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* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKRNskIkLI8 Latin American advertising "Cebollas" (onions) for Iphone 6s]] has a Colombian character saying about a video: "Tres palabras: ¡Per-fec-ta!" ("Three words: per-fec-t").
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Deleted line(s) 214 (click to see context) :
* [=JohnR7=] from Christian Forums once said "I can sum it all up in three words, Evolution is a lie", needless to say when that statement was [[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=16695 submitted]] to ''Website/FundiesSayTheDarndestThings'', the comments had a field day with his inability to count and that quote became one of the most iconic quotes on the site.
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* In the ''WebVideo/{{Jacksfilms}}'' video "Your Grammar Sucks #60", [[https://youtu.be/nC9OX4pfjjE?t=142 one of the atrocious comments is "I can sum it up in three words. Evolution is a lie".]] This promptly gets {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d by the singer, who stares in disbelief at the other versions of himself onscreen.
to:
* In the ''WebVideo/{{Jacksfilms}}'' video "Your Grammar Sucks #60", [[https://youtu.be/nC9OX4pfjjE?t=142 one of the atrocious comments is "I can sum it up in three words. Evolution is a lie".]] lie"]], a quote from a user on a Christian forum. This promptly gets {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d by the singer, who stares in disbelief at the other versions of himself onscreen.
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Changed line(s) 59 (click to see context) from:
* In ''Film/TheWorldsEnd'', after being asked how his mother's funeral was, Gary answers: "It's difficult to put into words. But if I had to choose three, I would say, "Really, really sad." Oh, no, that's two, isn't it? How about, "Really, very sad"?".
to:
* In ''Film/TheWorldsEnd'', after being asked how his mother's funeral was, Gary answers: "It's difficult to put into words. But if I had to choose three, I would say, "Really, 'Really, really sad." ' Oh, no, that's two, isn't it? How about, "Really, 'Really, very sad"?".sad'?".
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Changed line(s) 59,60 (click to see context) from:
* In ''Film/TheWorldsEnd'', after being asked how his mothers funeral was, Gary answers: "It's difficult to put into words. But if I had to choose three, I would say,
"Really, really sad." Oh, no, that's two, isn't it? How about, "Really, very sad"?"
"Really, really sad." Oh, no, that's two, isn't it? How about, "Really, very sad"?"
to:
* In ''Film/TheWorldsEnd'', after being asked how his mothers mother's funeral was, Gary answers: "It's difficult to put into words. But if I had to choose three, I would say,
say, "Really, really sad." Oh, no, that's two, isn't it? How about, "Really, very sad"?"sad"?".
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* In ''Film/TheWorldsEnd'', after being asked how his mothers funeral was, Gary answers: "It's difficult to put into words. But if I had to choose three, I would say,
"Really, really sad." Oh, no, that's two, isn't it? How about, "Really, very sad"?"
"Really, really sad." Oh, no, that's two, isn't it? How about, "Really, very sad"?"
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Changed line(s) 95 (click to see context) from:
A**n exchange between Ash and Danny, where Danny is threatening a lawsuit and Ash is mocking his intelligence:
to:
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** In the episode "Eat Yourself Slender", where TheMark is led to believe Mickey is an art dealer who isn't averse to stealing on behalf of waelthy clients:
to:
** In the episode "Eat Yourself Slender", where TheMark is led to believe Mickey is an art dealer who isn't averse to stealing on behalf of waelthy wealthy clients:
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Changed line(s) 94,97 (click to see context) from:
* ''Series/{{Hustle}}'' has an exchange between Ash and Danny, where Danny is threatening a lawsuit and Ash is mocking his intelligence:
-->'''Danny:''' ... I'll be using three of my favourite words. "Unsubstantiated", "Libelous" and "Court Case".
-->'''Ash:''' "Court Case" is two words.
-->'''Danny:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I used a bloody hyphen!
-->'''Danny:''' ... I'll be using three of my favourite words. "Unsubstantiated", "Libelous" and "Court Case".
-->'''Ash:''' "Court Case" is two words.
-->'''Danny:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I used a bloody hyphen!
to:
* ''Series/{{Hustle}}'' has an ''Series/{{Hustle}}''
A**n exchange between Ash and Danny, where Danny is threatening a lawsuit and Ash is mocking his intelligence:
-->'''Danny:''' ...--->'''Danny:''' ... I'll be using three of my favourite words. "Unsubstantiated", "Libelous" and "Court Case".
-->'''Ash:''' --->'''Ash:''' "Court Case" is two words.
-->'''Danny:''' --->'''Danny:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I used a bloody hyphen!hyphen!
** In the episode "Eat Yourself Slender", where TheMark is led to believe Mickey is an art dealer who isn't averse to stealing on behalf of waelthy clients:
--->'''Dr Dean [=DeVille=]''': I've got four words for you. Four very simple words. Can. You. Acquire. The. ''(laughs)'' Five words...
A**n exchange between Ash and Danny, where Danny is threatening a lawsuit and Ash is mocking his intelligence:
** In the episode "Eat Yourself Slender", where TheMark is led to believe Mickey is an art dealer who isn't averse to stealing on behalf of waelthy clients:
--->'''Dr Dean [=DeVille=]''': I've got four words for you. Four very simple words. Can. You. Acquire. The. ''(laughs)'' Five words...
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-->'''Customer''': Dear PlayStation! Just got my [=PS3=]! So whatcha got?\\
to:
-->'''Customer''': Dear PlayStation! UsefulNotes/PlayStation! Just got my [=PS3=]! So whatcha got?\\
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** When Sora's confronts Cerberus...
-->"Kid, I got two words of advice for you: ATTACK!!"
-->"Kid, I got two words of advice for you: ATTACK!!"
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** Schnozmo, Cosmo's brother, does this almost everytime he speaks.
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* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'': Narrowly subverted by Robin on one occasion.
--> '''Robin''': Oh, can I just say five things? ''[[[DopeSlap starts smacking James on the head]]]'' [[PunctuatedPounding What! Is! The! Matter! With!--Sorry, six--You?!]]
--> '''Robin''': Oh, can I just say five things? ''[[[DopeSlap starts smacking James on the head]]]'' [[PunctuatedPounding What! Is! The! Matter! With!--Sorry, six--You?!]]
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Namespacing.
Changed line(s) 174 (click to see context) from:
** When he messed this up in ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts,'' Goofy even ''[[LampShading counted]]'' the words and got confused when he heard four instead of two.
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** When he messed this up in ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts,'' ''VideoGame/KingdomHeartsI,'' Goofy even ''[[LampShading counted]]'' the words and got confused when he heard four instead of two.
Changed line(s) 176 (click to see context) from:
** In ''[[KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories Chain of Memories]]'', it comes with a LampshadeHanging:
to:
** In ''[[KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories ''[[VideoGame/KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories Chain of Memories]]'', it comes with a LampshadeHanging:
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->''"I can give you his description in three words ... an insensate, ugly, stupid blockhead. that's four, but no matter ..."''
to:
->''"I can give you his description in three words ... an insensate, ugly, stupid blockhead. that's That's four, but no matter ..."''
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Changed line(s) 2,4 (click to see context) from:
-> "I can give you his description in three words ... an insensate, ugly, stupid blockhead. That's four, but no matter ..."
--> --Rosalie Murray, ''Literature/AgnesGrey''
--> --Rosalie Murray, ''Literature/AgnesGrey''
to:
--> --Rosalie Murray,
-->--'''Rosalie Murray''', ''Literature/AgnesGrey''
Changed line(s) 204 (click to see context) from:
* The internet reviewer {{Creator/Benzaie}} does this for amusement value, where he will sum up a game in two words, at least one of the words being four or five words all squished together; For example, he sums up the UsefulNotes/SegaGenesis adaptation of ''Bram Stoker's Dracula'' as "Two words: Franchise/{{Castlevania}}ripoff withagaymusic!" For additional comical effect, he can still mangle his description somehow even if it '''is''' just two words: "Two words: Abo Nus!" (A Bonus).
to:
* The internet reviewer {{Creator/Benzaie}} Creator/{{Benzaie}} does this for amusement value, where he will sum up a game in two words, at least one of the words being four or five words all squished together; For example, he sums up the UsefulNotes/SegaGenesis adaptation of ''Bram Stoker's Dracula'' as "Two words: Franchise/{{Castlevania}}ripoff withagaymusic!" For additional comical effect, he can still mangle his description somehow even if it '''is''' just two words: "Two words: Abo Nus!" (A Bonus).
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Changed line(s) 107,108 (click to see context) from:
* Bo, from ''Series/LostGirl'', tries to recover from his miscounting by claiming the words were hyphenated, which makes them single words.
-->'''Bo:''' Two words: Lauren, kiss my ass. ...Lotta hyphens in that one.
-->'''Bo:''' Two words: Lauren, kiss my ass. ...Lotta hyphens in that one.
to:
* ''Series/LostGirl'': Bo, from ''Series/LostGirl'', in episode "The Mourning After", tries to recover from his miscounting by claiming the words were hyphenated, which makes them two single words.
-->'''Bo:''' Two words:Lauren, kiss my ass. ...Lotta Lauren kiss-my-ass. (Takes shot) Lot of hyphens in that last one.
-->'''Bo:''' Two words:
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Changed line(s) 84 (click to see context) from:
* On ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace'':
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* On ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace'':''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace'': Character splits "telekinesis" into two words.
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* ''Series/HangTime'': Episode "Trouble in Paradise," when Danny confronts Chris about "stealing" Julie (after pointing out that Danny can't say two words to her), Daddy responds that he has two words for ''him'', and says four instead.
--->'''Danny:''' "Yeah! Well, I have two words for you: stay away... from her."
--->'''Danny:''' "Yeah! Well, I have two words for you: stay away... from her."
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-->'''Washington:''' Three words, JD: Statue. Tory. Rape.
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* [=JohnR7=] from Christian Forums once said "I can sum it all up in three words, Evolution is a lie", needless to say when that statement was [[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=16695 submitted]] to ''Website/FundiesSayTheDarndestThings'', the comments had a field day with his inability to count and that quote became one of the most iconic quotes on the site.
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Not sister tropes; this trope only exists in relation to the supertrope
Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
Contrast TwoWordsAddedEmphasis (which adds to the drama of a moment).
to:
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* ''Series/NewsRadio'': Jimmy announces that he's going to build a 200-story building. When Joe questions if that's even possible, Jimmy answers, "I have two words for you: mon-ey and lots of it."
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I recall this scene. It\'s one of the few things about this show I do recall - I had to look up the characters\' names - as I haven\'t seen it in decades.
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* In ''WesternAnimation/JamesBondJr'', Gordo proclaims "Three words: Gimme a break". IQ argues that it's four, but Gordo insists on counting "gimme" as one word.
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Contrasting another trope isn\'t a good description start.
Changed line(s) 6,7 (click to see context) from:
While TwoWordsAddedEmphasis adds to the drama of a moment, failing to count your words correctly undercuts the emphasis made by announcing the number of words a character plans to use, and makes the character look slightly more foolish. Counting is usually a simple task, and people usually only try one to four words when emphasizing their statements this way. So failing to count correctly moves the emphasis from the character's point to making the scene or character using it somewhat more comical.
to:
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Contrast TwoWordsAddedEmphasis (which adds to the drama of a moment).
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Not an example. It\'s just a variation on the expression \"have a word (with someone).\" It has nothing to do with playing on Two Words Added Emphasis.
Deleted line(s) 63 (click to see context) :
* In parts of Steven Brust's ''Literature/{{Dragaera}}'' series, someone who leads with "if I might say two words...", or any variation of that, inevitably launches into an extended exposition, much longer than their supposed "two words".
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* ''Film/BigFatLiar'': In the awful movie-in-a-movie, ''Whittaker and Fowl'', Whitaker is told "shut the heck up" is two words.
--> Listen, Whitaker, I am not your father and I'm not your priest. I got two words for you: shut the heck up! You talk way too much... can we cut?
--> Listen, Whitaker, I am not your father and I'm not your priest. I got two words for you: shut the heck up! You talk way too much... can we cut?
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Changed line(s) 216,219 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Teacher:''' Two words: "Beak washed out with soap!" Okay, ''three'' words!
-->'''[[CriminalDoppelganger Paper Chicken]]:''' I got three words for youse: ''bye''!
Then later...
-->'''Chicken:''' [[IronicEcho Three words: good bye!]]
-->'''[[CriminalDoppelganger Paper Chicken]]:''' I got three words for youse: ''bye''!
Then later...
-->'''Chicken:''' [[IronicEcho Three words: good bye!]]
to:
-->'''Teacher:''' Two words: "Beak washed out with soap!" Okay, ''three'' words!
-->'''[[CriminalDoppelgangerwords!\\
'''[[CriminalDoppelganger Paper Chicken]]:''' I got three words for youse:''bye''!
Then later...
-->'''Chicken:'''''bye''!\\
''(Later)''\\
'''Chicken:''' [[IronicEcho Three words: good bye!]]
-->'''[[CriminalDoppelganger
'''[[CriminalDoppelganger Paper Chicken]]:''' I got three words for youse:
Then later...
-->'''Chicken:'''
''(Later)''\\
'''Chicken:''' [[IronicEcho Three words: good bye!]]
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Changed line(s) 71 (click to see context) from:
* Shawn's attempt to dissuade his friend on ''Series/BoyMeetsWorld'' runs into a stumbling block as he stops at the correct number of words, but then realizes that he didn't say enough to make his point.
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* Shawn's attempt to dissuade his friend on ''Series/BoyMeetsWorld'' runs into a stumbling block as he [[InvertedTrope stops at the correct number of words, but then realizes that he didn't say enough to make his point. point]].
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improved wording
Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
** When Harry Stamper uses reunites with AJ, he adds an extra word to the five he declares:
to:
** When Harry Stamper uses reunites with AJ, A.J., he adds an extra word to the five he declares:
Changed line(s) 45 (click to see context) from:
** A.J. in turn also uses this to talk with Harry:
to:
** A.J. in turn also uses this miscounts when talking to talk with Harry:Harry, getting his number wrong twice:
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found new example
Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
* Harry Stamper uses a variety of word lengths in ''Film/{{Armageddon}}''. One in particular was "AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!".
to:
* ''Film/{{Armageddon}}'':
** When Harry Stamper usesa variety of reunites with AJ, he adds an extra word lengths in ''Film/{{Armageddon}}''. One in particular was "AJ, to the five he declares:
-->'''Harry Stamper:''' A.J., I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you, boy!\\
'''A.J.:''' That's six words.
