History Funny / TheGoldenGirls

8th Mar '17 9:40:20 PM RainbowPhoenix
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-->'''Dorothy:''' I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy?
-->'''Rose:''' You mean at a funeral?
-->'''Dorothy:''' No, Rose, at a pie eating contest!

to:

-->'''Dorothy:''' I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy?
-->'''Rose:'''
eulogy?\\
'''Rose:'''
You mean at a funeral?
-->'''Dorothy:'''
funeral?\\
'''Dorothy:'''
No, Rose, at a pie eating contest!



-->'''Dorothy''': It turned up three days later.
-->(''long {{beat}} as Blanche, and the audience, laugh'',)
-->'''Rose''': Where'd it turn up, Dorothy?
-->(''long {{beat}}, more laughter'')
-->'''Dorothy''': On the Home Shopping Network.

to:

-->'''Dorothy''': It turned up three days later. \n-->(''long \\
(''long
{{beat}} as Blanche, and the audience, laugh'',)
-->'''Rose''':
laugh'',)\\
'''Rose''':
Where'd it turn up, Dorothy?
-->(''long
Dorothy?\\
(''long
{{beat}}, more laughter'')
-->'''Dorothy''':
laughter'')\\
'''Dorothy''':
On the Home Shopping Network.



-->'''Blanche''': We brought dinner.
-->'''Rose''': What did you get?
-->'''Dorothy''': A bucket of chicken. I hope you like it extra flat and crispy.

to:

-->'''Blanche''': We brought dinner.
-->'''Rose''':
dinner.\\
'''Rose''':
What did you get?
-->'''Dorothy''':
get?\\
'''Dorothy''':
A bucket of chicken. I hope you like it extra flat and crispy.\\
'''Blanch:''': It's a pizza, Rose.\\
'''Rose''': I know that, I just meant what kind.\\
'''Blanch''': Did you really?\\
'''Rose''': No, but I thought I could cover.



-->'''Rose''': What kind of a movie is this, Dorothy?
-->'''Character on screen''': Rip his throat out!
-->'''Dorothy''': It's a musical Rose.

to:

-->'''Rose''': What kind of a movie is this, Dorothy?
-->'''Character
Dorothy?\\
'''Character
on screen''': Rip his throat out!
-->'''Dorothy''':
out!\\
'''Dorothy''':
It's a musical Rose.
28th Feb '17 10:21:23 AM TheTrailblazerCritic
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Added DiffLines:

* Also, when Uncle Angelo visits, having been led to believe Dorothy and Stan were still married by Sophia who feared he'd disapprove of their divorce. After just finishing his confession that he actually was not a priest:
-->'''Angelo:''' Can you ever forgive me?
-->'''Dorothy:''' Oh of course, Uncle Angelo. Actually, we've all been deceitful too; Stanley and I are divorced. I hope you're not disappointed.
-->'''Angelo:''' No, I'm thrilled! I never liked him, he's a ''yutz''.
11th Feb '17 11:51:24 PM ClatoLawa
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-->'''Blanche:''' Have you ever heard of dirty dancing?\\
'''Dorothy:''' Of course, Blanche. They did it in [[Film/DirtyDancing that movie]].\\

to:

-->'''Blanche:''' Have you ever heard of something called dirty dancing?\\
'''Dorothy:''' Of Well of course, Blanche. They did it in [[Film/DirtyDancing that movie]].\\



'''Dorothy:''' ''Film/LawrenceOfArabia''.

to:

'''Dorothy:''' ''Film/LawrenceOfArabia''.''Film/LawrenceOfArabia'', Rose.



-->'''Rose:''' Your kidney? Why would she need your kidney?\\

to:

-->'''Rose:''' Your kidney? Why would she you need your a kidney?\\



-->'''Dorothy:''' I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy before, Rose?

to:

-->'''Dorothy:''' I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy before, Rose?eulogy?



-->'''Dorothy:''' No, at a pie eating contest.

to:

-->'''Dorothy:''' No, Rose, at a pie eating contest.contest!
** When Dorothy tells a story about Stan putting her engagement ring in a glass of Dom Perignon and her accidentally swallowing it.
-->'''Dorothy''': It turned up three days later.
-->(''long {{beat}} as Blanche, and the audience, laugh'',)
-->'''Rose''': Where'd it turn up, Dorothy?
-->(''long {{beat}}, more laughter'')
-->'''Dorothy''': On the Home Shopping Network.
** When Dorothy walks in with a pizza box.
-->'''Blanche''': We brought dinner.
-->'''Rose''': What did you get?
-->'''Dorothy''': A bucket of chicken. I hope you like it extra flat and crispy.
** At the cinema:
-->'''Rose''': What kind of a movie is this, Dorothy?
-->'''Character on screen''': Rip his throat out!
-->'''Dorothy''': It's a musical Rose.
8th Jan '17 12:32:13 PM RainbowPhoenix
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Added DiffLines:

** Dorothy's commentary on the whole situation.
--->'''Dorothy:''' We look like a reunion of Henry VIII's wives!
3rd Dec '16 8:55:28 PM Lightning4119
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Added DiffLines:

** Dorothy goes to see a friend of hers.
-->'''Dorothy''': Am I going to die?
-->'''Harry''': I'm afraid so.
-->'''Dorothy''': ''[clearly disturbed]'' You really think so?
-->'''Harry''': ...Sooner or later I guarantee it! Unless the Japanese come up with something!
31st Aug '16 12:23:10 AM Green_lantern40
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* Rose: "All creatures must learn to co-exist. Back where I come from, they do. That's why the brown bear and field mouse can share their lives and live in harmony. Of course they can't [[InterspeciesRomance mate]] or [[HotSkittyOnWailordAction the mice would explode.]]" Cue WTF looks from the entire picket line.

to:

* Rose: From "Love Under the Big Top":
** Dorothy's attorney boyfriend [[Creator/DickVanDyke Ken Whittingham]] tells her he's leaving the law profession to become a full-time circus clown. He does this by putting on a red clown nose while Dorothy's eyes are closed. He tells her to open her eyes and guess what his announcement is, and Dorothy responds thusly:
-->'''Dorothy''': You're becoming Irish?
** Rose, during a "Save the Whales" demonstration:
"All creatures must learn to co-exist. Back where I come from, they do. That's why the brown bear and field mouse can share their lives and live in harmony. Of course they can't [[InterspeciesRomance mate]] or [[HotSkittyOnWailordAction the mice would explode.]]" Cue WTF looks from the entire picket line.line.
** At said demonstration, Blanche gets in trouble for punching a dock worker trying to interfere with the protest, and as a result the girls end up in court. Sophia mentions to Dorothy that she's called Ken and he's coming over to take care of the matter, which Dorothy's overjoyed to hear. What Sophia did not mention, however, was that [[RefugeInAudacity he would be handling the case in full clown get-up.]]
30th Aug '16 6:21:53 PM Green_lantern40
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* In "Ladies of the Evening", Blanche wins a date with Burt Reynolds and invites Dorothy and Blanche along, but has to leave out Sophia. Hijinks ensue which end with the girls going to a hotel reception and getting arrested after being mistaken for prostitutes, causing them to miss their chance to meet the actor. The episode ends with the girls sitting at home pissed at the turn of events, when Burt Reynolds comes to their house...to take out Sophia! Before they leave, he asks which of the younger three is The Slut, and ''all three of them yell "I am!"''



* In "Ladies of the Night", Blanche wins a date with Burt Reynolds and invites Dorothy and Blanche along, but has to leave out Sophia. Hijinks ensue which end with the girls going to a hotel reception and getting arrested after being mistaken for prostitutes, causing them to miss their chance to meet the actor. The episode ends with the girls sitting at home pissed at the turn of events, when Burt Reynolds comes to their house...to take out Sophia! Before they leave, he asks which of the younger three is The Slut, and ''all three of them yell "I am!"''

to:

* In "Ladies of the Night", Blanche wins a date with Burt Reynolds and invites Dorothy and Blanche along, but has to leave out Sophia. Hijinks ensue which end with the girls going to a hotel reception and getting arrested after being mistaken for prostitutes, causing them to miss their chance to meet the actor. The episode ends with the girls sitting at home pissed at the turn of events, when Burt Reynolds comes to their house...to take out Sophia! Before they leave, he asks which of the younger three is The Slut, and ''all three of them yell "I am!"''
26th Jul '16 6:46:08 PM DesertDragon
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to:

* In "Ladies of the Night", Blanche wins a date with Burt Reynolds and invites Dorothy and Blanche along, but has to leave out Sophia. Hijinks ensue which end with the girls going to a hotel reception and getting arrested after being mistaken for prostitutes, causing them to miss their chance to meet the actor. The episode ends with the girls sitting at home pissed at the turn of events, when Burt Reynolds comes to their house...to take out Sophia! Before they leave, he asks which of the younger three is The Slut, and ''all three of them yell "I am!"''
22nd Jun '16 8:39:13 PM mockingjay
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Added DiffLines:

* Sophia negotiating with a grocery store clerk over a nectarine in "The Days and Nights of Sophia Petrillo":
-->'''Clerk:''' I've never seen a more beautiful piece of fruit.\\
'''Sophia:''' Oh yeah? Then try kissing my behind! It's a real peach!
16th Apr '16 12:52:56 AM Green_lantern40
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to:

* The joke between the two crows.
** "GET OUT!"



* The joke between the two crows.
** "GET OUT!"
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheGoldenGirls