History Quotes / ConspiracyTheories

1st Apr '16 3:22:13 PM tsstevens
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-->-- '''[[Creator/PennAndTeller Penn Jillet,]] on...well, on [[Series/PennAndTellersBullshit bullshit]] conspiracy theories.

to:

-->-- '''[[Creator/PennAndTeller Penn Jillet,]] on...well, on [[Series/PennAndTellersBullshit [[Series/PennAndTellerBullshit bullshit]] conspiracy theories.
theories.'''
1st Apr '16 3:21:18 PM tsstevens
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Added DiffLines:

-> ''Being skeptical is good but looking at this (9/11) and having your first thoughts be, "This is a hoax staged by the government," well that takes a special kind of asshole...the lives lost on September 11 is something that we should never forget. But to conspiracy nuts, death and suffering are just heart pounding entertainment. They whack to tragedy.''
-->-- '''[[Creator/PennAndTeller Penn Jillet,]] on...well, on [[Series/PennAndTellersBullshit bullshit]] conspiracy theories.
15th Dec '15 8:38:40 PM bonesawisready
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Added DiffLines:

->Reading it is like trying to push a penny with one's nose through molten fudge.
-->--'''Walter Pforzheimer''' on L. Fletcher Prouty's ''The Secret Team'' (1973)
30th Nov '15 10:16:09 AM FF32
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-->--'''Creator/RichardDawkins''' reads his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421828030 fan mail]]

to:

-->--'''Creator/RichardDawkins''' -->--'''UsefulNotes/RichardDawkins''' reads his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421828030 fan mail]]
10th Nov '15 10:06:26 PM hamonrye
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->So, to wrap things up, there’s only one conclusion one can draw from all this top quality research. TV’s Jimmy Savile is [[Really700YearsOld an immortal energy vampire]] who’s been active since the beginning of time [[IHaveManyNames under a multitude of names]], from [[BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy Vlad the Impaler to the Knights Templar]]. Sometime in the sixties, he was summoned to our time in a ceremony by [[RockMeAsmodeus Mick Jagger and the Beatles]], using the arcane, Satanic wisdom of Aleister Crowley, from where he [[EatsBabies procured children]] for the elite, via the Leeds [[{{Hellgate}} Hell Mouth]], which acted as an energy portal for the Jewish, Masonic vampires that enslave our world. It’s pretty obvious when you look at the facts.
-->-- '''[[http://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2012/10/15/jimmy-savile-and-david-icke-all-the-pieces-matter/ Stuart Millard]]''', "Jimmy Saville and David Icke - All the Pieces Matter"
10th Nov '15 10:03:07 PM hamonrye
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to:

->Having spent years building up my left-wing credibility on behalf of my paymasters in [=MI5=], I’ve blown it. I overplayed my hand, and have been exposed, like Bush and Cheney, by [[KnowNothingKnowItAll a bunch of kids with laptops]]. My handlers are furious.
-->--'''George Monbiot''', [[http://www.monbiot.com/2007/02/20/bayoneting-a-scarecrow/ "Bayoneting a Scarecrow"]]
4th Nov '15 5:27:58 PM hamonrye
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-> If you BOUGHT '''this''' in EITHER sense of the word? Please, ''please'' do us all a favor and jump under a fucking truck. I'm not even joking. You cannot be THIS dumb and still have motor functions. It defies all known laws of science.
-->-- '''MovieBob''' - Review of [[Film/TheXFilesIWantToBelieve The X-Files - I Want (To Believe) My Money Back!]], regarding ''WebVideo/LooseChange''

-> Watching this video is like being bukakked with stupid.
-->-- '''Maddox''', of the ''Website/TheBestPageInTheUniverse'', on ''WebVideo/LooseChange''

to:

-> If you BOUGHT '''this''' in EITHER sense of the word? Please, ''please'' do us all a favor and jump under a fucking truck. I'm not even joking. You cannot be THIS dumb and still have motor functions. It defies all known laws of science.

->''Conspiracy theories are headcanon for real life.''
-->-- '''MovieBob''' - Review of [[Film/TheXFilesIWantToBelieve The X-Files - I Want (To Believe) My Money Back!]], regarding ''WebVideo/LooseChange''

-> Watching this video is like being bukakked with stupid.
-->-- '''Maddox''', of the ''Website/TheBestPageInTheUniverse'', on ''WebVideo/LooseChange''
'''Anonymous'''
----
[[AC:Live-Action TV]]



-> ''I am sure that the power of vested interests is vastly exaggerated compared with the gradual encroachment of ideas.''
-->-- '''John Maynard Keynes'''

-> ''The main thing that I learned about conspiracy theory is that conspiracy theorists actually believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is chaotic. The truth is, that it is not the Jewish banking conspiracy or the grey aliens or the twelve-foot reptile-oids from another dimension that are in control. The truth is more frightening; nobody is in control. The world is rudderless.''
-->-- '''Creator/AlanMoore'''

-> ''Given the three possibilities — robot pilots of real airliners, fake airliners, and the official story — what convinced you that robot pilots was the true version?''

to:

-> ''I am sure that ->These people love the power of vested interests is vastly exaggerated compared with the gradual encroachment of ideas.''
truth, they just [[IRejectYourReality hate facts.]]
-->-- '''John Maynard Keynes'''

-> ''The main thing that I learned about conspiracy theory is that conspiracy theorists actually believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is chaotic. The truth is, that it is not the Jewish banking conspiracy or the grey aliens or the twelve-foot reptile-oids from another dimension that are in control. The truth is more frightening; nobody is in control. The world is rudderless.''
-->-- '''Creator/AlanMoore'''

'''Bill Maher''', on Obama "Birthers".

[[AC:Podcasts]]

-> ''Given the three possibilities — robot pilots of real airliners, fake airliners, and the official story — what convinced you that [[InsaneTrollLogic robot pilots pilots]] was the true version?''



-> ''[The conspiracy theory mindset is] not a belief in corrupt leaders. Hell, we all believe in corrupt leaders. It's a belief in a corrupt ''everybody''. It's driving around in a world where every single person you see out of your windshield is utterly bloodthirsty and amoral, all except for you and a few, brave friends. What could make you feel more important than that?\\
\\
You can see the attraction right away. Most people, to feel special, have to actually do something special. But why not do what these guys do, and just make the rest of the world out to be wretched? Hell, once we've painted everyone else as mindless or murderous, all we have to do to feel superior to them is roll out of bed.''
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_15740_was-911-inside-job.html Was 9/11 an Inside Job?]]"

->''Conspiracy theories are headcanon for real life.''
-->-- '''Anonymous'''

to:

[[AC:Webcomics]]

->Conspiracy theories represent a known glitch in human reasoning. The theories are of course occasionally true, but their truth is completely uncorrelated with the believer's certainty. For some reason, sometimes when people think they've uncovered a lie, they raise confirmation bias to an art form. They cut context away from facts and arguments and assemble them into reassuring litanies. And over and over I've argued helplessly with smart people consumed by theories they were sure were irrefutable, theories that in the end proved complete fictions.
-->-- '''''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'''''

[[AC:Web Original]]

-> ''[The Watching this video is like being bukakked with stupid.
-->-- '''Maddox''', of the ''Website/TheBestPageInTheUniverse'', on ''WebVideo/LooseChange''


->I heard tall tales about how doctors got paid premiums to vaccinate our children, and that the medical community is purposely poisoning everyone for every reason under the sun, including population control, money, and even just “[[ForTheEvulz because they’re evil]].”
-->--'''[[http://www.voicesforvaccines.org/i-was-duped-by-the-anti-vaccine-movement/ Maranda Dynda]]''' former anti-vaxxer

->Do I really need to go into the politics? It is some of the most inane, delusional, contradictory nonsense ever spewed out on screen. It’s bad when I’m a liberal and [[OffendingTheCreatorsOwn you are making me want to vote for Nixon]]. Basically the evil “government” is responsible for all evils in the world short of throwing babies in a woodchipper (and that’s only because we don’t know about it yet due to the government keeping it hush hush).
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2011/07/11/the-trial-of-billy-jack-tom-laughlin-1974/ on]] ''The Trial of Billy Jack''

->[=Joe McCarthy=] was [[HiredToHuntYourself probably himself a commie]] portraying a specific role and task on the way towards communizing this country.It was probably a deliberate misdirection ploy to misdirect the public's attention to later subtle communization tactics.
-->--'''''Website/UrbanDictionary''''' speaking in [[PoesLaw utter seriousness]]

->Human beings fill in blanks with imagination, and when faced with superior force those blanks are invariably painted black.
-->--'''[[http://secretsunjr.blogspot.com/2013/02/mib-ufo-virtual-reality-and-reality.html Christopher Loring Knowles]]'''

->I suspect that if NASA had claimed that we traveled to the moon based on technology that was secretly left behind by the ancient astronauts, no one would have doubted the landing.
-->--'''[[http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/02/15/1363225/-Eureka-My-earthshaking-new-study-reveals-the-root-cause-of-the-profoundly-stupid?detail=email Susan Grigsby]]''', "Eureka! My earthshaking new study reveals the root cause of the profoundly stupid"

->A truther is a rabid devotee of horseshit—someone who can take any imperfection in a tragic narrative and construct [[ChewbaccaDefense an iron mountain of garbage]] from it. And they'll probably end up dooming us all.
-->--'''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/see-what-were-really-missing-here-is-the-vaccine-truth-1641735183 Drew Magary]]''', "A Field Guide to [[{{Eagleland}} American]] Truthers"

->...there’s also just a latent mistrust for the governmental structures, which is especially true in my city, which has been in the throes of institutionalized racism and economic collapse for a very long time. But most
conspiracy theory mindset is] theorists I’ve interacted with are not victims to that as they seem to come from a belief [[TheManIsStickingItToTheMan certain level of comfort.]] I think that comfort caters to conspiracy because they’re comfortable enough to think about things and realize how fucked up they are, but instead of recognizing real causes they create an impossibly malicious master plan to explain it all.
-->--'''[[http://www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/now/media/214739-illuminati-conspiracy-news-hidden Gabriella Garcia]]''', "I hid Illuminati graphics
in corrupt leaders. Hell, we all news broadcasts [[BitingTheHandHumor because I was bored]]"

->If you were to
believe in corrupt leaders. It's everything you read on the Internet, you'd think that every celebrity is an ambulatory heap of fake body parts mind-controlled by [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama President Obama]], who is a belief shapeshifting reptoid from a faraway star system (plus, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking having an affair with Beyoncé]])."
-->--'''''Jezebel''''', [[http://jezebel.com/31-celebrity-conspiracy-theories-ranked-1570845261 "31 Celebrity Conspiracy Theories, Ranked"]]

->Any misplaced pixel on a photo is proof of Photoshop, any misspoken word
in a corrupt ''everybody''. It's driving around news report is evidence of a cover-up... one guy posts that the Sandy Hook massacre was done by the same squad that 'began their evil twisted careers with the faked death and witness protection escape for [[ElvisLives Elvis]],' and ''[[PoesLaw no one disagrees with him.]]''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21341_5-ways-every-conspiracy-theory-makes-world-worse.html "5 Ways Every Conspiracy Theory 'Makes Sense'"]]

->So, to wrap things up, there’s only one conclusion one can draw from all this top quality research. TV’s Jimmy Savile is [[Really700YearsOld an immortal energy vampire]] who’s been active since the beginning of time [[IHaveManyNames under a multitude of names]], from [[BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy Vlad the Impaler to the Knights Templar]]. Sometime in the sixties, he was summoned to our time
in a world ceremony by [[RockMeAsmodeus Mick Jagger and the Beatles]], using the arcane, Satanic wisdom of Aleister Crowley, from where he [[EatsBabies procured children]] for the elite, via the Leeds [[{{Hellgate}} Hell Mouth]], which acted as an energy portal for the Jewish, Masonic vampires that enslave our world. It’s pretty obvious when you look at the facts.
-->-- '''[[http://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2012/10/15/jimmy-savile-and-david-icke-all-the-pieces-matter/ Stuart Millard]]''', "Jimmy Saville and David Icke - All the Pieces Matter"

->The powers that be are in fact watching you at all hours and tracking your
every single person you see out of move, but only because they're hoping you'll slip on the ice and [[HarmlessVillain drop your windshield is utterly bloodthirsty and amoral, all except for you and a few, brave friends. What could make you feel groceries again]].
--> -- '''''TheOnion'''''

->A
more important than that?\\
\\
likely theory is that, given the number of flowers thrown at her hearse during the funeral, Diana was [[TheDogWasTheMastermind murdered by florists]] who wanted to boost sales.
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on Diana of Wales

[[AC:Web Video]]

->"Why do you hide the fact that you are a Freemason whose mission is to get people as far away from God as possible?
You can see know God exists and Christianity is the attraction right away. Most people, to feel special, have to actually do something special. But truth, which is why not do what these guys do, and just make the rest you always talk against Christianity. You are one of the world out to be wretched? Hell, once we've painted everyone else as mindless or murderous, all we have to do to feel superior to them many antichrists, you satanic dog. Hell is roll out awaiting you, you little Masonic cunt."
-->--'''Creator/RichardDawkins''' reads his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421828030 fan mail]]

[[AC:RealLife]]

-> ''I am sure that the power
of bed.vested interests is vastly exaggerated compared with the gradual encroachment of ideas.''
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/article_15740_was-911-inside-job.html Was 9/11 '''John Maynard Keynes'''

->The main thing that I learned about conspiracy theory, is that conspiracy theorists believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is actually chaotic. The truth is that it is not The Iluminati, or The Jewish Banking Conspiracy, or the Gray Alien Theory. The truth is far more frightening. Nobody is in control. [[{{ComicBook/Watchmen}} The world is rudderless...]]
-->--'''Creator/AlanMoore'''

->The appeal of conspiracism is threefold. First, conspiracy theories claim to explain what others can’t. They appear to make sense out of a world that is otherwise confusing. Second, they do so in
an Inside Job?]]"

