History Quotes / SwissCheeseSecurity

->''"Tell me again why they have an elaborate security system when they don't ''lock'' anything?"''
-->--'''Mike Nelson''' riffing on ''Film/{{Hobgoblins}}'', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''

-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Splatoon}}''

->TheNarrator: Like every icon of every great economic power, Fredward was well protected. He lived in a grand fortress, above the Law, where no man dare enter without an invitation. It was because of this that no security system was maintained, making it possible for Stingray Sam and the Quasar Kid to gain entrance.

-->''Film/StingraySam''

-->-- Sean Locke, ''Series/EightOutOfTenCats''

-> I reckon you could walk up to [[UsefulNotes/TheMenOfDowningStreet Gordon Brown]], pull his trousers open, and pour custard down there. And after about a minute, the Special Services would go, "Actually, that's enough custard. He's the prime minister. It's coming out on his shoes, for Christ's sake. Have a bit of respect."

->''"Needless to say, as is always the case in these situations, the holodeck safeties are off, communications are dead, Level Ten forcefields have been erected around our position, helm control has been compromised, Voyager's main processor will no longer accept Janeway's command access codes, and the replicators will only produce lukewarm coffee!"''

-->-- ''Film/JusticeLeague2017''

->''Annika-709 entered holding an electronic clipboard. "Doctor Zarkendorf, I have completed my review of your security measures. They are inefficient. Your guards wear [[FacelessGoons tinted visors]] and 'one-size-fits-all' outfits, enabling them to be [[DressingAsTheEnemy easily impersonated]] by an infiltrator in a [[MuggedForDisguise stolen uniform]]. Their helmets have {{no peripheral vision}} and [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy interfere with the aiming of firearms]]. You continue to use [[SurroundedByIdiots officers of proven stupidity]] in order to boost your already inflated ego. Your [[PaidHarem slave girls]] are emotionally frivolous and likely to be [[SexFaceTurn swayed in their loyalties]] by a handsome adversary. Passageways are [[EvilIsNotWellLit poorly lit]] and have [[NoPeripheralVision numerous crannies for cover and concealment]]. The [[AirVentInfiltration ventilation ducts]] are wide enough for Jabba the Hut to crawl through. Your intruder detection system is tripped by [[LaserHallway laser beams that can be seen by the naked eye]] and evaded by a sensual {{contortionist}} in a [[SensualSpandex skintight leotard]]. I have located one hundred and [[DevelopmentGag forty-seven]] [[SecretUndergroundPassage concealed access tunnels]] you seem unaware of. Your computers use [[ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish easily-guessed passwords]] and an [[HollywoodHacking operating system that is mysteriously compatible with that of every hacker on the planet]]. The [[SelfDestructMechanism self-destruct system]] is activated by a [[BigRedButton highly-visible red button]]. And what possible reason could you have for a self-destruct system in the first place?"''

'''Thea:''' My dad's a supervillain and you left your door unlocked.
-->-- ''Series/{{Arrow}}''