History Quotes / LargeHam

->''There are three main types of movie nerds. One is an academic stereotype who doesn't talk much. The second is a hilarious weirdo who would be [[CoolLoser totally popular if he wasn't in a movie script]]. In ''Film/WeirdScience'', Anthony Michael Hall perfected [[TakeAThirdOption the third]]: the nerd whose sexual frustration has driven him insane. Hall performs in ''Weird Science'' like his captured family will be killed if he's not funny. He packs more manic desperation into his lines than a dry-humping seventh grader. He delivers lines in ways that would make Creator/ChristopherWalken say, "What a [--strange--] WAY to deliver your ''lines''.''

-->-- '''Chai''', ''[[VideoGame/LonelyWolfTreat Clever Fox Moxie]]''

->''There are three main types of [[{{Nerd}} movie nerds]]. One is an academic stereotype who doesn't talk much. The second is a hilarious weirdo who would be [[CoolLoser totally popular if he wasn't in a movie script]]. In ''Film/WeirdScience'', Anthony Michael Hall perfected [[TakeAThirdOption the third]]: the nerd whose sexual frustration has driven him insane. Hall performs in ''Weird Science'' like his captured family will be killed if he's not funny. He packs more manic desperation into his lines than a dry-humping seventh grader. He delivers lines in ways that would make Creator/ChristopherWalken say, "What a [--strange--] WAY to deliver your ''lines''.''

->''There are three main types of [[HollywoodNerd movie nerds]]. One is an academic stereotype who doesn't talk much. The second is a hilarious weirdo who would be [[CoolLoser totally popular if he wasn't in a movie script]]. In ''Film/WeirdScience'', Anthony Michael Hall perfected [[TakeAThirdOption the third]]: the nerd whose sexual frustration has driven him insane. Hall performs in ''Weird Science'' like his captured family will be killed if he's not funny. He packs more manic desperation into his lines than a dry-humping seventh grader. He delivers lines in ways that would make Creator/ChristopherWalken say, "What a [--strange--] WAY to deliver your ''lines''.''

->I may not be a hero, but I can '''act''' like one.

->It pays to overact.

->I am not Toph! I AM ''MELON LORD''! MUAHAHAHAHA!

-> '''The Riddler:''' For if knowledge is power, then a GOD AM *IIIIIII*! ''[pauses]'' Was that over the top? I can never tell.
-->-- ''Film/BatmanForever''



-> Now, I personally watched your screen tests, and gentlemen, from the very bottom of my bowl, let me just say that I've never seen more... [[SuddenlyShouting PATHETIC! LISTLESS! UNINSPIRED PERFORMANCES]] '''''IN MY ENTIRE OVERRIPE LIFE!!!'''''

->BLACK, YOU SAY? I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU~ AHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA

->"We have always known it would come down to this. The final battle, the Ragnarok. If I am your Midgard Serpent, and you are my Thor, then we must fight. However, no one has yet prophecied which of us will be slain, and which be slayer."

->NAY! Your chrome-plated chariot does not frighten me! Now you shall know of the power of Nightflame! And of my flame-sword!

->Sorry, I get carried away.

->"Mars is not tied to Earth. Mars is tied to war. And what better war than that of vast empires within the second Heaven? Where billions may die, billions more be enslaved, and the bloodflow which results nourishes my power with every drop. No. Earth is unnecessary. A canker in my being. When it is destroyed, only my pain will vanish. But it will not be destroyed yet."

->Other choices I can plan ahead of time? SCREAMING ALL MY LINES because I’m really intense AND THE THINGS I’M FEELING are really intense ‘cause I’M AN INTENSE ACTOR!

->Subtlety and restraint are... not among my fortes.

->'''ORDO DRAIGO PRESENT! WE WILL PROVIDE THE HAMS!'''

->The extra "H" stands for Ham-azing!

->"Yes, my '''child'''. Let the '''universe''' bear witness to your '''pain'''. '''Grieve''' the life you knew."

->Fool, you'll '''NEVER''' find a cure for them! I know... because it was '''I''' who unleashed this doom of the crimson virus on them!

->Oh, I could get sent to prison for the scenes I'm gonna steal!

->"I am the MOST laughter-giving, fun-having, friend-making pony ever! YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!"

-> I am Kairos Theodosian, Tyrant of Helike. And I say that my '''Rule''' extends even to the sky. Come servants of the heavens, the Age of Wonders is not dead yet. ''Not while I breathe''.\\

I had something for this. This tower will be your grave? No, Anaxares said that was second-rate. This isn't over yet? Oh! ''I'll get you next time, heroes''!
-->-- '''[[EvilUncle Kairos]] [[EnfanteTerrible Theodosian]], [[TheCaligula Tyrant]] of Helike,''' ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil''

->[[LampshadeHanging Would you like some eggs with that ham?]]

