History Main / FauxlosophicNarration

* In the ''Series/DoctorWho'' serial ''[[DoctorWhoS17E5TheHornsOfNimon The Horns of Nimon]]'', Soldeed interprets everything Nimon says as this.

* ''Film/TheBeastOfYuccaFlats'' was comprised almost entirely of the director Creator/ColemanFrancis performing this sort of narration to avoid having to sync the soundtrack. Much of it has nothing to with the movie. Flag on the moon. How did it get there? A man murdered. A woman's purse. Nothing bothers some people. Not even flying saucers. A couple vacations, unaware of scientific progress. Man's inhumanity to man. Flag on the moon. [[ScienceIsBad Caught... in the wheels of progress]].

* ''Film/FatalInstinct'': Parodied in-universe, with the protagonist's internal monologue being comprised of constant non-sequiturs, nonsensical analogies, and meaningless insights.

* Done to GreenLantern by Tommy Monhagan in ''ComicBook/{{Hitman}}''. Kyle Rayner is hoodwinked from all sides and ends up helping Tommy put the smack down on homicidal government agents. He ends waxing Fauxlosophic after the adventure. Before Kyle comes to his senses and arrests Tommy, he sneaks off.

* Kreia from ''KnightsOfTheOldRepublic II'' skirts this trope for the majority of her dialog, but tends to pull off something more to the effect of ContemplateOurNavels.

----

** The narrator of ''The Scary Door'' intros tends to do this as well, in a spoof of ''Series/TheTwilightZone''. And boy howdy do they play with it:

* ''Anime/EurekaSeven'''s next episode previews. This one is pretty ingenious, actually – it actually ''is'' relevant, usually, but the ambiguous language ("the boy" and "the girl" instead of "Renton" and "Eureka", for example) makes it sound like it could be talking about anything. Renton making his in-episode monologues addressed to his sister often treat into this as well.

%%* Same for ''Anime/{{Gasaraki}}''.
%%* Also the same for ''Manga/ElfenLied''.

* ''Anime/EurekaSeven'''s next episode previews. This one is pretty ingenious, actually – it actually ''is'' relevant, usually, but the ambiguous language ("the boy" and "the girl" instead of "Renton" and "Eureka", for example) makes it sound like it could be talking about anything, because that's not [[SarcasmMode pretentious or anything.]] Renton making his in-episode monologues addressed to his sister often treat into this as well.

When a movie, television show, or other such narrative wants to create the illusion of more depth than it actually possesses, it can use FauxlosophicNarration to have some character, whether it be protagonist, villain (especially the StrawNihilist), or innocent bystander, (especially ThePhilosopher) talk about "Big Topics", like [[Franchise/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy Life, the Universe, and Everything]]. This overall doesn't add anything to the story; rather the intent is to put more FauxSymbolism and MindScrew (TrueArtIsIncomprehensible, after all), and make the story's characters and events seem grander and more fantastic, while also being increasingly vague. This usually backfires, as the faux intellectualism is both insulting and distracting to anyone who has the brains to figure out this narrator is speaking a lot of words and phrases and clauses that [[MeaninglessMeaningfulWords don't actually mean anything]], and in-universe, this just ends up as a RedHerring.

* Any film narrated by Creator/WernerHerzog (e.g., ''Film/EncountersAtTheEndOfTheWorld'', ''Film/GrizzlyMan'', ''Cave of Forgotten Dreams''). All of Herzog's musings are ([[AdamWesting presumably]]) meant in earnest but some of his more out-there ideas, delivered in his unmistakable voice, have been known to provoke laughter.

* The entréee of each and every serving of the ''KingdomHearts'' franchise. Cutscenes are riddled with existential positing on the subject of hearts, darkness, power, light, [[DontExplainTheJoke nothingness]], or [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotDidactic destiny of the heart of darkness against the power of light and destiny]].