->''Conspiracy
appealingly simple way, by dividing the world sharply between the forces of light and the forces of darkness. They trace all evil back to a single source, the conspirators and their agents. Finally, conspiracy theories are headcanon often presented as special, secret knowledge unknown or unappreciated by others. For conspiracists, the masses are a brainwashed herd, while the conspiracists in the know can congratulate themselves on penetrating the plotters’ deceptions.
-->--'''[[http://www.publiceye.org/antisemitism/nw_barkun.html Michael Barkun]]''', author

->Built into the internet is a system
for real life.''
-->-- '''Anonymous'''
creating cults. So, for example, if I had a blog, which I don't, and I put up something which is a slightly novel and maybe somewhat objectionable interpretation of an event--the Bush administration is trying to poison the water in Boston or something, to pick at random--tomorrow somebody else would say, 'That's right, but [[SnowballLie it's worse than you think]]', and pretty soon you would develop a cult of people proving that the Bush administration is trying to [[OmnicidalManiac poison the world's water]]. It's extremely easy to get caught up in that kind of cultlike behavior, which has a cocoon property not similar to other religious cults, immune to evidence, immune to argument.
-->--'''Noam Chomsky''', 2007

->All of this is pure bunk and is no more important than the fact that my first, middle, and last name [[MarkOfTheBeast all have 6 letters.]]
-->--'''George Lauren''', IBM programmer and avatar of The Dark One

->It is a natural propensity to attribute misfortune to [[NeverMyFault someone's malignity.]]
-->--'''Creator/BertrandRussell''', ''Sceptical Essays''

->I never knew anyone that examined and deliberated about nonsense who did not believe it before the end of his enquiries.
-->--'''David Hume'''

->It is ironic that [[{{Eagleland}} a nation which had never experienced a coup d'état]] should be so obsessed with the idea of conspiracy.
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', "Paranoid Politics"

->The invasion transformed the country. Reality was replaced with a wild and self-serving fiction, a legitimization of the worst prejudices of the masses and paranoia of the outside world. The secret interior world arrayed against Argentina became one of [[StringTheory strange cabals]], [[GreedyJew worldwide Jewry]] trotted out again to be [[TheWarOnStraw beaten like a dead horse]], vast subterranean webs that had as their focus [[EspeciallyZoidberg the destruction of the Argentine people.]]
-->--'''Chris Hedges''' on UsefulNotes/TheFalklandsWar, ''War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning''

->Side by side with the official mythology of a beleaguered government threatened by riots, demonstrations, and unmotivated, irrational assassinations of public figures, a popular mythology has taken shape in the last thirty years that sees government as a conspiracy against the people themselves.
-->--'''Christopher Lasch''', ''The Life of Kennedy’s Death''

->In 1966, 36% of the respondents in a Gallup poll believed that Oswald acted alone. The percent was 11% in both the 1976 and 1983 Gallup polls and 13% in a 1988 CBS poll. This increase in belief in the conspiracy has taken place despite the fact that the accumulation of evidence has increasingly supported the lone assassin theory.
-->--'''Ted Goertzel''', ''Belief in Conspiracy Theories''

----
28th Apr '15 12:29:17 AM SeptimusHeap
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-->-- '''MovieBob''' - Review of [[Film/TheXFilesIWantToBelieve The X-Files - I Want (To Believe) My Money Back!]], regarding ''LooseChange''

to:

-->-- '''MovieBob''' - Review of [[Film/TheXFilesIWantToBelieve The X-Files - I Want (To Believe) My Money Back!]], regarding ''LooseChange''
''WebVideo/LooseChange''



-->-- '''Maddox''', of the ''Website/TheBestPageInTheUniverse'', on ''LooseChange''

to:

-->-- '''Maddox''', of the ''Website/TheBestPageInTheUniverse'', on ''LooseChange''
''WebVideo/LooseChange''
10th Dec '14 1:04:32 PM babyhenchy1
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-->-- '''Creator/StephenColbert''' on Obama's conspiracy to take our guns

to:

-->-- '''Creator/StephenColbert''' on Obama's conspiracy to take our guns
'''[[Series/TheColbertReport Stephen Colbert]]'''
3rd Jul '14 2:43:07 AM SeptimusHeap
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-->-- "The second question to ask conspiracy theorists" from the ''{{Skeptoid}}'' podcast.

to:

-->-- "The second question to ask conspiracy theorists" from the ''{{Skeptoid}}'' ''Podcast/{{Skeptoid}}'' podcast.
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