History Main / LovedINotHonorMore

* In ''Theatre/CriticsChoice'', Parker quotes the TropeNamer word for word in the part of TheGrovel where he tells Angela that he will never again entertain the possibility of softening his {{Caustic Critic}}ism to please her.

---> '''Bradley''': My wife understands. She is the woman that ''I'' chose to live by my side. There are no more words that need to pass between us now. That's what it means to be the wife of the Führer.

* After being a CelibateHero for a long time Franchise/{{Superman}} switched to this trope and married ComicBook/LoisLane, though occasionally he'd slip into AlwaysSaveTheGirl DependingOnTheWriter.

%%* ''ComicBook/TheLegendOfZeldaALinkToThePast1992'': Link grows distant after Ganon's defeat, dedicating his life to guarding the Triforce.

* In ''Fanfic/TheDesertStorm'', this is discussed as part of the problem the Jedi have with attachment by Ben (a temporally displaced Obi-Wan), as if this mentality is ''not'' upheld, then good intentions can turn into JumpingOffTheSlipperySlope remarkably quickly. Even when [[spoiler: Obi-Wan ends up leading the Order's reforms on marriage, in light of his own marriage to Satine - where they do their best to handle the strain of him being a Jedi Knight, and then one of its youngest Masters, and thus very busy, and her being ''Jorad'alor'' a.k.a. Prime Minister of a rebuilding Mandalore, which means that a) she is even busier, b) she has to be a MoralityPet and a MoralityChain to ''Jango Fett''. In the end, the duties of a Jedi must come first, and you can't swear contradictory vows, but that doesn't have to be the only thing in your life.]]
* DoubleSubverted in "Fanfic/TheSilenceEnds". The fic starts off with Lieutenant Commander Tyria Sark actually ''avoiding'' this trope by having requested shore duty so she could be with her husband and their daughter: in the present day she's a naval history instructor in a Starfleet ROTC program. However, Starfleet requests her to return to field service as first officer of the USS ''Warsaw'', which she accepts after talking it over with her husband. This continues after the TimeSkip, at which point she's the captain of the USS ''Black Prince'' and hasn't been able to visit Jolin and Sameen in a year and a half.
* Deconstructed by ''Fanfic/SalvageTheRemnants'' -- Shen Qingqiu knew Yue Qingyuan needed to be the Emperor before he could be his lover, but he nonetheless suffered from their ever-growing distance and their relationship ultimately imploded.

-->'''Kirk''': I did what you wanted. I stayed away. Why didn't you tell him?
-->'''Carol''': How can you ask me that? Were we together? Were we going to be? You had your world and I had mine. And I wanted him in mine, not chasing through the universe with his father. Actually, he's a lot like you. In many ways. Please tell me what you're feeling.
-->'''Kirk''': There's a man out there I haven't seen in fifteen years who's trying to kill me. You show me a son that'd be happy to help him. My son... My life that could have been, and wasn't. And what am I feeling? Old. Worn out.

