History Main / Feghoot

** [[https://danceswithphantoms.tumblr.com/post/105903503723/a-couple-is-walking-in-st-petersburg-square-on A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve ...]][[spoiler:[[note]]This has the same punchline as the Viking joke from the Comedy folder.[[/note]]]]

** [[https://danceswithphantoms.tumblr.com/post/105903503723/a-couple-is-walking-in-st-petersburg-square-on A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve ...]]

* There was once a legendary Viking known as Rudolf the Red. His story started out rather humble, coming from a small clan that focused more on surviving the harsh winters of the North than doing much raiding of their fellow clans, but the one thing they did have was what essentially amounted to the world's earliest form of a meteorologist, a "shaman" who could predict the weather to almost the ''minute'' that it would arrive; they used this to their advantage, being able to tell when it was safe for their hunters to go out for food, and when they should take cover from any nasty storms blowing their way. Eventually, they prospered and grew, moving south into (slightly) more temperate climes so they could begin actually acting like Vikings, staging raids along the Eastern English Coast. Rudolf, once an apprentice of the Shaman, soon learned his trade, and used this knowledge himself during his raids, watching the weather patterns and being able to tell precisely when a violent North Sea storm would strike and where--he would then lead his raiding parties to attack just before and after the storms hit, at the points when the English villages were at their most vulnerable. This method made Rudolf the Red's clan--and by extension Rudolf himself--very rich and famous. Eventually, old Rudolf's axe-arm wasn't what it used to be, and at the urging of his wife, he finally decided to retire, but he never lost his eye for the weather, continuing his studies into meteorological phenomena as a sort of a hobby. One day, he and his wife were sitting at their hut, Rudolf watching the skies as intently as ever. His wife, whom had never much attention to his interests (what with having to take care of the village while he was out a-Viking), looked at him and asked what he was doing. Rudolf, without looking away, said "It's going to rain." This, of course, confused his wife even more, so she asked how he knew, to which Rudolf replied, "Because [[spoiler: [[Literature/RudolphTheRedNosedReindeer Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear]]."]]

* There was once a legendary Viking known as Rudolf the Red. His story started out rather humble, coming from a small clan that focused more on surviving the harsh winters of the North than doing much raiding of their clans, but the one thing they did have was what essentially amounted to the world's earliest form of a meteorologist, a "shaman" who could predict the weather to almost the ''minute'' that it would arrive; they used this to their advantage, being able to tell when it was safe for their hunters to go out for food, and when they should take cover from any nasty storms blowing their way. Eventually, they prospered and grew, moving south into (slightly) more temperate climes so they could begin actually acting like Vikings, staging raids along the Eastern English Coast. Rudolf, once an apprentice of the Shaman, soon learned his trade, and used this knowledge himself during his raids, watching the weather patterns and being able to tell precisely when a violent North Sea storm would strike and where--he would then lead his raiding parties to attack just before and after the storms hit, at the points when the English villages were at their most vulnerable. This method made Rudolf the Red's clan--and by extension Rudolf himself--very rich and famous. Eventually, old Rudolf's axe-arm wasn't what it used to be, and at the urging of his wife, he finally decided to retire, but he never lost his eye for the weather, continuing his studies into meteorological phenomena as a sort of a hobby. One day, he and his wife were sitting at their hut, Rudolf watching the skies as intently as ever. His wife, whom had never much attention to his interests (what with having to take care of the village while he was out a-Viking), looked at him and asked what he was doing. Rudolf, without looking away, said "It's going to rain." This, of course, confused his wife even more, so she asked how he knew, to which Rudolf replied, "Because [[spoiler: [[Literature/RudolphTheRedNosedReindeer Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear]]."]]