->FOOL! [[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} You]] think all there is to reality is what is seen? Yes – I appear young – and I may be younger still... or even be you, if I so desire!

->I'm the only sane inmate of Asylum Earth. I'm not eager to hand tomorrow over to an interplanetary extremist with laser eyes. There's only room on this world for one leader, Franchise/{{Superman}}. When I'm finished with you, every last gibbon out there will know you for the menace you are... and they'll realize that Lex Luthor is their savior.

->[[GreenRocks KRRRRRRRRRRYPTONITE!]]

->"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

->A man will not reach eloquence if he is afraid of bombast just as a man will not jump a hedge if he is afraid of falling in a ditch.

->“When in doubt, shout--that’s the motto.”
-->-- Creator/CedricHardwicke, recalling the advice of a [=19th=] century stage manager.

->''"Why, when I was your age I would spend what little idle time I had with an instructive book not that racing form I see that you're now trying to hide. Of course I was not given to late-night dissipation in the fleshpots of the District of Columbia! Oh, you can't hide your ruinous habits from me! I can see by the trembling of your hands what demon rum is doing to you…"'' The poor clerk was indeed trembling-with terror-as [[NoIndoorVoice the great voice thundered in his ears]] and Huey, particularly if an audience had now filled the lobby, would become prayerful as he invoked the lad's aged mother back in Butte, Montana. ''"I know how each night she prays for your success-on her knees, little suspecting that all those hours that should be golden with study are scarlet with vice…"'' [[CrocodileTears Tears would fill Huey's eyes on cue]] as he contemplated that little old lady who had mothered a son so reprobate.

->You need look no further than Wrestling/RandyOrton, who is a walking sleeping pill. That guy, he's going for "intense", but he's just so static. He's boring. [[AC:he talks in a monotone.]] "[[AC:[[KubrickStare josh matthews. at wrestlemania. i will be. the wee champion]].]]"\\\
YAWN. Fucking ''YAWN!'' Wrestling/RicFlair would get in front of that camera, he's like, "'''''I'M GONNA''''' '''WIN''' '''''AT WRESTLEMANIA! I WILL''''' '''BE''' '''''THE WORLD CHAMPION WOOOOO!!'''''" That's what that guy brings. You know, watching Ric Flair, that Ric Flair will ''die for your sins'' in that ring.

->This is a note to future writes of Creator/SylvesterMcCoy stories…do not give him the chance to overact under any circumstances. ‘Oh to feel the hard radiation! The solar winds brushing across me!’ he croons like some science fiction porn star.

->There are three main types of [[HollywoodNerd movie nerds]]. One is an academic stereotype who doesn't talk much. The second is a hilarious weirdo who would be [[CoolLoser totally popular if he wasn't in a movie script]]. In ''Film/WeirdScience'', Anthony Michael Hall perfected [[TakeAThirdOption the third]]: the nerd whose sexual frustration has driven him insane. Hall performs in ''Weird Science'' like his captured family will be killed if he's not funny. He packs more manic desperation into his lines than a dry-humping seventh grader. He delivers lines in ways that would make Creator/ChristopherWalken say, "What a [--strange--] WAY to deliver your ''lines''.

->I take back everything I said about [[Creator/KelseyGrammer (Kelsey) Grammar]] not being the best choice for Beast, because the way he delivers 'ORORO! CHARLES!' like a pirate captain calling for rum is the second-best thing about this movie so far.

->Imagine if you will, that Creator/GaryBusey was still getting the big roles; all Stonehenge-teeth and bellowed acronyms that [[IceCreamKoan make no sense]]; and in movies that got trailed on TV and opened big at the box office. That’s what’s happening here.

->Creator/NicolasCage approaches every role the same way -- how ''wouldn't'' a real person tackle this situation? This is often executed on camera by a series of facial spasms to shame even Creator/JimCarrey or a Creator/TexAvery cartoon, as Cage contorts and tics his way through a serious of either unrestrained emotion or unpleasant bowel turmoil.
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-celebrities-who-are-clearly-trolling-world_p2/ "4 Celebrities Who Are Clearly Trolling the World"]]

->Not for nothing, but it has to be said that Creator/MarkHamill plays grief more subtly and effectively than Creator/HaydenChristensen. Come to think of it, so does Creator/NicolasCage.
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/movies/Notes_Star_Wars_Trilogy_Part_1_A_New_Hope.aspx on]] ''Film/ANewHope''

-->-- '''Satan Girl''', ''ComicBook/{{Legion Of Super-Heroes}}''

->''"Stand aside, everyone! I take LARGE STEPS!"''
-->-- '''MilesGloriosus''', ''Theatre/AFunnyThingHappenedOnTheWayToTheForum''

->"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"
-->--'''Kamina''', ''Anime/TengenToppaGurrenLagann''

->Oh, I could get sent to prison for the scenes I'm gonna steal!
-->--'''Daffy Duck''', ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'' short "A Star is Bored"

->Sorry, I get carried away.
-->--'''Magica [=DeSpell=]''', ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales1987''

-> I am Kairos Theodosian, Tyrant of Helike. And I say that my '''Rule''' extends even to the sky. Come servants of the heavens, the Age of Wonders is not dead yet. ''Not while I breathe''.\\
-\\
I had something for this. This tower will be your grave? No, Anaxares said that was second-rate. This isn't over yet? Oh! ''I'll get you next time, heroes''!
-->-- '''[[EvilUncle Kairos]] [[EnfanteTerrible Theodosian]], [[TheCaligula Tyrant]] of Helike,''' ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil''

->I may not be a hero, but I can '''act''' like one.
-->--'''Thunderbolt''', ''WesternAnimation/OneHundredAndOneDalmatiansIIPatchsLondonAdventure''

->'''Titan:''' This town isn't big enough for two supervillains.\\
'''Megamind:''' Oh, you're a villain alright. Just not a super one!\\
'''Titan:''' Yeah? What's the difference?\\
'''Megamind:''' PRESENTATION!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Megamind}}''

->The extra "H" stands for Ham-azing!
-->-- '''Thanatos''' in ''VideoGame/KidIcarusUprising'', explaining why he changed his name from Tanatos.

->'''Finn:''' Let's keep the acting subtle. Less is more.\\
'''Lumpy Space Princess:''' NO. WAY.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime''

-> '''The Riddler:''' For if knowledge is power, then a GOD AM *IIIIIII*! ''[pauses]'' Was that over the top? I can never tell.
-->-- ''Film/BatmanForever''

->[[LampshadeHanging Would you like some eggs with that ham?]]
-->-- '''Shrek''', ''WesternAnimation/ShrekTheThird''

->'''Tim the Enchanter:''' Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valour! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so ''cruel'', that no man yet has fought with it... and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie ''strewn'' about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come nae further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth... ''[makes biting motions with his hand]'' \\
'''King Arthur:''' ''[aside]'' What an eccentric performance.
-->--''Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail''

->'''Perrish Cox''': Oh WOE IS ME. I fear I have been [[WoundedGazelleGambit MORTALLY WOUNDED]] by the viciousness of the shove I received when James Graham VIOLENTLY and ILLEGALLY threw me to the ground during our sporting endeavors which occurred just yesternoon.\\
'''Jimmy Graham''': QUIT YOUR MELODRAMATIC BULLCRAP, COX. Everyone who saw that play knows you were FAKING.\\
'''Perrish Cox''': James? Is... is that you? Good sir, I fear my injuries from the brutal pushing you gave me yesterday have worsened and I may be slipping away from this mortal coil. EVERYTHING IS GOING DARK. TELL MY FAMILY THAT I LOVE THEM.\\
'''Creator/WilliamShatner''': [[{{Irony}} Man, what a ham that guy is.]]
-->-- ''Website/NFLQuarterbacksOnFacebook: Adorable''

->'''Tito Merelli:''' ''[[BigShutUp SHUT UP!]]''\\
'''Maria Merelli:''' ''SHUT UP A-YOUSELF!''
-->-- ''Theatre/LendMeATenor''

->I'm the only sane inmate of Asylum Earth. I'm not eager to hand tomorrow over to an interplanetary extremist with laser eyes. There's only room on this world for one leader, Franchise/{{Superman}}. When I'm finished with you, every last gibbon out there will know you for the menace you are... and they'll realize that Lex Luthor is their savior.
-->-- '''ComicBook/LexLuthor''', ''ComicBook/SupermanBirthright''

->NAY! Your chrome-plated chariot does not frighten me! Now you shall know of the power of Nightflame! And of my flame-sword!
-->-- '''Nightflame''', ''ComicBook/DemonSpawn''

->FOOL! [[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} You]] think all there is to reality is what is seen? Yes – I appear young – and I may be younger still... or even be you, if I so desire!
-->-- '''Black Starr''', ''ComicBook/Supergirl1982''

->"Yes, my '''child'''. Let the '''universe''' bear witness to your '''pain'''. '''Grieve''' the life you knew."
-->-- '''Reign''', ''ComicBook/LastDaughterOfKrypton''

->BLACK, YOU SAY? I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU~ AHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA
-->-- '''Thundurus''', ''Webcomic/BlackAdventures''