* Invoked in ''[[{{Literature/Nightside}} A Hard Day's Knight]]'', complete with the TropeNamer quotation.
* The Franchise/StarWarsLegends continuity likes this one.
** Before Exar Kun's War, which marked the rise of numerous competing force philosophies, this was the policy for Jedi. The Force and the Order would always come first, but marriage and family were ''not'' forbidden. Shortly after Exar Kun's defeat, the Order made their rules stricter to avoid the dangers of the other philosophies. After Luke Skywalker took charge, this policy was reinstated… then again, do ''you'' want to be the guy telling Han Solo "I forbid you from marrying my sister?"
** Also applies to Han and Leia. In the ''Literature/TheThrawnTrilogy'', Han reflects that as much as he hates seeing Leia go into danger without him, her determination to risk her life in the service of a good cause is a big part of why he loves her. And Leia several times thinks something very similar, though she has to suppress a tinge of protectiveness towards Han that's strikingly reminiscent of her father towards her mother.
** In ''[[Literature/HandOfThrawn Vision of the Future]]'', Luke becomes part of a BattleCouple with Mara; they are wed in ''ComicBook/StarWarsUnion''. The short story [[http://star-wars.suvudu.com/2011/02/star-wars-tim-zahn-judges-call-short-story.html "Judge's Call"]] makes it clear that both of them put the Jedi first - but Luke is entirely willing to put non-emergency things aside to make time for just them together.
* A standing issue in the ''Literature/HeraldsOfValdemar'' series, since the average Herald doesn't live long enough to die of old age. Many Heralds, for this reason, never settle down with a single partner (though all viewpoint characters do, of course) and many minor Heralds instead go for promiscuity and short-term liaisons; it's also mentioned that people who married before being called to become Heralds often find their marriage suffering as a result. On the other hand, many Heralds do manage to form lasting relationships with other Heralds or with non-combatants, and simply accept that their duties are likely to often separate them from their lover and that they will probably die first.
** Healers suffer a milder variation of this. A Healer has a calling, and so will often have to drop everything to solve an emergency or be assigned somewhere on a moment's notice, which tends to put a cramp on alone time with her spouse. Probably for this reason, there are actually a few Healer-Herald couples in the series which work out well.
** It's addressed directly in ''Magic's Pawn'' when Tylendel and Vanyel discuss their future. It seems that when Tylendel becomes a full-on Herald Mage, his passion for justice ("the hunger," other characters call it) and for using his powers to help others will cause him to put his calling as a Herald first and foremost. Vanyel is willing to accept that, even though (at the time) he doesn't understand it. [[spoiler: Unfortunately, they never get that far, as shortly after this discussion, Tylendel's twin brother is assassinated, causing him to go mad.]]
* In ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'':
** Michael Carpenter is a modern day Paladin who wields a real holy sword Amoracchius. [[note]]Excalibur to be exact.[[/note]] And he will take missions from God that take him away from his wife and seven children. He doesn't always like it, but has faith in God's plans. So he always puts God first. [[spoiler:This no longer applies at the end of ''Literature/SmallFavor'' when he is retired by being crippled to the point he can no longer carry the sword.]]
** The elder Queens of the Unseelie Court, Queen Mab, Queen of Air and Darkness, and her mother, Mother Winter, embody this idea. Both have a caring side, a loving side even. Mab genuinely loves her daughter Maeve, the Winter Lady, but the duties she holds as Queen, and Mother Winter in her own, take precedence. Mab will complete her duties, even if she must die herself or sacrifice 10,000,000 soldiers. If she is needed, her job as Queen takes first priority. Her job? Besides ruling over a kingdom of cutthroat psychotic murderers and monsters is [[spoiler:defending the gates of Reality itself, to prevent the cessation of all Existence]]. And [[spoiler:when Mab discovers her own daughter has become a willing agent of the forces she fights, she is unable to truly commit to her duties, prolonging Maeve's life and freedom when it is clear she must be stopped. For this reason, Mother Winter calls Mab a romantic]].
** In ''Literature/SkinGame'' [[spoiler:Waldo Butters]] takes up this role. He made a choice to help protect a friend's house while the friend was away. The Bad guys are attacking and the hero realizes he won't be able to stop them from killing his friend's family and burning the house to kill all inside. So, he makes a choice and chooses to sacrifice himself in hopes of buying time for help to get there. He tells his spirit ally to depart after a few minutes, to return to his primary base, where the woman he loves is waiting, and tell the woman what happened and that he loves her.
* In''Literature/DaggerEyes'', Princess Alanitora rejects her childhood best friend after his {{LoveConfession}} because she has more important moral dilemmas to deal with, most notably the fact that her kingdom is in danger of collapse. When he fights her against this, she goes so far [[spoiler: as to abandoning him in the woods, before leaving with the rest of her traveling party]]
