History Funny / TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy

26th Apr '17 5:48:14 PM JMQwilleran
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-->'''Lunkwill''': Take his brain!

to:

-->'''Lunkwill''': Take his brain!brain!
* Zaphod signed off on the order to destroy the Earth. Reason? He didn't realize what he was doing and thought he was giving out autographs.
-->'''Trillian''': "Love and kisses, Zaphod"?! .... My whole planet destroyed because you thought someone wanted your autograph!
18th Apr '17 12:50:36 PM Rday
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to:

* During the disproving of God's existence we have this little gem:
--> Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
** This doubly funny for North American readers, who are largely unaware that this refers to what they would call a "crosswalk." Getting killed at a "zebra crossing" brings up images of being trampled on an African plain, which just adds an extra level of surrealism to the original line.
20th Feb '17 5:34:04 PM nombretomado
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* The conversation with Murray Bost-Henson, [[BritishNewspapers a tabloid journalist]], and his revelations that the "Rain God" trucker is real ("Do you know how much they're paying this guy ''not'' to go to Malaga this summer?"), that Arthur actually sent him to the papers in the first place - he suggests Arthur pose under a hosepipe as the "man who made the rain god rain", and the "Week of the Weirdos" segment about the mysterious flying couple (see above).

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* The conversation with Murray Bost-Henson, [[BritishNewspapers [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers a tabloid journalist]], and his revelations that the "Rain God" trucker is real ("Do you know how much they're paying this guy ''not'' to go to Malaga this summer?"), that Arthur actually sent him to the papers in the first place - he suggests Arthur pose under a hosepipe as the "man who made the rain god rain", and the "Week of the Weirdos" segment about the mysterious flying couple (see above).
10th Feb '17 7:31:54 PM cybertoy0
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10th Feb '17 7:30:01 PM cybertoy0
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'''Zaphod''': It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will [[HaveANiceDeath enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we've just sent to converge with your craft]]. To ensure on-going quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.

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'''Zaphod''': '''Councilman''': It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will [[HaveANiceDeath enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we've just sent to converge with your craft]]. To ensure on-going quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.
9th Feb '17 6:48:12 PM cybertoy0
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* Trillian has been captured by the Vogons! How do they save her? By filling out a "Presidential Release Form". Yes, those exist. Of course, Arthur filled out a ''regular'' release form beforehand, only to be kindly informed by the Vogon secretary of his mistake. It's like one of those bad days at the DMV.



* The Vogons become as depressed as Marvin.

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* The climax of the film; The Vogons are shooting everywhere, our heroes are cornered, and then Marvin the chronically-depressed robot picks up the Point-Of-View Gun. He pulls the trigger, and the Vogons become as so depressed as Marvin.that they just topple over.
11th Jan '17 3:41:07 PM LBHills
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* There is one man who was specially selected to be the behind-the-scenes political ruler of the known universe. Because he takes nothing for granted. ''Nothing.''
--> '''Ruler''' ''(to his cat):'' When the men come - or, when ''in my mind'' the men come to ask me questions, do they come in your mind too, kitty? Perhaps you think they're singing songs to you. ''(considers this for a moment)'' Perhaps they ''are'' coming here to sing songs to you, and I only ''think'' they're asking me questions. Who can tell? Who can tell...
22nd Oct '16 9:50:11 AM JMQwilleran
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* The Golgafrinchans are trying to invent fire and aren't having much luck...
-->'''Golgafrinchan Girl''': When you've been in marketing as long as I have, you'll know that before any new product can be developed it has to be properly researched. We’ve got to find out what people want from fire, how they relate to it, what sort of image it has for them.
-->'''Ford Prefect''': Go stick it up your nose.
-->'''Golgafrinchan Girl''': Which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know. Do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?
10th Sep '16 11:25:47 AM Kalaong
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-->'''Councilman''': As a token of our appreciation, [[HaveANiceDeath we hope will you enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we just sent to converge with your craft.]] To ensure ongoing quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.

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-->'''Councilman''': Greetings. This is a recorded announcement as we're all out the moment. The Commercial council of Magrathea thanks you for your esteemed visit, but regrets that the entire planet is temporarily closed for business. If you would like to leave your name and a planet where you can be contacted, kindly do so at the tone.\\
'''Arthur''': Closed? How can a planet be closed?\\
'''Zaphod''': For once, Aldus, I agree with you. Okay, computer. Keep going. Take us down.\\
'''Zaphod''': It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated.
As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will [[HaveANiceDeath we hope will you enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we we've just sent to converge with your craft.]] craft]]. To ensure ongoing on-going quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.



-->'''Arthur''': Go with a hunch of '''a''' '''''man''''' '''whose''' '''''brain''''' '''is''' '''''fueled by lemons'''''?!

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-->'''Arthur''': Go with a hunch of '''a''' '''''man''''' '''whose''' '''''brain''''' '''is''' '''''fueled '''a ''man'' whose ''brain'' is fueled by lemons'''''?!''lemons?!'''''
** They help him [[IncrediblyLamePun concentrate]].
29th Jun '16 2:30:07 AM 06tele
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* The revelation that the most offensive word in the galaxy is "Belgium" happens while Zaphod is dangling from his fingers thousands of fee in the air, and we learn that "it is only ever used by loose-tongued people in moments of extreme peril" because, of course, Zaphod is such a person. Sure enough, he uses it in an attempt to get Ford to rescue him ("Belgium, man, Belgium!"), but it doesn't work because Ford loses his footing and soon they're both dangling, leading Zaphod to top the "Belgium" gag:

to:

* The revelation that the most offensive word in the galaxy is "Belgium" happens while Zaphod is dangling from his fingers thousands of fee feet in the air, and we learn that "it is only ever used by loose-tongued people in moments of extreme peril" because, of course, Zaphod is such a person. Sure enough, he uses it in an attempt to get Ford to rescue him ("Belgium, man, Belgium!"), but it doesn't work because Ford loses his footing and soon they're both dangling, leading Zaphod to top the "Belgium" gag:
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy