History Funny / SFDebrisStarTrekEnterprise

** When Soong gets to the embryos, Chuck says, "It's the most beautiful greenscreen I've ever seen!"

--->'''Mirror!Archer''': Okay I have a brilliant plan to preserve our empire but Forest is in the way. Options?\\
'''Mirror!Kirk''': [[TheBrute Kill him!]]\\
'''Mirror!Picard''': [[TheEvilGenius Don't be an idiot. Mutiny, then kill him!]]\\
'''Mirror!Kirk''': Ooh even better!\\
'''Mirror!Sisko''': [[StupidEvil I could get behind either one really... even kill him and mutiny against yourself, that sounds pretty good!]] [[EvilLaugh Heh heh heh...]]\\
'''[[GirlsWithMoustaches Mirror!Janeway]]''': [[MinionWithAnFInEvil I've taken the liberty of writing Forest this letter pointing out the various pros in the position and how it can benefit both the empire and himself personally at minimal risk to the ship.]] [[GranolaGirl You see I made the paper myself using a mixture of raw flax and hemp, fermenting it for weeks...]]\\
'''Mirror!Archer''': Shut up.\\
'''Mirror!Janeway''': Sorry I get carried away sometimes. But look at this caligraphy...\\
'''Mirror!Archer''': Shut, up!\\
'''Mirror!Janeway''': Looks like Mr. Grumpypants needs to change into a pair of Happyslacks!

**

'''Chuck:''' ''Holy shi--'' That's ''it''? No one stupid metaphor? Not ''one'' puffed-up bit of tripe? Not a single mentioning of an animal, just to say that you're nothing like that animal? This really is under new management...

* Chuck notices the effects of the new writing team:
-->'''Chuck:''' Well, ''Enterprise'' is launching on a whole new mission now, so Archer feels he needs to commemorate it with a speech. ''(with trepidation)'' Damn him...\\

'''Archer:''' ''(stands up)'' Here we are again... ''(long pause, as he looks to the other crew members)'' Wouldn't have it any other way. (sits down again)''\\
'''Chuck:''' ''Holy shi''-- That's ''it''? No one stupid metaphor? Not ''one'' puffed-up bit of tripe? Not a single mentioning of an animal, just to say that you're nothing like that animal? This really is under new management...

**

**

* From "Borderland":
**

* In "[[Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS04E22TheseAreTheVoyages "These Are the Voyages...]]":

* In "[[Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS04E22TheseAreTheVoyages "These Are the Voyages...]]", Chuck explaining how this episode is a [[BlatantLies worthy successor to previous Trek finales]]:
--> '''Chuck''': Now, spoilers if you haven't seen the other finales, but we've had a pretty impressive run with them: [[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS7E23Endgame Janeway battling Borg every step of the way to thwart their menace and get her crew home]]; [[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS07E25E26WhatYouLeaveBehind Sisko bringing final victory in their war against the Dominion and ending the Pah'wraith threat against the Bajorans]]; and [[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS7E24AllGoodThings Picard preserving the very existence of humanity and likely every other sapient species in this entire quadrant]]. [[SarcasmMode And now, Archer shall get into a]] ''[[SarcasmMode small firefight with some criminals on a CATWALK!]]'' ''([[Film/TheKarateKid "You're The Best (Around)"]] plays as Archer beams proudly at the camera)''
** Chuck describing said fire fight as just really being Riker "playing ''VideoGame/CallOfDuty: Ghosts of the Franchise''".

--->'''Archer:''' ''(chuckles)'' "Archer Elementary"... It has a nice ring to it.

* From "Detained":

* From "Carbon Creek":

* From "Minefield":

* From "Dead Stop":

* From "Future Tense":

* From "Bounty":

* From "The Expanse":

* From "The Forgotten":

* From "Storm Front, Part I":

* From "Observer Effect":

-->'''Archer:''' Rigel was the first place we visited, and now it's going to be the last. [[DelusionsOfEloquence Poetic justice]].\\

--> '''Chuck''': Now, spoilers if you haven't seen the other finales, but we've had a pretty impressive run with them: [[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS7E23Endgame Janeway battling Borg every step of the way to thwart their menace and get her crew home]]; [[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS07E25E26WhatYouLeaveBehind Sisko bringing final victory in their war against the Dominion and ending the Pah'wraith threat against the Bajorans]]; and [[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS7E24AllGoodThings Picard preserving the very existence of humanity and likely every other sapient species in this entire quadrant]]. [[SarcasmMode And now, Archer shall get into a]] ''[[SarcasmMode small firefight with some criminals on a CATWALK!]]'' ''([[Film/TheKarateKid "You're The Best (Around)"]] plays)''

'''Chuck:''' ''(as Archer)'' What, this? Nah, this is just the cure for the Valakians. Sometimes I just like to hold it and laugh until I fall off my stool.

--->'''Chuck:''' Okay, hackneyed, but [[ActuallyPrettyFunny I will admit it was a little amusing]] and I always give credit where it's due. [[DamnedByFaintPraise And God only knows how much]] ''[[DamnedByFaintPraise Enterprise]]'' [[[[DamnedByFaintPraise needs that.]]

-->'''Chuck:''' ''Wait a minute.'' Warbirds are ''Romulan''! This guy is just dicking with them.\\

* This description from his "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E03FightOrFlight}} Fight or Flight]]" review:
--> Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the first post-pilot episode, and things actually manage to get worse. We discover Captain Archer is insane and his crew is populated with bizarre phobias and fetishes. Plus, your one shot unstoppable alien menace of the week.

--> '''Admiral Forrest:''' Captain, what's this extra fuel to fly out of your way and then land on a barren planet?
--> '''Archer:''' Oh, uh we wanted to drop a slug off on another planet?
--> '''Admiral Forrest:''' You spent four billion dollars in fuel to transport a slug!? [[YoureInsane Are you insane, Archer]]?
--> '''Archer:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase Uh, that's "Your Grace" to the likes of you!]]