History Quotes / WorldWarII

9th Jul '17 10:55:41 AM nombretomado
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->''"Future historians will, I believe, regard [[UsefulNotes/SecondSinoJapaneseWar our War of Resistance]] as the most significant event in [[WorldWarTwo this period of world history]], since by our enormous sacrifices we are contributing not only to the good of the Chinese nation but also to the welfare of all mankind. From now on, however, we must struggle even harder and must be ready for even greater sacrifices, in order that justice may be accomplished. The aims of our struggle are simple and clear. If we succeed we shall not only be able to build a new China but we shall also contribute immeasurably to the peace of the world."''

to:

->''"Future historians will, I believe, regard [[UsefulNotes/SecondSinoJapaneseWar our War of Resistance]] as the most significant event in [[WorldWarTwo [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII this period of world history]], since by our enormous sacrifices we are contributing not only to the good of the Chinese nation but also to the welfare of all mankind. From now on, however, we must struggle even harder and must be ready for even greater sacrifices, in order that justice may be accomplished. The aims of our struggle are simple and clear. If we succeed we shall not only be able to build a new China but we shall also contribute immeasurably to the peace of the world."''
17th May '17 10:46:25 PM PaulA
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->"They were almost stopped by [[Film/TheFinalCountdown Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen and their time-traveling aircraft carrier]], but were themselves stopped by [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS32E8LetsKillHitler}} all the time travelers arriving to kill Hitler ripping a hole in the space-time continuum]]. So all that happened was that Creator/KurtVonnegut had this [[Literature/SlaughterhouseFive crazy idea for a story]]. So, while Rosie the Riveter built a bunch of tanks back home, we sent {{Film/Patton}} over to Europe to tell a bunch of people to "make those sons 'o bitches die for their country", but mostly just to show off his awesome giant flag. He fought in North Africa so we could have a place for [[Literature/CatchTwentyTwo Cpt. Yossarian to launch his airstrikes]] from, until he got upset by his buddy Snowden getting taken out (not realizing that [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Snowden he's actually hiding out in Russia now]].) [[Series/DadsArmy Arthur Lowe was put in charge of defending England]] while [[Film/TheGreatEscape Steve McQueen tried to escape from a POW camp]], but stopped ''just'' short of the Swiss border because [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic the Von Trapps had gotten there first]], and Richard Attenborough only succeeded in [[JurassicPark a plan to house cloned dinosaurs]] -- all while [[Series/HogansHeroes Colonel Klink]] patted himself on the back. A girl named [[Literature/TheDiaryOfAnneFrank Anne Frank]] comes into this somewhere, but I think she was rescued by [[{{Film/XMen}} a boy who had control over magnetism with his mind.]] Then they started the D-Day invasion, once [[Film/TheDirtyDozen a group of twelve angry men led by Lee Marvin]] are told [[Film/InglouriousBasterds not to shower and to invade first]] so that we can [[Film/SavingPrivateRyan send Forrest Gump to go looking for Matt Damon]]. While that's going on, [[Series/BlackSheepSquadron Robert Conrad shot down Japanese planes in the Pacific]], so to pay them back, the Japanese made Obi-Wan Kenobi [[Film/TheBridgeOnTheRiverKwai build a bridge]]. As the end draws near, Hitler [[Film/DeadSnow had dead Nazis turned into zombies]], but still Germany itself was invaded and in the end, he hid in his bunker until [[{{Film/Downfall}} the pranks of Fegelein got to be too much]] and he blew his own brains out. And Oppenheimer made a big bomb to blow up Japan, and after it was sent, the Japanese blew up the boat and [[{{Film/Jaws}} sent sharks to eat all the sailors]], so [[Film/DoctorStrangelove Slim Pickens dropped the bomb on them]], and they gave up, aaannd also... [[Film/DasBoot somewhere in there is a submarine]], I don't remember what it does exactly though. Anyway, that's what I got off Ask.com, so it's got to be true."

to:

