedding-day breakfast. Varys pulls him to the side to warn him that Shae's cover has been blown. He's not going to lie for her― he values his head too much for that― but he has friends across the sea that will help her.

At the breakfast, Joffrey seems, incredibly, like he's shaping up. He thanks Mace Tyrell for giving him a cup, and is even able to speak courteously to Tyrion when presented with a history of kings. Joffrey loses it, however, when given his Valyrian-steel blade, gleefully hacking the book to shreds. He invites the audience to help him come up with a name, and they shout out possibilities until he hears one he likes: "Widow's Wail".

Tyrion meets with Shae to inform her that they're over. Their friendship is over. She's going to get on a ship, and he's going to keep his vows to his wife. Unfortunately, the otherwise-sensible Shae has hit an almost Stark level of love-stupidity, to the point where she says they'll "fight them together". Tyrion cranks it up, calling her a whore repeatedly, asking her how many men she's fucked, and going at it until she starts crying. He calls in Bronn to escort her to the ship to Pentos with the house and the servants and all the other things that she didn't want the first time. She slaps Bronn and storms out. Bronn follows her. Tyrion [[TantrumThrowing knocks a cup over]].

At '''Dragonstone''', Melisandre is burning Selyse's brother alive for nonconversion. Selyse, ever the serene fanatic, ecstatically swears that she saw his soul leave his body, with all its sin burned away. Davos is less than thrilled about it, asking Stannis how many ships Florent had brought to his cause. More than you, says Stannis.

At supper, Selyse reminisces about her time under siege at Storm's End. The conversation shifts to Shireen. Selyse is of the opinion that she's a stubborn and sinful creature that God saw fit to curse. Stannis is of the opinion that she's a child. Selyse is able to get Melisandre sent to her. Shireen isn't persuaded when the Red Priestess likens a burning man's screams to a woman's screams at birth, but is taken aback when told that everything she learned about The Seven is a lie. So there ''isn't'' seven heavens and seven hells? she asks. There's only one hell, Melisandre assures her, the one we live in now.

Then, we go '''North Of The Wall''', where a deer is being stalked by a video camera. It follows the deer silently, waits for its moment, and pounces. The camera begins to feast on warm deer flesh just as Hodor wakes Bran up, pulling him out of Summer. Jojen and Meera treat him to lecture on the dangers of going native and potentially forgetting what it means to be human. Bran sullenly eats his meager provisions.

Later on, the team comes across a Heart Tree. Bran puts his hand against it, and promptly flooded with visions. Him falling off the tower. The Three-Eyed Crow. Ned in his dungeon. A voice commanding him to "look for me". A legion of black birds. Cersei screaming ''he saw us!'' The voice again- '''''NORTH!'''''. Bran wakes from the dream and says he knows where to go.

We return to '''King's Landing''', where we stay for the rest of the episode. Joffrey is getting married to Margaery. The Septon declares them to be of one heart and flesh and soul. Joffrey cloaks and kisses his wife, to applause.

Olenna and Tywin walk and talk on their way the reception. They're getting almost friendly now. The two discuss the costs of the wedding - not now, Olenna says to Mace as he walks up to where the adults are talking- and then the Iron Bank of Braavos. Tywin says, agreeably, that he's not worried about owing them money. She, equally agreeable, tells him that he's too smart for that.

The assembled nobles, in keeping with proud Westerosi tradition, make the reception as unpleasant as possible. Olenna approaches Sansa to offer her condolences on the Red Wedding. It's hard enough to lose family, she says (within hearing of Lannisters), but what monster would kill a man on their ''wedding night''? She then goes off to "eat some of the food I paid for." Loras exchanges veiled insults with Jamie. Joffrey irritably tells some jesters to get lost, literally throwing money at them.

Margaery tries to save the mood by making a speech. She announces that all the leftovers will be given to charity, which garners applause. But then Brienne approaches the table to congratulate her. Cersei follows after her. In conversation, Brienne mentions that Jamie saved her life. Cersei senses something and quickly goes into ClingyJealousGirl mode. I haven't heard that story, she says pleasantly, but you must have ''so many'' interesting stories, what with murdering Renly and following camps and flitting between so many masters. Brienne says she never served Jamie. But you love him, Cersei says and gets no response.

She storms off to find Pycelle, who [[DirtyOldMan is trying to get laid]]. Cersei informs him that his presence annoys her, and orders him to have the kitchen give the leftovers to the kennels instead of the poor. Then she meets up with Tywin just in time to run into Oberyn and Ellaria. Their introductions quickly descend into CulturalPosturing and family-based insults. Always polite insults, though. These are aristocrats, after all.

