History Main / BlatantLies

26th Jan '17 9:24:37 AM tiger64guy
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[[folder:Not Webcomics]]
* In ''Webcomic/OperationReboot'', Shae feeds a story to her mother that is completely absurd (though much less so than her brother's). Hilariously, her mother buys it anyway.
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23rd Jan '17 6:49:56 PM MiddleEighth
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*Many instances of the four telling these about their background in ''Fanfic/TheKeysStandAlone: The Soft World'' because they have no intention of telling the truth to people they distrust/dislike (which is pretty much everyone). And it's all taken completely seriously, because there are so many outworlders with odd backgrounds on C'hou that ''everything'' is plausible.
22nd Jan '17 4:11:02 AM TheCuza
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[[folder:Not Jokes]]
* A man gets yelled at by his wife for routinely getting so drunk that he vomits all over himself. One night, while at the bar, one of his drinking buddies gives him some advice: if he puts 20 bucks in his coat pocket, he can claim to his wife that he was vomited on by someone else who gave him money for drycleaning as an apology. The man thinks this is a brilliant idea and proceeds to drink until vomiting over himself as usual. When he gets home, he is greeted by his wife.
-->'''Wife:''' I thought I told you to stop drinking so much! Now I have to clean the vomit off your clothes ''again''!\\
'''Husband:''' Wait, it wasn't me this time! Some other guy vomited on me and he even gave me 20 bucks for drycleaning to say he was sorry! I swear I'm telling the truth, just check my coat pocket if you don't believe me!\\
''[The wife checks the husband's coat and pulls out two $20 bills]''\\
'''Wife:''' Hey, there's 40 bucks in here. What's the other 20 for?\\
'''Husband:''' Oh yeah, I forgot. [[spoiler:He also shit in my pants]].
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29th Dec '16 11:18:30 AM Tron80
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** ''ComicBook/SupergirlCosmicAdventuresInTheEightGrade'': Kara tells Superman that her parents chained her to a rocket and banished her to Earth because she asked her mother politely and respectfully if she could pass the salt. His disapproving frown and folded arms indicated clearly that he wasn't buying it.
19th Dec '16 11:43:24 PM LucaEarlgrey
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* If someone tells you "No offense, but..." most of the time they're about to say anything that ''is'' offensive, usually BrutalHonesty.
19th Dec '16 11:42:39 PM LucaEarlgrey
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* If someone tells you "No offense, but..." most of the time they're about to say anything that ''is'' offensive, usually BrutalHonesty.
19th Dec '16 7:37:23 AM DisillusionedColony
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* On a more tragic (and hillarious if you're a fan of dark and gallows humour) note, the entirety of the soviet trials against traitors, assasins, counter-revolutionaries, terrorists and whatnot during Stalin's era revolved around this. Basically Stalin started using the secret police to force oponents (real and, most often than not, potential or imaginary) or just people he didn't like or had fulfilled their purpose, to confess to outlandish crimes, and accuse someone else or some vague, ominous force, of being part of a conspiracy to destroy the Soviet Union. Then he would use that confession to accuse more people, who would then be forced to confess, and then THOSE confessions would be used against others. It reached a point where Stalin ordered a stop to the whole process because 1)they had almost completely vanquished any and all capable leaders and highly skilled officers, and 2) they ralised that continuing on this exponential rate required more manpower than the one they had to carry on the interrogations and sentences. So he promptly accused the head of the NKVD (Nikolai Yezhov) tasked with all this endless massacre of plotting to assasinate him and destroy the Soviet Union BY ELIMINATING ALL CAPABLE MEMBERS OF THE PARTY AND CREATING A BRUTAL SECRET POLICE FORCE ACCOUNTABLE TO NO-ONE (and also of being a pervert, [[PornStash having a massive porn stash]] and being gay, which was a recurring theme in all accusations), had him interrogated and killed. At the end of these proceedings Stalin preseted himself as not knowing the full scope of these atrocities and blamed all of his subordinates for misinterpreting his words. Then praised the marvellous result of erradicating all those people.
** The [[ Constitution of the Soviet Union]], also redacted by order of Stalin, was this taken to eleven. It was made partly to appease those horrified of Stalin's brutality, so they would let their guard down while Stalin prepared the next batch of executions.

