History Funny / TheLordOfTheRings

* The ''Council of Elrond'' has a few, believe it or not:

** During the Council, Legolas explains how Gollum escaped the Mirkwood elves when they took pity on his wretchedness and gave him a little parole outside. Glóin is quite indignant; that little courtesy was not extended to ''him'' [[Literature/TheHobbit during his own stay there]].

*** Before that, Saruman makes this big fancy speech to Gandalf; when describing it to the Council, Gandalf snarkily comments that it sounded like Saruman had practiced it beforehand.

*** Before that, Saruman makes this fancy speech to Gandalf; when describing it to the Council, Gandalf snarkily comments that it sounds like Saruman had practiced it beforehand.

---->'''Gandalf''': He set me down in the land of Rohan ere dawn; and now I have lengthened my tale over long. The rest must be more brief. In Rohan I found evil already at work...

* At the "Prancing Pony," Frodo's attempts to go incognito quickly go awry. First, his chosen pseudonym of a "Mr. Underhill" researching for a book on Bree-hobbits attracts ''lots'' of attention as the actual Underhill family has many members in Bree and want to discuss genealogy, so that if Frodo actually wanted to write a book he had more material than he could ever possibly use. Then Pippin starts [[LooseLips getting overtalkative]] at the bar, so Frodo [[WeNeedADistraction diverts everyone's attention]] by pretending to be drunk and dancing on a table with a proto-version of "The Cat and the Fiddle".

* When Saruman is boasting about having become more powerful, he claims that he is no longer Saruman the White; he is Saruman of many colours. Gandalf replies, in typical blunt fashion,
-->[[DeadpanSnarker I liked white better.]]

* It's not funny in context, but Glóin's recounting of Mordor's embassy to Erebor really makes it sound like Sauron employs the worst salespeople in all of Middle-earth.
-->"Find [the Ring], and three rings that the Dwarf-sires possessed of old shall be returned to you, and the realm of Moria shall be yours for ever. Find only news of the thief, whether he still lives and where, and you shall have great reward and lasting friendship from the Lord. Refuse, and things will not seem so well. Do you refuse?"
* During the Council, Legolas explains how Gollum escaped the Mirkwood elves when they took pity on his wretchedness and gave him a little parole outside. Glóin is quite indignant; that little courtesy was not extended to ''him'' [[Literature/TheHobbit during his own stay there]].
** And Gandalf nips that argument in the bud by requesting that everyone stay on topic.
--->'''Gandalf''': If [[ElvesVersusDwarves all the grievances that stand between Elves and Dwarves]] are to be brought up here, we may as well abandon this Council.

* Gandalf says that if they searched Orthanc, they wouldn't find anything more valuable than what Grí­ma threw out the window (the palantír).
-->A shrill shriek, suddenly cut off, came from an open window high above.\\

'''Gollum''': No need, no need at all. Not if hobbits want to reach the dark mountains and go to see Him very quick. Back a little, and round a little, and you can come on hard cold roads to the very gates of His country. Lots of His people will be there looking out for guests, very pleased to take them straight to Him, O yes.\\

*** As for how Merry learned about the Ring? "It was [[SitcomArchNemesis the Sackville-Bagginses]] that were his downfall, as you might expect..."

** All of Bilbo's will gifts are a subtle insult in some way. To a young hobbit with a bit of a narcissist streak, he gives a mirror. To an older cousin who's known to write letters with advice, he gives a waste basket ("Dear cousin. Your advice is trash"), and to a guy who's known to borrow books but not give them back, he gives an empty bookshelf ("From a contributor").
** Then she tries to get more things off of Frodo after she is furious that he inherited Bag End. Before she left, Frodo checked her and discovered that she was hiding "several small but valuable" items in her umbrella. After she leaves, he tells Merry to lock the door and not let anyone in "even if they bring a battering ram." Later, Frodo assumes that she's returned and is knocking at the door and ignores it, only for Gandalf to shout to be let in or he'll knock the door in so hard it will go flying though the entire house and crash out the other end.
--->'''Frodo''': I thought you were Lobelia come back!\\
'''Gandalf''': Then I forgive you. I passed her in town, and she had a look upon her face that would have curdled new milk.
** Another Lobelia moment: after taking the spoons and being caught trying to take other items, she's terribly fed up with Frodo and is trying to come up with a sufficiently devastating insult to leave on. The best she can do is tell Frodo "You're [[NoTrueScotsman not a Baggins at all]], you're a...Brandybuck!" Frodo turns to Merry (Brandybuck) and asks Merry what he thought of that insult. Merry's response is "[[DeadpanSnarker It was a compliment. And so, of course, not true]]."
* Frodo and his friends eat one last meal before leaving Bag-End and then leave the dirty dishes for Lobelia.

