History Quotes / RedVsBlue

->'''Caboose:''' Church?\\
'''Church:''' Yeah?\\
'''Caboose:''' [[BookEnds You ever wonder why we're here?]]\\
'''Church:''' You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that's happened to me, you know what I've learned? Its not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. You should hate someone because they're an [[{{Jerkass}} asshole]][[note]]Church[[/note]], or a [[{{AnythingThatMoves}} pervert]][[note]]Tucker[[/note]], or [[{{TheDandy}} snob]][[note]]Donut[[/note]], or they're [[{{LazyBum}} lazy]][[note]]Grif[[/note]], or [[{{DrillSergeantNasty}} arrogant]][[note]]Sarge[[/note]] or an [[{{LethallyStupid}} idiot]][[note]]Caboose[[/note]] or [[{{InsufferableGenius}} know-it-all]][[note]]Simmons[[/note]]. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or because they're Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they're a complete and total fucking ''douchebag.''\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Caboose:''' [[NotActuallyTheUltimateQuestion ...I meant why are we up here in the sun, when we could be standing down there in the shade?]]\\
'''Church:''' ...''Oh.'' Yeah, okay, let's go stand in the shade.
--> "Episode 100: Why Were We Here?", Season 5.

'''Sarge''': [[TheStarscream You say you wanna be in charge!]] They would have given you your own squad a dozen times over! You know it, and ''I'' know it. But you're still ''here''. And you, Tucker! [[ICantBelieveImSayingThis As much as I hate to admit it,]] [[BadassNormal you're actually good at being a soldier!]]\\

'''Sarge:''' [[LovableSexManiac I know you like to make yer' rude comments and pretend like it doesn't matter!]] [[TheChosenOne But an entire alien race chose to make you their hero!]] So why are ''you'' here? And [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Caboose...]] Uh, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers it's good to see you?]]\\
'''Caboose:''' Thanks! [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall I'm really enjoying the whole speech so far!]]\\
'''Sarge''': [[AllTheOtherReindeer Maybe you're all here because this is the only place you fit in. Maybe you're here because you don't have anywhere else to go.]] Maybe you're all here because, deep down, you want to be here. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here! For all we know, Tex and Church are dead. [[AsLongAsThereIsOneMan That means we're the only ones who know what's happened. The only ones who can prevent them from covering it up!]] So the way I figure it, these Freelancer guys will use us, [[WeHaveReserves take us away from our families, and send us all over the dad-gum galaxy just to test if their agents are ready for the big fight?]] [[LetsGetDangerous Well... guess I'm interested in showin' em exactly what a big fight is all about! Time to clean a slate!]] So, I'm not orderin' ya to go. I ain't even ''asking''.[[DareToBeBadass You do... what you gotta do, Private Grif.]]\\

'''Fed Gunner:''' ...Well, shit. I'll fight for that!]]

[[{{Dehumanization}} When you spend everyday fighting a war, you learn to demonize your attackers. To you, they're evil, they're sub-human.]] Because if they weren't, [[NotSoDifferent then what would that make you?]] ...What I'm ''trying'' to say... is I've been afraid to see you for what you really are. You're our brothers. Our sisters. And the things we've done to one another are ''[[ThisIsUnforgivable unforgivable.]]'' But General Doyle was able to see past that. In the end, he understood that now isn't the time for pride or anger, now is the time for ''unity.''\\

'''Sarge:''' [[SpotTheThread I didn't hear any tinkling glasses!]] Did ''you?''\\

Tucker: (sighs) [[KnowWhenToFoldEm Okay dude, I guess you got me.]] I've got nowhere to go. [[JustBetweenYouAndMe Just tell me one thing though]] - who ''are'' you really? And who sent you here?\\

->''(Sarge, Tucker, Grif, and Caboose are talking to [[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]] and are trying to convince him to [[DueToTheDead give a euology]] to [[spoiler:[=C.T.'s=] deceased mercenaries]])''\\
'''Sarge:''' Hey, [[spoiler:your circular holiness!]] How 'bout delivering the eulogy? We're buryin' most of these guys 'cause of ''you'' anyway!\\
'''[[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]]:''' Me? I only [[spoiler:[[BuffySpeak lasered]] ''one'' guy]].\\

'''[[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]]:''' (excitedly) I know it was, right?!\\
'''Caboose:''' ''So cool.'' [[spoiler:The laser ''came out of your face!'']]\\

'''[[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]]:''' No, I think it's just because [[RageBreakingPoint I got really mad.]] Hey, say something to make me angry! See if it happens again!\\

'''Caboose:''' [[spoiler:[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking You're round and you can't wear pants.]]]]\\
'''[[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]]:''' (apprehensively) [[VitriolicBestBuds ...You guys]] came up with all that ''really'' quickly.\\

'''[[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]]:''' (sadly) No, I think I'm actually kinda depressed now. Caboose is right. [[spoiler:I ''can't'' wear pants.]]\\

->''(After a recovery beacon comes in for Church at the Freelancer Offsite Facility, Sarge [[CharacterDevelopment has just told Caboose]] that he's planning on going with him to help save Tex and Church. Sarge then tries to convince [[MisfitMobilizationMoment the rest of the Reds and Blues to help them take the fight to the Freelancers]])''\\

->''([[LetsGetDangerous The Reds and Tucker]] are all charging [[TheJuggernaut the Meta]] on Sidewinder [[spoiler:[[HesBack after the latter got all of their equipment back online]]]]))''\\

->'''Sarge''': Hey Meta! Settle a bet, would you? [[spoiler:[[PreMortemOneLiner Does that thing kind of look]] [[CallBack like a big cat to you?]]]]

->[[spoiler:'''Church:''']] (to [[spoiler:Tex]]) I'm not gonna say I love you. ...[[WhamLine I'm gonna say]] [[spoiler:[[MercyKill I forget you.]]]]

%%->''(Epsilon and Carolina have finally tracked down and confronted the Director)''\\

'''Epsilon:''' (furious) I'm here to remember what you've done. ''Somebody'' has to!\\

'''Epsilon:''' (makes his holographic form resemble the Alpha's) Not all of us got off scot-free, Carolina!

->'''Epsilon-Delta''': He was ''brilliant'' -\\

'''Epsilon-Sigma''': - manipulated us for his own evil purposes! And for what?! For ''this?!'' This... shadow?!\\
'''Epsilon-Church''': He needs... to ''pay.''

->[[spoiler:'''Kimball''': [[BrutalHonesty I never believed this truce would last.]] I thought that if we managed to survive Charon it would only be a matter of time before we were back at each other's throats. I believed this because in my eyes the Federal Army of Chorus was still the enemy.]]\\
[[spoiler:[[{{Dehumanization}} When you spend everyday fighting a war, you learn to demonize your attackers. To you, they're evil, they're sub-human.]] Because if they weren't, [[NotSoDifferent then what would that make you?]] ...What I'm ''trying'' to say... is I've been afraid to see you for what you really are. You're our brothers. Our sisters. And the things we've done to one another are ''[[ThisIsUnforgivable unforgivable.]]'' But General Doyle was able to see past that. In the end, he understood that now isn't the time for pride or anger, now is the time for unity.]]\\
[[spoiler:Everyday I ask myself, "What do you fight for?", and every day I answer, "For a better tomorrow." Well, if we can’t set aside our past and start trusting one another, there won’t ''be'' a tomorrow. So please, fight with me. Fight to see Malcolm Hargrove locked away for the rest of his life! Fight to wipe [[SmugSnake that stupid grin off of Felix’s face!]] Fight because you deserve to ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] WIN!'']]\\
[[spoiler:'''Fed Gunner:''' ...Well, shit. I'll fight for that!]]

->'''Locus''': [[spoiler:[[CallBack I'm not a soldier]]. [[HeelRealization I'm a]] [[IAmAMonster monster]]. [[YouMonster Like]] ''[[YouMonster you.]]'']]

->'''Epsilon''': [[invoked]] [[spoiler:[[IUhYouToo I just want you guys to know...]] out of everyone I've ever met... [[CallBack I hate you all the least.]]]]

->[[spoiler:'''Epsilon''': There’s so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day. And because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero… never gets to see that ending. They’ll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They’ll never know if the day was really saved! In the end… they just have to have faith. [[FamousLastWords Ain't that a bitch?]]]]

->'''Tucker''': Caboose! Pull him through!\\
'''Caboose''': No, Tucker. I... I know what I need to do.\\
'''Alpha-Church''': Seriously, what the fuck is happening right now? Is there something in the water?!\\
'''Caboose''': Church...Church, there's a lot of things I never got to say...I know I won't get another chance, to say them, so: I think you're cool. Like, you're super awesome, amazing cool. I, I always felt like really awesome too, when we were...hanging out together. You know? I never really felt sad...when you died because-\\
'''Alpha-Church''': What do you mean when I died?!\\
'''Caboose''': Shh, shh, sh. I never felt sad when you died because I couldn't imagine a world without you. But I know it's real. I...I know...And I'm sad. Things...Things really are okay without you. But I now know with my other friends, who even if you add them all up together...aren't really as cool as you, I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. Go back to Heaven now, Church, and say hi to Loco when you get there. He was alright too.

->'''Vic''': Dudes! Duderettes, and duderoons! If you're hearing this message, that's because I can't get to the phone right now. It also means I had to erase my cabeza to save all the day for all y'all. You're welcome! Your old buddy Vic only has more thing to say to you dudes. [[InternalHomage Y'know, there are so many stories where some brave hero steps up and goes and gives their lives to save the day. And because of it, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer 'hooray!'. And everybody lives happily ever after.]] [[MoodWhiplash Except for Vic!]] Oh yeah, I'm out of here! Leave a message after the beep, compadres! But I won't check it, because I'm in the eternal infinity! This is 555-V-I-C-K, signing off! ...And if anybody backed me up, ''I will punch you in the nuts.''

->''Wash is talking to the rest of the Reds and Blues about what they should do after being informed of the danger presented by Chrovos to the universe by the Cosmic Powers''\\

[[spoiler:''Past!Carolina'']]: [[SmugSnake Oh. You're done?]] Okay. You got '''pretty''' talkative. No need for the lecture. [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I can read your whole, shitty life from your]] '''[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech whiny]]''' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech tone of voice.]]\\

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: Think about it! - Ever allied with someone [[spoiler:''I'' didn't need? A friend in a high place. A bolt-hole. A wingman. [[ManipulativeBastard To forget how to utilize people is to forget yourself!]] Forget '''me.''' And frankly, '''that'd''' be damning enough, but you went further. Carolina, you stripped away what comes without thought. What's instinctual. [[IdentityDenial Your]] '''[[IdentityDenial passion.]]''' [[LossOfIdentity What greater betrayal is there?]] '''[[WhamLine You're not you anymore.]]''']]

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[PreemptiveShutUp Directionless? Scared?]] ''[[ShutUpKirk No.]]'' No, actually, I... (laughs) [[SmugSnake I feel]] '''[[SmugSnake great!]]''' Weird, to hear all that from ''you'', though. Hmm, let me unpack this. [[MyGreatestFailure You've now tasted defeat]] - I'm assuming - and you were... aww, '''sad?''' (mockingly) For a '''while?''' [[LivingEmotionalCrutch And you want people around as crutches in case you]] '''[[LivingEmotionalCrutch trip]]''' [[LivingEmotionalCrutch again.]]\\

[['spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: Nothing to say for yourself? You know what, we '''should''' talk. I don't give a hot '''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]''' if this messes with the timeline. [[BrutalHonesty You need to hear this.]] [[spoiler:[[IHatePastMe I feel so much rage when I look at you. You know that?]] [[ItsAllAboutMe You prioritize yourself over everything.]] You're going to get people killed. Heck, you're going to ''kill'' people! And they won't always deserve it. [[WellDoneDaughterGirl Dad won't love you more if you keep winning.]] He '''can't.''' He died when Mom died. And you'll '''bury''' him. [[KirkSummation Your competitive streak stops. I'm]] '''[[KirkSummation demanding it.]]''']]\\

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[SmugSnake Oh. You're done?]] Okay. You got '''pretty''' talkative. No need for the lecture. [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I can read your whole, shitty life from your]] '''[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech whiny]]''' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech tone of voice.]]\\

[['spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: Nothing to say for yourself? You know what, we ''should''' talk. I don't give a hot '''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]''' if this messes with the timeline. [[BrutalHonesty You need to hear this.]] [[spoiler:[[IHatePastMe I feel so much rage when I look at you. You know that?]] [[ItsAllAboutMe You prioritize yourself over everything.]] You're going to get people killed. Heck, you're going to ''kill'' people! And they won't always deserve it. [[WellDoneDaughterGirl Dad won't love you more if you keep winning.]] He '''can't.''' He died when Mom died. And you'll '''bury''' him. [[KirkSummation Your competitive streak stops. I'm]] '''[[KirkSummation demanding it.]]''']]\\

'''Carolina:''' Listen to me, you ''bitch.'' I can only assume some fluke of time travel brought you here. But this Labyrinth ain't big enough [[spoiler:for the two of me, okay?]]\\

[[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: Nothing to say for yourself? You know what, we ''should'' talk. I don't give a hot '''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]''' if this messes with the timeline. [[BrutalHonesty You need to hear this.]] [[spoiler:[[IHatePastMe I feel so much rage when I look at you. You know that?]] [[ItsAllAboutMe You prioritize yourself over everything.]] You're going to get people killed. Heck, you're going to ''kill'' people! And they won't always deserve it. [[WellDoneDaughterGirl Dad won't love you more if you keep winning.]] He ''can't.'' He died when Mom died. And you'll '''bury''' him. [[KirkSummation Your competitive streak stops. I'm]] ''[[KirkSummation demanding it.]]'']]\\

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[SmugSnake Oh. You're done?]] (chuckles) Okay. You got ''pretty'' talkative! No need for the lecture. [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I can read your whole, shitty life from your]] ''[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech whiny]]'' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech tone of voice.]]\\

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[PreemptiveShutUp Directionless? Scared?]] ''[[ShutUpKirk No.]]'' No, actually, I... (laughs) [[SmugSnake I feel]] ''[[SmugSnake great!]]'' Weird, to hear all that from ''you'', though. Hmm, let me unpack this. [[MyGreatestFailure You've now tasted defeat]] - I'm assuming - and you were... aww, ''sad?'' (mockingly) For a ''while?'' [[LivingEmotionalCrutch And you want people around as crutches in case you]] ''[[LivingEmotionalCrutch trip]]'' [[LivingEmotionalCrutch again.]]\\

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: Think about it! - Ever allied with someone [[spoiler:''I'' didn't need? A friend in a high place. A bolt-hole. A wingman. [[ManipulativeBastard To forget how to utilize people is to forget yourself!]] Forget ''me.'' And frankly, ''that'd'' be damning enough, but you went further. Carolina, you stripped away what comes without thought. What's instinctual. [[IdentityDenial Your]] '''[[IdentityDenial passion.]]''' [[LossOfIdentity What greater betrayal is there?]] ''[[WhamLine You're not you anymore.]]'']]

[[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: Nothing to say for yourself? You know what, we ''should'' talk. I don't give a hot '''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]''' if this messes with the timeline. [[BrutalHonesty You need to hear this.]] [[spoiler:[[IHatePastMe I feel so much rage when I look at you. You know that?]] [[ItsAllAboutMe You prioritize yourself over everything.]] You're going to get people killed. Heck, you're going to ''kill'' people! And they won't always deserve it. [[WellDoneDaughterGirl Dad won't love you more if you keep winning.]] He ''can't.'' He died when Mom died. And you'll '''bury''' him. [[KirkSummation Your competitive streak stops now. I'm]] ''[[KirkSummation demanding it.]]'']]\\

->'''Epsilon''': [[invoked]] [[spoiler:[[IUhYouTo I just want you guys to know...]] out of everyone I've ever met... [[CallBack I hate you all the least.]]]]

'''Sarge''': [[AllTheOtherReindeer Maybe you're all here because this is the only place you fit in. Maybe you're here because you don't have anywhere else to go.]] Maybe you're all here because, deep down, you want to be here. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here! For all we know, Tex and Church are dead. [[AsLongAsThereIsOneMan That means we're the only ones who know what's happened. The only ones who can prevent them from covering it up!]] So the way I figure it, these Freelancer guys will use us, [[WeHaveReserves take us away from our families, and send us all over the dad-gum galaxy just to test if their agents are ready for the big fight?]] [[LetsGetDangerous Well... guess I'm interested in showin' em exactly what a big fight is all about! Time to clean a slate!]] So, I'm not orderin' ya to go. I ain't even ''asking''.[[DareToBeBadass You do... what you gotta do, Private Grif.]]\\

->[[spoiler:'''Church''': (to [[spoiler:Tex]]) I'm not gonna say I love you. ...[[WhamLine I'm gonna say]] [[MercyKill I forget you.]]]]

