History Quotes / StupidEvil

-->-- ''[[ComicBook/BatmanAndTheOutsiders Outsiders]]''

-->-- ''WebOriginal/TheFootprintOfMussolini''

->''“I can’t beat your band of heroes, true, but what if there were another eight bands also out for my blood? Ha! What are you going to do, form a line?”\\

“Ah, but being defeated was [[AllAccordingToPlan always part of my plan]]! Yet another glorious victory for the Empire.”\\

“Ah, but every palace you destroy has to be rebuilt! You’ve single-handedly pulled the Empire out of a slump, hahaha. Once again sweet victory is mine.”''

->"With this and ''[[VideoGame/ResidentEvilRevelations RERevelations]]'', we now learn that the world has an ''[[MeetTheNewBoss inexhaustible supply]]'' of cartoonishly-evil dipshits in inexplicably lofty positions of power who regard {{zombie apocalypse}}s as the sanest way to avoid potential intelligence leaks, and no-one's learnt a fucking thing! And doesn't this render all the hardships and struggles of the previous games completely pointless? If I were Chris Redfield, I'd fucking [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption give up.]] 'Well,' I'd say. 'Guess the human race is just determined to wipe itself out. Let's gather up every other ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' protagonist and found our own city on the moon!' But you just know Leon will insist on bringing his dumb friend Keith who forgets to file his tax return one year and tries to cover it up by [[HereWeGoAgain causing a zombie apocalypse."]]
-->--'''''Zero Punctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil6''

->I theorize that [[TokenEvilTeammate the halfling]] does not possess a true sentient brain, like you or I, but rather a simple, primitive 'proto-brain' that can only process two emotional reactions to people: Hate or Lust.
-->--'''[[TheSmartGuy Vaarsuvius]]''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0335.html #335]]''

->''"I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because rogues sometimes rest."''
-->-- '''Creator/AlexandreDumas''' (attributed)

->'''Seth:''' Do you know what the words "[[SoMuchForStealth low profile]]" mean? Let me tell you what low profile is '''''NOT!''''' Low profile is '''''NOT''''' taking girls hostage! It is '''''NOT''''' blowing up a gas station! It is '''''NOT''''' [[CopKiller shooting a cop]] in ''[[BoomHeadshot the fucking head]]!''\\
'''Richie''': ([[BlahBlahBlah Bitch, bitch, bitch...]])
-->--''Film/FromDuskTillDawn''

->If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This "new & improved" one is not playing with a full sack.
-->--'''Spike''', ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' ("Passion")

->'''Intendant''': Execute them! I think you'll find that [[VillainousDemotivator random and unprovoked executions]] will keep your entire workforce alert and motivated.\\
'''Garak''': I bow to your brilliance. Though I do hope your mood improves before we run out of workers.
-->--''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "Through the Looking Glass"

->...And then there's a bloke with a [[BeardOfEvil goatee]], shifty eyes, and an army of [[KillerRobot robots]] who starts off [[SixthRangerTraitor ostensibly an ally]], but is so [[ObviouslyEvil arse-wipingly obviously the villain]] that the game absent-mindedly forgets to establish that he is. After they complete their mission together, he just goes, 'BORED NOW,' and kidnaps someone for literally no reason and to nobody's surprise. Well, the reason he gives is that he wanted the heroes to come to his house and look at some stuff he's been working on. ''Fucking ring them up!'' Or just ''ask'' them, they're ''right there!'' Offer them a lift on your getaway vehicle! It's like he only knows how to get things done in an evil way. All he wants is to work with the scientist to open an ancient ruin, something the scientist seems quite willing to do. But [[DistressedDude not after he's been helicoptered to a Dracula castle in a fucking cage!]] This guy needs an intervention!
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/{{Knack}}''

->'''Prosecutor:''' Mr. Kornada performed these malicious acts with full knowledge he was circumnavigating barriers that otherwise would have stopped him.\\
'''Defense Counselor Blunt:''' Objection. Mr. Kornada. Does not possess. The levels of empathy. Necessary. To be malicious.
-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}''

->'''Black Mage''': Die, ants, die!\\
'''Thief''': Is he...\\
'''Red Mage''': He likes to have victims.\\
'''Thief''': It must take a ''tremendous'' amount of energy to be that unnecessarily creepy.
-->-- ''WebComic/EightBitTheater''

->In the final seconds of the game, Detroit's Ben Wallace went up for a shot. Ron Artest, with a 15 point lead, punched him in the back of the head. It was such a pointless gesture of violence that elsewhere, Hitler's corpse [[VillainCred shot its arm up for a high five.]]
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-athletes-who-had-more-crazy-than-talent/#ixzz33B6lIpHL "7 Athletes Who Had More Crazy Than Talent"]]

