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Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
**
to:
** Archer's model is "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...wow, you're an asshole."
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* From "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E10FortunateSon}} Fortunate Son]]":
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around. Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that Starfleet wants Archer to go back to Earth to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
--->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around. Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that Starfleet wants Archer to go back to Earth to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
--->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"
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* From "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E10FortunateSon}} Fortunate Son]]":
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around. Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that Starfleet wants Archer to go back to Earth to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
--->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around. Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that Starfleet wants Archer to go back to Earth to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
--->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"
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* From the review of [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e109.asp "Civilization"]]:
--> '''Archer:''' Starfleet could've sent a probe out here to make maps and take pictures, but they didn't. They sent us.\\
'''Chuck:''' Yeah, that was money well spent, wasn't it? (''Imitating Archer'') Hey, thanks for sending us out here instead of a probe! We skipped all the rare astronautical phenomena so I could show you this -- a picture of a boat! That's me in the helmet with the horns on it, dumping the mug of beer on Mayweather's head, and Tucker managed to sleep with an alien and [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e105.asp not get knocked up for once.]] SUCK IT, PROBE!
--> '''Archer:''' Starfleet could've sent a probe out here to make maps and take pictures, but they didn't. They sent us.\\
'''Chuck:''' Yeah, that was money well spent, wasn't it? (''Imitating Archer'') Hey, thanks for sending us out here instead of a probe! We skipped all the rare astronautical phenomena so I could show you this -- a picture of a boat! That's me in the helmet with the horns on it, dumping the mug of beer on Mayweather's head, and Tucker managed to sleep with an alien and [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e105.asp not get knocked up for once.]] SUCK IT, PROBE!
Deleted line(s) 47,49 (click to see context) :
* From the review of [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e109.asp "Civilisation"]]:
--> '''Archer:''' Starfleet could've sent a probe out here to make maps and take pictures, but they didn't. They sent us.\\
'''Chuck:''' Yeah, that was money well spent, wasn't it? (''Imitating Archer'') Hey, thanks for sending us out here instead of a probe! We skipped all the rare astronautical phenomena so I could show you this -- a picture of a boat! That's me in the helmet with the horns on it, dumping the mug of beer on Mayweather's head, and Tucker managed to sleep with an alien and [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e105.asp not get knocked up for once.]] SUCK IT, PROBE!
--> '''Archer:''' Starfleet could've sent a probe out here to make maps and take pictures, but they didn't. They sent us.\\
'''Chuck:''' Yeah, that was money well spent, wasn't it? (''Imitating Archer'') Hey, thanks for sending us out here instead of a probe! We skipped all the rare astronautical phenomena so I could show you this -- a picture of a boat! That's me in the helmet with the horns on it, dumping the mug of beer on Mayweather's head, and Tucker managed to sleep with an alien and [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e105.asp not get knocked up for once.]] SUCK IT, PROBE!
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
**
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** "Well, just put a strip of duct tape on that, and let's see what happens." *fire starts* "Okay, let's try two strips."
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**
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** Archer bitches about how fascist the training is because it says to change your clothes when they get dirty and not to eat your own boogers.
** Had Shran tried to call Sisko "Brown-skin", he'd have bitch-slapped him so hard he'd make Weyoun dizzy.
** Had Shran tried to call Sisko "Brown-skin", he'd have bitch-slapped him so hard he'd make Weyoun dizzy.
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**
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** Who dropped the asteroid on Terra Nova? The Batarians!
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** Chuck's imagined conversation involving Archer, Reed, and a nameless crewman as to explain how pointless the extra crew fmembers are.
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** Chuck's imagined conversation involving Archer, Reed, and a nameless crewman as to explain how pointless the extra crew fmembers members are.
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**
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** Chuck commenting on the stupidity of Tucker's concern over someone putting their hands on a handrail.
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**
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** Chuck's imagined conversation involving Archer, Reed, and a nameless crewman as to explain how pointless the extra crew fmembers are.
* From "Unexpected":
**
* From "Unexpected":
**
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* This description from his "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E03FightOrFlight}} Fight or Flight]]" review:
--> Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the first post-pilot episode, and things actually manage to get worse. We discover Captain Archer is insane and his crew is populated with bizarre phobias and fetishes. Plus, your one shot unstoppable alien menace of the week.
--> Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the first post-pilot episode, and things actually manage to get worse. We discover Captain Archer is insane and his crew is populated with bizarre phobias and fetishes. Plus, your one shot unstoppable alien menace of the week.
Deleted line(s) 15,16 (click to see context) :
* This description from his "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E03FightOrFlight}} Fight or Flight]]" review:
--> Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the first post-pilot episode, and things actually manage to get worse. We discover Captain Archer is insane and his crew is populated with bizarre phobias and fetishes. Plus, your one shot unstoppable alien menace of the week.
--> Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the first post-pilot episode, and things actually manage to get worse. We discover Captain Archer is insane and his crew is populated with bizarre phobias and fetishes. Plus, your one shot unstoppable alien menace of the week.
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Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Chuck:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Just. Stop. Talking,]] Phlox. Please! The last time you [and Archer] tried to have a serious medical conversation [in "Dear Doctor"], [[WouldBeRudeToSayGenocide you condemned an entire race to death,]] ''[[FranchiseKiller and you killed the show doing it!]]'' (''sobbing'') [[FranchiseZombie And yet it's still coming!]] ''[[FranchiseZombie It won't stop! HOW DO YOU KILL A]] ''[[FranchiseZombie STAR TREK]]'' [[FranchiseZombie SHOW THAT'S ALREADY DEAD?!]]''\\
to:
--->'''Chuck:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Just. Stop. Talking,]] Phlox. Please! The last time you [and Archer] tried to have a serious medical conversation [in "Dear Doctor"], "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E13DearDoctor}} Dear Doctor]]"], [[WouldBeRudeToSayGenocide you condemned an entire race to death,]] ''[[FranchiseKiller and you killed the show doing it!]]'' (''sobbing'') [[FranchiseZombie And yet it's still coming!]] ''[[FranchiseZombie It won't stop! HOW DO YOU KILL A]] ''[[FranchiseZombie STAR TREK]]'' [[FranchiseZombie SHOW THAT'S ALREADY DEAD?!]]''\\
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* From "First Flight": The synopsis alone.
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* From "First Flight": "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS02E024FirstFlight}} First Flight]]": The synopsis alone.
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chuck''': Illegal and unethical? ''(laughing)'' When has that ever stopped Phlox? ''(suddenly dead serious)'' No, really; when has that ever stopped Phlox?
to:
-->'''Chuck''': Illegal and unethical? ''(laughing)'' When has that ever stopped Phlox? ''(suddenly dead serious)'' No, really; when has that ever stopped Phlox?Phlox?
* From "First Flight": The synopsis alone.
-->''Opinionated Episode Guide looks at First Flight, the episode that tries to explain how Archer became captain of Enterprise. Of course, there is no explaining that. It's inexplicable.''
** Trip gets a little confused on the definition of "indefinitely", and assumes it means the Vulcans haven't made up their minds.
-->'''Trip:''' This is the best news I've heard since I found a cigarette in my beer and Ruby let me keep it for free!
* From "First Flight": The synopsis alone.
-->''Opinionated Episode Guide looks at First Flight, the episode that tries to explain how Archer became captain of Enterprise. Of course, there is no explaining that. It's inexplicable.''
** Trip gets a little confused on the definition of "indefinitely", and assumes it means the Vulcans haven't made up their minds.
-->'''Trip:''' This is the best news I've heard since I found a cigarette in my beer and Ruby let me keep it for free!