->''(Epsilon and Carolina have finally tracked down and confronted the Director)''\\\

->'''Grif''': I'm not going, and you can't make me. You quit, remember? I don't take orders from you any more, and besides, this whole command structure thing was bullshit anyway. We all know that now.\\
'''Sarge''': I'm not tellin' you to go. I'm not even askin'.\\
'''Grif''': You're not?\\

'''Simmons''': All of us.\\
'''Sarge''': All of us will probably die. But that's not what's important. Let me ask you two a question: [[ArcWords You ever wonder why we're here]]?\\
''Grif and Simmons pause to look at each other.''\\
'''Grif''': Um... it does seem to be one of life's great mysteries.\\
'''Sarge''': No, I mean ''you''! What are ''you'' doing here? You always act like you wanna quit, but hell, you could've left whenever you wanted! No-one would have stopped ya! So why are you here? And you, Simmons!\\

'''Sarge''': You say you wanna be in charge. They would have given you your own squad a dozen times over! You know it, and I know it. But you're still ''here''. And you, Tucker! As much as I hate to admit it, you're actually good at being a soldier.\\
'''Tucker''': I am?\\
'''Sarge''': I know you like to make your rude comments, and pretend like it all doesn't matter. But an entire alien ''race'' chose you to be their hero! So why are ''you'' here? And Caboose... Uh, it's good to see you?\\
'''Caboose''': Thanks. I'm really enjoying the speech so far.\\
'''Sarge''': Maybe you're all here because this is the only place you fit in. Maybe you're here because you don't have anywhere else to go. Maybe you're all here because, deep down, you want to be here. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here! For all we know, Tex and Church are dead. That means we're the only ones who know what's happened. The only ones who can prevent them from covering it up. So the way I figure it, these Freelancer guys will use us, take us away from our families, and send us all over the dad-gum galaxy just to test if their agents are ready for the big fight! Well, guess I'm interested in showing them... exactly what a big fight is all about! Time to clean the slate! So I'm not ordering you to go. I ain't even asking. You do what you gotta do, Private Grif.\\
''([[{{Beat}} long silence]])''\\
'''Grif''': (sighs) I'll go get my car keys.

->'''Sarge''': Hey Meta! Settle a bet, would you? [[spoiler: [[PreMortemOneLiner Does that thing kind of look]] [[CallBack like a big cat to you?]]]]

->[[spoiler:'''Church''': I'm not gonna say I love you. ...[[WhamLine I'm gonna say I forget you.]]]]

->[[spoiler: '''Epsilon:''' [[CallBack Dear Chairman,]] It has come to our attention that you have declared war on the planet Chorus. We regret to inform you that this is a really ''shitty'' idea. Not only have you managed to annoy the people that you failed to kill, time and time again, you've also found a way to piss off an entire planet! Now, they may not have the best equipment and they might not be the best fighters, but as you're aware, they've been fighting for a very long time. And now that they're not fighting each other, [[EnemyMine they're more than happy to dedicate all of their time to fighting]] '''[[EnemyMine you.]]''' So dear Chairman, to you and your idiotic mercenaries, we would like to say: ''[[BringIt Bring it on, motherfuckers]]''. [[BadassBoast We're not going]] ''[[BadassBoast anywhere]]''. From your friends, the incredibly badass and sexually attractive Red and Blue soldiers of Project Freelancer. P.S.: Suck our balls.]]

->'''Locus''': [[spoiler:[[IronicEcho I'm not a soldier]]. [[IAmAMonster I'm a monster]]. [[YouMonster Like you.]]]]

->[[spoiler:'''Epsilon''': There’s so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day. And because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero… never gets to see that ending. They’ll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They’ll never know if the day was really saved. In the end… they just have to have faith. [[FamousLastWords Ain't that a bitch?]]]]

->'''Vic:''' Ladies and gentlemen, Reds and Blues, chicos and chicas, it's been fun, but as an old bald British dude once said: all good things must come to an end. Y'know, I keep thinking back to this whole multiverse thing. It there's ''really'' an infinite number of parallel universes, then that means there's probably an infinite number of stories out there that still need to be told. Maybe some of them are funny. Maybe some of them are sad. Maybe some of them start off ''looking'' funny, but then totally hit you with the bait-and-switch, and get you all sad. I dunno. After all, I'm just one of an infinite number of Vics, which is exactly why I'm here. Why I've been guiding you this entire time. To open a window. To open your ''eyes'' to the truth. As long as there's stories, there needs to be storytellers. And ''that'', is where ''you'' come in. Tell your story, dude or dudettes! It could be one in a billion others, but it'll be yours. Make it about the Reds. Make it about the Blues. Heck, make it about some other group of soldiers that no one ever heard about until ''you'' told them. Show us villains that tell themselves they're heroes. Build entire worlds brick by brick! Teach the galaxy about friendship! But whatever you do, ''don't. Stop.'' Because a universe without stories... well, that's just empty space, amigo.