->'''Shinzon:''' Even though I'm now literally hours from death, I think I'll delay kidnapping Picard so I can [[MindRape mind-rape]] Troi. This will show the audience [[KickTheDog just how villainous I am]], in case they're totally retarded and don't get it yet.
-->--[[http://www.stardestroyer.net/Nemesis/Pictorial-2.html Adam Wong]] on ''Film/StarTrekNemesis''

->Like any corporation involved in dangerous research, it all boils down to risk versus reward for the [[Film/ResidentEvilFilmSeries Umbrella Corporation]]. In this case, [[ZombieApocalypse the risk is zombies]], and [[NightOfTheLivingMooks the reward is zombies]].
-->-- '''''Website/{{Cracked}}''''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_18643_6-evil-corporations-in-movies-with-terrible-business-plans_p2.html 6 Evil Corporations in Movies (With Terrible Business Plans)]]"

->Turns out that the Silver Samurai was just dropping in to introduce himself and tell Wolverine to stay out of his business, and look. Despite my best efforts, I’m not a supervillain. I do, however, have to think that if someone is keeping to himself and helping to rebuild the local temple, maybe don’t teleport into the woods to try and intimidate him into doing what he is already doing. Maybe, just maybe, you just keep doing what you’re doing until that dude gets his head right and goes back to fighting racist robots in America.
-->--'''Chris Sims''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/the-x-men-episode-guide-4x12-lotus-and-the-steel/ on]] ''WesternAnimation/XMen'', "Lotus and the Steel"

->'''Chris:''' Why erase his memory ''now''? He is like 100% on Stryker’s side at this point and they just made him [[{{ComicBook/Wolverine}} an indestructible killing machine]]. Why not at least get a few missions out of him, or at least wait until [[ExactEavesdropping he’s out of the room]] to be like “Man, we totally f***ed '''''that''''' guy over, am I right? High fives!”\\
'''Matt:''' Stryker’s so fickle. He’s like a kid who gets bored with his toys the minute after he unwraps them.
-->--''[=ComicsAlliance=]'' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-x-men-origins-wolverine-2009-part-o/ on]] ''Film/XMenOriginsWolverine''

->Is this really something you want to do to a guy recovering from eye surgery that’s the key to your whole evil scheme? ...Bond climbs out of bed to investigate, and somehow, he can look out of his window and see directly into Jack’s room, where Jack is hilariously [[TortureFirstAskQuestionsLater getting the ever-loving snot beat out of him]], with Fatima pounding his head against the wall.
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Film/NeverSayNeverAgain''

->Shaye has a gang of people that helped him escape and, like John [=McClane=], (Howie) Long’s character [[DieHardOnAnX has to take on each member]]. At least, that is how it is SUPPOSED to go. In ''Firestorm'', Shaye picks off members of his own gang one by one. He does this so that he gets all the money and doesn’t have to split it. Now while that idea makes sense for the greedy villain, it is absolutely moronic that you would do that while Long is still hassling you. Couldn’t you, oh I don’t know, wait until he is dead and then kill your gang for the cash? I mean to use ''Die Hard'' as an example again, what kind of a movie would it be if John just chilled out in the air ducts until Hans killed off his whole gang and then had a showdown with him? It doesn’t really make John come off as a badass. Prudent? Yes. Badass? No.
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/04/26/firestorm-1998-dean-semler/ on]] ''Firestorm'' (1998)

->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee:]]''' See, that's what I don't get: I mean, certainly you kidnap someone so you have some leverage on them. If Haggar's closing in on them — beating up all their men and ''stabbing them with knives'' — why don't they just [[IHaveYourWife threaten to kill Jessica]] unless he stops?\\
'''Gabriel:''' They don't understand crime. This is that kind of 80's/early 90s thing, where criminals did it for the fun of it. They weren't doing it for money or gain or anything, it was just, "[[ForTheEvulz I like crime]], arrr!"\\
'''Yahtzee:''' The punks who threaten Arnie at the start of ''[[Film/TheTerminator Terminator]]'', those sorts of guys.\\
'''Gabriel:''' Like that, but organized somehow, and more of them.\\
'''Yahtzee:''' Just for the love of crime!\\
'''Gabriel:''' It's performance art, basically.
-->-- ''LetsPlay/LetsDrownOut'' ''VideoGame/FinalFight''

->Starling can not only project [[IntangibleMan the Doctor]] into his office, but also has enough programming abilities to torture him for information. Wow. With that kinda hacking ability, you'd think he could reprogram the Doctor to be ''helpful''. But that's a lot less evil than torturing him so, y'know, [[TortureFirstAskQuestionsLater no-brainer there]]. Plus, I mean, a physician with medical knowledge centuries more advanced? I think [[CutLexLuthorACheck you could probably make a few bucks]], since you'd now have the cure for, well, ''everything''. But it's that or the torture, come on.
-->-- '''Website/SFDebris''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Future's End Pt. 2"

->The evil I can tolerate. But the ''stupidity''!
-->--'''Professor Farnsworth''', ''{{WesternAnimation/Futurama}}''

->Like any corporation involved in dangerous research, it all boils down to risk versus reward for the [[Film/ResidentEvil Umbrella Corporation]]. In this case, [[ZombieApocalypse the risk is zombies]], and [[NightOfTheLivingMooks the reward is zombies]].