** A.J. in turn also uses this to talk with Harry:
-->'''A.J.:''' You know, Harry, there are only, uh, five words, I want to hear from youboy!". right now and those words are: you know A.J., I really look up to you, you been a hero of mine for sometime, and I'm really impressed with your work and I'm emotionally closed off... ''[{{beat}}]'' That's like, I dunno, that's like eleven words or something. You know what how 'bout just: A.J., I'm sorry and I love you?
** When Harry Stamper uses
-->'''Harry Stamper:''' A.J., I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you, boy!\\
'''A.J.:''' That's six words.
** A.J. in turn also uses this to talk with Harry:
-->'''A.J.:''' You know, Harry, there are only, uh, five words, I want to hear from you
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** The one time he ''did'' have the right number, in his song "One Last Hope", he was forced to make a LastSecondWordSwap.
to:
** The one time he ''did'' have the right number, in his In Phil's song "One Last Hope", he was the lines "Askin' me to jump into the fray/My answer is two words:" set him to rhyme with something like "No way." Then he's forced to make a LastSecondWordSwap.LastSecondWordSwap.
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%%Page Quote
-> "I can give you his description in three words ... an insensate, ugly, stupid blockhead. That's four, but no matter ..."
--> --Rosalie Murray, ''Literature/AgnesGrey''
%%Definition
While TwoWordsAddedEmphasis adds to the drama of a moment, failing to count your words correctly undercuts the emphasis made by announcing the number of words a character plans to use, and makes the character look slightly more foolish. Counting is usually a simple task, and people usually only try one to four words when emphasizing their statements this way. So failing to count correctly moves the emphasis from the character's point to making the scene or character using it somewhat more comical.
The key aspect of this trope is a dissonance between the words declared and the words used. Contractions like "can't", "won't", "ain't" can all be used for one/two words. A character that says, "Four words: It wasn't me." and a character that says "Three words: It wasn't me." are both counting their words correctly, even if they are counting differently. A character who says "Three words: It was ''not'' me." messed up, because even if they intended the contraction, they forgot to use it.
Rarely, we have examples of the speaking character giving the right number, but getting "corrected" by another character who miscounted.
----
!!Examples:
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Advertising]]
* A 1980s commercial for Alka Seltzer cold medicine where a group of construction workers touted the product; one of them said "in a word: it works."
* From an 80s car commercial starring Creator/JimVarney as Ernest P. Worrell: "I've got one word for you, Vern, new car!"
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8h0aMVtKLg A PlayStation3 commercial]] featuring Advertising/KevinButler, claimed "montage" is two words.
-->'''Customer''': Dear PlayStation! Just got my [=PS3=]! So whatcha got?\\
'''Kevin Butler''': What do I got? Two words: mon, tage.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film - Animated]]
* A RunningGag in Disney's ''Disney/{{Hercules}}'' (the movie, the TV series, ''and'' the Hercules-themed world in ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts'') is that every time Philocetes attempts TwoWordsAddedEmphasis, he gets the count wrong.
-->"I got two words for ya kid--I am retired!"\\
\\
"What is that?!"\\
"Two words -- am-scray!" (PigLatin for scram, for those under a rock.)\\
\\
Hercules (imitating Phil): Two words: Duck!
** After the "retired" line, a confused Hercules is then seen counting it out. As a BilingualBonus, "I am retired" ''is'' two words in Ancient Greek.
** The one time he ''did'' have the right number, in his song "One Last Hope", he was forced to make a LastSecondWordSwap.
-->'''Phil''': "My answer is ''two words''..." [[BoltOfDivineRetribution (Gets hit by lightning)]] "...o-kay."
* During ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory2'', Stinky Pete was explaining the reason for the declining popularity of ''Woody's Roundup''; "Two words: Sput Nik." Stinky Pete was referring to unmanned Russian satellite ''Sputnik'', the beginning of the "Space Race".
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film - Live Action]]
* ''Film/AliGInDaHouse'' has a character tell people their two words: "Keep It Real!". This is of course immediately pointed out that that's ''three'' words, and [[LampshadeHanging it's followed by a debate on whether "it" counts as a word because of how short it is.]]
* Harry Stamper uses a variety of word lengths in ''Film/{{Armageddon}}''. One in particular was "AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!".
* In ''Film/DudeWheresMyCar'', after Jesse and Chester get thrown out of the twins' house, one of the characters splits the word "management" into two words.
-->"I got three words for you! Anger manage ment!"
* In ''Film/MidnightRun'' Walsh is grows aggravated by Mardukas' nagging, finally telling him to "shut up".
-->'''Mardukas''': Jack, you're a grown man. You have control over your own words.\\
'''Walsh''': You're God damn right I do, so here come two for you; "shut the fuck up".
* In ''Film/ReservoirDogs'', Mr. Pink says the line, "Two words: learn to fucking type."
* ''Film/TrueLies'': One of the characters breaks the word "insane" into two words: "Okay, I've got two words for that: In. Sane."
* After the villain in ''Film/TankGirl'' screams in Tank Girl's face, she counts "your teeth" as one word.
-->''"I got two words for you...Brush your teeth!"''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Literature]]
* Rosalie Murray, in ''Literature/AgnesGrey'', describes Mr Weston negatively. Her animosity leads her to describe four negative traits instead of the three she announced. She corrects herself immediately after.
--> "I can give you his description in three words ... an insensate, ugly, stupid blockhead. That's four, but no matter ..."
* In parts of Steven Brust's ''Literature/{{Dragaera}}'' series, someone who leads with "if I might say two words...", or any variation of that, inevitably launches into an extended exposition, much longer than their supposed "two words".
* In ''Discworld/MovingPictures'', the word "impossible" is counted as two words by a secondary character. Fans assume this is a reference to legendary Hollywood producer Samuel Goldwyn, {{malaproper}} and simile-mangler extraordinaire.
--> "In a word -- im-possible!" \\
"That's two words," said Dibbler.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Live-Action TV]]
* Kara [=DioGuardi=], the new judge on ''Series/AmericanIdol'', critiqued a contestant with "six words: one of the best performances of the night." Creator/RyanSeacrest mocked her on the next episode by introducing her as "three words: Kara [=DioGuardi=]."
* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'': Raj suggests a way out of a jam to Howard, but gets confused because "3-D" is an acronym for three-dimensional.
-->Two words. 3-D printer. (beat) Wait. Or is that three words?
* Shawn's attempt to dissuade his friend on ''Series/BoyMeetsWorld'' runs into a stumbling block as he stops at the correct number of words, but then realizes that he didn't say enough to make his point.
-->'''Shawn:''' Here's what I got for you - Two Words: Uncle Mike's\\
''<{{Beat}}>''\\
'''Shawn:''' I'm gonna need more words.
* ''Series/TheCommish'': One episode opens with Tony on the phone to a friend inviting him out to dinner, when the friend refuses, Tony wants to know why. The friend attempts to be succinct, by using "forget about it" as one word.
-->'''Friend:''' One word: Forget about it.
* Hank from ''Series/CornerGas'' counts "boycott" as two words.
--> '''Hank:''' Two words: Boycott.
* In the first episode of ''Series/ForeverKnight'', Nick Knight has been unwillingly partnered with Don Schanke, who is telling Nick he's a better cop thanks to his gut instincts. Just then Nick goes roaring up an alley because his vampire super-hearing has picked up a woman being murdered. When Schanke asks how he knew, Nick says sarcastically, "Three words: In-tu-ition."