->'''Church:''' You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that's happened to me, you know what I've learned? Its not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. You should hate someone because they're an [[{{Jerkass}} asshole]], or a [[{{AnythingThatMoves}} pervert]], or [[{{TheDandy}} snob]], or they're [[{{LazyBum}} lazy]], or [[{{DrillSergeantNasty}} arrogant]] or an [[{{LethallyStupid}} idiot]] or [[{{InsufferableGenius}} know-it-all]]. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or because they're Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they're a complete and total fucking douchebag.

->'''Washington:''' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall How do you ever get anything done if all you ever do is argue with each other?!]]\\

'''Church:''' [[ExplainExplainOhCrap ...Wait a second]] - ''[[ExplainExplainOhCrap Any]]'' [[ExplainExplainOhCrap equipment?]]\\

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[SmugSnake Oh. You're done?]] (chuckles) Okay. You got ''pretty'' talkative. No need for the lecture. [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I can read your whole, shitty life from your]] ''[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech whiny]]'' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech tone of voice.]]\\

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: Directionless? Scared? ''[[ShutUpKirk No.]]'' No, actually, I... (laughs) I feel ''great!'' Weird, to hear all that from ''you'', though. Hmm, let me unpack this. [[MyGreatestFailure You've now tasted defeat]] - I'm assuming - and you were... aww, ''sad?'' (mockingly) For a ''while?'' [[LivingEmotionalCrutch And you want people around as crutches in case you]] ''[[LivingEmotionalCrutch trip]]'' [[LivingEmotionalCrutch again.]]\\

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: Think about it! - Ever allied with someone [[spoiler:''I'' didn't need? A friend in a high place. A bolt-hole. A wingman. [[ManipulativeBastard To forget how to utilize people is to forget yourself!]] Forget ''me.'' And frankly, ''that'd'' be damning enough, but you went further. [[DesperatelyLookingForAPurposeInLife Carolina, you stripped away what comes without thought. What's instinctual.]] [[IdentityDenial Your]] '''[[IdentityDenial passion.]]''' [[LossOfIdentity What greater betrayal is there?]] ''[[WhamLine You're not you anymore.]]'']]

[[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[IgnoredEpiphany Oh. You're done?]] (chuckles) Okay. You got ''pretty'' talkative. No need for the lecture. [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I can read your whole, shitty life from your]] ''[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech whiny]]'' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech tone of voice.]]\\

''(Wash throws a frag grenade over the wall. [[EpicFail Caboose promptly throws his spike grenade right into the wall in front of both him and Wash]]. [[{{Beat}} its fuse starts to burn down very slowly]] [[RuleOfFunny for no real reason]] as both Caboose and Wash stare at it in StunnedSilence)''\\

->'''Simmons''': Do you ever wonder why we're here?
-->"Episode 1: Why Are We Here?", Season 1.

'''Donut''': Shotgun's lap!\\

-->"Episode 57: The Storm", Season 3.

->'''Church:''' You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that's happened to me, you know what I've learned? Its not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. You should hate someone because they're an [[{{Jerkass}} asshole]], or a [[{{AnythingThatMoves}} pervert]], or [[{{AmbiguouslyGay}} snob]], or they're [[{{LazyBum}} lazy]], or [[{{DrillSergeantNasty}} arrogant]] or an [[{{LethallyStupid}} idiot]] or [[{{Nerd}} know-it-all]]. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or because they're Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they're a complete and total fucking douchebag.
-->"Episode 100: Why Were We Here?", Season 5.

->'''Washington:''' How do you ever get anything done if all you ever do is argue with each other?\\
'''Church:''' We don't! That's part of our charm! Quit fucking it up!
-->"Reconstruction: Chapter 4", Season 6.

->'''Washington''':[[spoiler:Church... there's no such thing as ghosts. You're one of them. You're an AI. [[WhamLine You... are the Alpha]]]]

'''Church''': When it goes off, [[spoiler:I'll be fine. It only affects computers, remember? And I... am a motherfuckin' ghost.]]
-->"Reconstruction: Chapter 19", Season 6

The former director of Project Freelancer, [[spoiler:Dr. Leonard Church]].
-->"Reconstruction: Chapter 19", Season 6

'''Sarge''': All of us will probably die. But that's not what's important. Let me ask you two a question: [[BrickJoke You ever wonder why we're here]]?\\

'''Grif''': ''(sighs)'' I'll go get my car keys.
-->"Rally Cap", Season 8.

