History Funny / Safehold

-->"All right boys, they wrecked [[NiceHat my hat]] and that pisses me off!"

* Almost all of Merlin's actions in Delferahk. He is having way too much fun. First off, he climbs three stories in ''full armor'' to [[spoiler:Princess Irys']] room, ''waits'' there for a minute or two, then casually clambers in the window, surprising everyone inside and leaving [[spoiler:Earl Coris]] in StunnedSilence, all while stroking his BadassMustache.

* Charlz Doyal's banter, which doubles as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome. Cannonballs are wrecking havoc in his crews, men are laying dead or dying everywhere, snipers killed all the officers except for him, Charisians are encircling his army and what's his response?

* A sexist lieutenant of the guard refuses to recognize [[spoiler: Nimue's authority]] or even the reality of a woman an a soldier and decides to physically attack her. [[CurbStompBattle It doesn't end well for him.]] Cayleb and Merlin later watch the surveillance footage of the incident [[PassThePopcorn drinking beer and eating chips.]]

[[AC: Off Armageddon Reef]]

[[AC: By Schism Rent Asunder]]

[[AC: By Heresies Distressed]]
* Charlz Doyal's banter, which doubles as the CrowningMomentOfAwesome. Cannonballs are wrecking havoc in his crews, men are laying dead or dying everywhere, snipers killed all the officers except for him, Charisians are encircling his army and what's his response?
-->All right boys, they wrecked [[NiceHat my hat]] and that pisses me off!

[[AC: A Mighty Fortress]]

* "Ahbraim Zhevons"'s "peculiar negotiating style." He's having way too much fun.

-->'''Cayleb''': You do realize that you're probably the only empress in the world who arranged everything as to have no help before giving birth to her first child?

[[AC: How Firm a Foundation]]

* Almost all of Merlin's actions in Delferahk. He is having way too much fun. First off, he climbs three stories in ''full armor'' to [[spoiler: Princess Irys's]] room, ''waits'' there for a minute or two, then casually clambers in the window, surprising everyone inside and leaving [[spoiler: Earl Coris]] in StunnedSilence, all while stroking his BadassMustache.
** Later, when a group of Delferahkan armsmen come to the door, Merlin goes to meet them; still wearing his Charisian Imperial Guard armor. They too, are stunned completely silent. For reference, these armsmen are in their own castle, several thousand miles from Charis, and Merlin just walks out in his Imperial Guard armor, calmly introduces himself, and chats with the forty armed men standing in front of him. Then, when one of the [[BloodKnight Inquisitors demands]] that the armsmen attack Merlin, all he does is [[FingerWag shake his finger at them like a "chiding tutor"]]
--->'''Merlin''': "Let me see. Surrender, and be tortured to death later for Clyntahn's amusement, or die now, seeing how many of his inquisitors--and their flunkies, I'm afraid, Colonel-- I can kill first. Let me see, let me see. Which one should I choose...?"

[[AC: Midst Toil And Tribulation]]

[[AC: Like A Mighty Army]]

--> "Wanna watch it with me again in slow motion?"

[[AC: At the Sign of Triumph]]
* During a strategy meaning, one of the protagonists comes up with an idea to raise morale among their own: A chamber pot with a picture inside of Clyntahn, open-mouthed, above the line "Tribute to the Grand Fornicator".

* The RagingStiffie incident: Merlin joins Cayleb and a few other guys for a game of rugby, only to discover too late that Charisian rugby is played in the nude, at this point in time Merlin still identifies as a woman, and that [=PICAs=] are ''fully'' functional. Cue the natural reaction to being surrounded by several hot, wet, naked members of the opposite sex. His only saving grace is that Charisian rugby is also played in the water, so he avoided detection by staying waist deep.

-->Oh, my God! ''That'' was why you stayed in the water! Why you were so damned careful about that towel!

* The RagingStiffie incident in book one, followed-up in book two by Cayleb's reaction after learning the meaning behind it.

--->'''Cayleb''': You do realize that you're probably the only empress in the world who arranged everything as to have no help before giving birth to her first child?

-->'''Merlin''': "Let me see. Surrender, and be tortured to death later for Clyntahn's amusement, or die now, seeing how many of his inquisitors--and their flunkies, I'm afraid, Colonel-- I can kill first. Let me see, let me see. Which one should I choose...?"

* Sharleyan's arrangements on the day she gave birth. Why lead obstetrician of Tellesberg is on the other side of town? Midwife from another order was supposed to be in the palace, so why bother him? So why is the midwife in the city dozens of miles away? Well, the obstetrician was supposed to be there, so midwife can visit her family... right?

* A sexist lieutenant of the guard refuses to recognize [[spoiler: Nimue's authority]] or even the reality of a woman an a soldier and decides to physically attack her. [[CurbStompBattle It doesn't end well for him.]] Cayleb and Merlin later watch the footage [[PassThePopcorn drinking beer and eathing chips.]]

* A sexist lieutenant of the guard refuses to recognize [[spoiler: Nimue's authority]] or even the reality of a woman an a soldier and decides to physically attack her. [[CurbStompBattle It doesn't end well for him.]] Cayleb catches Merlin watching the footage on a loop and [[PassThePopcorn literally eating popcorn]] as he's doing so.

[[AC: Midst Toil And Tribulation]]

* Charlz Doyal's banter, which doubles as the CrowningMomentOfAwesome. Cannonballs are wrecking havoc in his crews, musket snipers killed all the officers except for him, Charisians are encircling his army and what's the biggest problem?

* Charlz Doyals banter. Cannonballs are wrecking havoc, musket snipers killed all the officers, Charisians are encircling them and what's the biggest problem?

* From ''By Heresies Distressed''

* "Ahbraim Zhevons"'s "peculiar negotiating style."

** Later, when a group of Delferahkan armsmen come to the door, Merlin goes to meet them; still wearing his Charisian Imperial Guard armor. They too, are stunned completely silent. For reference, these armsmen are in their own castle, several thousand miles from Charis, and Merlin just walks out in his Imperial Guard armor, calmly introduces himself, and chats with the forty armed men standing in front of him. Then, when one of the [[BloodKnight Inquisitors demands]] that the armsmen attack Merlin, all he does is [[FingerWag shake his finger at them like a "chiding tutor"]]

* Merlin, when faced with a squad of Delferahkan armsmen:
-->Let me see. Surrender, and be tortured to death later for Clyntahn's amusement, or die now, seeing how many of his inquisitors--and their flunkies, I'm afraid, Colonel-- I can kill first. Let me see, let me see. Which one should I choose...?

-->Let me see. Surrender, and be tortured to death later for Clyntahn's amusement, or die now, seeing how many of his inquisitors--and their flunkies, I'm afraid, Colonel-- I can kill first. Let me see, let me see. Which one should I choose...?

-->Let me see. Surrender, and be tortured to death later for Clyntahn's amusement, or die now, seeing how many of his inquisitors--and their flunkies I'm afraid, Colonel, I can kill first. Let me see, let me see. Which one should I choose...?

* From ''A Mighty Fortress'', the friendly rivalry between the Empire's twin capitals of Tellesberg and Cherayth, in which Tellesberg gloats that Cayleb and Sharleyan's child will be born in Old Charis (Take ''that'' Cherayth!) while Cherayth gloats that the child was ''conceived'' in Chisholm.

* The Raging Stiffie incident in book one, followed-up in book two by Cayleb's reaction after learning the meaning behind it.

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