-->There was a terrific splash, and a shout of "Whoa" from Frodo. It appeared that a lot of Pippin's bath had imitated a fountain and leaped on high.

* The Gaffer mentions that a creepy man in a black cloak came to Bag End looking for "Baggins" and that he sent him off just before Frodo and Sam came back. ''Unfinished Tales'' reveals that the cloaked man was Khamûl of the Nazgûl, the Witch-King of Angmar's right hand. [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome An elderly Hobbit got away with telling one of the most powerful evil supernatural beings in Middle-Earth to go screw himself.]]

* The chapter in which the conspiracy for the other hobbits to follow Frodo was revealed has several.
--> '''Frodo:''' I shall never believe you are sleeping again, even if you snore, and I shall kick you hard to make sure.
** Frodo expects a "masked and sinister figure," and it turns out to be Sam. (He looks around expecting the "masked and sinister figure" to appear out of a cupboard, no less.)
* Frodo asks Gildor (an elf) about Gandalf failing to meet up when he said he would:
-->'''Gildor''': I do not like this news. That Gandalf should be late, it does not bode well. But it is said: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. The choice is yours: to go or to wait.\\
'''Frodo''': It is also said: Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes.\\
'''Gildor''': ([[Main/ActuallyPrettyFunny laughing]]) Is it indeed?

* Bill Ferny's a real jerk. First he rats on the hobbits to the Black Riders, then he capitalizes on the subsequent loss of transportation by selling them a near-useless pony for three times its worth. (When Frodo asks whether this is a trick and maybe the pony will run back to Ferny with all their stuff, Aragorn responds: "I wonder. But I cannot imagine any animal running home to him, once it got away.") And then, when Frodo & Co. are leaving town, he's got the gall to insult them all in public. Bad move, buddy. When he gets to [[HotBlooded Sam]], Sam insults him right back, and then [[ProducePelting beans him with an apple.]]

* After reaching Rivendell and telling Bilbo all about his adventures, Bilbo is singularly unimpressed to learn that Bag End is now in the hands of the Sackville-Bagginses. And that Frodo closed the sale on their ''birthday'', no less. Bilbo rather frostily says that it wasn't the way he would have chosen to have the date celebrated.
* Rather HilariousInHindsight (most read ''Literature/TheSilmarillion'' after ''The Lord of the Rings''), but Bilbo is composing a song about Earendil to perform in Rivendell and asks for Aragorn's help. Aragorn obliges in that he says Bilbo should include a green stone, but comments that it's rather cheeky of Bilbo to write verses about Earendil in the House of Elrond. Earendil happens to be Elrond's father, a fact stated later, but knowing the whole story about him and his family just makes Aragorn's warning funnier.

** Another bit adding to the hilarity is that Aragorn himself is a descendant of Earendil. This is the point where the reader should start to wonder if [[{{Troll}} Bilbo is doing this deliberately]].
* During the Council, Legolas explains how Gollum escaped the Mirkwood elves when they took pity on his wretchedness and gave him a little parole outside. Gloin is quite indignant; that little courtesy was not extended to ''him'' [[Literature/TheHobbit during his own stay there]].

** [[BrickJoke And that, several years later when Saruman has been at work in the Shire, the beer is the only thing in Bree that hasn't gone to hell]]. Considering what Gandalf is, Barliman's beer was literally blessed by an angel.
* The Fellowship tries repeatedly and without much success to start a fire on Caradhras, until Gandalf gets impatient and starts one by magic. He then says: "Well, now I at least am revealed to the enemy. I have written 'Gandalf is here!' in signs that all can read from Rivendell to the mouths of Anduin."

-->[I'll] Knock on the doors with your head, and if that doesn't shatter them and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will seek for the opening words.

-->Fool of a Took! This is not a hobbit walking-party. Throw yourself in next time, and trouble us no more!
** The fact that Tolkien basically invented the "forgot your password" helpful hint ("speak friend and enter") is pretty funny, as is the fact that Gandalf spent hours trying to figure out the spell.

* When the Company must carry their boats round some falls, Gimli boasts that Dwarves can outlast men. Afterwards as they're sitting around a fire Boromir observes that they are all too tired to continue today 'Except no doubt for our sturdy Dwarf.' Gimli did not answer; he was nodding as he sat.

-->"Well, here is the strangest riddle that we have yet found!" exclaimed Legolas. "A bound prisoner escapes both from the Orcs and from the surrounding horsemen. He then stops, while still in the open, and cuts his bonds with an orc-knife. But how and why? For if his legs were tied, how did he walk? And if his arms were tied, how did he use the knife? And if neither were tied, why did he cut the cords at all? Being pleased with his skill, he then sat down and quietly ate some waybread! That at least is enough to show that he was a hobbit, without the mallorn-leaf. After that, I suppose, he turned his arms into wings and flew away singing into the trees. It should be easy to find him: we only need wings ourselves!!

* When Gimli is puzzled by Gandalf calling Treebeard a friend and also dangerous, Gandalf ripostes that he, Gandalf, is probably the most dangerous person Gimli will ever meet apart from Sauron, and Aragorn is dangerous, and Legolas is dangerous. "You are beset with danger, Gimli son of Gloin; for you are dangerous yourself, in your own fashion."

-->'And what about your companions? What about Legolas and me?' cried Gimli, unable to contain himself longer. 'You rascals, you woolly-footed and wool-pated truants! A fine hunt you have led us! Two hundred leagues, through fen and forest, battle and death, to rescue you! And here we find you feasting and idling - and smoking! Smoking! Where did you come by the weed, you villains? Hammer and tongs! I am so torn between rage and joy, that if I do not burst, it will be a marvel!'
-->'You speak for me, Gimli,' laughed Legolas. 'Though I would sooner learn how they came by the wine.'\\

'''Sam:''' You're hopeless!

-->'''Gollum:''' "Lord Sméagol. Gollum the Great. ''The'' Gollum! Eat fish three times a day, fresh from the sea."

* When Faramir is explaining to Gollum the consequences of being caught fishing in the pool of Henneth Annun, and Gollum drops the fish he is holding and goes "Don't want fish" like a sulky kid.

** Then, out on the Morgai, Frodo and Sam overhear the conversation between an Uruk captain and a lower caste tracker Orc.

"Anything that can keep so in this devil's mirk," said Elfhelm. "But my lord sends word that we must set ourselves in readiness: orders may come for a sudden move. [more conversation, then, as he leaves:] "Pack yourself up, Master Bag!"

*** Even funnier as it comes after Faramir and Eowyn's much more elevated lines upon waking. So we go from, "My lord, you called me. I come," to "Eomer! What joy is this?" to [[TheTriple "I'm hungry. What's the time?"]]

* Eowyn tells Faramir that she loves a noble, strong, wise and kind man. Faramir's response amounts to "Yeah, who wouldn't love Aragorn."
** Then, when Faramir proposes to her, Eowyn rather teasingly asks whether he would have his people wondering why, with so many fair Numenorian ladies to choose from, he felt the need to go and "tame a wild shieldmaiden of the north." Faramir's answer:

** When Eomer explains further that he believes Arwen to be the fairest woman that lives, Gimli's response amounts to "...okay, that's fair."

'I can add some more, if you'd like it,' said Sam, 'Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools.'\\

To the discomfiture of the Shirriffs Frodo and his companions all roared with laughter. 'Don't be absurd!' said Frodo. 'I am going where I please, and in my own time. I happen to be going to Bag End on business, but if you insist on going too, well that is your affair.'\\

** The whole Scouring of the Shire is brilliant! The bit where Rosie calls out Sam for following Mr. Frodo all around the world then "leaving just as things get dangerous." Sam just leaves rather than try to explain.

-->'''Gollum:''' [[NoFourthWall The voice of the Witch-King was done by Andy Serkis]].

* When we first see Edoras, Creator/BradDourif remarks that at the time they were shooting the scene where Wormtongue banishes Eomer, Karl Urban was 'just about to have a baby', and that despite his eagerness to shoot the scene, Brad nonetheless shooed him off, rightfully pointing out that a new baby was more important. Obviously, he means that Karl's ''girlfriend'' was about to have the baby, but the AmbiguousSyntax makes it sound like [[MisterSeahorse Karl himself was heavily pregnant and on the verge of going into labour]] and Brad was concerned about him possibly giving birth on set.

* Another Aragorn moment from their first meeting, Frodo says he's inclined to trust Aragorn, because, as he puts it "I think a servant of the Enemy would look fairer, but feel fouler." Aragorn dryly responds "And I look foul but feel fair, I suppose?"