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Chuck''': Illegal and unethical? ''(laughing)'' When has that ever stopped Phlox? ''(suddenly dead serious)'' No, really; when has that ever stopped Phlox?
to:
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Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around? Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that Star Fleet wants Archer to go back to Earth to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
to:
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around? around. Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that Star Fleet Starfleet wants Archer to go back to Earth to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Chuck:'''Illegal and unethical? ''(laughing)'' When has that ever stopped Phlox? ''(suddenly dead serious)'' No, really; when has that ever stopped Phlox?
to:
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* Chuck's protracted response to the NX-01's armor "going offline." ("Broken Bow")
to:
* Chuck's protracted response to the NX-01's armor "going offline." ("Broken Bow")("[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E01E02BrokenBow}} Broken Bow]]")
Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
* From the "Regeneration" review, the hypothetical conversation between Picard and the Bynars, where he accuses them of being no different from the Borg, but the Bynars say they only replace parts of the brains of helpless children. Picard: "Damn, I'm torn between my hatred of the Borg and my hatred of children!"
to:
* From the "Regeneration" "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS02E023Regeneration}} Regeneration]]" review, the hypothetical conversation between Picard and the Bynars, where he accuses them of being no different from the Borg, but the Bynars say they only replace parts of the brains of helpless children. Picard: "Damn, I'm torn between my hatred of the Borg and my hatred of children!"
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* I couldn't stop laughing when Chuck explained why [[ItMakesSenseInContext dogs don't make good diplomats]] in his [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e130.php "A Night in Sickbay" review]].
to:
* I couldn't stop laughing when Chuck explained why [[ItMakesSenseInContext dogs don't make good diplomats]] in his [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e130.php [[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS02E05ANightInSickbay}} "A Night in Sickbay" review]].
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* This description from his "Fight or Flight" review:
to:
* This description from his "Fight "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E03FightOrFlight}} Fight or Flight" Flight]]" review:
Changed line(s) 33 (click to see context) from:
* In his Sleeping Dogs review we get this exchange:
to:
* In his "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E14SleepingDogs}} Sleeping Dogs Dogs]]" review we get this exchange:
Changed line(s) 39,40 (click to see context) from:
* In the review of "Dear Doctor", there is a minor scene in which Phlox gives T'Pol a dental examination. T'Pol opens her mouth suprisingly wide for Phlox, leading to Chuck saying "Jeez, T'Pol! What was your last job, giving blowjobs to Optimus Prime?"
* From "Carpenter Street," Chuck's summarization of Daniels: "I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, tool, tool, an unbelievably annoying tool."
* From "Carpenter Street," Chuck's summarization of Daniels: "I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, tool, tool, an unbelievably annoying tool."
to:
* In the review of "Dear Doctor", "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E13DearDoctor}} Dear Doctor]]", there is a minor scene in which Phlox gives T'Pol a dental examination. T'Pol opens her mouth suprisingly surprisingly wide for Phlox, leading to Chuck saying "Jeez, T'Pol! What was your last job, giving blowjobs to Optimus Prime?"
* From"Carpenter Street," "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS03E11CarpenterStreet}} Carpenter Street]]" Chuck's summarization of Daniels: "I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, tool, tool, an unbelievably annoying tool."
* From
Changed line(s) 42,43 (click to see context) from:
* In "Azati Prime", Chuck makes his first ''Series/QuantumLeap'' joke related to Archer. Of course, given the wibbly-wobboly time travel stuff of Season 3 and ENT as a whole, it was probably long overdue.
* In "Damage", Tucker relaxing to "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WpMlwVwydo The Hamster Dance]]", which returns during T'Pol's shower dream sequence with him.
* In "Damage", Tucker relaxing to "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WpMlwVwydo The Hamster Dance]]", which returns during T'Pol's shower dream sequence with him.
to:
* In "Azati Prime", "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS03E18AzatiPrime}} Azati Prime]]", Chuck makes his first ''Series/QuantumLeap'' joke related to Archer. Of course, given the wibbly-wobboly time travel stuff of Season 3 and ENT as a whole, it was probably long overdue.
* In"Damage", "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS03E19Damage}} Damage]]", Tucker relaxing to "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WpMlwVwydo The Hamster Dance]]", which returns during T'Pol's shower dream sequence with him.
* In
Changed line(s) 45 (click to see context) from:
* In "...These Are The Voyages", Chuck explaining how this episode is a [[BlatantLies worthy successor to previous Trek finales]]:
to:
* In "...These "[[Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS04E22TheseAreTheVoyages "These Are The Voyages", the Voyages...]]", Chuck explaining how this episode is a [[BlatantLies worthy successor to previous Trek finales]]:
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* In the episode "Rogue Planet", Archer says that humans haven't hunted in a hundred years. Chuck theorizes that the reason there were no homosexuals in Star Trek is that sometime in the late 21st century the entire world got together and agreed to adopt every liberal position imaginable in exchange for pushing homosexuals back in the closet.
* From "Fortunate Son":
* From "Fortunate Son":
to:
* In the episode "Rogue Planet", "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E18RoguePlanet}} Rogue Planet]]", Archer says that humans haven't hunted in a hundred years. Chuck theorizes that the reason there were no homosexuals in Star Trek is that sometime in the late 21st century the entire world got together and agreed to adopt every liberal position imaginable in exchange for pushing homosexuals back in the closet.
* From"Fortunate Son":"[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS01E10FortunateSon}} Fortunate Son]]":
* From
Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
* From "Similitude", T'Pol reveals the plan to clone Trip after he is mortally wounded in order to harvest the clone's organs is considered illegal and unethical on the planet the cloning alien comes from Chuck has this response:
to:
* From "Similitude", "[[{{Recap/StarTrekEnterpriseS03E10Similitude}} Similitude]]", T'Pol reveals the plan to clone Trip after he is mortally wounded in order to harvest the clone's organs is considered illegal and unethical on the planet the cloning alien comes from Chuck has this response:
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Chuck:'''Illegal and unethical? (laughing) When has that ever stopped Phlox? (suddenly dead serious)No really when has that ever stopped Phlox?
to:
--->'''Chuck:'''Illegal and unethical? (laughing) ''(laughing)'' When has that ever stopped Phlox? (suddenly ''(suddenly dead serious)No really serious)'' No, really; when has that ever stopped Phlox?
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Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
--->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"
to:
--->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"them]]?!"
*From "Similitude", T'Pol reveals the plan to clone Trip after he is mortally wounded in order to harvest the clone's organs is considered illegal and unethical on the planet the cloning alien comes from Chuck has this response:
--->'''Chuck:'''Illegal and unethical? (laughing) When has that ever stopped Phlox? (suddenly dead serious)No really when has that ever stopped Phlox?
*From "Similitude", T'Pol reveals the plan to clone Trip after he is mortally wounded in order to harvest the clone's organs is considered illegal and unethical on the planet the cloning alien comes from Chuck has this response:
--->'''Chuck:'''Illegal and unethical? (laughing) When has that ever stopped Phlox? (suddenly dead serious)No really when has that ever stopped Phlox?
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Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around and return to base? Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that he is going back to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
to:
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around and return to base? around? Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that he is going Star Fleet wants Archer to go back to Earth to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
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Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
-->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"
to:
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Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:
* In the episode "Rogue Planet", Archer says that humans haven't hunted in a hundred years. Chuck theorizes that the reason there were no homosexuals in Star Trek is that sometime in the late 21st century the entire world got together and agreed to adopt every liberal position imaginable in exchange for pushing homosexuals back in the closet.
to:
* In the episode "Rogue Planet", Archer says that humans haven't hunted in a hundred years. Chuck theorizes that the reason there were no homosexuals in Star Trek is that sometime in the late 21st century the entire world got together and agreed to adopt every liberal position imaginable in exchange for pushing homosexuals back in the closet.closet.
* From "Fortunate Son":
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around and return to base? Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that he is going back to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
-->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"
* From "Fortunate Son":
** Archer is told by command that he needs to turn the Enterprise around and return to base? Why? Well, Chuck's reason is that he is going back to face trial and the commander starts reading from a ListOfTransgressions:
-->"I've got a list of charges here [[LongList longer than a government work's coffee-break]]... Uh, treason, dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming of an officer, uh... ''Really?'' [[NoodleIncident Y-you actually]] ''[[UrineTrouble peed]]'' [[NoodleIncident on them]]?!"
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Added DiffLines:
** Chuck's summarization of T'Pol's subplot: "She's jonesing for some smack. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I'm not joking.]]"
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Changed line(s) 47 (click to see context) from:
* In the episode "Rogue Planet", Archer says that humans haven't hunted in a hundred years. Chuck theorizes that the reason there were no homosexuals in Star Trek is that some time in the late 21st century the entire world got together and agreed to adopt every liberal position imaginable in exchange for pushing homosexuals back in the closet.
to:
* In the episode "Rogue Planet", Archer says that humans haven't hunted in a hundred years. Chuck theorizes that the reason there were no homosexuals in Star Trek is that some time sometime in the late 21st century the entire world got together and agreed to adopt every liberal position imaginable in exchange for pushing homosexuals back in the closet.
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Changed line(s) 46 (click to see context) from:
* "The only thing I hate more than a Vulcan is a bigot!"
to:
* "The only thing I hate more than a Vulcan is a bigot!"bigot!"
* In the episode "Rogue Planet", Archer says that humans haven't hunted in a hundred years. Chuck theorizes that the reason there were no homosexuals in Star Trek is that some time in the late 21st century the entire world got together and agreed to adopt every liberal position imaginable in exchange for pushing homosexuals back in the closet.
* In the episode "Rogue Planet", Archer says that humans haven't hunted in a hundred years. Chuck theorizes that the reason there were no homosexuals in Star Trek is that some time in the late 21st century the entire world got together and agreed to adopt every liberal position imaginable in exchange for pushing homosexuals back in the closet.
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Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
* I couldn't stop laughing when Chuck explained why [[ItMakesSenseInContext dogs don't make good diplomats]] in his [[http://sfdebris.blip.tv/file/4557836/ "A Night in Sickbay" review]].
to:
* I couldn't stop laughing when Chuck explained why [[ItMakesSenseInContext dogs don't make good diplomats]] in his [[http://sfdebris.blip.tv/file/4557836/ com/videos/startrek/e130.php "A Night in Sickbay" review]].
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Added DiffLines:
* Chuck's protracted response to the NX-01's armor "going offline." ("Broken Bow")
** "'''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis It's ARMOR. You BROKE it! It's GONE!]]'''''"
** He then applies this same logic to other things: like Archer barking "'''Chair offline!'''" and falling on his ass, or Hoshi shouting "'''Wall offline!'''" and being blown into space.
* From the "Regeneration" review, the hypothetical conversation between Picard and the Bynars, where he accuses them of being no different from the Borg, but the Bynars say they only replace parts of the brains of helpless children. Picard: "Damn, I'm torn between my hatred of the Borg and my hatred of children!"
* Any and all comments regarding how much contempt Chuck has for the "space redneck" persona given Tucker throughout these reviews.
* I couldn't stop laughing when Chuck explained why [[ItMakesSenseInContext dogs don't make good diplomats]] in his [[http://sfdebris.blip.tv/file/4557836/ "A Night in Sickbay" review]].
-->'''Chuck:''' (as Archer) No, Porthos! We cannot reduce troop presence in South Korea! BAD DOG! BAD DOG!
** Chuck saying that the model of [[LoyalAnimalCompanion Porthos]] used was based on the same technology as the model of Robert Beltran used on ''[[Series/StarTrekVoyager Voyager]]''.
** As Archer goes into his FreudianSlipperySlope with T'Pol, we cut to Picard {{Face Palm}}ing after each Freudian slip.
** Addressing the undertones Archer being horny starting now and ending now gives to the character, "[[{{Squick}} What the heck are you doing with that dog, if, the moment it's gone, you're overwhelmed with urges that need satisfying? I don't want to know.]]
