History Quotes / MurderIsTheBestSolution

-->-- ''[[https://www.fimfiction.net/story/429737/hinterlands Hinterlands]]''

'''Apoch''': Miss Kokoa, stand down!\\
'''Astreal''': Screw that, she ''dies!''

->'''Bitterroot''': She wouldn't let you leave, so you ''killed'' her?\\
'''Amanita''': I'm a ''necromancer''. Murder is our default method of problem-solving and it’s easy to reverse.

->'''ComicBook/CaptainAtom''': It's not gonna be any easier without ComicBook/PowerGirl.\\
'''Major Force''': We should have killed them when we had the chance.\\
'''Atom''': We do not kill people. Understand?\\
'''Force''': Is that right?

->'''Don Lope de Aguirre''': While Ursua lives you will never be safe.\\
'''Don Fernando de Guzman''': What can I do about it?\\
'''Aguirre''': Kill him!\\
'''Guzman''': While I'm Emperor, law will prevail. No killings without a trial.\\
'''Aguirre''': Try him - and then kill him!

->'''James Bonomo''': We'll figure this thing out, then we'll go get him.\\
'''Taylor Kwon''': Get him and what?\\
'''Bonomo''': Get him and take him out.\\
'''Kwon''': You mean take him in.\\
'''Bonomo''': Yeah, take him in. Whatever.

->'''Willow''': We'll find [Warren] another way.\\
'''Buffy''': And then what?\\
'''Willow''': And then we'll kill him.

->'''Wise Woman''': Three paths are open to you. Three cunning plans to cure thy ailment.\\
'''Blackadder''': Oh good.\\
'''Wise Woman''': The first is simple - kill Bob!\\
'''Blackadder''': Never!\\
'''Wise Woman''': Then try the second - kill yourself!\\
'''Blackadder''': And the third?\\
'''Wise Woman''': The third is to ensure that no-one else ever knows...\\
'''Blackadder''': Ah, that sounds more like it. How?\\
'''Wise Woman''': Kill EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!! [[EvilLaughter Mwahahahaha!]]

'''Jasmine''': That's clearly the solution. Clearly.\\
'''Mari''': The only way to handle anything is to just murder your way out of it.\\
'''Jasmine''': 'cause that always works out properly.

->'''[[{{Munchkin}} Red Mage]]''': I assume we know what is to be done now.\\
'''[[TheEvilPrince Thief]]''': Slit their throats, take their wallets, and tell [[TheArchmage Sarda]] we did the Air Orb thing.\\
'''[[OmnicidalManiac Black Mage]]''': Slit their bellies, urinate into the wounds, maybe rub in some dirt, [[CruelAndUnusualDeath and let septic shock set in]].\\
'''Red Mage''': ''Or'' we could ask them how to do the quest. Just a thought.\\
'''Black Mage''': I don't follow.\\
'''Red Mage''': Doing something that isn't psychotic, it's crazy, I know. I'm throwin' it out there.

->'''Stan''': ''That's'' how you try to throw Francine off the trail [of you killing Melinda]?! By ''killing'' her?! You know, maybe she ''should'' go to the police! At least then, she'd be safe!\\
'''Bullock''': Fine, Stan. But if you don't want her to say "[[IWarnedYou I told you so]]," there's only one option.\\
'''Stan''': There's gotta be another way.\\
'''Bullock''': There is ''none''. She can either be dead... or she can be right.

->'''Wise Woman''': Three paths are open to you. Three plans to cure thy ailment.\\

'''Wise Woman''': Kill EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!! [[EvilLaughter Mwahahahaha!]]

->Obstacles are for killing.

->So, what I propose is simple - [[NeverSayDie get rid of]] [[TopGod Harmony]].

->[[BadBoss Boss won't get off your back?]] [[HenpeckedHusband Girlfriend won't stop nagging you?]] [[HonestJohnsDealership Did that fuckstick Tiffany sell you a bullshit dagger that broke almost immediately despite that you spend almost half your goddamn Col on it?!]] Have you considered... ''Murder?''

->It's simple: [[MemeticMutation We kill the]] Franchise/{{Batman}}.

->For most of the guys, killings became accepted. Murder was the only way that everybody stayed in line. You got out of line, you got whacked; everybody knew the rules. But sometimes, even if people didn't get out of line, they got whacked. I mean, hits just became a habit for some of the guys: Guys get into arguments over nothing and before you knew it one of them was dead.

->The three of you have one solution to every problem: Murder. No key fits every lock. Someone tries to betray the High King, murder. Someone gives you a harsh look, murder. Someone disrespects you, murder. Someone ruins your laundry, murder.

->Death solves all problems — no man, no problem.

->What's the point of defeating something and not killing them?

->They always seem to say "violence is never the best option," to which I am hastily reminded of UsefulNotes/WorldWarII.

->Kill one person, and you can solve so many problems. I wonder at the possibilities.

->I am so lost right now. What is he even talking about? Never mind. Let's just kill the bandits. I'm sure it'll sort itself out.

->Look at his shit-eating grin... He knows that there is nothing you can do to him. He's bullying you and you're helpless. Kill him. Kill him now. He won't see death coming.

->MOST people don't kill, Haley! That's why there are laws against murder. It's only adventurers who think, "Hmm, how can I solve this problem? Oh, right, bloodshed!"

->As the size of [[StuffBlowingUp an explosion]] increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of resolving approaches zero... {{And that would be wrong}}.

->Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime!

->I'm sure it will all become clear once we've killed the right person.

->Look, I can name at least two or three instances in my life where I tried to work out some shit by trying to find some mutual understanding, and I can tell you, it's always faster and easier to just kill'em.

--> '''[[WebAnimation/OverlySarcasaticProductions Red]]''', RunningGag for the Medea video

'''Quagmire:''' No, Joe, it ''does'' matter what he's done! [[DomesticAbuse T-These kinds of guys]] don't change! Y-You think they ever suddenly wake up, and realize the error of their ways, and clean up their act? NO! They just keep ruining everyone's lives, and the world is better off without 'em!

-->--'''UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler to Lord Halifax in 1937

'''Jasmine''': 'cause that always works out properly.\\

->'''[[ColdSniper Boone]]:''' We're coming up on Nelson. [[PayEvilUntoEvil I'm gonna kill every Legion in there.]] I hope that's not a problem.\\

-->-- '''Half-Life''', ''VideoGame/DiscoElysium''

->I'm going to go for violence, 'cause I know that works.
-->-- '''Peggy Schroeck''', during her first ever role-playing game session, 1988

->'''Sousuke:''' Now, I know what you're thinking--"You should have just killed them al--"
->'''Kaname:''' '''''No!'''''

->'''[[ColdSniper Boone]]:''' We're coming up on Nelson. [[PayEvilUntoEvil I'm gonna kill every Legion in there.]] I hope that's not a problem.
->'''The Courier:''' No, that's not a problem. That's a solution.
->'''Boone:''' Goddamn right it is. You and me, we're just a couple of problem-solvers.

->'''Nordern:''' Is that how you win every argument, just shoot the opposition in the face?
->'''Womble:''' It's worked so far!

->''[Cartman gets his friends in a huddle after their roleplaying game ends with Butters getting a ninja star in his eye]''
->'''Cartman:''' Alright, you guys, we need to stay calm and just do the right thing. We have to kill Butters and bury him in Kyle's backyard.
->'''Stan:''' Dude, shut up!
->'''Kyle:''' [[NotSoAboveItAll I agree with Cartman!]]
->'''Stan:''' ''What?!''
->'''Kyle:''' You don't understand what my mom will do to me if she finds out I was playing with weapons!

-->-- ''{{Series/Blackadder}'', "Bells"

'''Blackadder''': Ah, that sounds more like it. How?

->[[BadBoss Boss won't get of your back?]] [[HenpeckedHusband Girlfriend won't stop nagging you?]] [[HonestJohnsDealership Did that fuckstick Tiffany sell you a bullshit dagger that broke almost immediately despite that you spend almost half your goddamn Col on it?!]] Have you considered... ''Murder?''

->Is a rookie cop getting close to uncovering your secret cabal that has spent years gradually subverting the government? Do you: a) approach him, and [[ProtagonistJourneyToVillain try to induct him into your ranks]] by carefully spoonfeeding him the ideals of your organisation; b) [[BetterLivingThroughEvil bribe him,]] by covering the medical expenses of his sickly son, thereby buying not only his silence but his loyalty; c) let him catch a know-nothing incompetent lacky, [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness purging your ranks of a fool]] while sating the rookie's sense of justice; d) distract him with a different case, then falsify information saying the previous case was solved; e) [[PragmaticVillainy use your extensive connections to cheaply transfer him somewhere else, or just fire him from the police force]]?\\\
The proper answer is: f) murder his wife and child, before torturing the rookie, and then leave him to die, but [[LeftForDead never actually check the body to make sure he's dead.]] Murder should always be used as a first resort, no matter how messy or expensive it is. Minions [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness outlived their usefulness?]] Murder. [[HeKnowsTooMuch Bystanders witnessed the murdering of your minion?]] [[LeaveNoWitnesses Murder.]] [[CrimeAfterCrime Bystanders witnessed the murdering of the other bystanders who witnessed the murdering of your minion? Murder!]] [[TheDragon Right-hand man]] point out that maybe we should ease up on the whole murder thing, because it's starting to draw attention to the ancient conspiracy? Murder.

->It's simple: We kill the Franchise/{{Batman}}.