* ''Series/{{Friends}}'' episode "The One With The List" has Joey make a suggestion to a girl, mistaking the word "threesome" for two words.
--> "I got two words for you. Threesome."
* On ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace'':
-->''I've got two words for you, Sanch. Tele... Kinesis.''
* During Creator/HarryEnfield's sketch "The Yorkshireman", a character calls something a 'shite', and since they said it was two words, they repeat the first word again.
--> "I've two words to say to that: shite!"\\
"What's the other one?"\\
"Shite!"
* In ''Series/HillStreetBlues'', one detective tried to remind another why they should stay away from a flirty high-school girl, but they made "statutory" two words.
* ''Series/{{Hustle}}'' has an exchange between Ash and Danny, where Danny is threatening a lawsuit and Ash is mocking his intelligence:
-->'''Danny:''' ... I'll be using three of my favourite words. "Unsubstantiated", "Libelous" and "Court Case".
-->'''Ash:''' "Court Case" is two words.
-->'''Danny:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I used a bloody hyphen!
* In the original Australian version of ''Series/KathAndKim'', there's a RunningGag of Kath saying two or three words after saying, "Now, I've got one word to say to you, Kimmy..." The running gag climaxes with the following quote:
-->'''Kath:''' Now Kimmy look at me. I've got one word to say to you: Move out tout-de-suite, go back to Brett. Get real, you'll never get any better!
* ''Series/TheKingOfQueens'' has a short gag with Arthur badly choosing his statements, culminating in his admitting that it wasn't working out when he predicted how many words he was trying to use.
--> Arthur: I've got two words; I'm staying right here!\\
Carrie: [[LampshadeHanging That's four words!]]\\
Arthur: Well, here's another four: screw you!\\
Carrie: Dad, that's two words.\\
Doug: Arthur, maybe you should stop saying how many words you're going to say in advance.\\
Arthur: Yeah, once you do that, you're pretty much trapped in a hole, eh?
* Bo, from ''Series/LostGirl'', tries to recover from his miscounting by claiming the words were hyphenated, which makes them single words.
-->'''Bo:''' Two words: Lauren, kiss my ass. ...Lotta hyphens in that one.
* In the ''Series/TheMonkees'' episode "Monkee vs. Machine", Mike tells Peter not to argue with him, and Peter immediately disputes with him over the pedantry of his statement.
-->'''Mike''': Remember these three little words: Don't argue.\\
'''Peter''': That's two words.\\
'''Mike''': You're starting already.
* On an episode of ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000,'' Joel is complaining, and Dr. Forrester responds with "Two words, Joel: Get Overit", even extending a finger for each "word".
* The first season of ''Series/TheOffice'', some of Tim's papers are on Gareth's desk and he makes a ruckus about it while Tim is on a sales call. Gareth doesn't miscount the number of words he's using, but he also tries to specify the number of ''syllables'' in his word as well. Sadly, "demarcation" is four syllables, not two.
--> '''Tim''': What are you doing?\\
'''Gareth''': One word, Two Syllables, Demarcation.
* The magician Creator/RudyCoby, in one of his TV specials, invokes TwoWordsAddedEmphasis, while an offscreen character's prediction is corrected:
-->'''Rudy Coby:''' Everything you've seen today can be explained with just one word:\\
'''Offscreen Guy:''' Hairspray.\\
'''Rudy Coby:''' No, hair spray is ''two'' words. One word: ''science''.
* In ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'', JD is dismissing another character, and catches himself in the middle of his miscounted sentence, pointing out the additional number he needed.
--> "Three words. Sucks to be, adding a fourth, you!"
* In an episode of ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' where George is trying to break his engagement to Susan, Kramer suggests, "Two words: pre-nup."
* In the third season of ''Series/SlingsAndArrows'', developing the rivalry between the musical cast and the young members of the King Lear cast has one of the characters suggest "Three words: Stink Bomb".
* In ''Series/ThirtyRock'', Donaghy announces "one word: surge", and Tracy attempts to "correct" him.
-->'''Donaghy''': One word: Surge.\\
'''Tracy''': [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} That's two words]]!
* From ''Series/TheWestWing'':
** During a presidential debate Bartlet's opponent Robert Ritchie (a Bush parody) claims that Bartlet will try and excuse high federal costs with one big word: 'Unfunded Mandate'. In his rebuttal, Bartlet is quick to point out that that's actually two words, undercutting Ritchie's dramatic statement.
** The series {{lampshaded}} a Vinick adviser's mistake in the season six episode "In God We Trust". The adviser recommended that the senator continue to repeat four words, but Bartlet pointed out there were five words in the statement.
---> "Fully respect Reverend Butler's position"\\
"That's five words."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Music]]
* Denis Leary's song "Asshole": "Two words... Nuclear fuckin' weapons!"
* Played with in Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "This Song's Just Six Words Long". The song itself has a lot more words than that. The ''title'' is exactly six words; however, [[MonDeGreen many people assume]] he's singing "This song is just six words long", which would make it the wrong number.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* In ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty'', the newly personality-reversed Steve Dallas attempts to convince his old, vapid girlfriend Quiche to look at things the way he now does, but she's not interested in playing along with his "one word" association game.
--> '''Steve:''' Now I want you to say the first word that comes to mind when I say this: Celibacy.\\
'''Quiche:''' Don't let the door hit you on the way out.\\
'''Steve:''' That's ''ten'' words...
* [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=2005&addr=050422 The April 22, 2005]] strip of ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' has Jon on the phone, trying to get a date with Ellen. He miscounts "restraining order" as a single word.
-->'''Jon''': Ellen, how's about I zip over to your place and serenade you with my accordion? ''[BeatPanel]'' “Restraining order” is such an ugly word, Ellen.\\
'''Garfield''': That's two words, dummy.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
* Paul Heyman, in a shoot-promo, fired off an often quoted version during the first ever "ECW One Night Stand" pay-per-view event, addressing members of WWE's RAW and SmackDown! brands who had crashed the show - in particular, Adam "Edge" Copeland. He counted Matt Hardy's name as two words, but inserted [[AtomicFBomb Freaking]] in the middle. Edge's response was [[SpitTake to spit out his beer]] and yell back, "That's three words, Paul!" And then used Matt Hardy's signature hand motion to indicate that it is indeed 3 words.
-->'''Heyman:''' * I* have two words for you...\\
''(Paul steps halfway through the ropes, then flaps his hands outward)''\\
'''Heyman: MATT FREAKING HARDY!'''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Theatre]]
* Christy from Creator/MartinMcDonagh's ''Theater/TheLieutenantOfInishmore'' miscounts "splinter group" and is corrected by Padraic.
-->'''Christy:''' Does the word "splinter group" mean anything to ya?\\
'''Padraic:''' "Splinter group?" Splinter group's two words.
* Creator/GilbertAndSullivan's ''Theatre/ThePiratesOfPenzance'' has pirate Samuel say the line:
-->''"Permit me, I'll explain in two words: we propose to marry your daughters."''
:: This being G&S, the director often has fun with it. One production has it rendered as "We propose-to-marry-your-daughters" (with the pirate counting the words on his fingers, and being surprised when he reaches six) while another has three separate pirates deliver two words each. Others have a pirate deliver the first two, "We propose," and have the Major-General be confused or offended that he's being proposed to before the sentence continues.
* OlderThanSteam: ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'' Act 2, Scene 2 contains Juliet prefacing her lines with "three words", when she uses three lines of eleven syllables each.
