History Recap / DeathBattleS09E09JamesBondVSJohnWick

'''Boomstick:''' What more can we say about 007? He's got the best job in the business, and [[Film/TheSpyWhoLovedMe nobody does it better]].\\

Bond is tackled into the wall by Baba Yaga, who punches him in the face and then suplexes him. Pinned down, James tries to use his laser watch, but Wick knocks it to the side and punches him again before stealing his explosive pen. As Wick clicks the end to release the tip so he can stab his opponent, Bond manages to roll away and get back onto his feet so he can reclaim control of his pen. However, the former assassin's grip on the pen is strong and he manages to kick Bond away before attempting to swipe the pen to slash Agent 007. Bond attempts to restrain Wick and the resulting struggle sees the pen being tossed into the air, landing on its end with one last click. As Bond muses about the pen, it explodes, sending both assassins falling down to the lobby.

Both assassins struggle to get up amidst a sea of glass shards, but Baba Yaga has the advantage of having his handgun nearby, forcing Bond to take cover behind a pillar and call for his car which barges into the room and fires at Wick with its twin headlight machine guns. Bond takes one look at Wick dodging this unexpected attack, but it quickly proves to be a mistake; Baba Yaga spots him and takes aim, shooting Bond's car control off Bond's hands, damaging it, before charging at the licensed killer for a knife fight. Amidst struggling to counter Wick's attacks and his now out-of-control car, Bond is stabbed, but manages to headbutt Wick in time to avoid his car's gunfire, dive to a pistol on the ground and land a shot at Baba Yaga's chest before the former hitman can pull his trigger, his bulletproof vest having been greatly weakened earlier in the struggle by Bond's earlier attacks.

Enraged, Wick charges at the British agent for one more struggle, gaining two more bullets to his chest. As 007 tries to resist Bond's pressing, he observes a chandelier from the bar along with his spinning car still firing everything it has and, with a witty quip, pushes his target towards the car before firing his watch laser at the chandelier's hanging chain, causing it to fall on a worn out Wick, who resignedly agrees with Bond's saying right before he dies. With [=MI6=]'s target down and Wick's phone dying out from damage, Q contacts Bond over how the mission went out, to which 007 only responds with an exhausted "Smashing. Positively smashing".

Enraged, Wick charges at the British agent for one more struggle, gaining two more bullets to his chest. As 007 tries to resist Bond's pressing, he observes a chandelier from the bar along with his spinning car still firing everything it has and, with a witty quip, pushes his target towards the car before firing his watch laser at the chandelier's hanging chain, causing it to fall on a worn out Wick, who resignedly agrees with Bond's saying right before he dies. With [=MI6=]'s target down, Q contacts Bond over how the mission went out, to which 007 only responds with an exhausted "Smashing. Positively smashing".

Bond is tackled into the wall by Baba Yaga, who punches him in the face and then suplexes him. Pinned down, James tries to use his laser watch, but Wick knocks it to the side and punches him again before stealing his explosive pen. As Wick clicks the end to release the tip so he can stab his opponent, Bond manages to roll away and get back onto his feet so he can reclaim control of his pen. However, the former assassin's grip on the pen is strong and he manages to kick Bond away before attempting to swipe the pen to slash Agent 007. Bond attempts to restrain Wick and the resulting struggle sees the pen being tossed into the air, landing on its end with one last click. As Bond muses about the situation, the pen explodes, sending both assassins falling down to the lobby.

Both assassins struggle to get up amidst the sea of glass shards, but Baba Yaga has the advantage of having a pistol nearby, forcing Bond to hide behind a pillar and call for his car which barges into the room and fires at Wick with its hidden machine guns. Bond takes one look at Wick hiding, but it quickly proves to be a mistake; Baba Yaga quickly takes aim, shooting Bond's car control off Bond's hands, damaging it, before charging at the licensed killer for a knife fight. Amidst struggling to respond to Wick's attacks and his now out-of-control car, Bond is stabbed, but manages to headbutt Wick in time to avoid his car's gunfire, dive to a pistol on the ground and land a shot at Baba Yaga's chest before he can pull his trigger, his bulletproof vest having been greatly weakened earlier in the struggle by Bond's earlier attacks.

Enraged, Wick charges at the British agent in one more struggle, gaining two more bullets to his chest. As 007 tries to resist Bond's pressing, he observes a chandelier from the bar along with his spinning car still firing everything it has and, with a witty quip, pushes his target towards the car before firing his watch laser at the chandelier's hanging chain, causing it to fall on a worn out Wick, who resignedly agrees with Bond over his saying right before he dies. With [=MI6=]'s target down, Q contacts Bond over how the mission went out, to which 007 only responds with an exhausted "Smashing. Positively smashing".

Enraged, Wick charges at the British agent in one more struggle, gaining two more bullets to his chest. As 007 tries to resist Bond's pressing, he observes a chandelier from the bar along with his spinning car still firing everything it has and, with a witty quip, pushes his target towards the car before firing his watch laser at the chandelier's hanging chain, causing it to fall on a worn out Wick, who resignedly agrees with Bond over his saying right before he dies. With MI6's target down, Q contacts Bond over how the mission went out, to which 007 only responds with an exhausted "Smashing. Positively smashing".

Bond is tackled into the wall by Baba Yaga, who punches him in the face and then suplexes him. Pinned down, James tries to use his laser watch, but Wick knocks it to the side and punches him again before stealing his explosive pen. As Wick clicks the end to release the tip so he can stab his opponent, Bond manages to roll away and get back onto his feet so he can reclaim control of his pen.

''*work in progress*''

* PreMortemOneLiner: "What comes around goes around, they say." He then kicks John into the circling Aston Martin until he's right below the FallenChandelierOfDoom.

The hosts first look at one of [=MI6=]'s finest and one of the original action heroes who's operated from the beaches of Crab Key to the craps table of [[Film/CasinoRoyale2006 Casino Royale]], Film/FromRussiaWithLove to Film/{{Moonraker}} at the edge of space, a man who's saved the world on multiple occasions, Agent 007, known just as well by his civilian name: Bond... James Bond. As a young man, Bond lost both of his parents in a climbing accident in the French Alps, after which he studied abroad and graduated to the Ministry of Defense. Though World War II broke out soon after, Bond quickly rose through the ranks and became a commander of the Royal Navy, and after the war ended, James decided Film/OnHerMajestysSecretService and became an special agent of [=MI6=]. His superiors were so impressed with Bond's work that he was sent on his first two state-sanctioned assassinations, after which he was granted his 00 codename and a Film/LicenceToKill with impunity.

As befitting one of his legendary status, 007 is a jack-of-all-trades throughout his various incarnations and depictions, holding many skills to his name. His assigned weapon is the Walther PPK, one of the world's first successful semi-automatic pistols which, while only able to carry nine rounds at a time, is easily concealable thanks to its small size, and a microdermal implant in the grip encoded to Bond's fingerprint ensures that only he can fire it. What's more, the ammunition for it has been modified to split apart on entry, creating eight exit wounds akin to a shotgun blast. And Bond has the Film/GoldenEye of marksmanship to make the most of it, being able to clear a room of armed guards in only a second and shoot the fuel tank of a helicopter a quarter of a mile away from a moving speedboat, both feats performed with this same pistol. This isn't to say Bond is any less dangerous unarmed, as he utilizes a mix of fighting styles theorized to most likely be the Welsh self-defense system of Goshinkwai, taught by the modern Special Air Service, and includes judo, boxing, Krav Maga, Muay Thai, and jiu-jitsu, allowing him to keep up even when his foes outnumber him. And questionable as it may seem, it is undeniable that James has an innate talent for seduction, having once charmed a woman sent to kill him that he'd only met less than two minutes prior to the point that she willingly took a bullet for him. As such, it's only fitting that to compliment his knack for quick thinking and creative problem-solving, he'd be armed with several gadgets developed by [=MI6=]'s quartermaster, Q. Among these gadgets are a pen that explodes after three clicks and disarms with a fourth, a sea watch able to fire a cutting laser, a miniature rocket launcher disguised as a cigarette, and C4 toothpaste able to be remotely detonated. Also within his arsenal is a lightweight bulletproof vest, a garrote wire for covert eliminations, and a grappling hook hidden in his belt buckle, with more esoteric equipment including echolocation earbuds, x-ray vision sunglasses, ultrasonic cufflink grenades, a stun gas keychain, a cell phone taser, explosive remote-controlled drones, a nanosuit that renders him invisible to the naked eye, and even a jetpack (which Boomstick remarks would take a real pair of [[Film/{{Thunderball}} thunderballs]] to fire upon one riding it). Though all this pales in comparison to his signature means of transportation, the Aston Martin [=DB5=]. This seemingly ordinary car is equipped with just as many gadgets as its driver, including front-mounted machine guns, oil slicks, smoke screens, and an ejector seat, and the vehicle is immensely bulletproof as well. Q has provided Bond with numerous versions of the Aston Martin over the years with increasingly remarkable features, such as a submarine transformation, light-bending holograms, and a remote control built into Bond's phone.