->"They were almost stopped by [[Film/TheFinalCountdown Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen and their time-traveling aircraft carrier]], but were themselves stopped by [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS32E8LetsKillHitler}} all the time travelers arriving to kill Hitler ripping a hole in the space-time continuum]]. So all that happened was that Creator/KurtVonnegut had this [[Literature/SlaughterhouseFive crazy idea for a story]]. So, while Rosie the Riveter built a bunch of tanks back home, we sent {{Film/Patton}} over to Europe to tell a bunch of people to "make those sons 'o bitches die for their country", but mostly just to show off his awesome giant flag. He fought in North Africa so we could have a place for [[Literature/CatchTwentyTwo Cpt. Yossarian to launch his airstrikes]] from, until he got upset by his buddy Snowden getting taken out (not realizing that [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Snowden he's actually hiding out in Russia now]].) [[Series/DadsArmy Arthur Lowe was put in charge of defending England]] while [[Film/TheGreatEscape Steve McQueen tried to escape from a POW camp]], but stopped ''just'' short of the Swiss border because [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic the Von Trapps had gotten there first]], and Richard Attenborough Creator/RichardAttenborough only succeeded in [[JurassicPark [[Film/JurassicPark a plan to house cloned dinosaurs]] -- all while [[Series/HogansHeroes Colonel Klink]] patted himself on the back. A girl named [[Literature/TheDiaryOfAnneFrank Anne Frank]] comes into this somewhere, but I think she was rescued by [[{{Film/XMen}} a boy who had control over magnetism with his mind.]] Then they started the D-Day invasion, once [[Film/TheDirtyDozen a group of twelve angry men led by Lee Marvin]] are told [[Film/InglouriousBasterds not to shower and to invade first]] so that we can [[Film/SavingPrivateRyan send Forrest Gump to go looking for Matt Damon]]. While that's going on, [[Series/BlackSheepSquadron Robert Conrad shot down Japanese planes in the Pacific]], so to pay them back, the Japanese made Obi-Wan Kenobi [[Film/TheBridgeOnTheRiverKwai build a bridge]]. As the end draws near, Hitler [[Film/DeadSnow had dead Nazis turned into zombies]], but still Germany itself was invaded and in the end, he hid in his bunker until [[{{Film/Downfall}} the pranks of Fegelein got to be too much]] and he blew his own brains out. And Oppenheimer made a big bomb to blow up Japan, and after it was sent, the Japanese blew up the boat and [[{{Film/Jaws}} sent sharks to eat all the sailors]], so [[Film/DoctorStrangelove Slim Pickens dropped the bomb on them]], and they gave up, aaannd also... [[Film/DasBoot somewhere in there is a submarine]], I don't remember what it does exactly though. Anyway, that's what I got off Ask.com, so it's got to be true."
15th Mar '17 12:10:11 PM Aquila89
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->''"Democracy is more vindictive than Cabinets. The wars of peoples will be more terrible than those of kings."''
-->-- '''Winston Churchill''', speech in the House of Commons, 1901



->''"Democracy is more vindictive than Cabinets. The wars of peoples will be more terrible than those of kings."''
-->-- '''Winston Churchill'''
10th Dec '16 8:57:16 AM Tgunxd
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Added DiffLines:


->And Japan invaded more and more and more of China, and was planning to invade the entire East.
->*You got mail*
->It's from Germany. The new leader of Germany, he has a cool mustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy.
->They all decided to be friends because they have so much in common.
->(Trying to take over the world)
->(Needs friends)

->IT'S TIME FOR WORLD WAR II!!
-->- History Of Japan, by bill wurtz [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh5LY4Mz15o]]
8th Dec '16 12:20:54 AM blerg223
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->And Japan invaded more and more and more of China, and was planning to invade the entire East.
->*You got mail*
->It's from Germany. The new leader of Germany, he has a cool mustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy.
->They all decided to be friends because they have so much in common.
->(Trying to take over the world)
->(Needs friends)

->IT'S TIME FOR WORLD WAR II!!
-->- History Of Japan, by bill wurtz
4th Nov '16 3:59:44 AM Tgunxd
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Added DiffLines:

->And Japan invaded more and more and more of China, and was planning to invade the entire East.
->*You got mail*
->It's from Germany. The new leader of Germany, he has a cool mustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy.
->They all decided to be friends because they have so much in common.
->(Trying to take over the world)
->(Needs friends)

->IT'S TIME FOR WORLD WAR II!!
-->- History Of Japan, by bill wurtz
20th Oct '16 9:19:42 AM Morgenthaler
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->''"Future historians will, I believe, regard [[SecondSinoJapaneseWar our War of Resistance]] as the most significant event in [[WorldWarTwo this period of world history]], since by our enormous sacrifices we are contributing not only to the good of the Chinese nation but also to the welfare of all mankind. From now on, however, we must struggle even harder and must be ready for even greater sacrifices, in order that justice may be accomplished. The aims of our struggle are simple and clear. If we succeed we shall not only be able to build a new China but we shall also contribute immeasurably to the peace of the world."''

to:

->''"Future historians will, I believe, regard [[SecondSinoJapaneseWar [[UsefulNotes/SecondSinoJapaneseWar our War of Resistance]] as the most significant event in [[WorldWarTwo this period of world history]], since by our enormous sacrifices we are contributing not only to the good of the Chinese nation but also to the welfare of all mankind. From now on, however, we must struggle even harder and must be ready for even greater sacrifices, in order that justice may be accomplished. The aims of our struggle are simple and clear. If we succeed we shall not only be able to build a new China but we shall also contribute immeasurably to the peace of the world."''
17th Oct '16 7:53:25 PM Kalmbach
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->''"Believe me, Lang, the first twenty-four hours of the invasion will be decisive... the fate of Germany depends on the outcome... for the Allies, as well as Germany, it will be the longest day."''

to:

->''"Believe me, Lang, the first twenty-four hours of the invasion will be decisive... the fate of Germany depends on the outcome... for the Allies, as well as Germany, it will be [[Film/TheLongestDay the longest day."'']]"''