-->'''JULIET''': Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed.\\
If that thy bent of love be honourable,\\
Thy purpose marriage, send me word to-morrow
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Video Games]]
* Phil from the ''Disney/{{Hercules}}''-themed world in ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts'') [[RunningGag was always getting "two words" wrong.]]
** When he messed this up in ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts,'' Goofy even ''[[LampShading counted]]'' the words and got confused when he heard four instead of two.
-->"Two words: You guys. Ain't. Heroes!"
** In ''[[KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories Chain of Memories]]'', it comes with a LampshadeHanging:
-->'''Phil:''' Two words: You ain't heroes!\\
'''Sora:''' That's not right!\\
'''Goofy:''' Yeah, he said three words.
** Then of course:
-->'''Phil:''' Now remember, the best way to become a hero comes down to two words.\\
'''Goofy:''' *Starts counting on his fingers, Sora and Donald watch*\\
'''Phil:''' Eat. Bathe. Sleep.\\
'''Sora/Donald/Goofy:''' *Start laughing*
** ''VideoGame/KingdomHeartsBirthBySleep'' has Ventus do the same thing Goofy did.
-->'''Phil:''' Two Words: Student. Teacher. Ratio.\\
'''Ven:''' *Counting on his fingers* One. Two. Huh?
%%** ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts358DaysOver2'' has him make at least one of these almost every mission he appears in. Also {{lampshaded}} when Roxas [[spoiler: gets memory flashes of Sora during the first game]] every time Phil does it. %%GENERIC EXAMPLE, please add at least one example of when Philocretes makes the mistake.
* Hoxton, in ''VideoGame/PAYDAY2'', adds "fucking" when describing the [[PrisonRape dangers of Thursdays]] in Hazelton Prison, but forgets to count it in the "two words" he's presenting.
--> '''Hoxton''': Two words: fucking Kinky Night.
* In ''VideoGame/PokemonBlack2andWhite2'', call Hugh on the Xtransceiver before going to reversal mountain to ask where he is, and he'll count "Reversal Mountain" as one word, and then correct himself.
-->'''Hugh''': One word, Reversal Mountain. No wait, that's two words.
* In ''VideoGame/StarFox64'', if you fail to defeat all of the Star Wolf members in Fortuna (but shoot at least Wolf and Leon down), Pigma will tease you as he retreats by breaking "loser" into two words.
--> ''I got two words for ya: LO-SER!!!''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Webcomics]]
* ''Webcomic/TheDreadful'' has Liz planning to join a mostly non-human faith. She misunderstands most of the facts of this faith, emphasized when her answer to one question is simply "Two words: Polygamy."
* In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-01-31 this]] ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' strip, Captain Tagon is telling the woman who is technically his boss, to move. "Why are you issuing orders to me, Tagon?" "Two words: Bomb on Board."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Web Original]]
* The internet reviewer {{Creator/Benzaie}} does this for amusement value, where he will sum up a game in two words, at least one of the words being four or five words all squished together; For example, he sums up the UsefulNotes/SegaGenesis adaptation of ''Bram Stoker's Dracula'' as "Two words: Franchise/{{Castlevania}}ripoff withagaymusic!" For additional comical effect, he can still mangle his description somehow even if it '''is''' just two words: "Two words: Abo Nus!" (A Bonus).
* In one of the [[https://youtu.be/dTa-eC2uzcs Flash animations]] Wizards of the Coast made to promote ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons 4th Edition'' a troll being interviewed by a mind flayer says "Three words: Re- gener- uhhhhhhhhh -ation."
* In the ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' short [[http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail110.html "for kids"]], Strong Bad reacts to seeing Homsar's TV show for preschoolers, acknowledging after the fact that he had miscounted how many words he was going to use in the review.
-->'''Strong Bad:''' I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES. [[LampshadeHanging I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS]].
* In the ''WebVideo/{{Jacksfilms}}'' video "Your Grammar Sucks #60", [[https://youtu.be/nC9OX4pfjjE?t=142 one of the atrocious comments is "I can sum it up in three words. Evolution is a lie".]] This promptly gets {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d by the singer, who stares in disbelief at the other versions of himself onscreen.
* ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick'' reviewed ''Film/{{Armageddon}}'', where Harry Stamper did more than just "two words" at a time. [[RunningGag Always messing it up.]] One in particular ("AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!") had The Nostalgia Chick baffled and starting to count.
* LetsPlay/TheRunawayGuys' playthrough of ''VideoGame/NewSuperMarioBrosU'' {{Lampshade|Hanging}} the effect when they encounter Miiverse posts that begin with "Two words:" and follow it with a different number of words.
* ''WebVideo/UltraFastPony'', in "The Longest Engagement", as Pinkie Pie is planning Cadance's wedding reception.
-->'''Pinkie:''' Okay, I'm just gonna say one word, one word about your reception. And it's gonna blow your mind! ''[...]'' Anyway, here it is: Water balloons.
-->'''Princess Cadance:''' That was two words. I am disgusted and unhappy!
-->'''Pinkie:''' Don't worry, I'll keep working on it!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' is a comedy sketch series that loves to subvert drama and often miscounts their words.
--> "Three words....Thigh Monster."
--> "In two words...Bubba is hot!"
* ''WesternAnimation/CowAndChicken'' episode "Bad Chicken" has three examples, including one where the character realizes how they miscounted, but miscount a ''second'' time as well.
-->'''Teacher:''' Two words: "Beak washed out with soap!" Okay, ''three'' words!
-->'''[[CriminalDoppelganger Paper Chicken]]:''' I got three words for youse: ''bye''!
Then later...
-->'''Chicken:''' [[IronicEcho Three words: good bye!]]
* When Cosmo, of ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents'', told Timmy about "mouthwash", but counted it as two words, until Timmy corrected him, prompting him to repeat the word.
--> "I have two words for you: Mouthwash." \\
"Then I'll say it twice. Mouthwash! Mouthwash!"
* ''WesternAnimation/JohnnyBravo'': "I've only got two words for you mister: no!"
* In ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'', when Ron and Monique are forced to do a project together and Ron blows it off, Monique asks why she should do all the work. Ron, who knows Monique cares about her grades, holds up four fingers and ticks off a finger with each word: "Four words: Grade point average". And then he licks some cheese he notices on the one remaining finger.
* ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'':
** Candace says "I've got two words for you mum, Ge-la-tin!", followed by her mum looking confused.
** In response to [[ItMakesSenseInContext Phineas urging Perry to drop them into a boiling pit of doom]], Candace says: "Two Words: LA-VA!"
* ''WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle''
** One character:
-->"In a word: No Thank You!"\\
"That's three words."
** Another one:
-->"In a word: You said it!"\\
"That's three words!"\\
"I'm a heavy tipper."
* ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'': Spongebob is surprised to see Patrick and asks his friend why he's here, and Patrick splits "nachos" into two words.
-->'''Patrick:''' Two words: Na-chos.
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Squidbillies}}'', Pestilence (of the HorsemenOfTheApocalypse) declared who he was in "one word": "Apocalyptic horseman".
--> One word: Apocalyptic horseman, fool!
* ''WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987'':
--> "Well, to put it in a simple word: GET OUTTA HERE!"
* ''WesternAnimation/SheZow'':
--> '''Guy''': I have three simple words for you, Kelly: loophole.
--> '''Kelly''': That's one word.
