History Funny / TheThickofIt

--> '''Glenn:''' ''CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT UP''... for one fucking minute? I'm asking nicely.

* Hugh, Glenn and Ollie frantically trying to come up with policy ideas in the back of a taxi after Malcolm tells them to dump the "Snooper Force" plans on their way to the announcement.

** Really, the entire scene is full of zingers. Another highlight is Jamie dismissing Cliff's draft statement as "[[{{Wangst}} self-pity and shit]]" that "sucks cock so deep, the bell-end is wearing your appendix as a little hat".

** And then Adam uses the fact that it was bought with taxpayers' money as a defence. As if that makes it any better.

** Later, Malcolm and Jamie send Ollie over to ITN to influence the news order. Jamie decides to check up on him.
--->'''Jamie:''' Hey, all right shitebag, you done it yet?
--->'''Ollie:''' I'm just in the middle of doing it right now, but every time I --
--->'''Jamie:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting WELL FUCKIN' HURRY UP!]] GET OFF THE FUCKIN' PHONE!'''''

* Glenn's frustration upon being presented with four boxes' worth of crime statistics to be published, having already already fed a huge pile of stats into the system.
-->'''Glenn:''' What the hell's this?
-->'''Ollie:''' It appears to be a trolley full of crime stats.
-->'''Glenn:''' Vandalism. Bicycle theft. Oh, this is ridiculous! ''[kicks over two of the boxes]''
-->'''Ollie:''' Well that's given us an unexpected head start, well done. I would kill you but I'd have to add you to the fucking figures.
** From the same episode, there's Nicola suggesting alternative sportspeople (besides Andy Murray) to endorse the "Healthy Choices" campaign, and Malcolm dismissing each one of them as "a boring fuck".

* Steve Fleming's general demeanour. His forced attempts at [[StepfordSmiler sounding friendly and personable]] invariably cause him to come across as a [[LaughingMad cackling maniac]].

* Steven Fleming's general demeanour. His forced attempts at [[StepfordSmiler sounding friendly and personable]] invariably cause him to come across as a [[LaughingMad cackling maniac]].

* [[spoiler:Steve Fleming]]'s exit.
-->'''[[spoiler:Steve]]:''' I am going to join Dan Miller's team and then we are going to take you down! We are gonna take you down to Funky Town! Funky Town centre, here you come! [[VillainousBreakdown CHOO FUCKING CHOO]]!

* In 4.06, the department-wide meltdown that takes place after Glenn and Terri send the wrong email that Adam and Fergus had them leak.

* Never mock Al Jolson in front of Jamie. Ever.
** "You take the piss out of Jolson again, I will remove your iPod from its tiny nano-sheath, and push it up your cock! Then I'll plug some speakers up your arse and put it on to shuffle with my fucking fist! And every time I hear something I don't like, which will be every time that something comes on, I will skip to the next track by crushing *your* balls.

--> '''Malcolm:''' I'm really sorry, you won't hear any more swearing from us, YOU MASSIVE GAY ''[[PrecisionFStrike SHITE]]''! Fuck off!"

* Ollie's visible glee while Malcolm is bollocking Phil: "You breathe a word of this to anyone, you mincing fucking '''CUNT''', I will tear your fucking skin off, I will wear it to your mother's birthday party, and I will rub your nuts up and down her leg while whistling Bohemian fucking Rhapsody, alright?

* Jamie's ill-fated attempt to turn Cliff Lawton, who is clearly still bitter about being sacked by Malcolm, into a viable prime ministerial candidate. After a disheartening phone call from Malcolm ("Cliff fuckin' Lawton. Hey, nice! Was the Cillit Bang guy not available?"), he gives up.

-->'''Cliff:''' This your thing, isn't it? Everything has to be in absolutes, everything has to be black and white. You know, "I love you, fuck off". There are lots of shades of grey, you know?

--->'''Jamie:''' Hey, all right shitebag, you done yet?

-->'''Jamie:''' Oh, I know that, I'm looking at fifteen of them right now.

** Later, Malcolm and Jamie send Ollie over to ITN to influence the news order. Malcolm decides to check up on him.
--->'''Ollie:''' It's not quite sorted yet, Malcolm, it's difficult.
--->'''Malcolm:''' Shall I send Jamie over? Would you like that? You and Jamie and a rubber truncheon locked in that fucking newsroom?
--->'''Ollie:''' No, I'm fine!
--->'''Malcolm:''' Then make me happy. Bring me sunshine.
*** And then:
---->'''Jamie:''' Hey, all right shitebag, you done yet?
---->'''Ollie:''' I'm just in the middle of doing it right now, but every time I --
---->'''Jamie:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting WELL FUCKIN' HURRY UP!]] GET OFF THE FUCKIN' PHONE!'''''

* Jamie's ill-fated attempt to turn Cliff Lawton, clearly still bitter about being sacked by Malcolm, into a viable prime ministerial candidate. After a disheartening phone call from Malcolm ("Cliff fuckin' Lawton. Hey, nice! Was the Cillit Bang guy not available?"), he gives up.

-->'''Jamie:''' Fuck off! You're not gonna be prime minister, you're not gonna be anything so fuck off.

* Glenn's meltdown in 4.07 is this crossed with a CrowningMomentOfAwesome as he roasts all the major players in DoSaC. And just when you think it can't get any better, he leaves with this: