History Main / WroteTheBook

* WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeastBellesMagicalWorld: [=LePlume=] says that he wrote the book on love (he's a talking quill pen).

* ''[[FanFic/AdoptedDisplaced Another Hatchling]]'': Turns out Spike ''literally'' wrote the book on a certain subject. And it's one of his friends who points this out (with Twilight immediately asking why he didn't mention it sooner and where she can get a copy):

* From the 1974 film ''Film/HerbieRidesAgain'':

'''Alonzo Hawk:''' Oh, shut up! We'll start on Number 1 - Harassment! And I wrote the book on harassment - We'll shut up her phone, turn off her water; we'll sic the Health & Building inspectors on her, steal her dog.

-->-- '''Nina''', ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', "Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis"

* ''Series/DoctorWho'' gives us this gem in [[[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E9TheSatanPit The Satan Pit]]:

* ''Series/DoctorWho'' gives us this gem:

** In "The Great Money Caper", Homer and Bart have been scamming people when Grampa asks to join, saying he wrote the book on conning. [[LiteralMetaphor Then he hands a book about conning to Bart, who looks at the About the Author section on the back cover and sees a picture of a young Grandpa.]]

'''Guinan:''' If the Borg know everything he knows, it's time to throw that book away. You ''must'' let him go, Riker. It's the only way to beat him. [[TimeToStepUpCommander The only way to save him. And that is now your chair]], ''[[TimeToStepUpCommander Captain]]''.

'''Captain William T. Riker:''' It's not that simple. This was his crew. He wrote the book on this ship.\\
'''Guinan:''' If the Borg know everything he knows, it's time to throw that book away. You ''must'' let him go, Riker. It's the only way to beat him. The only way to save him.

* WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeastBellesMagicalWorld: LePlume says that he wrote the book on love (he's a talking quill pen).

* ''Fanfic/ChildOfTheStorm'' has Doctor Strange as the literal author of several authoritative books of magic. However, in keeping with his need-to-know attitude (as Harry puts it, 'there's one person who needs to know, and it's him'), they tend not to appear often. Furthermore, in keeping with his quirky sense of humour, they tend to have rather odd titles - he gives Harry one called ''[[ParodiesForDummies Blood Magic for Morons]]'', just after Harry's done something particularly stupid.

* ''Fanfi/HarryAndTheShipgirls'' reveals that the destroyer Fubuki, after studying countless records of naval battles in UsefulNotes/WorldWarII, wrote a comprehensive book on tactics that shipgirls should use in combat. Yet another reason the Mother of Modern Destroyers is treated with respect by countless ships, even those far above her weight class.

** Inverted in ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets'', when Hagrid complains that Lockhart (who ''did'' write the book on dealing with magical pests[[note]]Although not ''the'' book on magical creatures, [[Literature/FantasticBeastsAndWhereToFindThem that was Newt Scamander]].[[/note]]) insisted on giving him advice despite the fact it wasn't anything he didn't know.

'''Alonzo Hawk:''' Oh, shut up! We'll start on Number 1 - Harassment! And I wrote the book on harrassment - We'll shut up her phone, turn off her water; we'll sic the Health & Building inspectors on her, steal her dog.

'''Mrs. Tingle:''' Who do you think you're fooling? You're so scared I can smell it. Your fear is the most predictable thing about you. You've lived your whole life in fear. Terrified of making a mistake; Scared to death you won't get that A, that ticket out. Afraid you'll never escape your mother and her name tag. Or your father who won't return your calls. That's why you shunned Luke and every other boy who has ever tried to put his hands on you. You're afraid of getting that bad seed. Afraid of giving birth to a child you never wanted. A child you could only blame for your own wretched existance. Stuck in a small town with a small name. Destined to become that very thing you despise the most. I know all about it, Leigh Ann. I wrote the book! I know you.

* When Rae Johnston was told by a man who took offense at her ''Bioshock Infinite'' T-Shirt "I bet you haven't even played", she took revenge by [[http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/ultimate-revenge-i-saw-his-face-crumble-20130423-2ibnt.html telling him the ending.]] It was obvious on his face that he hadn't reached the ending yet.
* Creator/DianeDuane [[https://dduane.tumblr.com/post/47808247140/dakotaaaa-thesuitsofwoah-gailsimone-this describes a similar situation]] involving ''[[VideoGame/WingCommanderPrivateer Privateer 2]]'', which she wrote the screenplay for.