And while it may seem like 007 has the world at his fingertips, for him, Film/TheWorldIsNotEnough, as though his debonair attitude and quick wit would suggest otherwise, Bond is a broken, soulless shell of a man only good at murder. Though he wasn't always this way; not long after attaining 00 status, James had found love and had decided to marry and leave the Secret Service behind. However, fate had other plans for him, and his wife would die soon after, prompting the heartbroken Bond to return. And with nothing left to live for, it could be argued that his psychopathic tendencies are apparent, having killed hundreds of enemies over his storied career and being said to enjoy the act of interrogation and torture more than he should. Bond is strong enough to battle superhuman opponents such as Oddjob and Jaws, the latter of whom is able to lift a van off the ground, and durable enough to survive his aircraft being blasted by a stinger missile, falling hundreds of feet into a river, and endure brutal acts of torture. 007 is even quick enough to dodge gunfire at almost point-blank range, and capable of dodging missiles in freefall while successfully returning fire. Time and again he's outsmarted villainous masterminds such as Film/DrNo, Film/{{Goldfinger}}, Scaramanga (aka Film/TheManWithTheGoldenGun), and his arch-nemesis, the international terrorist Ernst Stavro Blofeld. But all this should come to be expected of a man who once escaped a laser from outer space by kite-surfing on a tsunami.

One advertisement for the episode's first sponsor Babbel later, the hosts introduce Bond's foe by espousing that there are mistakes one can make that can screw a person over for the rest of their life. Such a mistake was made by one Iosef Tarasov, the son of the head of a Russian mafia gang who, after his offer to buy a man's car from him was rejected, decided to break into the man's home, beat him up, steal the car, and kill his dog for good measure. Unfortunately for him, said man was Johnathan Wick, also known as Baba Yaga, one of the deadliest men in the world... and the dog, Daisy, was the last gift from his recently deceased wife Helen. Though this Film/{{Spectre}}'s past is shrouded in mystery, it's rumored that he was born Jardani Jovonovich, and trained by the Ruska Roma crime syndicate at a young age before moving to America to make a name for himself in its underworld, and evidently succeeded to the point that even the most hardened criminals know enough about him to have Film/TheLivingDaylights scared out of them.

A master martial artist, Wick combines several fighting styles into one all-purpose style that brutally combines maximum efficiency with minimal exertion. Since it's extremely rare to his foes survive such an encounter with him, which specific styles those are are [[Film/ForYourEyesOnly for his eyes only]], so Wiz and Boomstick look at the styles that his actor, Creator/KeanuReeves, trained in to prepare for the movies, and determine that he uses a mix of sambo, aikido, judo, and Brazilian jiu-jitsu for defensive purposes, while falling back on Krav Maga when going on the offensive. The last of these styles is designed to be as deadly as possible, and this also describes John perfectly; in his hands, anything from knives and swords to ordinary objects like books, a belt, and even a pencil are deadly objects, and his precise understanding of human anatomy lets him easily target weak points and vital organs. But Wick doesn't have to rely on such unconventional weapons thanks to the Continental, an international chain of hotels that serves as a front to an assassin society, which provides him with whatever munitions he requires. John's favored firearm is the Heckler & Koch [=P30L=], a polymer-framed semi-automatic handgun that holds fifteen 9x19 rounds at a time, which he expertly wields to clear entire rooms of hostiles, once even taking out seven armed guards within three seconds. Wick's accuracy is also not to be taken lightly, consistently landing shots even when riding a horse or a motorcycle; if he has Film/AViewToAKill, he'll take it. He comes literally dressed to kill with a tailored tactically-lined suit that is completely bulletproof, able to endure several close-range gunshots, and also helps him blend into the shadows for stealthy takedowns.