-->'''Frodo:''' And now leave me in peace for a bit! I don't want to answer a string of questions while I am eating. I want to think!
-->'''Pippin:''' Good heavens! At breakfast?

-->"The matter of the Lady Galadriel lies still between us. I have yet to teach you gentle speech."
-->"We shall see," said Éomer. "So many strange things have chanced that to learn the praise of a fair lady under the loving strokes of a Dwarf’s axe will seem no great wonder. Farewell!"

-->'You speak for me, Gimli,' laughed Legolas. 'Though I would sooner learn how they came by the wine.'
-->'One thing you have not found in your hunting, and that's brighter wits,' said Pippin, opening an eye. 'Here you find us sitting on a field of victory, amid the plunder of armies, and you wonder how we came by a few well-earned comforts!' ([=LotR=] III ch. 8)

-->A shrill shriek, suddenly cut off, came from an open window high above.
-->"It seems that Saruman thinks so too," said Gandalf.

-->'''Sam:''' ...Fish and chips, served by S. Gamgee. You couldn't say no to that.
-->'''Sméagol:''' Yes we could! Spoiling nice fissh, burning it! Give us fissh ''now,'' and keep nassty chips!
-->'''Sam:''' You're hopeless!

--> A tall figure loomed up and stumbled over him, cursing the tree-roots. He recognized the voice of Elfhelm the marshal.
--> "I am not a tree-root, Sir," he said, "nor a bag, but a bruised hobbit. The least you can do in amends is to tell me what is afoot."
--> "Anything that can keep so in this devil's mirk," said Elfhelm. "But my lord sends word that we must set ourselves in readiness: orders may come for a sudden move. [more conversation, then, as he leaves:] "Pack yourself up, Master Bag!"

-->'''Gimli''': Well lord, and what say you now?
-->'''Éomer''': Alas! I will not say that she is [[WorldsMostBeautifulWoman the fairest lady that lives]].
-->'''Gimli''': [[MundaneMadeAwesome Then I must go for my axe.]]

-->'You're arrested for Gate-breaking, and Tearing up of Rules, and Assaulting Gate-Keepers, and Trespassing, and Sleeping in Shire-buildings without Leave, and Bribing Guards with Food.'
-->'And what else?' said Frodo.
-->'That'll do to go on with.' said the Shirriff-leader.
-->'I can add some more, if you'd like it,' said Sam, 'Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools.'
-->'There now, Mister, that'll do. It's the Chief's orders that you're to come along quiet. We're going to take you to Bywater and hand you over to the Chief's Men; and when he deals with your case you can have your say. But if you don't want to stay in the Lockholes any longer than you need, I should cut the say short, if I was you.'
-->To the discomfiture of the Shirriffs Frodo and his companions all roared with laughter. 'Don't be absurd!' said Frodo. 'I am going where I please, and in my own time. I happen to be going to Bag End on business, but if you insist on going too, well that is your affair.'
-->'Very well, Mr. Baggins,' said the leader, pushing the barrier aside. 'But don't forget I've arrested you.'
-->'I won't,' said Frodo. 'Never. But I may forgive you. Now I am not going any further today, so if you'll kindly escort me to The Floating Log, I'll be obliged.'

-->'You're breaking arrest, that's what you're doing,' said the leader ruefully, 'and I can't be answerable.'
-->'We shall break a good many things yet, and not ask you to answer,' said Pippin. 'Good luck to you!'

** And that, several years later when Saruman has been at work in the Shire, the beer is the only thing in Bree that hasn't gone to hell. Considering what Gandalf is, Barliman's beer was literally blessed by an angel.

--> '''Orc Captain:''' Hey, you! Get back in line!
--> '''Sam:''' You mean you're going to let a pack of filthy man-creatures go before us?

--> '''Sam:''' And you call yourself an Orc!

--> '''Sam:''' Kill them, mold them, smash them to bits!
--> '''Orc Captain:''' Smash 'em, thrash 'em, skin 'em alive!

* Eowyn tells Faramir that she loves a noble, strong, wise and kind man. Faramir's respone amounts to "Yeah, who wouldn't love Aragorn."
** Then, when Faramir proposes to her, Eowyn rather teasingly asks whether he would have his people wondering why, with so many fair Numenorian ladies to choose from, he felt the need to go and "tame a wild shieldmaiden of the north." Faramir's anwer:

* While Sam is briefly the Ringbearer, the Ring attempts to corrupt him like it has everyone else. But Sam is such an honest and simple gardener that the only thing the Ring can come up with to tempt him is an image of Mordor ''covered with flowers''. Sam immediately dismisses this as ridiculous - not because it would be impossible or because it would mess up something, but because there is no way one person could tend to a garden that big, and all he desires is one small plot of land he can work with his own hands, not the hands of thousands to command. One gets the feeling the Ring was a little desperate.

