History Podcast / Distractible

** Wade loves [[{{Music/Shakira}} Shakira]]. Also, boats.

** Wade loves [[Music/Shakira Shakira]]. Also, boats.

** Wade loves Music/Shakira. Also, boats.

** Wade loves [[Music/Shakira]]. Also, boats.

''[[https://open.spotify.com/show/2X40qLyoj1wQ2qE5FVpA7x Distractible]]'' is a weekly podcast hosted by [[{{LetsPlay/Markiplier}} Mark Fischbach]], [[LetsPlay/LordMinion777 Wade Barnes]], and Bob Muyskens.

Every episode, two of the show's hosts compete to "bring the most captivating stories to the table" regarding a particular topic, and will be judged by the third host, the winner of the previous episode. The podcast updates every Monday. Excerpts from the episodes are posted on the [[https://www.youtube.com/c/distractiblepodcast official YouTube channel]] throughout the week; animated shorts based on stories from the podcast are periodically posted on [[https://www.youtube.com/c/markiplier Mark's channel]] as well.

** Wade loves Shakira. Also, boats.

** Wade loves Shakira.

** "One of us speaks in riddles, the other in rhymes."

* LovableSexManiac: If someone makes an innuendo, nine times out of ten, it's Wade.

* BadCopIncompetentCop: One story from Bob in "Disappointing Our Parents" involves Bob and some friends driving home at 3 AM from a midnight movie premiere, only to be pulled over by ''dozens'' of police cars who apparently mistook them for some gas station thieves. Even after it becomes clear that these high school kids in pirate costumes aren't the crooks they were looking for, the cops are very rude and condescending to them, demanding that Bob wake up his parents so they can back up his story, refusing to lend them some badly-needed gas, and even contriving a reason to search their car [[YankTheDogsChain just as they were about to let them go]].

'''[[https://open.spotify.com/show/2X40qLyoj1wQ2qE5FVpA7x Distractible]]''' is a weekly podcast hosted by [[{{LetsPlay/Markiplier}} Mark Fischbach]], [[LetsPlay/LordMinion777 Wade Barnes]], and Bob Muyskens.

** Mark and Bob, who were roommates in freshman year, crudely bunking their beds together using ''plastic clothes hangers'' as anchors rather than metal pins (animated [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9aqqehJSg0 here]]).

** In "Who's The Worst" during their ''Series/DealOrNoDeal'' style game, Bob feels confident enough near the end to steal Wade's case that he held on to for most of the episode. Mark suggested it as a joke, but Bob insists despite Mark thinking it was a bad idea. With that, Bob basically handed Wade the victory since he originally had the case with 75 points. In Wade's former case? '''One point.'''

* SigningOffCatchphrase: "Podcast... out!"

* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: The intro almost always contains this; for example, this one from "Waste of Money":

* OnceDoneNeverForgotten: Bob had the misfortune to host an episode on a topic nearly identical to a previous one (aging/getting older). When he realized his mistake, he was crushed; they dubbed it the "Worst Piece of Sh*t Episode Ever," and the other two have never let him forget the time he hosted an episode twice.

-->'''Wade''': Fuck your dreams. Fuck your nightmares. I'm gonna beat you.
* RiddleForTheAges: In "Pet Stories", Mark, while telling the story about his dog and a roomba doing its job far too well with disasterous results, admits how he still have no idea how the roomba ended up in the corner ''upside-down''.
* RunningGag:

'''[[https://open.spotify.com/show/2X40qLyoj1wQ2qE5FVpA7x Distractible]]'''[[note]]Also has a Website/YouTube channel [[https://www.youtube.com/c/distractiblepodcast here]], although as of 7/11/2022 they don't post full episodes there anymore[[/note]] is a weekly podcast hosted by [[{{LetsPlay/Markiplier}} Mark Fischbach]], [[LetsPlay/LordMinion777 Wade Barnes]], and Bob Muyskens.

Every episode, two of the show's hosts compete to "bring the most captivating stories to the table" regarding a particular topic, and will be judged by the third host, the winner of the previous episode. The podcast updates every Monday. Animated shorts based on stories from the podcast are periodically posted on Mark's [=YouTube=] channel as well.

* DontTryThisAtHome: Halfway through "Hold My Beer," Wade reminds the audience not to attempt any of Mark and Bob's college shenanigans, as any one of them could easily have gotten one or both of them killed.

** Mark attempting [[LeParkour parkour]] with a group of freshmen, a story he titled "The Day I Broke My Ass";

** Mark and Bob (who were roommates in freshman year) crudely bunking their beds together using ''plastic clothes hangers'' as anchors rather than metal pins, animated [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9aqqehJSg0 here]].

* StraightMan: The host of the week has the dubious honor of setting up topics for the other two to riff on. He also has to keep the discussion at least somewhat on track.