* From the ''Literature/HonorHarrington'' novels come [[spoiler:Eloise Pritchart]] and [[spoiler:Javier Giscard]]. He's an admiral in [[spoiler:the [[PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny People's Republic of Haven]]'s Navy]], and she is the [[spoiler:[[PoliticalOfficer People's Commissioner]] assigned to watch him]]. Entirely unexpectedly, they [[spoiler:mutually discovered that they were both dedicated to the long-dead original Constitution of the ''Republic'' of Haven]], and subsequently fell in love with each other. Despite the risk of a traitor's execution if they were found out, they [[SecretRelationship hid their relationship]] from [[spoiler:StateSec]] for years, until they [[spoiler:finally became part of the coup that overthrew the Committee and restored the true Republic]]. She then became [[spoiler:Haven's first genuinely elected President in two centuries]], while he was the military's highest-ranking serving officer. All throughout their relationship, both unflinchingly accept that their duty to cause and country must come first, which only serves to make the moments where they ''can'' be together all the more poignant.
** [[spoiler:Eloise]] forgives [[spoiler:Honor]] for killing [[spoiler:Javier]] at the Battle of Lovat, in order to forge a lasting peace between [[spoiler:the Republic and Manticore]] and allow them to ally with each other against their ''real'' enemies, [[spoiler:the Solarian League and its puppetmasters in the Mesan Alignment]].
* In later books of ''Literature/TheOldKingdom,'' it seems that Sabriel and Touchstone, as Abhorsen and [[RoyalsWhoActuallyDoSomething hands-on King]], have constantly put their callings above their marriage and their duties to their children [[BattleCouple (although they can always slay Dead together)]]. The first book showed in lavish detail what happens when the Abhorsen and King are ''not'' active in the Kingdom, so they're not shown as being selfish or mean -- it's just a bad situation. Sabriel does look forward to her son Sam taking on the mantle of Abhorsen-in-Waiting, as that means they'll get to spend time together.
** Sabriel's own father, Terciel, sent his daughter to a boarding school in another country/world/dimension (not really clear) because he couldn't afford to put his Abhorsen duties on hold enough to raise a child. Also [[MadOracle the Clayr told him to.]]
* This is a recurring theme of Belisarius and Antonina's marriage in the ''Literature/BelisariusSeries''; Antonina customarily spends the morning after Belisarius leaves for a campaign without her in their estate's stables, staring at a horse (but not actually getting on it to ride out after her husband... at least not after the first time).
* ''Literature/{{RCN}}'': In ''Death's Bright Day'', Daniel is recruited for a covert mission at his own wedding reception, and has to leave for the mission from the end of his honeymoon. His new bride Miranda talks about it some in the first third of the book: it's far from the first time during their relationship that they've been apart due to Daniel's naval career, but she laments that it will probably ''always'' be like this for them.
* Literature/{{Discworld}}:
** Captain Carrot has shades of this in his relationship with Angua. Not that [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent Angua]] is lacking ways to protect herself. And as a fellow police officer herself, she's involved with the same things that Carrot is. But he demonstrates the trope whenever a conflict between his relationship and his duties as a policeman does arise:
---> '''Vimes:''' He [[spoiler: killed Angua]]. Doesn't that mean anything to you?\\
'''Carrot:''' Yes. But personal isn't the same as important.
** Commander Samuel Vimes, Carrot's commanding officer, generally abides by this trope. Not even his wedding ceremony is spared when he chases after a criminal who comes across his vision mid-ceremony. The only break to this trope is when it comes to his son Samuel Jr. and reading the boy his favorite book at 6 o'clock each night. Nothing will stop him. Even Carrot will reroute traffic so Sam's coach can reach young Sam by the appropriate time, resulting in a massive delay in traffic on the detour. Even when Commander Vimes is miles away [[spoiler:and fighting against an abomination of vengeance that is driving him mad and to kill unarmed villains]] he starts reciting the book by memory, bellowing at the top of his lungs. Interestingly, his crying son seems to hear him.
** Death, the anthropomorphic representation of that state of existence, has a daughter by adoption he cares for in his own way, and by his daughter a granddaughter named Susan. However, his duties as Death sometimes conflict with his mortal loved ones.
*** When [[spoiler:it came for his daughter and her husband to die, he didn't forgo his job, and escorted them into what comes next, for he cannot give more time to people. The only choice he gave them was to spend their moments before dying in his time-less realm allowing them to live for as long as they desire]].
*** In the ''Thief of Time'' when some mortal is setting off events that will lead to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse riding out causes conflict with his granddaughter who doesn't want the world to end. While he doesn't like the idea of the Apocalypse happening, he must follow his Duty and over the course of the book, finds his fellow Horsemen to complete their Duty as well. [[spoiler:And when they are gathered together, the do ride out to protect the world from the oncoming Apocalypse because the prophecy said nothing of which side they would need to support]].
*** War, one of Death's fellow Horsemen, in ''Thief of Time'', is revealed to be a HenpeckedHusband by his Valkyrie wife. However, when the times comes, he finds himself, placed his helmet upon his head and joins the Horsemen to their Duty, impressing her, making his wife blush a little, and reminding her of who her husband used to be.
* {{Discussed}} by C.S. Lewis in ''Literature/TheFourLoves''.
* In ''[[Literature/TheBelgariad Polgara the Sorceress]]'', Polgara wants more than anything to stay by the side of her [[FirstLove beloved]] [[TheChampion champion]], [[LadyAndKnight Count Ontrose]], and fight for the city (and him) during the fall of Vo Wacune -- but as Ontrose himself reminds her, they ''both'' have greater responsibilities, and hers aren't to Vo Wacune but to the people of her own Duchy of Erat, which is still at risk but might yet be saved if she leaves him behind and organizes its defense. It nearly kills her to leave him, but she does, and manages to save her duchy. He dies during the siege, but she carries his memory with her for the rest of her life, even after she's [[SecondLove married and a mother]] [[ReallySevenHundredYearsOld two thousand years later]].
* ''Literature/SaintGeorgeAndTheDragon'': The brave knight tells the king that he can't stay because he has sworn to give knight's service to the Fairy Queen for six years. He marries Una, but still rides away to fulfill his oath at the end. It says he came back later to be with her and rule after the king.
* In ''Literature/TheMillOnTheFloss'' Maggie Tulliver refuses to marry Stephen Guest even though they are mutually in love and he has ruined her reputation by spending the night with her (no sex!), because he is already engaged to her cousin who loves him deeply.
* Explicitly discussed twice in ''Literature/TheSharingKnife: Legacy''. Early in the book as Dag's [[BigScrewedUpFamily quasi-estranged mother]] Cumbia tries to [[FantasticRacism drive off]] her [[{{Muggle}} Farmer]] [[MalignedMixedMarriage daughter-in-law]] Fawn she points out that once a Patroller has seen a [[EldritchAbomination Malice]] they will hunt them until crippled or dead because they either prioritize that quest over love for any living person or feel they must defend those they love beyond all sense from the greatest threat they can imagine. Towards the end, after Fawn sees what a Malice did to the Farmer hamlet of Greenspring and learns of an effort to force Dag to repudiate her on pain of expulsion from the Patrol or outright banishment, tells Dag of the prior conversation and admits she would be willing (if not by any means happy) to stand aside if he were forced to make such a choice.
-->"To keep you, there's a lot of things I'd fight tooth and toenail. Your kin, my kin, another woman, sickness, farmer stupidity, you name it. Can't fight Greenspring. ''Won't''."

-->The glory, my Jeannie,
-->Maun plead my excuse
-->Since honour commands me, how can I refuse
-->Without it I ne'er can have merit for thee
-->And losing thy favour I'd better not be

* Don José tries to do this in Act II of ''Theatre/{{Carmen}}'', resolving to leave the titular gypsy rather than desert the army as she demands. Unfortunately, just as he's about to walk out, his commander Lt. Zuniga walks in to have his own way with Carmen - [[CrazyJealousGuy José attacks him]], leaving himself with no choice but to run away with Carmen after all.
* Racine's ''Bérénice'' and Corneille's ''Tite et Bérénice'' dramatize the same historical incident: the new Roman emperor Titus must renounce his love for the Judaean princess Berenice to satisfy the Roman people's disapproval of her, and for the good of Rome.

'''Zuko:''' ''Mai,'' I never wanted to hurt you, but I have to do this to save my country.

** Of course, this all turns out [[spoiler: to be an elaborate ruse. Turns out Lizzie is actually a member of the Galactic Kids Next Door with the implications that her pretending to be his girlfriend was part of an elaborate test regarding his loyalty. Ironically, while Nigel passes, Lizzie would end up turning against the GKND due to their inane ambitions.]]