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* On a more tragic (and hillarious if you're a fan of dark and gallows humour) note, the entirety of the soviet trials against traitors, assasins, counter-revolutionaries, terrorists and whatnot during Stalin's era revolved around this. Basically Stalin started using the secret police to force oponents (real and, most often than not, potential or imaginary) or just people he didn't like or had fulfilled their purpose, to confess to outlandish crimes, and accuse someone else or some vague, ominous force, of being part of a conspiracy to destroy the Soviet Union. Then he would use that confession to accuse more people, who would then be forced to confess, and then THOSE confessions would be used against others. It reached a point where Stalin ordered a stop to the whole process because 1)they 1) they had almost completely vanquished any and all capable leaders and highly skilled officers, executives and workers, and 2) they ralised realised that continuing on this exponential rate required more manpower than the one they had to carry on the interrogations and sentences. So he promptly accused the head of the NKVD (Nikolai Yezhov) tasked with all this endless massacre of plotting to assasinate him and destroy the Soviet Union BY ELIMINATING ALL CAPABLE MEMBERS OF THE PARTY AND CREATING A BRUTAL SECRET POLICE FORCE ACCOUNTABLE TO NO-ONE (and also of being a pervert, [[PornStash having a massive porn stash]] and being gay, which was a recurring theme in all accusations), had him interrogated and killed. At the end of these proceedings Stalin preseted himself as not knowing the full scope of these atrocities and blamed all of his subordinates for misinterpreting his words. Then praised the marvellous result of erradicating all those people.
** The [[ [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitution_of_the_Soviet_Union Constitution of the Soviet Union]], also redacted by order of Stalin, was this taken to eleven. It was made partly to appease those horrified of Stalin's brutality, so they would let their guard down while Stalin prepared the next batch of executions.
14th Dec '16 11:37:45 PM EricW
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* In ''Fanfic/TheGreatDisneyAdventure'', Kelsey tells Megara a completely fictional story of a boyfriend who cheated on her in order to encourage her.
10th Dec '16 8:17:02 AM Tron80
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[[folder:Not Comics]]

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[[folder:Not Comics]]Comic Books]]



* In ''Comicbook/DemonSpawn'', Linda Danvers -alias Kara Zor-El, Comicbook/{{Supergirl}}- is so fed up of putting up with her co-worker 'Nasty''s bullying that she punches a wall, which makes people wondering if a plane just crashed into the building. When her boss Geoff inquires what happened and what was that loud boom coming from her office, Linda replies "Oh, nothing!". Of course, he doesn't believe her.

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* ''Comicbook/{{Supergirl}}'':
**
In ''Comicbook/DemonSpawn'', Linda Danvers -alias Kara Zor-El, Comicbook/{{Supergirl}}- is so fed up of putting up with her co-worker 'Nasty''s bullying that she punches a wall, which makes people wondering if a plane just crashed into the building. When her boss Geoff inquires what happened and what was that loud boom coming from her office, Linda replies "Oh, nothing!". Of course, he doesn't believe her.her.
** In ''[[Comicbook/{{Supergirl 1982}} Supergirl Volume 2]]'' #20, Linda asks her then-boyfriend Phil Decker about his latest unexplained absence. He lies so bad that Linda says “If you're going to lie, at least try to be consistent!”
14th Nov '16 11:58:48 PM Tron80
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* Subverted in a classic Silver Age comic of ''Franchise/TheFlash'' which ends with Iris wondering aloud about the timing of Barry's absences. Without missing a beat, Barry just tells her she's right: "One and one still makes one! [[CassandraTruth I'm the Flash]]!" Naturally, this flippant claim convinces Iris he's ''not''.

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* Franchise/TheFlash:
**
Subverted in a classic Silver Age comic of ''Franchise/TheFlash'' which ends with Iris wondering aloud about the timing of Barry's absences. Without missing a beat, Barry just tells her she's right: "One and one still makes one! [[CassandraTruth I'm the Flash]]!" Naturally, this flippant claim convinces Iris he's ''not''.



** Similarly, this line from ''ComicBook/{{Darkhawk}}'': [[SarcasticConfession "The best way to keep a good secret is to tell everybody -- then nobody believes you."]]

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** * In ''Comicbook/DemonSpawn'', Linda Danvers -alias Kara Zor-El, Comicbook/{{Supergirl}}- is so fed up of putting up with her co-worker 'Nasty''s bullying that she punches a wall, which makes people wondering if a plane just crashed into the building. When her boss Geoff inquires what happened and what was that loud boom coming from her office, Linda replies "Oh, nothing!". Of course, he doesn't believe her.
*
Similarly, this line from ''ComicBook/{{Darkhawk}}'': [[SarcasticConfession "The best way to keep a good secret is to tell everybody -- then nobody believes you."]]
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