** Did you mean when he catches the bouquet and then grins goofily at the attractive girl next to him?
*** That was shot in a different take. In the take where we see Sam and Rosie they weren't in front of a crowd of hobbit actors, but a camera crew and few actors with free time in their hands, including Viggo and Billy.

* Minas Morgul Orcs have captured Frodo. Not funny. Sam has had to put the Ring on so as to not be found himself. Really not funny. Shagrat and Gorbag, [[ThoseTwoBadGuys minions with personality]], discuss the fact that there's clearly a mighty elven warrior on the loose. ''Hilarious''.

'''Aragorn''': Then we must do without hope. There is always ''[[PayEvilUntoEvil vengeance]]''.[[note]]The original line was "We must do without hope. At least we may yet be avenged," which technically suggests the same thing
but doesn't sound nearly as funny (or [[BloodKnight bloodthirsty]]).[[/note]]

but doesn't sound nearly as funny (or [[BloodKnight bloodthirsty]]).[/note]]

--->"Those were the only helmets available because the orcs all said " 'I'm not wearing that! I'll look like an idiot!'

** Another bit adding to the hilarity is that Aragorn himself is a descendant of Earendil.

* There's one blooper clip where the camera crew is on the Bag End set, and after Peter Jackson tells them they'll be moving to the big set,they all stand up in unison and bump their heads on the ceiling, all falling to the floor afterwards.

* There's one blooper clip where the camera crew is on the Bag End set, and after being spoken to by one guy, they all stand up in unison and bump their heads on the ceiling, all falling to the floor afterwards.

* Bernard Hill gets his own bits of funny on the commentary, especially during the Pellenor Fields battle.

** Christopher Lee losing his composure and exclaiming he cannot get up the the "damned stairs". According to the commentary, Jackson's simple response was: "Well, you did it yesterday."

* Merry and Pippin have a very distinct dynamic between them, with Merry being the clever, mature one and Pippin being the young, inquisitive one who gets into trouble by acting on more or less his every impulse. The fact that the actors portraying them have that same dynamic in real life is hilarious - because the roles are reversed. Billy Boyd (Pippin) is the clever, responsible one and Dominic Monaghan (Merry) is the inquisitive, impulsive one. For instance, apparently when they arrived at the Bree set there were lights laid out on the ground and Dominic Monaghan ran over and started fidgeting with them out of curiosity, and Billy Boyd told him (in a calm, parental tone) "put them back".
* The Covid-19 pandemic is the very opposite of funny, but if it's one thing healthcare workers need every once in a while to make their burden easier to bear it's a good laugh. A group of Swedish healthcare workers made a collection of clips from the movies with new Swedish subtitles about the pandemic. It's unfortunately something that cannot be entirely re-made for English speakers because a lot of the effect is lost when the dialogue and the subtitles are in the same language. Nonetheless, the videos are absolutely hilarious. For instance there's one made from the scene at the end of "Fellowship" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O-1BrcHS6c when Frodo is leaving]], where Frodo is a doctor being called in for yet another shift (and the One Ring is his beeper) and Sam is the med stundent hell-bent on coming with him. Another one is the scene from Helm's Deep [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHqF9X9OIBk&t=38s when the orcs are about to break through the barricade]], where the orcs are patients trying to get into the ER (and Aragorn's line about how Théoden's men have died defending the keep is about how there's no more toilet paper). Théoden's speech contains such gems as "make visors out of over-head projector foils" and "Forth Eolingas" becomes "For Grandma Agda". Gandalf of course arrives as the infectious disease specialist. There is also one from the scene in "Two Towers" where Sam gives his speech about what they are fighting for, where Gollum is labelled as a doctor "42 hours into shift" and Saruman, watching the ents release the flood around Isengaard, is labelled as "regional politican responsible for finances". The translation of Sam's speech is focused on how the healthcare workers had many chances to just walk away from it all but chose to stay and work. It's dark comedy but done in honour of those working on the front lines and they have provided a much needed laugh for many a Swedish healthcare worker.
** At least one of the videos [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl6qF6EWB6U&t=0s has been uploaded with English version subtitles]].