History Quotes / KnownothingKnowItAll

-->--''Literature/TheBible'', Proverbs 26:12

->''"[[LittleKnownFact Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this]]... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always [[LiquidCourage feel smarter after a few beers.]]"''

-->--''Wiki/RationalWiki'' on [=UFOlogist=] [[Creator/TheHistoryChannel Giorgios Tsoukalos]]

->''If someone has 'been around the block a few times', it may mean they didn't have enough sense to just give up and park in the lot.''

-->--[[Literature/TheBible Proverbs 26:12]]

->"[[LittleKnownFact Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this]]... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always [[LiquidCourage feel smarter after a few beers.]]"

->"You can't call yourself a 'think tank' if all your ideas are stupid."

->"Music/PaulaAbdul judging a singing contest is like Creator/ChristopherReeve judging a dance contest."

->"What's [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush Dubya]] doing now? He's a motivational speaker... It's kind of like having Creator/LindsayLohan as a guidance counselor."

->"There's a kind of notion that everyone's opinion is equally valid. My arse! A bloke who's been a professor of dentistry for 40 years doesn't have a debate with some idiot who [[BackAlleyDoctor removes his teeth with string and a door!]]"

->"Too many people have opinions on things they know nothing about. And the more ignorant they are, the more opinions they have."

->"Those who think they are all-knowing know nothing of what they do not."

->[[AC:The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.]]

->''Tsoukalos graduated from Ithaca College in Ithaca, New York in 1998 with a degree in communication and sports information. That makes him uniquely qualified to speak on matters concerning the movie ''Film/JerryMaguire'', but not so much regarding anything else.''
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on [=UFOlogist=] [[Creator/TheHistoryChannel Giorgios Tsoukalos]]

-->--'''''Website/TheOnion''''', [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/my-doctor-told-me-i-should-vaccinate-my-children-t-653 "My Doctor Told Me I Should Vaccinate My Children, But Then Someone Much Louder Than My Doctor Told Me I Shouldn’t"]]

->''"Trump University" is proof that you can't [[LogicBomb make words explode]], no matter how violently you combine opposites. UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump can lose money in a casino when he owns it. He doesn't learn from his mistakes, he bankrupts or sues them, and the only thing he can teach people is that they shouldn't have given him their money, a lesson his educational dialysis facility taught well.''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-why-donald-trump-biggest-troll-alive/#ixzz2zTxjuuCo "5 Reasons Why Donald Trump Is the Biggest Troll Alive"]]

-->--'''Namco Tales Wiki'''

->"I don't need any serving suggestions from ''you'', you barbecue-wrecking, ''[[TropeNamers/TheSimpsons know-nothing know-it-all]]''!"

->"Creating scientifical inventions is easy! All you do is slap a bunch of junk together and cross your fingers!"

->I have approximate knowledge of many things.

->"You know it's time to sell when shoeshine boys give you stock tips. [[Main/TheGreatDepression This bull market is over.]]"

->'''To the left of the fireplace, a chiaroscuro Neapolitan painting by Viola. "''Typical of early eighteenth-century South German painting''," boomed the journalist Joe Alsop. As Joe was an expert on everything, he was generally wrong on everything, particularly on his subject, politics. For thirty years [[RedScare we were losing to Communism]], according to Joe.''

->"Somebody's gotta stand up to experts."

->"He's the worst kind of idiot: the idiot who thinks he's a genius."

-->-- '''Creator/Confucius'''

-->-- '''Creator/Laozi'''

-->-- '''Lao Tzu'''

->'''Richie:''' Wait! I know what we need! Music! Of course! What shall we have? ''(...)'' Molière! Molière! He could bash out a tune or two! ''(mistakenly hums a Vivaldi tune)'' ...and the other twiddly bits. He was Scottish you know?

->''Back when I first started cooking on the internet, there was a self-identified professional chef who used to really love coming at me in the comments - and this is back when I still had a bad habit of indulging that kind of stuff - and anyway, this chef just insisted that salt has this really, really profound effect on the boiling temperature of water for pasta. And I'll never forget what he said. I cited some science indicating that salt doesn't do that much in terms of boil temperature and all that, and he said "I don't care what a scientist tells me. [[AnecdotalFallacy I can see with my own two eyes]] that [[InsaneTrollLogic when I put the salt in, the water boils harder]]." I put the salt in, and the water goes whoosh; from this, "Chef" deduced that the salt is making the water a lot hotter, and hotter is better. And [[DumbassHasAPoint I kinda felt the guy's frustration]], because here's the problem. Your eyes are really good at telling you whether something is happening; they're not as good at telling you why it's happening.''

->''Back when I first started cooking on the internet, there was a self-identified professional chef who used to really love coming at me in the comments - and this is back when I still had a bad habit of indulging that kind of stuff - and anyway, this chef just insisted that salt has this really, really profound effect on the boiling temperature of water for pasta. And I'll never forget what he said. I cited some science indicating that salt doesn't do that much in terms of boil temperature and all that, and he said "I don't care what a scientist tells me. [[AnecdotalFallacy I can see with my own two eyes]] that [[InsaneTrollLogic when I put the salt in, the water boils harder]]." I put the salt in, and the water goes whoosh; from this, "Chef" deduced that the salt is making the water a lot hotter, and hotter is better. And [[DumbassHasAPoint I kinda felt the guy's frustration]], because here's the problem. Your eyes are really good at telling you when something is happening; they're not as good at telling you why it's happening.''

->''In the wild, the [=VeghEsther=] typically lurks in the shadows until it sees a less experienced user upon which it can prey. Upon sight, it immediately forces its prey to listen to an incoherent lecture about how a specific ''{{VideoGame/Tales|Series}} game works... These lectures generally would be informative and useful if the information were not completely fabricated and backed up by baseless assumptions. To protect oneself, one must block out all it says, which is, unfortunately, a lot. If it does not leave, one should promptly beg it to stop, which it will likely not do. Then, one may either run screaming with one's tail between one's legs, or flame it and risk a warning. Another way is just ignore him completely and focus on the main topic.''

-->--Tom Jackson, ESPN, on then-St. Louis Rams coach Mike Martz

->''It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance.''
-->--'''Thomas Sowell'''

->''“But there seems to have been an actual decline in rational thinking. The United States had become a place where entertainers and professional athletes were mistaken for people of importance. They were idolized and treated as leaders; their opinions were sought on everything and they took themselves just as seriously — after all, if an athlete is paid a million or more a year, he knows he is important … so his opinions of foreign affairs and domestic policies must be important, too, even though he proves himself to be both ignorant and subliterate every time he opens his mouth. (Most of his fans were just as ignorant and unlettered; the disease was spreading.)”''
-->--'''Maureen Johnson''', ''Literature/ToSailBeyondTheSunset''

->''One of the many disservices done to young people by our schools and colleges is giving them the puffed up notion that they are in a position to pass sweeping judgments on a world that they have barely begun to experience.''
-->--'''Thomas Sowell'''

->''One of the many disservices done to young people by our schools and colleges is giving them the puffed up notion that they are in a position to pass sweeping judgments on a world that they have barel begun to experience.''

->"I don't need any serving suggestions from ''you'', you barbecue-wrecking, ''[[TropeNamer know-nothing know-it-all]]''!"

->"Nothing is more insufferable than a blithering idiot who thinks he's the smartest motherfucker in the room, and this [terrible movie] is the celuloid manefestation of exactly that pretentious asshole."
--> '''[[Creator/BobChipman Moviebob]]''', ''Film/FantasticFour2015'' review

->''"Trump University" is proof that you can't [[LogicBomb make words explode]], no matter how violently you combine opposites. UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump can lose money in a casino [[EpicFail when he owns it]]. He doesn't learn from his mistakes, [[NeverMyFault he bankrupts or sues them]], and the only thing he can teach people is that they shouldn't have given him their money, a lesson his educational dialysis facility taught well.''

->:Nothing is more insufferable than a blithering idiot who thinks he's the smartest motherfucker in the room, and this [terrible movie] is the celuloid manefestation of exactly that pretentious asshole."

->''You see, [[Series/TheView this shrieking TV woman]] began by saying that she is not a doctor or medical professional of any kind, which already had me skeptical about whatever she was going to shout next. But then she delivered her position on why parents [[ScienceIsBad shouldn’t vaccinate their children]] in a much louder voice than my doctor, and it put some serious doubts in my mind. Would someone less sure of herself be able to be quite so loud? It seems unlikely.''

[[folder:Stand-up Comedy]]

-->--'''Creator/ChrisRock'''

-->--'''Renate Adler''', ''House Critic''

->''Although it is true that [[Creator/PaulineKael Ms. Kael]] can hardly resist [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment a restatement, or a repetition, or a meaningless amplification]] (“ditsey little twitches,” “ruthless no soul monsters”; “incomprehensible bitch,” “obnoxious smartass”); although she seems at times to have a form of prose hypochondria, palpating herself all over to see if she has a thought, and publishing every word of the process by which she checks to see whether or not she has one; it is also, equally, true that she can hardly resist any form of hyperbole, superlative, exaggeration...''