History Funny / TheBigLebowski

** When they leave, one of them snaps "Thanks a lot, asshole." as if the Dude is the one who has inconvenienced ''them''.

'''The Dude:''' ''(Snapping)'' That's it. I'm outta here. ([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere The Dude drops some money on the counter and promptly storms out]])''\\

Lady, I GOT BUDDIES WHO DIED FACE-DOWN IN THE MUCK SO YOU AND I CAN ENJOY THIS FAMILY RESTAURANT!\\
''([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere The Dude promptly leaves]])''\\
'''Walter:''' (''{{beat}}'') I'm staying. I'm finishing my coffee... Enjoyin' my coffee.

** The mere fact that Walter, a giant and alleged war veteran feels bested and "stonewalled" by Larry, a boy who doesn't even say a word.

* The whole scene between the Dude and [=DaFino=], from their ZeroChops "fight" (if you call just kind of flinching defensively at each other for a few seconds "fighting"), to the fact that [=DaFino=] seems to have somehow got the impression that the Dude is some kind of "brother shamus" ("What, like an Irish monk?") who is expertly playing all sides off against each other, but most especially this exchange:

** "What's a pederast, Walter?"
** "Shut the fuck up, Donny."

* The Dude, in good ol' Philip Marlowe mode, shades a notepad with a pencil to highlight the impression made on the next sheet of paper, only to discover Treehorn just drew a man with a big phallus.

'''Dude:''' ''(legitimately confused)'' It's... it's... it's down there somewhere. Let me take another look.

* Walter "commends" Donny's remains to the Pacific Ocean. But the wind commends them all the way into the Dude's face. With the Dude's facial expression [[TranquilFury not changing at all]] for a few seconds.

* For BlackComedy, the Dude holding in his contempt for Walter's eulogy for Donny [[OneTractMind drifting into a rant about the Vietnam War]].

* "Yes, Walter, there is an unspoken message here, it's [[SuddenlyShouting FUCK YOU!]] ''[[SuddenlyShouting LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!]]'' ...Yes, I'll be at practice."

'''The Dude:''' She's not my special lady, she's my fuckin' lady friend! [[TooMuchInformation I'm just helping her conceive, man!]]\\

** Even better is the fact that [[spoiler:that isn't Larry's car]].

* Walter "commends" [[spoiler:Donny's]] remains to the Pacific Ocean. But the wind commends them all the way into the Dude's face. With the Dude's facial expression [[TranquilFury not changing at all]] for a few seconds.

* For BlackComedy, the Dude holding in his contempt for Walter's [[spoiler:eulogy for Donny]] [[OneTractMind drifting into a rant about the Vietnam War]].

* A TakeThat to LA right off the bat

'''Dude:''' ''(legitimately confused)'' It's... it's... it's down there somewhere; let me take another look.

* "'''YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY!? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY!? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY, WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!?!'''"
** Made even funnier in the TV edits, which turn the scene into a surreal NonSequitur. The Coens had fun with self-censorship; they knew it would be altered so they did it themselves.
--->'''"DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?! DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY?! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FEED A STONER SCRAMBLED EGGS!!"'''

-->'''Jesus:''' Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of that crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger till it goes click.]]\\

'''Jesus:''' You said it man. Nobody fucks with The Jesus.\\

* As Walter explains how The Jesus had to go door-to-door to notify his neighbors that he was a pederast, we see a flashback of him ringing the doorbell of a very large and tough-looking guy to break the news. [[ThisIsGonnaSuck The look on The Jesus' face]] says it all.

* The Dude barricades his door to prevent another breaking-and-entering. He forgot that the door opens the other way.