Bond feigns defeat and requests to have one last smoke, but Wick asks what [=MI6=] wants with him. James politely replies by telling John that his reputation precedes him and that he will try to keep up despite John insisting that he won't. James winks at John and then shoots a tiny rocket from his cigar which knocks the former assassin down and leaves a small flame on his jacket. This causes John to drop his smartphone which is showing a picture of him with his dead wife.

Bond is tackled into the wall by Baba Yaga, who punches him in the face and then suplexes him. Pinnded down, James tries to use his laser watch, but Wick knocks it to the side and punches him again before stealing his explosive pen. As Wick clicks the end to release the tip so he can stab his opponent, Bond manages to roll away and get back onto his feet so he can reclaim control of his pen.

* NoodleIncident: At the beginning of Wick's analysis, when Boomstick asks Wiz if he ever made a mistake that was so big that he's "just [beep]ed for the rest of [his] life", Wiz wearily answers "yes", but doesn't elaborate.

John Wick pulls out his pistol and both men fire into each other's stomachs, only being knocked backwards thanks to their body armor. Wick disarms Bond and then hits him with a bar stool, to which the agent from MI6 replies by knocking his gun away with a tray, only to get disarmed again, prompting him to jump over another nearby bar. After Wick lobs a piece of the broken bar stool at his opponent, he uses the distraction to retrieve his gun. But when he aims it at Bond, he sees him smoking a cigarette.

Bond feigns defeat and requests to have one last smoke, but Wick asks what MI6 wants with him. James politely replies by telling John that his reputation precedes him and that he will try to keep up despite John insisting that he won't. James winks at John and then shoots a tiny rocket from his cigar which knocks the former assassin down and leaves a small flame on his jacket. This causes John to drop his smartphone which is showing a picture of him with his dead wife.

The hosts first look at one of [=MI6=]'s finest and one of the original action heroes who's operated from the beaches of Crab Key to the craps table of [[Film/CasinoRoyale2006 Casino Royale]], Film/FromRussiaWithLove to Film/{{Moonraker}} at the edge of space, a man who's saved the world on multiple occasions, Agent 007, known just as well by his civilian name: Bond... James Bond. As a young man, Bond lost both of his parents in a climbing accident in the French Alps, after which he studied abroad and graduated to the Ministry of Defense. Though World War II broke out soon after, Bond quickly rose through the ranks and became a commander of the Royal Navy, and after the war ended, James decided Film/OnHerMajestysSecretService and became an special agent of [=MI6=]. His superiors were so impressed with Bond's work that he was sent on his first two state-sanctioned assassinations, after which he was granted his 00 codename and a Film/LicenceToKill with impunity. As befitting one of his legendary status, 007 is a jack-of-all-trades throughout his various incarnations and depictions, holding many skills to his name. His assigned weapon is the Walther PPK, one of the world's first successful semi-automatic pistols which, while only able to carry nine rounds at a time, is easily concealable thanks to its small size, and a microdermal implant in the grip encoded to Bond's fingerprint ensures that only he can fire it. What's more, the ammunition for it has been modified to split apart on entry, creating eight exit wounds akin to a shotgun blast. And Bond has the Film/GoldenEye of marksmanship to make the most of it, being able to clear a room of armed guards in only a second and shoot the fuel tank of a helicopter a quarter of a mile away from a moving speedboat, both feats performed with this same pistol. This isn't to say Bond is any less dangerous unarmed, as he utilizes a mix of fighting styles theorized to most likely be the Welsh self-defense system of Goshinkwai, taught by the modern Special Air Service, and includes judo, boxing, Krav Maga, Muay Thai, and jiu-jitsu, allowing him to keep up even when his foes outnumber him. And questionable as it may seem, it is undeniable that James has an innate talent for seduction, having once charmed a woman sent to kill him that he'd only met less than two minutes prior to the point that she willingly took a bullet for him. As such, it's only fitting that to compliment his knack for quick thinking and creative problem-solving, he'd be armed with several gadgets developed by [=MI6=]'s quartermaster, Q. Among these gadgets are a pen that explodes after three clicks and disarms with a fourth, a sea watch able to fire a cutting laser, a miniature rocket launcher disguised as a cigarette, and C4 toothpaste able to be remotely detonated. Also within his arsenal is a lightweight bulletproof vest, a garrote wire for covert eliminations, and a grappling hook hidden in his belt buckle, with more esoteric equipment including echolocation earbuds, x-ray vision sunglasses, ultrasonic cufflink grenades, a stun gas keychain, a cell phone taser, explosive remote-controlled drones, a nanosuit that renders him invisible to the naked eye, and even a jetpack (which Boomstick remarks would take a real pair of [[Film/{{Thunderball}} thunderballs]] to fire upon one riding it). Though all this pales in comparison to his signature means of transportation, the Aston Martin [=DB5=]. This seemingly ordinary car is equipped with just as many gadgets as its driver, including front-mounted machine guns, oil slicks, smoke screens, and an ejector seat, and the vehicle is immensely bulletproof as well. Q has provided Bond with numerous versions of the Aston Martin over the years with increasingly remarkable features, such as a submarine transformation, light-bending holograms, and a remote control built into Bond's phone.