** Chuck's breakdown at the end of part two.
--->'''Chuck:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Just. Stop. Talking,]] Phlox. Please! The last time you [and Archer] tried to have a serious medical conversation [in "Dear Doctor"], [[WouldBeRudeToSayGenocide you condemned an entire race to death,]] ''[[FranchiseKiller and you killed the show doing it!]]'' (''sobbing'') [[FranchiseZombie And yet it's still coming!]] ''[[FranchiseZombie It won't stop! HOW DO YOU KILL A]] ''[[FranchiseZombie STAR TREK]]'' [[FranchiseZombie SHOW THAT'S ALREADY DEAD?!]]''\\
'''Phlox:''' Sexual tension, captain, there's no doubt in my mind.\\
'''Chuck:''' (''sigh'') Remember, if they don't stop coming: [[BetterToDieThanBeKilled always save the last bullet for yourself.]]
* This description from his "Fight or Flight" review:
--> Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the first post-pilot episode, and things actually manage to get worse. We discover Captain Archer is insane and his crew is populated with bizarre phobias and fetishes. Plus, your one shot unstoppable alien menace of the week.
* Mirror Archer asking advice from the other captains, represented by pictures of bearded Shatner, Stewart, and Brooks, and one photoshopped on Mulgrew. And Mirror Janeway turns out to be an annoying GranolaGirl.
** The whole thing is a piece of brilliance from start to finish really...
--->'''Mirror!Archer''': Okay I have a brilliant plan to preserve our empire but Forest is in the way. Options?\\
'''Mirror!Kirk''': [[TheBrute Kill him!]]\\
'''Mirror!Picard''': [[TheEvilGenius Don't be an idiot. Mutiny, then kill him!]]\\
'''Mirror!Kirk''': Ooh even better!\\
'''Mirror!Sisko''': [[StupidEvil I could get behind either one really... even kill him and mutiny against yourself, that sounds pretty good!]] [[EvilLaugh Heh heh heh...]]\\
'''[[GirlsWithMoustaches Mirror!Janeway]]''': [[MinionWithAnFInEvil I've taken the liberty of writing Forest this letter pointing out the various pros in the position and how it can benefit both the empire and himself personally at minimal risk to the ship.]] [[GranolaGirl You see I made the paper myself using a mixture of raw flax and hemp, fermenting it for weeks...]]\\
'''Mirror!Archer''': Shut up.\\
'''Mirror!Janeway''': Sorry I get carried away sometimes. But look at this caligraphy...\\
'''Mirror!Archer''': Shut, up!\\
'''Mirror!Janeway''': Looks like Mr. Grumpypants needs to change into a pair of Happyslacks!
** Then there's the second part, where Mirror!Kirk gets tired of Mirror!Picard sassing him, and threatens him with his worst nightmare. When Mirror!Picard fears Mirror!Kirk's going to rape him with a giant spider, Mirror!Kirk says he's just gonna shoot him... and Mirror!Picard [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech tears into him for thinking he'd be scared of something so petty]]. Meanwhile, we finally find out what would make Mirror!Janeway crack:
--->What in the name of Mother Earth's cunt happened to my brownies!?
** Which makes it somewhat amusing to speculate whether Chuck's depiction of Mirror!Janeway being constantly stoned out of her mind, might be something enforced by the denizens of the Mirror Universe, as a measure to keep her even slightly under control and the rest of them safe?!
** It's also hilarious that for the second "In A Mirror Darkly" video, the usual starting theme - Kryptonite, by Three Doors Down - is played ''backwards'' over the opening sequence.
* In his Sleeping Dogs review we get this exchange:
-->'''Klingon Woman:''' ''(looking at a hypospray)'' What is that? Is that what you used against my crew?\\
'''Chuck:''' ''(as Archer)'' What, this? Nah, this is just the cure for the Valakians. Sometimes I just like to hold it and laugh until I fall off my stool.
* From the review of [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e109.asp "Civilisation"]]:
--> '''Archer:''' Starfleet could've sent a probe out here to make maps and take pictures, but they didn't. They sent us.\\
'''Chuck:''' Yeah, that was money well spent, wasn't it? (''Imitating Archer'') Hey, thanks for sending us out here instead of a probe! We skipped all the rare astronautical phenomena so I could show you this -- a picture of a boat! That's me in the helmet with the horns on it, dumping the mug of beer on Mayweather's head, and Tucker managed to sleep with an alien and [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e105.asp not get knocked up for once.]] SUCK IT, PROBE!