--> '''Guy''': Word up!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Real Life]]
* Major League Baseball pitcher and one tough Dominican, the late Joaquin Andujar:
--> "There is one word in America that says it all, and that one word is, 'You never know.'"
* Legendary {{Malaproper}} and studio head Sam Goldwyn (the "G" in "MGM") is alleged to have responded "In two words: Im-Possible!" to a proposal he didn't like.
* Sports Commentary - Darts commentator Sid Waddell famously said "There's only one word for that: magic darts!"
[[/folder]]
----
-> "I can give you his description in three words ... an insensate, ugly, stupid blockhead. That's four, but no matter ..."
--> --Rosalie Murray, ''Literature/AgnesGrey''
%%Definition
While TwoWordsAddedEmphasis adds to the drama of a moment, failing to count your words correctly undercuts the emphasis made by announcing the number of words a character plans to use, and makes the character look slightly more foolish. Counting is usually a simple task, and people usually only try one to four words when emphasizing their statements this way. So failing to count correctly moves the emphasis from the character's point to making the scene or character using it somewhat more comical.
The key aspect of this trope is a dissonance between the words declared and the words used. Contractions like "can't", "won't", "ain't" can all be used for one/two words. A character that says, "Four words: It wasn't me." and a character that says "Three words: It wasn't me." are both counting their words correctly, even if they are counting differently. A character who says "Three words: It was ''not'' me." messed up, because even if they intended the contraction, they forgot to use it.
Rarely, we have examples of the speaking character giving the right number, but getting "corrected" by another character who miscounted.
----
!!Examples:
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Advertising]]
* A 1980s commercial for Alka Seltzer cold medicine where a group of construction workers touted the product; one of them said "in a word: it works."
* From an 80s car commercial starring Creator/JimVarney as Ernest P. Worrell: "I've got one word for you, Vern, new car!"
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8h0aMVtKLg A PlayStation3 commercial]] featuring Advertising/KevinButler, claimed "montage" is two words.
-->'''Customer''': Dear PlayStation! Just got my [=PS3=]! So whatcha got?\\
'''Kevin Butler''': What do I got? Two words: mon, tage.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film - Animated]]
* A RunningGag in Disney's ''Disney/{{Hercules}}'' (the movie, the TV series, ''and'' the Hercules-themed world in ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts'') is that every time Philocetes attempts TwoWordsAddedEmphasis, he gets the count wrong.
-->"I got two words for ya kid--I am retired!"\\
\\
"What is that?!"\\
"Two words -- am-scray!" (PigLatin for scram, for those under a rock.)\\
\\
Hercules (imitating Phil): Two words: Duck!
** After the "retired" line, a confused Hercules is then seen counting it out. As a BilingualBonus, "I am retired" ''is'' two words in Ancient Greek.
** The one time he ''did'' have the right number, in his song "One Last Hope", he was forced to make a LastSecondWordSwap.
-->'''Phil''': "My answer is ''two words''..." [[BoltOfDivineRetribution (Gets hit by lightning)]] "...o-kay."
* During ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory2'', Stinky Pete was explaining the reason for the declining popularity of ''Woody's Roundup''; "Two words: Sput Nik." Stinky Pete was referring to unmanned Russian satellite ''Sputnik'', the beginning of the "Space Race".
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film - Live Action]]
* ''Film/AliGInDaHouse'' has a character tell people their two words: "Keep It Real!". This is of course immediately pointed out that that's ''three'' words, and [[LampshadeHanging it's followed by a debate on whether "it" counts as a word because of how short it is.]]
* Harry Stamper uses a variety of word lengths in ''Film/{{Armageddon}}''. One in particular was "AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!".
* In ''Film/DudeWheresMyCar'', after Jesse and Chester get thrown out of the twins' house, one of the characters splits the word "management" into two words.
-->"I got three words for you! Anger manage ment!"
* In ''Film/MidnightRun'' Walsh is grows aggravated by Mardukas' nagging, finally telling him to "shut up".
-->'''Mardukas''': Jack, you're a grown man. You have control over your own words.\\
'''Walsh''': You're God damn right I do, so here come two for you; "shut the fuck up".
* In ''Film/ReservoirDogs'', Mr. Pink says the line, "Two words: learn to fucking type."
* ''Film/TrueLies'': One of the characters breaks the word "insane" into two words: "Okay, I've got two words for that: In. Sane."
* After the villain in ''Film/TankGirl'' screams in Tank Girl's face, she counts "your teeth" as one word.
-->''"I got two words for you...Brush your teeth!"''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Literature]]
* Rosalie Murray, in ''Literature/AgnesGrey'', describes Mr Weston negatively. Her animosity leads her to describe four negative traits instead of the three she announced. She corrects herself immediately after.
--> "I can give you his description in three words ... an insensate, ugly, stupid blockhead. That's four, but no matter ..."
* In parts of Steven Brust's ''Literature/{{Dragaera}}'' series, someone who leads with "if I might say two words...", or any variation of that, inevitably launches into an extended exposition, much longer than their supposed "two words".
* In ''Discworld/MovingPictures'', the word "impossible" is counted as two words by a secondary character. Fans assume this is a reference to legendary Hollywood producer Samuel Goldwyn, {{malaproper}} and simile-mangler extraordinaire.
--> "In a word -- im-possible!" \\
"That's two words," said Dibbler.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Live-Action TV]]
* Kara [=DioGuardi=], the new judge on ''Series/AmericanIdol'', critiqued a contestant with "six words: one of the best performances of the night." Creator/RyanSeacrest mocked her on the next episode by introducing her as "three words: Kara [=DioGuardi=]."
* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'': Raj suggests a way out of a jam to Howard, but gets confused because "3-D" is an acronym for three-dimensional.
-->Two words. 3-D printer. (beat) Wait. Or is that three words?
* Shawn's attempt to dissuade his friend on ''Series/BoyMeetsWorld'' runs into a stumbling block as he stops at the correct number of words, but then realizes that he didn't say enough to make his point.
-->'''Shawn:''' Here's what I got for you - Two Words: Uncle Mike's\\
''<{{Beat}}>''\\
'''Shawn:''' I'm gonna need more words.
* ''Series/TheCommish'': One episode opens with Tony on the phone to a friend inviting him out to dinner, when the friend refuses, Tony wants to know why. The friend attempts to be succinct, by using "forget about it" as one word.
-->'''Friend:''' One word: Forget about it.
* Hank from ''Series/CornerGas'' counts "boycott" as two words.
--> '''Hank:''' Two words: Boycott.
* In the first episode of ''Series/ForeverKnight'', Nick Knight has been unwillingly partnered with Don Schanke, who is telling Nick he's a better cop thanks to his gut instincts. Just then Nick goes roaring up an alley because his vampire super-hearing has picked up a woman being murdered. When Schanke asks how he knew, Nick says sarcastically, "Three words: In-tu-ition."
* ''Series/{{Friends}}'' episode "The One With The List" has Joey make a suggestion to a girl, mistaking the word "threesome" for two words.
--> "I got two words for you. Threesome."
* On ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace'':
-->''I've got two words for you, Sanch. Tele... Kinesis.''
* During Creator/HarryEnfield's sketch "The Yorkshireman", a character calls something a 'shite', and since they said it was two words, they repeat the first word again.
--> "I've two words to say to that: shite!"\\
"What's the other one?"\\
"Shite!"
* In ''Series/HillStreetBlues'', one detective tried to remind another why they should stay away from a flirty high-school girl, but they made "statutory" two words.
* ''Series/{{Hustle}}'' has an exchange between Ash and Danny, where Danny is threatening a lawsuit and Ash is mocking his intelligence:
-->'''Danny:''' ... I'll be using three of my favourite words. "Unsubstantiated", "Libelous" and "Court Case".
-->'''Ash:''' "Court Case" is two words.
-->'''Danny:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I used a bloody hyphen!
* In the original Australian version of ''Series/KathAndKim'', there's a RunningGag of Kath saying two or three words after saying, "Now, I've got one word to say to you, Kimmy..." The running gag climaxes with the following quote:
-->'''Kath:''' Now Kimmy look at me. I've got one word to say to you: Move out tout-de-suite, go back to Brett. Get real, you'll never get any better!
* ''Series/TheKingOfQueens'' has a short gag with Arthur badly choosing his statements, culminating in his admitting that it wasn't working out when he predicted how many words he was trying to use.
--> Arthur: I've got two words; I'm staying right here!\\
Carrie: [[LampshadeHanging That's four words!]]\\
Arthur: Well, here's another four: screw you!\\
Carrie: Dad, that's two words.\\
Doug: Arthur, maybe you should stop saying how many words you're going to say in advance.\\
Arthur: Yeah, once you do that, you're pretty much trapped in a hole, eh?
* Bo, from ''Series/LostGirl'', tries to recover from his miscounting by claiming the words were hyphenated, which makes them single words.
-->'''Bo:''' Two words: Lauren, kiss my ass. ...Lotta hyphens in that one.
* In the ''Series/TheMonkees'' episode "Monkee vs. Machine", Mike tells Peter not to argue with him, and Peter immediately disputes with him over the pedantry of his statement.
-->'''Mike''': Remember these three little words: Don't argue.\\
'''Peter''': That's two words.\\
'''Mike''': You're starting already.
* On an episode of ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000,'' Joel is complaining, and Dr. Forrester responds with "Two words, Joel: Get Overit", even extending a finger for each "word".
* The first season of ''Series/TheOffice'', some of Tim's papers are on Gareth's desk and he makes a ruckus about it while Tim is on a sales call. Gareth doesn't miscount the number of words he's using, but he also tries to specify the number of ''syllables'' in his word as well. Sadly, "demarcation" is four syllables, not two.
--> '''Tim''': What are you doing?\\
'''Gareth''': One word, Two Syllables, Demarcation.
* The magician Creator/RudyCoby, in one of his TV specials, invokes TwoWordsAddedEmphasis, while an offscreen character's prediction is corrected:
-->'''Rudy Coby:''' Everything you've seen today can be explained with just one word:\\
'''Offscreen Guy:''' Hairspray.\\
'''Rudy Coby:''' No, hair spray is ''two'' words. One word: ''science''.
* In ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'', JD is dismissing another character, and catches himself in the middle of his miscounted sentence, pointing out the additional number he needed.
--> "Three words. Sucks to be, adding a fourth, you!"
* In an episode of ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' where George is trying to break his engagement to Susan, Kramer suggests, "Two words: pre-nup."
* In the third season of ''Series/SlingsAndArrows'', developing the rivalry between the musical cast and the young members of the King Lear cast has one of the characters suggest "Three words: Stink Bomb".
* In ''Series/ThirtyRock'', Donaghy announces "one word: surge", and Tracy attempts to "correct" him.
-->'''Donaghy''': One word: Surge.\\
'''Tracy''': [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} That's two words]]!
* From ''Series/TheWestWing'':
** During a presidential debate Bartlet's opponent Robert Ritchie (a Bush parody) claims that Bartlet will try and excuse high federal costs with one big word: 'Unfunded Mandate'. In his rebuttal, Bartlet is quick to point out that that's actually two words, undercutting Ritchie's dramatic statement.
** The series {{lampshaded}} a Vinick adviser's mistake in the season six episode "In God We Trust". The adviser recommended that the senator continue to repeat four words, but Bartlet pointed out there were five words in the statement.
---> "Fully respect Reverend Butler's position"\\
"That's five words."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Music]]
* Denis Leary's song "Asshole": "Two words... Nuclear fuckin' weapons!"
* Played with in Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "This Song's Just Six Words Long". The song itself has a lot more words than that. The ''title'' is exactly six words; however, [[MonDeGreen many people assume]] he's singing "This song is just six words long", which would make it the wrong number.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* In ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty'', the newly personality-reversed Steve Dallas attempts to convince his old, vapid girlfriend Quiche to look at things the way he now does, but she's not interested in playing along with his "one word" association game.
--> '''Steve:''' Now I want you to say the first word that comes to mind when I say this: Celibacy.\\
'''Quiche:''' Don't let the door hit you on the way out.\\
'''Steve:''' That's ''ten'' words...
* [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=2005&addr=050422 The April 22, 2005]] strip of ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' has Jon on the phone, trying to get a date with Ellen. He miscounts "restraining order" as a single word.
-->'''Jon''': Ellen, how's about I zip over to your place and serenade you with my accordion? ''[BeatPanel]'' “Restraining order” is such an ugly word, Ellen.\\
'''Garfield''': That's two words, dummy.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
* Paul Heyman, in a shoot-promo, fired off an often quoted version during the first ever "ECW One Night Stand" pay-per-view event, addressing members of WWE's RAW and SmackDown! brands who had crashed the show - in particular, Adam "Edge" Copeland. He counted Matt Hardy's name as two words, but inserted [[AtomicFBomb Freaking]] in the middle. Edge's response was [[SpitTake to spit out his beer]] and yell back, "That's three words, Paul!" And then used Matt Hardy's signature hand motion to indicate that it is indeed 3 words.
-->'''Heyman:''' * I* have two words for you...\\
''(Paul steps halfway through the ropes, then flaps his hands outward)''\\
'''Heyman: MATT FREAKING HARDY!'''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Theatre]]
* Christy from Creator/MartinMcDonagh's ''Theater/TheLieutenantOfInishmore'' miscounts "splinter group" and is corrected by Padraic.
-->'''Christy:''' Does the word "splinter group" mean anything to ya?\\
'''Padraic:''' "Splinter group?" Splinter group's two words.
* Creator/GilbertAndSullivan's ''Theatre/ThePiratesOfPenzance'' has pirate Samuel say the line:
-->''"Permit me, I'll explain in two words: we propose to marry your daughters."''
:: This being G&S, the director often has fun with it. One production has it rendered as "We propose-to-marry-your-daughters" (with the pirate counting the words on his fingers, and being surprised when he reaches six) while another has three separate pirates deliver two words each. Others have a pirate deliver the first two, "We propose," and have the Major-General be confused or offended that he's being proposed to before the sentence continues.
* OlderThanSteam: ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'' Act 2, Scene 2 contains Juliet prefacing her lines with "three words", when she uses three lines of eleven syllables each.
-->'''JULIET''': Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed.\\
If that thy bent of love be honourable,\\
Thy purpose marriage, send me word to-morrow
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Video Games]]
* Phil from the ''Disney/{{Hercules}}''-themed world in ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts'') [[RunningGag was always getting "two words" wrong.]]
** When he messed this up in ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts,'' Goofy even ''[[LampShading counted]]'' the words and got confused when he heard four instead of two.
-->"Two words: You guys. Ain't. Heroes!"