One advertisement for the episode's first sponsor Babbel later, the hosts introduce Bond's foe by espousing that there are mistakes one can make that can screw a person over for the rest of their life. Such a mistake was made by one Iosef Tarasov, the son of the head of a Russian mafia gang who, after his offer to buy a man's car from him was rejected, decided to break into the man's home, beat him up, steal the car, and kill his dog for good measure. Unfortunately for him, said man was Johnathan Wick, also known as Baba Yaga, one of the deadliest men in the world... and the dog, Daisy, was the last gift from his recently deceased wife Helen. Though this Film/{{Spectre}}'s past is shrouded in mystery, it's rumored that he was born Jardani Jovonovich, and trained by the Ruska Roma crime syndicate at a young age before moving to America to make a name for himself in its underworld, and evidently succeeded to the point that even the most hardened criminals know enough about him to have Film/TheLivingDaylights scared out of them. A master martial artist, Wick combines several fighting styles into one all-purpose style that brutally combines maximum efficiency with minimal exertion. Since it's extremely rare to his foes survive such an encounter with him, which specific styles those are are [[Film/ForYourEyesOnly for his eyes only]], so Wiz and Boomstick look at the styles that his actor, Creator/KeanuReeves, trained in to prepare for the movies, and determine that he uses a mix of sambo, aikido, judo, and Brazilian jiu-jitsu for defensive purposes, while falling back on Krav Maga when going on the offensive. The last of these styles is designed to be as deadly as possible, and this also describes John perfectly; in his hands, anything from knives and swords to ordinary objects like books, a belt, and even a pencil are deadly objects, and his precise understanding of human anatomy lets him easily target weak points and vital organs. But Wick doesn't have to rely on such unconventional weapons thanks to the Continental, an international chain of hotels that serves as a front to an assassin society, which provides him with whatever munitions he requires. John's favored firearm is the Heckler & Koch [=P30L=], a polymer-framed semi-automatic handgun that holds fifteen 9x19 rounds at a time, which he expertly wields to clear entire rooms of hostiles, once even taking out seven armed guards within three seconds. Wick's accuracy is also not to be taken lightly, consistently landing shots even when riding a horse or a motorcycle; if he has Film/AViewToAKill, he'll take it. He comes literally dressed to kill with a tailored tactically-lined suit that is completely bulletproof, able to endure several close-range gunshots, and also helps him blend into the shadows for stealthy takedowns.

* NoodleIncident: At the beginning of Wick's analysis, when Boomstick asks if there's a mistake that was made that was so big that that person is "just [beep]ed for the rest of their life", Wiz wearily answers "yes", but doesn't elaborate.
* OneLastSmoke: Bond weaponizes this by asking Wick if he can have one before it shows that he was using his Rocket Cigarette.