'''[[https://open.spotify.com/show/2X40qLyoj1wQ2qE5FVpA7x Distractible]]'''[[note]]Also has a Website/YouTube channel [[https://www.youtube.com/c/distractiblepodcast here]], although as of 7/11/2022 they don't post full episodes there anymore[[/note]] is a weekly podcast hosted by [[{{LetsPlay/Markiplier}} Mark Fischbach]], [[LetsPlay/LordMinion777 Wade Barnes]], and Bob Muyskens. Every episode, two of the show's hosts compete to "bring the most captivating stories to the table" regarding a particular topic, and will be judged by the third host, the winner of the previous episode. The podcast updates every Monday.

* BerateAndSwitch: According to Wade in "Disappointing Your Parents", his mom wasn't mad at him for going to a strip club, but for ''not taking her with him'' for his first visit.
* CatsAreMean: According to "Pet Stories", Wade's cat Keeters is a brutal SerialKiller who tortures and kills squirrels, mice, and birds with impunity, usually leaving the mutilated corpses on his doorstep. Keeters was declawed as a kitten, but apparently that doesn't slow him down much. Mark says his old cat, Maximilian, was similarly deranged.

* ConspiracyTheorist: Discussed in "Conspiracy Theories", naturally.
* DontTryThisAtHome: Halfway through "Hold My Beer", Wade reminds the audience not to attempt any of Mark and Bob's college shenanigans, as any one of them could easily have gotten one or both of them killed.

** In "Anything Goes", Mark has an alarm goes off at random intervals so whoever is talking gets a randomly assigned amount of points. Wade keeps missing the timing and Bob accrues more points. Twenty minutes in, he suggests having negative points being added to the randomizer to make Bob lose points. This puts Wade in the negative for the rest of the episode. It only got worse when closer to the end since [[TemptingFate he suggested widening the margin]] from -10--10 to -25--25, despite both Mark and ''Bob'' insisting that it's a bad idea and it doesn't have to happen. While this does hinder Bob and narrow the gap for some points, it doesn't get Wade out of the negative, ending him with -6. The only time he managed to get a net positive total[[note]]His highest score was 2 points[[/note]] is ''before'' the negatives were introduced.

* MarshmallowHell: In "Supernatural", Bob tells the story of the hantu tetek, a creature from Malaysian folklore whose preferred method of dispatching its victims is by smothering them in its rear-facing mammaries.

** Various methods to do this are discussed in "Beware the Candy Uncle". The one that provides the episode title is to hire a Candy Uncle: someone who pretends to be a distant relative at family gatherings, and then "[[FakingTheDead dies]]" the instant a kid misbehaves, [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone horrifying them]] enough to never do it again.
** In "Who's the Worst", Bob is asked how he would deal with a delinquent teenage son who'd just robbed a liquor store with some friends. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilnx_0lh9Rg His response]] is to [[spoiler:don a ski mask, track down the teenagers, and destroy their car with a baseball bat while screaming obscenities at them (while pretending to be the store owner)]].

* ThatPoorPlant: In "Pet Stories", Wade describes a time he and a friend caught a racoon in a tree in their front yard by ''cutting off every branch one by one''. The tree only survived another year, which Wade admits was probably his fault.

** Mark and Bob (who were roomates in freshman year) crudely bunking their beds together using ''plastic clothes hangers'' as anchors rather than metal pins, animated [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9aqqehJSg0 here]].
* TraumaCongaLine: The story of "Bob's Fridge", in which Bob's efforts to have a new refrigerator delivered to his new home begin with [[RidiculouslyLongPhoneHold an excessively long wait time]], develop into the first delivery team bringing a dented fridge (and managing to set off the earthquake detector on his home's gas line, leaving the home without heat), and culminate in [[IncompetenceInc the second delivery team]] shearing off a PVC pipe that was part of an irrigation system, flooding the backyard and possibly [[AllForNothing ruining the refrigerator]].
* UncertainDoom: In "Hold My Beer", Mark recalls a fellow college freshman breaking several of his ribs attempting [[LeParkour parkour]]. Later in the episode, Wade inquires what happened to the guy, and Mark [[OhCrap realizes]] that he never actually saw him again...

* HoistByHisOwnPetard: In "Anything Goes", Mark has it set up so that a random alarm goes off at irregular intervals so whoever is talking gets a randomly assigned amount of points. Wade keeps missing the timing and Bob accrues more points. Halfway through, he supports having negative points being added to the randomizer so he has a chance for Bob to lose his lead. This puts Wade in the negative for most of the rest of the episode. It only got worse when closer to the end since [[TemptingFate he suggested widening the margin from -5 -- 10 to -25 -- 25]], all despite both Mark and Bob insisting that it's a bad idea and he doesn't have to do this. While this does hinder Bob and narrow the gap, it doesn't get Wade out if the negative, ending him with -6. The only time he managed to get a net positive total[[note]]His highest score was 3 points[[/note]] is before the negatives were introduced.