-> '''Sarge''': Hey Meta! Settle a bet, would you? [[spoiler: [[PreMortemOneLiner Does that thing look]] [[CallBack like a big cat to you?]]]]
--> "n+1", Season 8

--> "n+1", Season 8

--> "Hate to Say Goodbye", Season 9

->'''Delta''': He was briliant -\\
'''Theta''': - and we trusted him -\\
'''Gamma''': - but he lied to us, twisted and -\\
'''Omega''': - tortured us, and used us -\\
'''Sigma''': - manipulated us for his own evil purposes! And for what? For this? This shadow?\\
'''Epsilon''': He needs to pay.
-->"Don't Say It", Season 10

->[[spoiler: '''Epsilon:''' Dear Chairman; It has come to our attention that you have declared war on the planet Chorus. We regret to inform you that this is a really shitty idea. Not only have you managed to annoy the people that you failed to kill, time and time again, you've also found a way to piss off an entire planet. Now they may not have the best equipment and they might not be the best fighters, but as you're aware, they've been fighting for a very long time. And now that they're not fighting each other, they're more than happy to dedicate all of their time to fighting you. So dear Chairman, to you and your idiotic mercenaries, we would like to say: ''bring it on, motherfuckers''. We're not going ''anywhere''. From your friends, the incredibly badass and sexually attractive Red and Blue soldiers of Project Freelancer. P.S.: Suck our balls.]]
-->"You Know Who We Are", Season 12

->[[spoiler:'''Kimball''': I never believed this truce would last. I thought that if we managed to survive Charon it would only be a matter of time before we were back at each other's throats. I believe this because in my eyes the Federal Army of Chorus was still the enemy.\\
When you spend everyday fighting a war, you learn to demonize your attackers. To you, they're evil, they're sub-human. Because if they weren't, then what would that make you? ...What I'm trying to say... is I've been afraid to see you for what you really are. You're our brothers. Our sisters. And the things we've done to one another are unforgivable. But General Doyle was able to see past that. In the end, he understood that now isn't the time for pride or anger, now is the time for unity.\\
Everyday I ask myself, "what do you fight for", and every day I answer, "for a better tomorrow". Well, if we can’t set aside our past and start trusting one another, there won’t be a tomorrow. So please, fight with me. Fight to see Malcolm Hargrove locked away for the rest of his life! Fight to wipe that stupid grin off of Felix’s face! Fight because you deserve to ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] WIN!''\\
'''Fed Gunner:''' ...well, shit. I'll fight for that.]]
-->"All or Nothing", Season 13

->'''Locus''': [[spoiler:I'm not a [[IronicEcho soldier]]. I'm a [[IAmAMonster monster]]. [[YouMonster Like you.]]]]
-->"The End is Near", Season 13

->'''Epsilon''': [[spoiler:I just want you guys to know... out of everyone I've ever met... I hate you all the least.]]
-->"The End", Season 13

->[[spoiler:'''Epsilon''': There’s so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day. And because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero… never gets to see that ending. They’ll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They’ll never know if the day was really saved. In the end… they just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch?]]
-->"The End", Season 13.

-->"Red vs. Blue vs. Rooster Teeth", Season 14

-->"Epilogue", Season 15

->'''Tucker''': Caboose! Pull him through! -\\
'''Caboose''': No,Tucker. I... I know what I need to do. -\\
'''Church''': Seriously, what the fuck is happening right now? Is there something in the water?! -\\
'''Caboose''': Church...Church, there's a lot of things I never got to say...I know I won't get another chance, to say them, so: I think you're cool. Like, you're super awesome, amazing cool. I, I always felt like really awesome too, when we were...hanging out together. You know? I never really felt sad...when you died because- -\\
'''Church''': What do you mean when I died? -\\
'''Caboose''': Shh, shh, sh. I never felt sad when you died because I couldn't imagine a world without you. But I know it's real. I...I know...And I'm sad. Things...Things really are okay without you. But I now know with my other friends, who even if you add them all up together...aren't really as cool as you. I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. Go back to Heaven now, Church, and say hi to Loco when you get there. He was alright too. -\\
"Epilogues", Season 15


->'''Vic''': Dudes! Duderettes, and duderoons! If you're hearing this message, that's because I can't get to the phone right now. It also means I had to erase my cabeza to save all the day for all y'all. You're welcome! Your old buddy Vic only has more thing to say to you dudes. Y'know, there are so many stories where some brave hero steps up and goes and gives their lives to save the day. And because of it, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer 'hooray!'. And everybody lives happily ever after. [[MoodWhiplash Except for Vic!]] Oh yeah, I'm out of here! Leave a message after the beep, compadres! But I won't check it, because I'm in the eternal infinity! This is 555-V-I-C-K, signing off! ...And if anybody backed me up, I will punch you in the nuts.
-->"Epilogues", Season 15

->'''The Director''': Dear Chairman\\

->[[spoiler:''Leonard Church:'']] Dear Chairman,

->I am disappointed by your decision to press charges, but I am not surprised. My only hope is that the courts see the matters differently than you have. You see, I never had the chance to serve in battle, nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question; if the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? The memory of her has haunted me my entire life and more so in these last few years than I could ever have imagined. But given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself, had I only the chance.

->I know that you disagreed with my methods and that others will as well. This is beyond my control. However, I cannot imagine that any court would be able to convict me, no matter how low their opinion of my actions might be. You must understand one basic fact for all this to make sense, my dear Chairman; these AI, they all come from somewhere; they are all based on a person. Our Alpha was no exception. And while the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves. So you send your men. They won't find themselves a fight. They'll only find an old man. An old man tired, but satisfied he did his duty. An old man weary with a mind more filled with memory than it is with hope.

->Yours sincerely,

->The Former Director of Project Freelancer, [[spoiler:Dr. Leonard Church]]
-->"Reconstruction: Chapter 19, Season 6

-->"Epilogues", Season 15

->'''Vic''': Dudes! Duderettes, and duderoons! If you're hearing this message, that's because I can't get to the phone right now. It also means I had to erase my cabeza to save all the day for all y'all. You're welcome! Your old buddy Vic only has more thing to say to you dudes. Y'know, there are so many stories where some brave hero steps up and goes and gives their lives to save the day. And because of it, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer 'hooray!'. And everybody lives happily ever after. [[MoodWhiplash ''Except for Vic!'']] Oh yeah, I'm out of here! Leave a message after the beep, compadres! But I won't check it, because I'm in the eternal infinity! This is 555-V-I-C-K, signing off! ...And if anybody backed me up, I will punch you in the nuts.

-->Epilogues, Season 15

->'''Tucker''': Caboose! Pull him through!
'''Caboose''': No,Tucker. I... I know what I need to do.
'''Church''': Seriously, what the fuck is happening right now? Is there something in the water?!
'''Caboose''': Church...Church, there's a lot of things I never got to say...I know I won't get another chance, to say them, so: I think you're cool. Like, you're super awesome, amazing cool. I, I always felt like really awesome too, when we were...hanging out together. You know? I never really felt sad...when you died because-
'''Church''': What do you mean when I died?
'''Caboose''': Shh, shh, sh. I never felt sad when you died because I couldn't imagine a world without you. But I know it's real. I...I know...And I'm sad. Things...Things really are okay without you. But I now know with my other friends, who even if you add them all up together...aren't really as cool as you. I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. Go back to Heaven now, Church, and say hi to Loco when you get there. He was alright too.

->'''Vic''': Dudes! Duderettes, and duderoons! If you're hearing this message, that's because I can't get to the phone right now. It also means I had to erase my cabeza to save all the day for all y'all. You're welcome! Your old buddy Vic only has more thing to say to you dudes. Y'know, there are so many stories where some brave hero steps up and goes and gives their lives to save the day. And because of it, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer 'hooray!'. And everybody lives happily ever after. ''Except for Vic!'' Oh yeah, I'm out of here! Leave a message after the beep, compadres! But I won't check it, because I'm in the eternal infinity! This is 555-V-I-C-K, signing off! ...And if anybody backed me up, I will punch you in the nuts.
-->Epilogues

'''Caboose''': Shh, shh, sh. I never felt sad when you died because I couldn't imagine a world without you. But I know it's real. I...I know...And I'm sad. Things...Things really are okay without you. But I now know with my other friends, who even if you add them all up together...aren't really as cool as you. I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. Go back to Heaven now, Church, and say hi to Loco when you get there. He was alright too.