History Quotes / StrictlyFormula

-->-- ''Wiki/{{Uncyclopedia}}''

->"With the [[CasperTheFriendlyGhost Casper]] series, you never knew what picture you were working on, because they were all exactly the same."

->"With the [[CasperTheFriendlyGhost]] Casper series, you never knew what picture you were working on, because they were all exactly the same."

->"In one of the behind-the-scenes featurettes, the developers flat out admit that they think up the spectacular set pieces ''first'' and then [[NoPlotNoProblem come up with the plot around them]], and by Christ, does it show, because these games are getting as formulaic as a ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDoo'' episode. Who wants to bet the lost treasure at the end will turn out to have been ''[[SealedEvilInACan deliberately]]'' lost because there's some negative effect surrounding it that the bad guys want to weaponize? And that Drake will pull off the main villain's face and it'll turn out to be Old Man Withers!"

->''Most cartoon features begin on the plot set-up, usually a revelation of the villain (or villainess) and their plan (usually take over a kingdom, or kill a rival, or get rich or a combination of all three) then establish your hero or heroine, usually a [[UnluckyEverydude likable loser]] if male (WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}}, the guys in ''WesternAnimation/TreasurePlanet'' or ''[[WesternAnimation/AtlantisTheLostEmpire Atlantis]]'', [[WesternAnimation/KungFuPanda that dumb panda]] that's already showing up everywhere), a [[ManicPixieDreamGirl comically-scattered, sweet, smart, ugly duckling type]] if female ([[WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast Belle]], WesternAnimation/{{Anastasia}}, the girl in ''Film/{{Enchanted}}'') and the obligatory [[GreekChorus wacky sidekicks]], always one, sometimes as many as three ([[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 Flounder, Scuttle]], [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 Timon, Pumba]], monkey, flying rug, etc., etc.). The villain also usually has a sidekick, either the [[NumberTwoForBrains bungling nincompoop type]] ([[WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove Kronk]]) or the [[SmugSnake loudmouthed asshole]] (Iago) or very rarely, some actually sort of threatening creatures (the hyenas in "Lion King."). The screen action lumps along for 80 minutes or so, consisting of initial skirmishes between hero and villain, the set-up of the traditional hero/heroine love story (these days they usually [[MeetCute hate each other at first sight]], snark back and forth until the end, then inexplicably fall into each other's arms), [[IWantSong songs that explain what the hero, the villain and the heroine each want]], [[ToiletHumor a vomit and/or fart joke]] or two from the sidekicks, and action sequences designed to pad out what could usually be a story told in 10 minutes. Your primary objective as a modern animation feature storyteller is to get the audience members emotionally charged (i.e., distracted from logic gaps and not thinking too much) so they will be ready for your big finale.''

-->-- ''[[https://them0vieblog.com/2016/06/02/star-trek-enterprise-these-are-the-voyages-review/ Darren Mooney]]'' on ''Star Trek: Enterprise'', "[[Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS04E22TheseAreTheVoyages These Are the Voyages]]"

[[folder:Web Comics]]

-->-- '''WebVideo/ConfusedMatthew''' on ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy''

->"I mean, there's already a pattern to this whole thing. [[MadScientist You]] get this big idea to [[TakeOverTheWorld conquer the world and/or universe]]; you invent some crazy new contraption, or find a way to harness alien technology, cosmic energy, or some ancient Aztec whatever; I show up to try and stop you, sometimes bringing my friends along, even make new ones; we fight, [[StuffBlowingUp big explosions]]; then when you and I go at it, [[EvilIsNotAToy whatever you've been messing around with proves to be too much for you to handle]] and ends up unleashing some kind of [[EldritchAbomination giant Lovecraftian monster]] or something that threatens to destroy the world and/or universe, and I gotta bust out the [[MineralMacGuffin Chaos Emeralds]] and [[GoldenSuperMode go gold]] to clean the mess you made, [[EnemyMine sometimes you even help out]]; then we get the [[FinalBoss big explosive finale]] and [[VillainExitStageLeft you run off]] shouting something like '[[WeWillMeetAgain I'll be back]], Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog', and we get a couple months off before we do the same thing all over again. Did I miss something?"

->"I mean, there's already a pattern to this whole thing. You get this big idea to [[TakeOverTheWorld conquer the world and/or universe]]; you invent some crazy new contraption, or find a way to harness alien technology, cosmic energy, or some ancient Aztec whatever; I show up to try and stop you, sometimes bringing my friends along, even make new ones; we fight, [[StuffBlowingUp big explosions]]; then when you and I go at it, [[EvilIsNotAToy whatever you've been messing around with proves to be too much for you to handle]] and ends up unleashing some kind of giant Lovecraftian monster or something that threatens to destroy the world and/or universe, and I gotta bust out the [[MineralMacGuffin Chaos Emeralds]] and [[SuperMode go gold]] to clean the mess you made, [[EnemyMine sometimes you even help out]]; then we get the big explosive finale and you run off shouting something like '[[WeWillMeetAgain I'll be back]], Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog', and we get a couple months off before we do the same thing all over again. Did I miss something?"

''(Jack draws sword and runs at Aku, screaming)''\\

''(Jack stares after Aku, then rubs chin in thought)''\\

-->-- '''Paul Mavis''' [[http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/54055/adam-12-season-seven/ on]] ''Series/AdamTwelve''

-->--''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' on ''{{VideoGame/Splatoon}}''

-->--'''Dr. El Sandifer''' [[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/06/i-was-beginning-to-fear-you-had-lost.html on]] Pip and Jane Baker, [[Recap/DoctorWhoS23E1TheMysteriousPlanet "The Mysterious Planet"]]

->''The first episode of ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}'' that aired on network TV was episode #42, "The Problem with Paras." There are over 700 Pokemon episodes in existence now, so you might not remember this particular one. It's the one where they go somewhere and meet a Pokèmon with a problem, and the gang tries to solve that problem, and Team Rocket tries to mess it up. It's that one.''

->'''Jerry:''' Y'know, this is like that ''Twilight Zone'' where the guy wakes up, and ''he's'' the same, and everybody else is different!\\

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "When Aliens Attack"

->Film/SurvivalOfTheDead'' scared me, and not in the good way. Every time I would pass it in my Blockbuster (and yes, I still go to an actual Blockbuster store) I almost flinch as if [[SuckinessIsPainful the box will give me some electroshock]] if I picked it up. ''Film/DiaryOfTheDead'' was so atrocious and showed how far [[Creator/GeorgeRomero Romero]] had fallen that I honestly did not want to see him [[FranchiseZombie fall any lower]]. It is not about seeing ''Survival'' and being pissed off, I didn’t want to watch it and be depressed.''

->''If you’re like me, you might be suffering from [[Creator/JuddApatow Apatow]] fatigue. But in 2007, Apatow was still conquering the world of comedic [[ManChild man-children]] and the hot women who [[KavorkaMan inexplicably love them.]]''

->''Three of [[Creator/IanFleming Mr. Fleming’s]] favourite situations are about to come up one after the other. Bond is to be [[NoMisterBondIExpectYouToDIne wined and dined]], [[BondVillainStupidity lectured]] on the aesthetics of power, and finally [[JamesBondage tortured]] by his chief enemy.''

-->--'''Barry Shitpeas''' on ''Series/TheThreeMusketeers'', ''Creator/CharlieBrooker's Weekly Wipe''

-->-- '''Robert Beltran''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''

->"The reason that we ended up doing so many rehashes of episodes was there was a point where Brannon -- whether he was [[ArtistDisillusionment tired]], or it was just the pressure of trying to get the show done -- was not really willing to hear a variety of ideas. He would hone in on a story. Somebody would pitch a story, and then all of a sudden we’re breaking a story that’s very similar to a ''[[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine Deep Space Nine]]'' or a ''Voyager''...because -- quite rightly -- they’d had success doing the characters the way they’d been doing them, and really getting into real conflict with our characters was not something Rick and Brannon were interested in."
-->-- '''David A. Goodman''' on ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise Uncharted Territory''

-->-- ''Website/TheAgonyBooth'' on ''Star Trek: Voyager'', "Threshold"

-->-- ''[[https://them0vieblog.com/2016/06/02/star-trek-enterprise-these-are-the-voyages-review/ Darren Mooney]]'' on the supposed DistantFinale to ''Star Trek: Enterprise''

-->--'''Dr. El Sandifer''' [[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/06/i-was-beginning-to-fear-you-had-lost.html on]] Pip and Jane Baker, [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS23E1TheMysteriousPlanet}} "The Mysterious Planet"]]

-->-- '''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/the-x-files-season-four_17.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/TheXFiles'', "Synchrony"

->"''Tom & Jerry'' is about as uninspired a cartoon series as was ever created. It's pure generic cartoon thinking of the time. What is a cartoon? Uh... it's where a cat chases a mouse and there is [[AmusingInjuries lots of hurt]] and noise and mayhem. It's hard to be more basic than that, so [[Creator/HannaBarbera Bill and Joe]] didn't fix something that wasn't broken for 15 or 16 years."

->''Creator/StevenSeagal staked his ponytail on the cultural donkey with ''Film/AboveTheLaw'', his film debut that hit theatres two months after ''{{Film/Bloodsport}}''. It set the tone for what was to come, as well as nailing on the trademarked three-word title structure of his many direct-to-video acts of tedium. ''Film/DrivenToKill'', ''Film/MarkedForDeath'', ''Film/HardToKill'', ''Film/TodayYouDie''; but even the best Seagal movie is ''Hard to Watch.

->'''Musty''': It's Team Rockhead, of course! They show up EVERY episode!\\
'''Ass''': Yes, but they usually show up six minutes into the show! This time, they didn't show up until six minutes and twenty seconds!
-->-- ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'' parody of ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}''

->''On the one hand they insist that they don't want to patronize the audience and want to leave things for them to figure out. On the other, when [[Creator/ChrisChibnall Chibnall]] complains that the story was cliched monsters and corridors stuff, Jane Baker rather icily notes that she thought ''Series/DoctorWho'' fans liked traditional stuff. There's something really unsettling about this. It's difficult to see how feeding ''Doctor Who'' fans a steady diet of generic and traditional adventures could be called challenging. Indeed, 'here's the same thing you've been enjoying for decades done with no changes' seems the very definition of patronizing television.''

->"Some {{crime show}}. You don't know any of the characters, but you still pay attention to the plot. Abortion doctor [[VictimOfTheWeek murdered]]. The Christian fanatic is [[RedHerring too obvious a suspect]]. Maybe it's the doctor's wife. Maybe it's his brother; they were professional rivals, and the deceased just won an award. (What does an abortionist win an award ''for'', anyway?) The cop's partner wants him to do something about [[CowboyCop his anger issues]]. Isn't that always the way?''

->''Tarzan is always [[TapOnTheHead knocked on the head]] and taken captive; he [[TheGuardsMustBeCrazy always escapes]]; there is always [[TheChiefsDaughter a beautiful princess or high priestess]] who loves him and assists him; there is always a loyal friend who fights beside him, very much in the [[Literature/MobyDick Queenpeg]] tradition... But no matter how difficult the adventure, Tarzan, [[GotMeDoingIt clad only in a loincloth with no weapon save a knife]] (the style is comforting to imitate), wins against all odds and returns to [[TokenRomance his shadowy wife.]]''