** In ''[[KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories Chain of Memories]]'', it comes with a LampshadeHanging:
-->'''Phil:''' Two words: You ain't heroes!\\
'''Sora:''' That's not right!\\
'''Goofy:''' Yeah, he said three words.
** Then of course:
-->'''Phil:''' Now remember, the best way to become a hero comes down to two words.\\
'''Goofy:''' *Starts counting on his fingers, Sora and Donald watch*\\
'''Phil:''' Eat. Bathe. Sleep.\\
'''Sora/Donald/Goofy:''' *Start laughing*
** ''VideoGame/KingdomHeartsBirthBySleep'' has Ventus do the same thing Goofy did.
-->'''Phil:''' Two Words: Student. Teacher. Ratio.\\
'''Ven:''' *Counting on his fingers* One. Two. Huh?
%%** ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts358DaysOver2'' has him make at least one of these almost every mission he appears in. Also {{lampshaded}} when Roxas [[spoiler: gets memory flashes of Sora during the first game]] every time Phil does it. %%GENERIC EXAMPLE, please add at least one example of when Philocretes makes the mistake.
* Hoxton, in ''VideoGame/PAYDAY2'', adds "fucking" when describing the [[PrisonRape dangers of Thursdays]] in Hazelton Prison, but forgets to count it in the "two words" he's presenting.
--> '''Hoxton''': Two words: fucking Kinky Night.
* In ''VideoGame/PokemonBlack2andWhite2'', call Hugh on the Xtransceiver before going to reversal mountain to ask where he is, and he'll count "Reversal Mountain" as one word, and then correct himself.
-->'''Hugh''': One word, Reversal Mountain. No wait, that's two words.
* In ''VideoGame/StarFox64'', if you fail to defeat all of the Star Wolf members in Fortuna (but shoot at least Wolf and Leon down), Pigma will tease you as he retreats by breaking "loser" into two words.
--> ''I got two words for ya: LO-SER!!!''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Webcomics]]
* ''Webcomic/TheDreadful'' has Liz planning to join a mostly non-human faith. She misunderstands most of the facts of this faith, emphasized when her answer to one question is simply "Two words: Polygamy."
* In [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-01-31 this]] ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' strip, Captain Tagon is telling the woman who is technically his boss, to move. "Why are you issuing orders to me, Tagon?" "Two words: Bomb on Board."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Web Original]]
* The internet reviewer {{Creator/Benzaie}} does this for amusement value, where he will sum up a game in two words, at least one of the words being four or five words all squished together; For example, he sums up the UsefulNotes/SegaGenesis adaptation of ''Bram Stoker's Dracula'' as "Two words: Franchise/{{Castlevania}}ripoff withagaymusic!" For additional comical effect, he can still mangle his description somehow even if it '''is''' just two words: "Two words: Abo Nus!" (A Bonus).
* In one of the [[https://youtu.be/dTa-eC2uzcs Flash animations]] Wizards of the Coast made to promote ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons 4th Edition'' a troll being interviewed by a mind flayer says "Three words: Re- gener- uhhhhhhhhh -ation."
* In the ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' short [[http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail110.html "for kids"]], Strong Bad reacts to seeing Homsar's TV show for preschoolers, acknowledging after the fact that he had miscounted how many words he was going to use in the review.
-->'''Strong Bad:''' I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES. [[LampshadeHanging I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS]].
* In the ''WebVideo/{{Jacksfilms}}'' video "Your Grammar Sucks #60", [[https://youtu.be/nC9OX4pfjjE?t=142 one of the atrocious comments is "I can sum it up in three words. Evolution is a lie".]] This promptly gets {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d by the singer, who stares in disbelief at the other versions of himself onscreen.
* ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick'' reviewed ''Film/{{Armageddon}}'', where Harry Stamper did more than just "two words" at a time. [[RunningGag Always messing it up.]] One in particular ("AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!") had The Nostalgia Chick baffled and starting to count.
* LetsPlay/TheRunawayGuys' playthrough of ''VideoGame/NewSuperMarioBrosU'' {{Lampshade|Hanging}} the effect when they encounter Miiverse posts that begin with "Two words:" and follow it with a different number of words.
* ''WebVideo/UltraFastPony'', in "The Longest Engagement", as Pinkie Pie is planning Cadance's wedding reception.
-->'''Pinkie:''' Okay, I'm just gonna say one word, one word about your reception. And it's gonna blow your mind! ''[...]'' Anyway, here it is: Water balloons.
-->'''Princess Cadance:''' That was two words. I am disgusted and unhappy!
-->'''Pinkie:''' Don't worry, I'll keep working on it!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' is a comedy sketch series that loves to subvert drama and often miscounts their words.
--> "Three words....Thigh Monster."
--> "In two words...Bubba is hot!"
* ''WesternAnimation/CowAndChicken'' episode "Bad Chicken" has three examples, including one where the character realizes how they miscounted, but miscount a ''second'' time as well.
-->'''Teacher:''' Two words: "Beak washed out with soap!" Okay, ''three'' words!
-->'''[[CriminalDoppelganger Paper Chicken]]:''' I got three words for youse: ''bye''!
Then later...
-->'''Chicken:''' [[IronicEcho Three words: good bye!]]
* When Cosmo, of ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents'', told Timmy about "mouthwash", but counted it as two words, until Timmy corrected him, prompting him to repeat the word.
--> "I have two words for you: Mouthwash." \\
"Then I'll say it twice. Mouthwash! Mouthwash!"
* ''WesternAnimation/JohnnyBravo'': "I've only got two words for you mister: no!"
* In ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'', when Ron and Monique are forced to do a project together and Ron blows it off, Monique asks why she should do all the work. Ron, who knows Monique cares about her grades, holds up four fingers and ticks off a finger with each word: "Four words: Grade point average". And then he licks some cheese he notices on the one remaining finger.
* ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'':
** Candace says "I've got two words for you mum, Ge-la-tin!", followed by her mum looking confused.
** In response to [[ItMakesSenseInContext Phineas urging Perry to drop them into a boiling pit of doom]], Candace says: "Two Words: LA-VA!"
* ''WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle''
** One character:
-->"In a word: No Thank You!"\\
"That's three words."
** Another one:
-->"In a word: You said it!"\\
"That's three words!"\\
"I'm a heavy tipper."
* ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'': Spongebob is surprised to see Patrick and asks his friend why he's here, and Patrick splits "nachos" into two words.
-->'''Patrick:''' Two words: Na-chos.
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Squidbillies}}'', Pestilence (of the HorsemenOfTheApocalypse) declared who he was in "one word": "Apocalyptic horseman".
--> One word: Apocalyptic horseman, fool!
* ''WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987'':
--> "Well, to put it in a simple word: GET OUTTA HERE!"
* ''WesternAnimation/SheZow'':
--> '''Guy''': I have three simple words for you, Kelly: loophole.
--> '''Kelly''': That's one word.
--> '''Guy''': Word up!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Real Life]]
* Major League Baseball pitcher and one tough Dominican, the late Joaquin Andujar:
--> "There is one word in America that says it all, and that one word is, 'You never know.'"
* Legendary {{Malaproper}} and studio head Sam Goldwyn (the "G" in "MGM") is alleged to have responded "In two words: Im-Possible!" to a proposal he didn't like.
* Sports Commentary - Darts commentator Sid Waddell famously said "There's only one word for that: magic darts!"
[[/folder]]
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