->''"Finished badly, scoundrel! It is a pity that we didn't took him alive."''

to:

->''"Finished badly, scoundrel! It is a pity that we didn't took take him alive."''
27th Sep '16 4:06:18 AM Morgenthaler
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->''"Citizens of the Soviet Union! The Soviet Government and its head, Comrade {{Stalin}}, have instructed me to make the following announcement:\\

to:

->''"Citizens of the Soviet Union! The Soviet Government and its head, [[UsefulNotes/JosephStalin Comrade {{Stalin}}, Stalin]], have instructed me to make the following announcement:\\
19th Aug '16 3:18:32 PM spasskysteve
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->"Alright, let me explain: A guy with mustache like Creator/CharlieChaplin by name of Adolf Hitler took over the country of Germany thanks to the support of a group called the Nazis. (Or Narzis if you're Churchill. Or drunk. Or both.) After hosting the Olympics to mess with future ignorant protesters, the Nazis started their plan to take over all of Europe, thanks to various mad scientist plots, the [[Film/CaptainAmericaTheFirstAvenger Red Skull]], and [[Film/SchindlersList artillery shells that didn't work made by Ras's Al Ghul]], who trained his protégé Christian Bale to be a Hitler Youth by day and a [[Film/SwingKids swing kid]] [[Film/TheDarkKnightSaga dressed like a Bat by night]]. Hitler's ambitious plans to win victory using the [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Ark of the Covenant]] was thwarted by Franchise/IndianaJones, succeeding only in drawing {{Film/Hellboy}} to Earth. Franchise/WonderWoman and ComicBook/TheRocketeer tried to stop him, but soon, Hitler's forces took over most of Europe along with the Italians, whom they were allies with because Germany drew the short straw. America stayed out of it because of [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Edith]] [[Recap/StarTrekS1E28TheCityOnTheEdgeOfForever Keeler]], but luckily some drunk asshole ran her over, so in 1941, when Japan bombed Pearl Harbor [[Film/PearlHarbor despite Cuba Gooding Jr.'s best efforts]], the United States decided that ''that'' was an act of war, and not a reason to just shake our fist impotently at the sky."\\\
'''UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt:''' ''The only thing we have to fear is Franchise/{{Batman}}.''\\\
"They were almost stopped by [[Film/TheFinalCountdown Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen and their time-traveling aircraft carrier]], but were themselves stopped by [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS32E8LetsKillHitler}} all the time travelers arriving to kill Hitler ripping a hole in the space-time continuum]]. So all that happened was that Creator/KurtVonnegut had this [[Literature/SlaughterhouseFive crazy idea for a story]]. So, while Rosie the Riveter built a bunch of tanks back home, we sent {{Film/Patton}} over to Europe to tell a bunch of people to "make those sons 'o bitches die for their country", but mostly just to show off his awesome giant flag. He fought in North Africa so we could have a place for [[Literature/CatchTwentyTwo Cpt. Yossarian to launch his airstrikes]] from, until he got upset by his buddy Snowden getting taken out (not realizing that [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Snowden he's actually hiding out in Russia now]].) [[Series/DadsArmy Arthur Lowe was put in charge of defending England]] while [[Film/TheGreatEscape Steve McQueen tried to escape from a POW camp]], but stopped ''just'' short of the Swiss border because [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic the Von Trapps had gotten there first]], and Richard Attenborough only succeeded in [[JurassicPark a plan to house cloned dinosaurs]] -- all while [[Series/HogansHeroes Colonel Klink]] patted himself on the back. A girl named [[Literature/TheDiaryOfAnneFrank Anne Frank]] comes into this somewhere, but I think she was rescued by [[{{Film/XMen}} a boy who had control over magnetism with his mind.]] Then they started the D-Day invasion, once [[Film/TheDirtyDozen a group of twelve angry men led by Lee Marvin]] are told [[Film/InglouriousBasterds not to shower and to invade first]] so that we can [[Film/SavingPrivateRyan send Forrest Gump to go looking for Matt Damon]]. While that's going on, [[Series/BlackSheepSquadron Robert Conrad shot down Japanese planes in the Pacific]], so to pay them back, the Japanese made Obi-Wan Kenobi [[Film/TheBridgeOnTheRiverKwai build a bridge]]. As the end draws near, Hitler [[Film/DeadSnow had dead Nazis turned into zombies]], but still Germany itself was invaded and in the end, he hid in his bunker until [[{{Film/Downfall}} the pranks of Fegelein got to be too much]] and he blew his own brains out. And Oppenheimer made a big bomb to blow up Japan, and after it was sent, the Japanese blew up the boat and [[{{Film/Jaws}} sent sharks to eat all the sailors]], so [[Film/DoctorStrangelove Slim Pickens dropped the bomb on them]], and they gave up, aaannd also... [[Film/DasBoot somewhere in there is a submarine]], I don't remember what it does exactly though. Anyway, that's what I got off Ask.com, so it's got to be true."

to:

->"Alright, let me explain: A guy with mustache like Creator/CharlieChaplin by name of Adolf Hitler took over the country of Germany thanks to the support of a group called the Nazis. (Or Narzis if you're Churchill. Or drunk. Or both.) After hosting the Olympics to mess with future ignorant protesters, the Nazis started their plan to take over all of Europe, thanks to various mad scientist plots, the [[Film/CaptainAmericaTheFirstAvenger Red Skull]], and [[Film/SchindlersList artillery shells that didn't work made by Ras's Al Ghul]], who trained his protégé Christian Bale to be a Hitler Youth by day and a [[Film/SwingKids swing kid]] [[Film/TheDarkKnightSaga dressed like a Bat by night]]. Hitler's ambitious plans to win victory using the [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Ark of the Covenant]] was thwarted by Franchise/IndianaJones, succeeding only in drawing {{Film/Hellboy}} to Earth. Franchise/WonderWoman and ComicBook/TheRocketeer tried to stop him, but soon, Hitler's forces took over most of Europe along with the Italians, whom they were allies with because Germany drew the short straw. America stayed out of it because of [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Edith]] [[Recap/StarTrekS1E28TheCityOnTheEdgeOfForever Keeler]], but luckily some drunk asshole ran her over, so in 1941, when Japan bombed Pearl Harbor [[Film/PearlHarbor despite Cuba Gooding Jr.'s best efforts]], the United States decided that ''that'' was an act of war, and not a reason to just shake our fist impotently at the sky."\\\
'''UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt:''' ''The only thing we have to fear is Franchise/{{Batman}}.''\\\
"They
"

->"They
were almost stopped by [[Film/TheFinalCountdown Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen and their time-traveling aircraft carrier]], but were themselves stopped by [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS32E8LetsKillHitler}} all the time travelers arriving to kill Hitler ripping a hole in the space-time continuum]]. So all that happened was that Creator/KurtVonnegut had this [[Literature/SlaughterhouseFive crazy idea for a story]]. So, while Rosie the Riveter built a bunch of tanks back home, we sent {{Film/Patton}} over to Europe to tell a bunch of people to "make those sons 'o bitches die for their country", but mostly just to show off his awesome giant flag. He fought in North Africa so we could have a place for [[Literature/CatchTwentyTwo Cpt. Yossarian to launch his airstrikes]] from, until he got upset by his buddy Snowden getting taken out (not realizing that [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Snowden he's actually hiding out in Russia now]].) [[Series/DadsArmy Arthur Lowe was put in charge of defending England]] while [[Film/TheGreatEscape Steve McQueen tried to escape from a POW camp]], but stopped ''just'' short of the Swiss border because [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic the Von Trapps had gotten there first]], and Richard Attenborough only succeeded in [[JurassicPark a plan to house cloned dinosaurs]] -- all while [[Series/HogansHeroes Colonel Klink]] patted himself on the back. A girl named [[Literature/TheDiaryOfAnneFrank Anne Frank]] comes into this somewhere, but I think she was rescued by [[{{Film/XMen}} a boy who had control over magnetism with his mind.]] Then they started the D-Day invasion, once [[Film/TheDirtyDozen a group of twelve angry men led by Lee Marvin]] are told [[Film/InglouriousBasterds not to shower and to invade first]] so that we can [[Film/SavingPrivateRyan send Forrest Gump to go looking for Matt Damon]]. While that's going on, [[Series/BlackSheepSquadron Robert Conrad shot down Japanese planes in the Pacific]], so to pay them back, the Japanese made Obi-Wan Kenobi [[Film/TheBridgeOnTheRiverKwai build a bridge]]. As the end draws near, Hitler [[Film/DeadSnow had dead Nazis turned into zombies]], but still Germany itself was invaded and in the end, he hid in his bunker until [[{{Film/Downfall}} the pranks of Fegelein got to be too much]] and he blew his own brains out. And Oppenheimer made a big bomb to blow up Japan, and after it was sent, the Japanese blew up the boat and [[{{Film/Jaws}} sent sharks to eat all the sailors]], so [[Film/DoctorStrangelove Slim Pickens dropped the bomb on them]], and they gave up, aaannd also... [[Film/DasBoot somewhere in there is a submarine]], I don't remember what it does exactly though. Anyway, that's what I got off Ask.com, so it's got to be true."
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