-->-- ''WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall'' on the {{Elseworlds}} comic ''Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham'''s version of Batman

->Starling can not only project [[IntangibleMan the Doctor]] into his office, but also has enough programming abilities to torture him for information. Wow. With that kinda hacking ability, you'd think he could reprogram the Doctor to be ''helpful''. But that's a lot less evil than torturing him so, y'know, [[TortureFirstAskQuestionsLater no-brainer there.]] Plus, I mean, a physician with medical knowledge centuries more advanced? I think [[CutLexLuthorACheck you could probably make a few bucks]], since you'd now have the cure for, well, ''everything''. But it's that or the torture, come on.

->''[[UsefulNotes/TheGreatComicsCrashOf1996 The bursting of the comics bubble]] and Creator/{{Marvel|Comics}}'s response, which combined the evil of [[StarWars Darth Vader]] with the coordination of Creator/LaurelAndHardy, led to a period that put the very existence of the industry in question — not to mention that of Marvel itself.''
-->-- '''WebSite/SFDebris''', ''The Rise and Fall of the Comic Empire'', Part 13: "Evolve or Die"

->So threatening people to give you blackmail material or else you'll spread exactly what you're asking them to give you. Which you would doubtlessly spread around anyways if you had it. With no actual promises not to keep harassing them with the very thing you're trying to extort as leverage.

->So asking people to do all the work of you being a dick to them to spare you the effort, to their own detriment, in defiance of all sense, and already showing off your incompetence as a criminal. And then threatening third rate college movie antics. And not expecting it to bite you on the ass because just like said bargain bin rejects of a dead genre and the porn you fished out of a dumpster behind a disreputable adult store when they couldn't sell which you base your entire perception of reality on your thought processes don't take place in the real world.

->... This isn't your every day stupid, this is advanced stupid.
-->--'''Passerby''' on incels, [[https://fstdt.com/F6L_Z6TGCVNH3#84067 Fundies Say the Darndest Things]]

->You ask me, [[ReligionOfEvil the Sabbat]] makes no sense. They couldn't care less about TheMasquerade, and [[TooDumbToLive they seem to care even less about themselves]]. It's like, "Hey! [[CardCarryingVillain Let's all spread Hell on Earth]] so [[EvilIsCool we can feel big and bad]] and— [[DeconstructedTrope oops! I'm dead! How did that happen?]]"

->'''Zim''': I blew up more than all the other invaders!\\
'''Tallest Red''': You ''[[MetaphoricallyTrue blew up]]'' all the other invaders.

->...And then there's a bloke with a [[BeardOfEvil goatee]], shifty eyes, and an army of [[KillerRobot robots]] who starts off [[SixthRangerTraitor ostensibly an ally]], but is so [[ObviouslyEvil arse-wipingly obviously the villain]] that the game absent-mindedly forgets to establish that he is. After they complete their mission together, he just goes, 'BORED NOW,' and kidnaps someone for literally no reason and to nobody's surprise. Well, the reason he gives is that he wanted the heroes to come to his house and look at some stuff he's been working on. ''[[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot Fucking ring them up!]]'' Or just ''ask'' them, they're ''right there!'' Offer them a lift on your getaway vehicle! It's like he only knows how to get things done in an evil way. All he wants is to work with the scientist to open an ancient ruin, something the scientist seems quite willing to do. But [[DistressedDude not after he's been helicoptered to a Dracula castle in a fucking cage!]] This guy needs an intervention!

->"With this and ''[[VideoGame/ResidentEvilRevelations RERevelations]]'', we now learn that the world has an ''[[MeetTheNewBoss inexhaustible supply]]'' of cartoonishly-evil dipshits in inexplicably lofty positions of power who regard {{zombie apocalypse}}s as the sanest way to avoid potential intelligence leaks, and no-one's learnt a fucking thing! And doesn't this render all the hardships and struggles of the previous games completely pointless? If I were Chris Redfield, I'd fucking give up. 'Well,' I'd say. 'Guess the human race is just determined to wipe itself out. Let's gather up every other ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' protagonist and found our own city on the moon!' But you just know Leon will insist on bringing his dumb friend Keith who forgets to file his tax return one year and tries to cover it up by causing a zombie apocalypse."

->"With this and ''[[VideoGame/ResidentEvilRevelations RERevelations]]'', we now learn that the world has an ''inexhaustible supply'' of cartoonishly-evil dipshits in inexplicably lofty positions of power who regard {{zombie apocalypse}}s as the sanest way to avoid potential intelligence leaks, and no-one's learnt a fucking thing! And doesn't this render all the hardships and struggles of the previous games completely pointless? If I were Chris Redfield, I'd fucking give up. 'Well,' I'd say. 'Guess the human race is just determined to wipe itself out. Let's gather up every other ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' protagonist and found our own city on the moon!' But you just know Leon will insist on bringing his dumb friend Keith who forgets to file his tax return one year and tries to cover it up by causing a zombie apocalypse."

->...And then there's a bloke with a [[BeardOfEvil goatee]], shifty eyes, and an army of [[KillerRobot robots]] who starts off [[SixthRangerTraitor ostensibly an ally]], but is so [[ObviouslyEvil arse-wipingly obviously the villain]] that the game absent-mindedly forgets to establish that he is. After they complete their mission together, he just goes, 'BORED NOW,' and kidnaps someone for literally no reason and to nobody's surprise. Well, the reason he gives is that he wanted the heroes to come to his house and look at some stuff he's been working on. '''[[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot Fucking ring them up!]]''' Or just ''ask'' them, they're '''right there!''' Offer them a lift on your getaway vehicle! It's like he only knows how to get things done in an evil way. All he wants is to work with the scientist to open an ancient ruin, something the scientist seems quite willing to do. But [[DistressedDude not after he's been helicoptered to a Dracula castle in a fucking cage!]] This guy needs an intervention!

-->-- '''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/AliensColonialMarines''

->...My unofficial subtitle for ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil4'' is "the only good one" because that was the only one that seemed 100% aware of how fucking stupid the central premise is. Which is that unleashing [[BioweaponBeast giant feral slime monsters]] in populated areas is considered a flawless assassination/terrorism/[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking home security]] solution, to the point that inexplicably wealthy Saturday-morning cartoon villains are queuing up to invest. I want to go to the universe of Resident Evil and introduce everyone to the concept of a [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot really big bomb]]. No cleaning up piles of snot, no plucky survivors out to foil your retarded evil schemes, no [[GoneHorriblyWrong getting eaten by close friends and family members you mutated against their will]] because you needed test subjects and have some kind of blind spot for [[DisposableVagrant homeless people]], you just ''[[WhyDontYouJustShootHim drop it and everyone dies!!]]'' I'd make a fucking ''packet''!!
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil6'' and the series as a whole.

->''"Are psychotic urges all that drive you?"''

-->--''[[Literature/GotrekAndFelix Road Of Skulls]]

->...My unofficial subtitle for ''Videogame/ResidentEvil4'' is "the only good one" because that was the only one that seemed 100% aware of how fucking stupid the central premise is. Which is that unleashing [[BioweaponBeast giant feral slime monsters]] in populated areas is considered a flawless assassination/terrorism/[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking home security]] solution, to the point that inexplicably wealthy Saturday-morning cartoon villains are queuing up to invest. I want to go to the universe of Resident Evil and introduce everyone to the concept of a [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot really big bomb]]. No cleaning up piles of snot, no plucky survivors out to foil your retarded evil schemes, no [[GoneHorriblyWrong getting eaten by close friends and family members you mutated against their will]] because you needed test subjects and have some kind of blind spot for [[DisposableVagrant homeless people]], you just ''[[WhyDontYouJustShootHim drop it and everyone dies!!]]'' I'd make a fucking ''packet''!!

-->-- ''' ''1d4Chan ''' [[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Iron_Warriors on the Iron Warriors]]''

->''"All they know is how to hurt and destroy and kill. Admirable when you need someone hurt, destroyed or killed, but what about the times when you just want them to sit down and shut up? Oh, FORGET that. 'I wanna go to Earth.' 'I want to kill my old girlfriend.' 'I want to eat my family's flesh and drink their marrow.' 'I want to blow up my school.' '[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking I want to anally penetrate my kindergarten teacher]].'"''

->You ask me, [[ReligionOfEvil the Sabbat]] makes no sense. They couldn't care less about TheMasquerade, and [[TooDumbToLive they seem to care even less about themselves]]. It's like, "Hey! [[CardCarryingVillain Let's all spread Hell on Earth]] so [[EvilIsCool we can feel big and bad]] and— [[RealityEnsues oops! I'm dead! How did that happen?]]"

->[Hrolf Wyrdulf] and his mount sat a few miles from the keep, in a rough camp that Canto had insisted they set up. Hrolf saw little need for a camp; if men suffered in the weather, then they would take the walls all the quicker. The camp was by the river, ‘close to a water source’ as Canto said. Why they needed water when blood was readily available, Hrolf didn’t know.

-->-- '''[[https://prokopetz.tumblr.com/post/188289843717/i-think-my-favourite-take-on-the-dichotomy-between David J Prokopetz]]