** When Snape eagerly starts in on how Harry and Ron have broken Wizarding law with the whole "flying car" stunt, Dumbledore cuts him off saying "I'm well-aware of our by-laws, Severus, having written quite a few of them myself."

* From the episode "'Twas the Fight Before Christmas" of ''Series/McCloud'':

-->'''Lex Luthor:''' The Luthors wrote the book on [[AwkwardSilence uncomfortable silences]].

-->'''John Crichton:''' Dr. [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Jones Chuck Jones]] wrote the book on these situations.

!!Examples

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

-->'''Wolverine''': "I make him mad. But I figure that's okay... I wrote the book on mad."

[[folder:FanFics]]

--> '''Twilight Velvet''': "It's one thing to know your grandson is built to eat other creatures," (...) "Quite another to wrap your head around him writing the 'Gourmet Predator's Guide to the Galaxy'."
--> '''Anthony''': "That's actually still the fifth best seller, last time I checked."

* From the 1989 film ''[[Film/ThePunisher1989 The Punisher]]'':

** Creator/DianeDuane [[https://dduane.tumblr.com/post/47808247140/dakotaaaa-thesuitsofwoah-gailsimone-this describes a similar situation]] involving ''[[VideoGame/WingCommanderPrivateer Privateer 2]]'', which she wrote the screenplay for.

* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}''

--->''You know those leather-bound tomes you have on the wall behind your desk to impress your clients? I have read them all, and I wrote half of them.''

--->'''Scotty''': Shunt the deuterium from the main cryo-pump to the auxiliary tank. \\
'''La Forge''': Er, the tank can't withstand that kind of pressure. \\
'''Scotty''': [laughs] Where'd you get that idea? \\
'''La Forge''': What do you mean, where did I get that idea? It's in the impulse engine specifications. \\
'''Scotty''': Regulation 42/15 - Pressure Variances on the IRC Tank Storage? \\
'''La Forge''': Yeah. \\
'''Scotty''': Forget it. I wrote it. A good engineer is always a wee bit conservative, at least on paper. Just bypass the secondary cut-off valve and boost the flow. It'll work.

--->'''Hawking:''' [[AC:[[OrphanedPunchline But then I said, in that frame of reference, the perihelion of Mercury would have precessed in the opposite direction.]]]]
--->'''Einstein:''' (''laughing'') That is a great story!
--->'''Data:''' Quite amusing, Doctor Hawking. [[DontExplainTheJoke You see, Sir Isaac, the joke depends on an understanding of the relativistic curvature of space-time. If two non-inertial reference frames are in relative motion]]...
--->'''Newton:''' Do not patronise me, sir. I invented physics.

* ''Series/{{Friends}}''

--->'''Jill:''' (''sobbing'') I'm so sorry!\\

* ''Series/TheTwilightZone1959'': The episode "He's Alive" centers around a neo-Nazi speaker getting tips from a man standing in the shadows. When the neo-Nazi accuses his benefactor of skulking in the darkness, the man answers, "I ''invented'' darkness!" [[spoiler: He then emerges from the shadows, revealing that he's Adolf Hitler.]]

* ''Series/AgentsOfShield'': after Daisy nearly gets herself killed in a prison riot, May confronts her:
-->''"I know what you're doing. Trying to distance yourself from everyone else so they don't drown in your wake? I invented that move. It doesn't work, for one simple reason: [[TheHeart Phil Coulson]]."''

[[folder: Professional Wrestling]]

--> '''Gilgamesh''': My father once wrote a monograph on how to communicate in the workplace. All seven popes ordered it burned.
* ''Webcomic/BramAndVlad'': Of course Abraham Van Helsing wrote a 900 pages handbook on vampires. [[http://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Bram_and_Vlad/5455882/ Of course he did]].

[[folder:Web Original]]

-->'''Foghorn:''' Golf...I say, golf, anyone?\\

* ''Series/TheTwilightZone''; The episode "He's Alive" centers around a neo-Nazi speaker getting tips from a man standing in the shadows. When the neo-Nazi accuses his benefactor of skulking in the darkness, the man answers, "I ''invented'' darkness!" [[spoiler: He then emerges from the shadows, revealing that he's Adolf Hitler.]]

* Inverted in ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets'', when Hagrid complains that Lockhart (who ''did'' write the book on dealing with magical pests[[note]]Although not ''the'' book on magical creatures, [[Literature/FantasticBeastsAndWhereToFindThem that was Newt Scamander]].[[/note]]) insisted on giving him advice despite the fact it wasn't anything he didn't know.