* Walter enjoying his coffee... that is, making a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn-kxUEySy0 scene]] at a family restaurant and being called out on it

Lady, I GOT BUDDIES WHO DIED FACE DOWN IN THE MUCK SO YOU AND I CAN ENJOY THIS FAMILY RESTAURANT!\\

* "[[LameComeback Yeah, well, y'know that's just like uhh...your opinion, man.]]" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c scene]]

** And then when he proceeds to use the term "Chinaman" himself [[HypocriticalHumor not a few moments later.]]

-->'''Lebowski:''' They did not receive the money, you nitwit! They did not receive the money! Her life was ''in your hands!''\\

* The Dude gets fed up with Walter and his bloody SimplePlan.

-->'''Goon''': WHERE'S THE MONEY, LEBOWSKI?! ''(shoves Dude's head in the toilet again)'' WHERE'S THE FUCKIN' MONEY, SHITHEEEAAD?!\\
'''Dude''': ''(legitimately confused)'' It's... it's... it's down there somewhere; let me take another look.

--->'''Goon''': ''(discovers Dude's bowling ball)'' ...What the fuck is ''this''?\\
'''Dude''': [[DeadpanSnarker Obviously, you're not a golfer]].\\

--->'''Woo''': He looks like a fuckin' loser.
--->'''Dude''': Hey, at least I'm housebroken!

*** "We ''know'' it's his fuckin' homework-- Where the fucking MONEY, you little brat?!"

''([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere The Dude promptly leaves]])''
-->'''Walter:''' (''{{beat}}'') "I'm staying. I'm finishing my coffee... Enjoyin' my coffee."

-->'''The Dude''': Well, why don't you call them up and explain that, Walter? [[DeadpanSnarker Your plan is that fucking simple I'm sure they'd understand.]]

-->'''Donny''': Where you going, Dude?\\
'''The Dude''': I'm going home, Donny.\\
'''Donny''': [[CaptainObvious Your phone's ringing, Dude]].\\
'''The Dude''': [[DeadpanSnarker Thank you, Donny]].

-->'''Walter''': Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling. There are ''rules''.\\\
'''Walter''': [[SeriousBusiness Has the whole world gone CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO!]]

-->'''Walter:''' "Dude, I'm perfectly calm!"
-->'''The Dude:''' "Wha-- Wavin' the fuckin' ''GUN'' around?!"
-->'''Walter:''' "I'm calmer than you are."
-->'''The Dude:''' "Will you just take it easy?!"
-->'''Walter:''' "...I'm calmer'n you are."

-->"[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iApz08Bh53w Doo doo doo, lookin' out my back door.]]"

-->'''The Dude''': I don't need your fucking sympathy, man [Walter], I need my fucking johnson!
-->'''Donny''': What do you need that for, Dude?

-->'''[[EruditeStoner The Dude]]''': It's like [[UsefulNotes/VladimirLenin Lenin]] said [...]
-->'''Donny''': [[Music/JohnLennon I am the Walrus]]?

-->'''The Dude''': What are you, a fucking park ranger now?"

--> Racially, he's pretty cool huh?

* Walter thinking the manipulative bastard Big Lebowski is ObfuscatingDisability immediately becomes--rather unsurprisingly--ComedicSociopathy.
--> '''Walter:''' Never been so sure of anything in my life.

--> '''Lebowski:''' They did not receive the money, you nitwit! They did not receive the money! Her life was ''in your hands!''
--> '''Brandt:''' ''(adjusts glasses)'' This is our concern, Dude.

-->"Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing."

-->'''[=DaFino=]:''' The Knutsens.\\

--> '''"DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?! DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY?! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FEED A STONER SCRAMBLED EGGS!!"'''

** "''Ja'', maybe ve stomp on it and squish it!"

** "We're gonna cut your dick off, Larry."

* As The Dude is being hustled into Mr. Lebowski's limo, he yells out, "Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here, man!"

-->'''The Dude''': I don't need your fucking sympathy, man [Walter]. I need my fucking johnson.
-->'''Donny''': What do you need that for?

--> Racially he's pretty cool huh?

** It ''very slowly'' dawns on them that they don't have the right place. "Isn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire, or something?"

** When they leave, one of them snaps "Thanks for nothing, loser!" as if the Dude is the one who has inconvenienced ''them''.

* "Also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."