Joffrey manages to earn himself the Gold Medal Of Bad Taste when he denounces the crowd for taking his wedding for entertainment. It's ''history'', he says, and to ''contemplate'' history, he has reenacted, for you, the War Of The Five Kings. Several dwarves, dressed as Joffrey, Stannis, Renly, Robb, and Balon, run onstage and start whacking each other with fake swords. Dwarf!Joffrey calls Dwarf!Renly a deviant, while Renly's ex-wife watches mortified. All the Tyrells are mortified. Sansa is mortified. Tyrion is mortified. Nearly everyone shows some disapproval at this, the main exception being Joffrey, who almost rolling with laughter.

When they're done, Joffrey asks Tyrion if he'd like to join. Tyrion declines like a true noble/using a thinly-veiled insult. Joffrey clever response to this is to dump his cup of wine over Tyrion's head. Margaery proposes a toast to which Joffrey says you can't have toast without wine, and orders Tyrion to be cupbearer. In handing the cup over, Joffrey drops it and kicks it under a table, forcing Tyrion to go under the tablecloth to get it. Sansa picks it up on her end for Tyrion to pour. Margaery, still doing her damnedest to keep this thing sane, turns Joffrey's attention to a giant pie being brought out.

A slash from Widow's Wail sends several concealed pigeons into the air. Tyrion tries to sneak off with Sansa, but Joffrey notices this and asks where the cupbearer is going. Tyrion says to change his clothes, but Joffrey won't have any of that. He demands some wine to wash down his pie. Tyrion, after serving him, requests permission to leave as Sansa is tired. Joffrey, in refusing, starts to cough, and taking a drink of wine begins to cough much worse. It soon becomes clear to everyone that he's ''choking''.

The King collapses. Cersei and Jaime run up to him as he starts to bleed from the mouth and nose. Dontos Hollard appears out of nowhere to tell Sansa that she has to leave ''now''. Joffrey, in the last act of his life, slowly raises a hand to point at his uncle Tyrion. And so dies King Joffrey Baratheon, the First of His Name.

Perhaps it occurred to him, in the last minute of his life, that he wasn't choking on food, because people don't generally pour blood from the mouth, nose, and eyes when they choke. Perhaps it occurred to him that he only starting choking after he drank the wine that Tyrion served. And maybe, on connecting the choking to the wine to Tyrion, he remembered all the times where his uncle threatened to murder or castrate him, often in front of witnesses. Perhaps it struck him as odd that his uncle was alone with the goblet under the table, and tried to leave twice for different reasons just as soon as it was returned.

It doesn't matter. Even if none of these things occurred to Joffrey, they have occurred to Cersei, who starts shrieking for the guards to grab Tyrion. They do, to his horror.

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* ArmorPiercingQuestion: Brienne gets one regarding Jaime.
--> '''Cersei''': Do you love him?


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* DistractedByTheSexy: Loras bumps into Jaime while exchanging sultry looks with Oberyn.


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* FoodPorn: The wedding feast looks amazing.


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* KickTheDog: When it comes to the entertainers at his wedding, Joffrey averts NiceToTheWaiter in all ways possible.


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* PragmaticVillainy: Roose Bolton is certainly not pleased with his son's antics.
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* NoYou: Jamie tells Ser Loras that Cersei will murder Loras after their marriage. Ser Loras retorts with an epic burn.
-->'''Jamie:''' Fortunately for you, that will never happen because you will not marry her.

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* NoYou: Jamie Jaime tells Ser Loras that Cersei will murder Loras after their marriage. Ser Loras retorts with an epic burn.
-->'''Jamie:''' -->'''Jaime:''' Fortunately for you, that will never happen because you will not marry her.
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* IronicEcho: The music played over the end credits is SigurRos' cover of "The Rains of Castamere," shortly after Joffrey has been killed and the Lannisters are in complete disarray.

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* ShoutOut: When he receives his [[AbsurdlySharpBlade Valyrian Steel Sword]] Joffrey calls out for people to name it. One courtier shouts [[TheElricSaga Stormbringer]], another suggests [[BookOfTheNewSun Terminus]].



* ShoutOut: When he receives his [[AbsurdlySharpBlade Valyrian Steel Sword]] Joffrey calls out for people to name it. One courtier shouts [[TheElricSaga Stormbringer.]]

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* ActionFilmQuietDramaScene: For a show brimmed with action scenes, most of this episode's content is centered around the Purple Wedding.

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* ActionFilmQuietDramaScene: For a show brimmed with action fight scenes, most of this episode's content is centered around the Purple Wedding.


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* CallBack: The Red Wedding's episode ''The Rains of Castamere'' concluded with the namesake song. This episode, being the Purple Wedding also ends as such.


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* DisturbedDoves: The pigeon pie. Some of them are unfortunately chopped down by Joffrey's new sword.


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* FreezeFrameBonus: [[spoiler: Lady Olenna playing on Sansa's braids (and [[ChekhovsGun Ser Dontos' necklace]]).]]


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* IncurableCoughOfDeath: Joffrey's cough intensifies as he collapses in a siezing, bleeding blue mess.


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* NoYou: Jamie tells Ser Loras that Cersei will murder Loras after their marriage. Ser Loras retorts with an epic burn.
-->'''Jamie:''' Fortunately for you, that will never happen because you will not marry her.
-->'''Loras:''' [[StealthInsult Neither will you]].
* RuleOfSymbolism: The entire War of the Five Kings mock-up play by the dwarves.
* SmallNameBigEgo: The boy King Joffrey takes all credit in winning the War of the Five Kings. Tyrion publicly chews him out on this, but gets a dwarf {{humiliation conga}} in return.
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* KickTheSonOfABitch: Joffrey dies as he lived, cramming as many of these as possible into twenty minutes of screentime.

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* KickTheSonOfABitch: Joffrey dies as he lived, cramming as many of these KickTheDog moments as possible into twenty minutes of screentime.
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* DeathByIrony: Joffrey dies in the same way as Robb Stark. Killed by treachery at a wedding whilst his mother is forced to watch as he dies a painful death (The difference being is that his mother and wife aren't suffering from a slight case of death).

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* DeathByIrony: Joffrey dies in the same way as Robb Stark. Killed by treachery at a wedding whilst his mother is forced to watch as he dies a painful death (The difference being is that his mother and wife aren't suffering from a slight case of death).death.

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* AdaptationExpansion: In the books its only two dwarfs jousting: one to mock Robb Stark and one to mock Stannis.



* EveryoneHasStandards: Margaery, the other Tyrells, Varys, Tywin and some guests are all unamused or disgusted by Joffrey's antics at the wedding, particularly his mean spirited humiliation of Tyrion and Sansa.

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* EveryoneHasStandards: EveryoneHasStandards[=/=]DudeNotFunny: Margaery, the other Tyrells, Varys, Tywin and some guests are all unamused or disgusted by Joffrey's antics at the wedding, particularly his mean spirited humiliation of Tyrion and Sansa.



* ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies: Tyrion verbally insults Shae so she will leave King's Landing, knowing that her identity is a huge target for Cersei and Tywin.

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* ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies: ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies[=/=]BreakHisHeartToSaveHim: Tyrion verbally insults Shae so she will leave King's Landing, knowing that her identity is a huge target for Cersei and Tywin.
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* AndIMustScream: The fates of Tansy and the Florents burned by Melisandre

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* ComeWithMeIfYouWantToLive: In the chaos of Joffrey's poisoning, Dontos Hollard calmly approaches Sansa and prompts her to go with him if she expects to survive.



* EveryoneHasStandards: Margaery, the other Tyrells, Varys, and Tywin are all unamused or disgusted by Joffrey's antics at the wedding, particularly his mean spirited humiliation of Tyrion and Sansa.

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* EveryoneHasStandards: Margaery, the other Tyrells, Varys, and Tywin and some guests are all unamused or disgusted by Joffrey's antics at the wedding, particularly his mean spirited humiliation of Tyrion and Sansa.

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Entry is not in-universe. Joffrey\'s death is a catalyst for the rest of the season\'s chaos ala Ned Stark.


* AndThereWasMuchRejoicing: JOFFREY IS DEAD!

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* AndThereWasMuchRejoicing: JOFFREY IS DEAD!ActionFilmQuietDramaScene: For a show brimmed with action scenes, most of this episode's content is centered around the Purple Wedding.



* FunnyBackgroundEvent: Varys' head can be seen bopped forward by a passing dwarf jouster from behind.
* ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies: Tyrion verbally insults Shae so she will leave King's Landing, knowing that her identity is a huge target for Cersei and Tywin.



* KickTheDog: Joffrey dies as he lived, cramming as many of these as possible into twenty minutes of screentime.

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* KickTheDog: KickTheSonOfABitch: Joffrey dies as he lived, cramming as many of these as possible into twenty minutes of screentime.

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* FatGirl: Lady Walda Bolton ne Frey

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** The dwarf performance put on by Joffrey, so very much obviously intended as a cheap shot at Tyrion and Sansa.
* FatGirl: Lady Walda Bolton ne nee Frey
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* EveryoneHasStandards: Margaery, the other Tyrells, Varys, and Tywin are all unamused or disgusted by Joffrey's antics at the wedding, particularly his mean spirited humiliation of Tyrion and Sansa.
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* AssholeVictim: Joffrey.
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* AbsurdlySharpBlade: Joffrey demonstrates his newest toy by cutting through the Tyrion's gift as if it were butter.

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* AbsurdlySharpBlade: Joffrey demonstrates his newest toy by cutting through the Tyrion's gift very thick book that Tyrion gave him as if it were butter.
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* DeathByIrony: Joffrey dies in the same way as Robb Stark. Killed by treachery at his own wedding whilst his mother is forced to watch as he dies a painful death (The difference being is that his mother and wife aren't suffering from a slight case of death).

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* DeathByIrony: Joffrey dies in the same way as Robb Stark. Killed by treachery at his own a wedding whilst his mother is forced to watch as he dies a painful death (The difference being is that his mother and wife aren't suffering from a slight case of death).
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Added DiffLines:

* DeathByIrony: Joffrey dies in the same way as Robb Stark. Killed by treachery at his own wedding whilst his mother is forced to watch as he dies a painful death (The difference being is that his mother and wife aren't suffering from a slight case of death).
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* AbsurdlySharpBlade: Joffrey demonstrates his newest toy by cutting through the Tyrion's gift as if it were butter.


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* BreakTheBadass: Ramsay's work on Theon/Reek is so effective he feels perfectly safe letting him shave him.
* ChubbyMamaSkinnyPapa: The Bolton newlyweds.


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* FatGirl: Lady Walda Bolton ne Frey
* HuntingTheMostDangerousGame: One of Ramsay's favorite sports... but not too dangerous.


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* ShoutOut: When he receives his [[AbsurdlySharpBlade Valyrian Steel Sword]] Joffrey calls out for people to name it. One courtier shouts [[TheElricSaga Stormbringer.]]
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* MommasBoy: Mace Tyrell

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* IdenticalCousin: Thanks to TheOtherDarrin and ActingForTwo, Tommen now looks quite similar to Martyn Lannister because Dean-Charles Chapman, who played Martyn in Season 4, now plays Tommen, having replaced Callum Wharry.



* KickTheDog: Joffrey dies as he lived, cramming as many of these as possible into twenty minutes of screentime.

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* KickTheDog: Joffrey dies as he lived, cramming as many of these as possible into twenty minutes of screentime.screentime.
* UncannyFamilyResemblance: Thanks to TheOtherDarrin and ActingForTwo, Tommen now looks quite similar to Martyn Lannister because Dean-Charles Chapman, who played Martyn in Season 4, now plays Tommen, having replaced Callum Wharry.
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* IdenticalCousins: Thanks to TheOtherDarrin and ActingForTwo, Tommen now looks quite similar to Martyn Lannister because Dean-Charles Chapman, who played Martyn in Season 4, now plays Tommen, having replaced Callum Wharry.

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* IdenticalCousins: IdenticalCousin: Thanks to TheOtherDarrin and ActingForTwo, Tommen now looks quite similar to Martyn Lannister because Dean-Charles Chapman, who played Martyn in Season 4, now plays Tommen, having replaced Callum Wharry.
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Added DiffLines:

* IdenticalCousins: Thanks to TheOtherDarrin and ActingForTwo, Tommen now looks quite similar to Martyn Lannister because Dean-Charles Chapman, who played Martyn in Season 4, now plays Tommen, having replaced Callum Wharry.
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* AndThereWasMuchRejoicing: JOFFREY IS DEAD!

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* AndThereWasMuchRejoicing: JOFFREY IS DEAD!DEAD!
* EvilIsPetty: Cersei overturns Margaery's order to give the leftovers from the wedding feast to the poor, just because of how powerless she's felt ever since the Tyrells came to town.
* KickTheDog: Joffrey dies as he lived, cramming as many of these as possible into twenty minutes of screentime.
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Added DiffLines:

*AndThereWasMuchRejoicing: JOFFREY IS DEAD!

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