When a movie, television show, or other such narrative wants to create the illusion of more depth than it actually possesses, it can can use FauxlosophicNarration to have some character, whether it be protagonist, villain (especially the StrawNihilist), or innocent bystander, (especially ThePhilosopher) talk about "Big Topics", like [[Franchise/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy Life, the Universe, and Everything]]. This overall doesn't add anything to the story; rather the intent is to put more FauxSymbolism and MindScrew (TrueArtIsIncomprehensible, after all), and make the story's characters and events seem grander and more fantastic, while also being increasingly vague. This usually backfires, as the faux intellectualism is both insulting and distracting to anyone who has the brains to figure out this narrator is speaking a lot of words and phrases and clauses that [[MeaninglessMeaningfulWords don't actually mean anything]], and in-universe, this just ends up as a RedHerring.

* ''Anime/ErgoProxy'', to the point of overuse - practically to the point of parody.

* ''Anime/CodeGeass'' tends to do this during the PreviouslyOn segments that are part of several episodes. They feature narration from C.C., trying to sound deep, describing Lelouch's situation in abstract terms ("The actions one takes are answered by consequences...") and finishing with something like, "At least, that was the hope Lelouch carried in his heart back then," or "But their fate has already been determined, with inevitable outcome." That last one is particularly noteworthy, since it actually ''contradicts'' a theme of the series - the constant ForWantOfANail moments, the way Lelouch's entire argument against his eventual enemies [[spoiler: his father and Schneizel]] is that humanity should have free will and shouldn't be controlled by either of their plans. So thanks for that, C.C.

* Used for effect in the [[PostEpisodeTrailer Post Episode Trailers]] for ''VisualNovel/HigurashiWhenTheyCry'' in it's first season. The text that flies across the screen appears to be far more relevant to the next episode, and the deeper voice that talks stuff sounds like FauxlosophicNarration -- until you watch the second season when you realize exactly ''whose'' voice it is and ''how'' relevant it actually is to the ''real'' central plot.

* Parodied in ''Film/TheBigLebowski'': the narrator is not only WrongGenreSavvy, but can't keep his fauxlosophy straight and keeps getting sidetracked. At one point he repeats "Sometimes there's a man" a few times before trailing off and stating that he lost his train of thought. He eventually just gives up ("Aw, hell, I done introduced him enough."), and at the very end even [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] it ("Huh - I'm ramblin' again."). Ironically, the last time he realizes this and gives up is when he's actually on the verge of making a sage, relevant point for once.

* ''Film/AnatomyOfHell'', a cold, sexually-explict, coma-inducing arthouse film by Creator/CatherineBreillat. As put by Creator/RogerEbert: "''They talk. They speak as only the French can speak, as if it is not enough for a concept to be difficult, it must be impenetrable. No two real people in the history of mankind have ever spoken like this, save perhaps for some of Breillat's friends that even she gets bored by. "Your words are inept reproaches," they say, and "I bless the day I was made immune to you and all your kind.''"
* The opening and closing of ''Film/SuckerPunch'' involves narration about guardian angels, and taking back the power, which are basically [[spoiler:Sweet Pea's musings okn the role that Baby Doll played in her life and, more immediately, springing her from the BedlamHouse]]. They also state that you have power in your own life. It ends ''You have all the weapons you need, now'' '''FIGHT'''.
* Tons of {{Mondo}}-style films. To quote [[http://horror-movie-a-day.blogspot.ca/2009/01/faces-of-death.html a review]] of ''Film/FacesOfDeath'', "we get long stretches where real or not, the footage has no death. And at one point, there aren’t any "faces" either, because the movie stops cold(er) for a good ten minutes to warn us about the dangers of littering and pollution. I bet your schoolyard pal never boasted about the cool scene where you see a bunch of beer and soda cans on a beach. We also get lectured on hunger, World War II, nuclear weapons, and being careful while hiking."

* ''Series/{{Heroes}}'' has a few of these, with one of the main characters, Mohinder, starting and ending each episode with a philosophical note that extrapolate on the events of that episode (and some that merely capitalize on the mood). Occasionally other characters, such as Linderman or Sylar, got in on the act, usually exhibiting their own dark tones to deviate from Mohinder's, usually, more positive narration.

--->'''Hotch''': ... ends.

* ''Series/TheTwilightZone1959''. Rod Serling's opening and closing monologues are simultaneously brilliant and brain-twisting. One generally needs to re-listen to Serling's soliloquoys three or four times before they stop sounding like so much word salad and start making sense. It's honestly just easier to [[http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Twilight_Zone_(1959_TV_series) read them]]. A lot of this is due to Serling's gumshoe delivery, which adds a healthy dose of mystery to what would otherwise be a commonplace prologue or summation.

* ''Series/{{Touch}}'' (from the same producer as ''Heroes'') begins and ends each episode with a rambling philosphical monologue from Jacob, which tend to follow the same pattern as Mohinder's speeches. One episode begins with him talking about how army ants are amazing because they can cooperate, then ends with a discussion about how humans are amazing because they are the only species that knows how to cooperate.

** The openings reek of fauxpraganda a la ''Film/StarshipTroopers'' - probably intentional.

* R.A. Salvatore used to fall into this. Especially in [[Literature/TheDarkElfTrilogy Drizzt series]] that contain pages of his journal with musings of the protagonist on matters like morality, faith, and emotion. However, Drizzt ''was'' very young (by elven standards), grew up in a rather isolated city and had education focused less on what local high priestesses or even wizards learn and more on swinging a pair of oversized razors and not dying while trying to wage war in caverns full of ridiculously deadly critters... through which he later wandered alone until gone half feral. It's not like he could do much better when trying to make sense of the suddenly complex world.

A product of the desire to ContemplateOurNavels, and maybe of attempts to do a PrivateEyeMonologue. [[IThoughtItMeant Is not used so that]] EvilSoundsDeep. When the author uses this to convey a message, it can overlap with AuthorTract. When a ''character'', not the author, does this, it becomes HoldingTheFloor. If particularly nonsensical, this can become WordSaladPhilosophy or IceCreamKoan.

* Played for laughs in the special 100th episode of ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', which features this InnerMonologue from Gummy the alligator.

* The special 100th episode of ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' features this InnerMonologue from Gummy the alligator.

--->'''Mulder:''' "Voodoo priests of Haiti! Tibetan numerologists of Appalachia! The unsolved mysteries of... ''UnsolvedMysteries''!"

* ''Series/TheOuterLimits'', both original and 90s revival, had the Control Voice give one of these speeches. Say it with me: "Do not attempt to adjust your set..."

* ''MyInnerLife'' is a huge example of this. Jenna attempts to convince the readers that she is a deep, philosophical thinker in her prologue about dreams and past incarnations. The story is about Jenna's deluded fantasy that she was a Mary Sue of epic proportions in an alternate universe.

[[folder:Film]]

* Subverted in ''Film/StrangerThanFiction'' The narration means something, even the scenes that appear to be random filler fold into Emma Thompson's story, and when the narrator talks about objects and events being meant to save our lives, she is talking literally...and literarily.

--> '''Deckard''': I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life, anybody's life, my life. All he'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die.

* This makes up about half of ''JasonXDeathMoon''.

[[folder:Videogames]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]

A product of the desire to ContemplateOurNavels, and maybe of attempts to do a PrivateEyeMonologue. [[IThoughtItMeant Is not used so that]] EvilSoundsDeep. When the author uses this to convey a message, it can overlap with AuthorTract. When a ''character'', not the author, does this, it becomes HoldingTheFloor. If particularly nonsensical, this can become WordSaladPhilosophy.

* ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya'' tends to have some of this from Koizumi. Though knowing this series, the things he say might be laced with significance down the line.

-->--''VideoGame/MaxPayne''

** This often pops up in the promos of self-proclaimed geniuses and/or lunatics. Then there's fellows like the UltimateWarrior, where even the other people behind the scene can't tell whether it's an [[MethodActing unbelievably in-depth put-on]] or [[CloudCuckooLander they really believe the insanity coming out of their mouths]].

* ''Series/{{Oz}}'' often included odd narration segments from Augustus Hill (Who is also a main character) regarding the theme of the episode. Sometimes They were beautiful and insightful. Other times They were just bizarre. He also delivered exposition on prisoners and Their crimes, making his exact nature (Augustus as a character couldn't possibly know some of the facts) somewhat ambiguous.