->[[GreenRocks KRRRRRRRRRRYPTONITE!]]
-->-- '''ComicBook/LexLuthor''', ''Film/SuperManReturns''

->'''Kermit:''' Piggy, you’re over-acting. You’re hamming it up.\\
'''Miss Piggy:''' I am not. I am trying to save this movie.\\
'''Kermit:''' Save your performance instead.\\
'''Miss Piggy:''' I am playing 800 different emotions.\\
'''Kermit:''' Try to play one of them right.
-->-- ''Film/TheGreatMuppetCaper''

->I am not Toph! I AM ''MELON LORD''! MUAHAHAHAHA!
-->--'''Toph''' during a training exercise, ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender''

->Subtlety and restraint are... not among my fortes.
-->--'''Moondog''', ''[[FanFic/TantabusMarkII How the Tantabus Parses Sleep]]''

->"We have always known it would come down to this. The final battle, the Ragnarok. If I am your Midgard Serpent, and you are my Thor, then we must fight. However, no one has yet prophecied which of us will be slain, and which be slayer."
-->-- '''Kobra''', ''Fanfic/DanceWithTheDemons''

->'''The Acrobat:''' "I'll kill you. I'm man enough, madman enough, to kill you all! Disc or no disc, I've got the power of ten men when the moon is out, and I ought to have enough strength here to do you all in!"[...] I'll destroy you all! One by one, I'll tear your heads off and make lamps out of them! I'll use your bodies for baseball equipment! I'll–"\\
'''Midnight Maid:''' "You've been reading too many comic books."
-->-- ''Fanfic/HereThereBeMonsters''

->'''ComicBook/{{Darkseid}}:''' "I have had three prior sons, boy. Two of my body, one of my charge. But you, my fourth son...you have had advantages your forebears never knew. I left their upbringing to others. I was busy. You, I have tended to with all my attention. With all my knowledge. Do you know why, boy?"\\
'''Nemesis:''' "Because I am the greatest of the four. Because I am the one who will break our enemies like pottery shards. Because I will avenge you, my father. Avenge you, and...my mother."\\
'''Darkseid:''' "Just so. Do you... remember who undid my plans, a thousand years ago, boy? And who, not so long ago... undid your mother?"\\
'''Nemesis:''' (whispering) "The ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}."
-->-- ''Fanfic/HellsisterTrilogy''

->"Mars is not tied to Earth. Mars is tied to war. And what better war than that of vast empires within the second Heaven? Where billions may die, billions more be enslaved, and the bloodflow which results nourishes my power with every drop. No. Earth is unnecessary. A canker in my being. When it is destroyed, only my pain will vanish. But it will not be destroyed yet."
-->-- '''Mars''', ''Fanfic/AForceOfFour''

->(''upon being summoned'') "Didya ''caaaall'' me?"\\
(''using [[ShockAndAwe Blockade]]'') "'''BARBECUE TIME!'''"\\
(''using Blockade'') "[[EvilLaugh MWAHAHAHA]], '''[[PrecisionFStrike FUCK YEAH!]]'''"\\
(''using Double Check'') "OPEN UP AND SAY ''AAAAAAAAA''!"\\
(''using Round Robin'') "'''FRYYYYY''', LITTLE PIGGY!"\\
(''using [[RammingAlwaysWorks Flank Attack]]'') "COMIN' AT YA, BABY!"\\
(''taunting [[spoiler:Dante]] during their fight'') "Close your eyes, and go to sleep — '''FOREVER!'''"
-->--'''[[{{Thunderbird}} Griffon]]''', ''VideoGame/DevilMayCry5''

->''"I know he's a little over the top sometimes. It's not entirely my fault. He has a tend... he's-he's a stage actor. They say his Lear was the toast of Croydon, wherever that is. Anyway, the point is, ever since that big dude with a hammer fell out of the sky, subtlety's kinda had its day."''
-->--'''Aldrich Killian''' on '''Trevor Slattery''', ''Film/IronMan3''

->(''upon being summoned'') Didya ''caaaall'' me?\\
(''using [[ShockAndAwe Blockade]]'') '''BARBECUE TIME!'''\\
(''using Blockade'') [[EvilLaugh MWAHAHAHA]], '''FUCK YEAH!'''\\
(''using Double Check'') OPEN UP AND SAY ''AAAAAAAAA''!\\
(''using Round Robin'') '''FRYYYYY''', LITTLE PIGGY!\\
(''taunting [[spoiler:Dante]] during their fight'') Close your eyes, and go to sleep — '''FOREVER!'''
-->--'''[[FeatheredFiend Griffon]]''', ''VideoGame/DevilMayCry5''

->(''upon being summoned'') Didya ''caaaal'' me?\\