* In the review of "Dear Doctor", there is a minor scene in which Phlox gives T'Pol a dental examination. T'Pol opens her mouth suprisingly wide for Phlox, leading to Chuck saying "Jeez, T'Pol! What was your last job, giving blowjobs to Optimus Prime?"
* From "Carpenter Street," Chuck's summarization of Daniels: "I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, tool, tool, an unbelievably annoying tool."
-->'''[[Series/{{Scrubs}} J.D.]]:''' Yeah.
* In "Azati Prime", Chuck makes his first ''Series/QuantumLeap'' joke related to Archer. Of course, given the wibbly-wobboly time travel stuff of Season 3 and ENT as a whole, it was probably long overdue.
* In "Damage", Tucker relaxing to "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WpMlwVwydo The Hamster Dance]]", which returns during T'Pol's shower dream sequence with him.
* In "...These Are The Voyages", Chuck explaining how this episode is a [[BlatantLies worthy successor to previous Trek finales]]:
--> '''Chuck''': Now, spoilers if you haven't seen the other finales, but we've had a pretty impressive run with them: [[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS7E23Endgame Janeway battling Borg every step of the way to thwart their menace and get her crew home]]; [[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS07E25E26WhatYouLeaveBehind Sisko bringing final victory in their war against the Dominion and ending the Pah'wraith threat against the Bajorans]]; and [[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS7E24AllGoodThings Picard preserving the very existence of humanity and likely every other sapient species in this entire quadrant]]. [[SarcasmMode And now, Archer shall get into a]] ''[[SarcasmMode small firefight with some criminals on a CATWALK!]]'' ''[[[Film/TheKarateKid You're The Best (Around)]] plays]''
* "The only thing I hate more than a Vulcan is a bigot!"
** "'''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis It's ARMOR. You BROKE it! It's GONE!]]'''''"
** He then applies this same logic to other things: like Archer barking "'''Chair offline!'''" and falling on his ass, or Hoshi shouting "'''Wall offline!'''" and being blown into space.
* From the "Regeneration" review, the hypothetical conversation between Picard and the Bynars, where he accuses them of being no different from the Borg, but the Bynars say they only replace parts of the brains of helpless children. Picard: "Damn, I'm torn between my hatred of the Borg and my hatred of children!"
* Any and all comments regarding how much contempt Chuck has for the "space redneck" persona given Tucker throughout these reviews.
* I couldn't stop laughing when Chuck explained why [[ItMakesSenseInContext dogs don't make good diplomats]] in his [[http://sfdebris.blip.tv/file/4557836/ "A Night in Sickbay" review]].
-->'''Chuck:''' (as Archer) No, Porthos! We cannot reduce troop presence in South Korea! BAD DOG! BAD DOG!
** Chuck saying that the model of [[LoyalAnimalCompanion Porthos]] used was based on the same technology as the model of Robert Beltran used on ''[[Series/StarTrekVoyager Voyager]]''.
** As Archer goes into his FreudianSlipperySlope with T'Pol, we cut to Picard {{Face Palm}}ing after each Freudian slip.
** Addressing the undertones Archer being horny starting now and ending now gives to the character, "[[{{Squick}} What the heck are you doing with that dog, if, the moment it's gone, you're overwhelmed with urges that need satisfying? I don't want to know.]]
** Chuck's breakdown at the end of part two.
--->'''Chuck:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Just. Stop. Talking,]] Phlox. Please! The last time you [and Archer] tried to have a serious medical conversation [in "Dear Doctor"], [[WouldBeRudeToSayGenocide you condemned an entire race to death,]] ''[[FranchiseKiller and you killed the show doing it!]]'' (''sobbing'') [[FranchiseZombie And yet it's still coming!]] ''[[FranchiseZombie It won't stop! HOW DO YOU KILL A]] ''[[FranchiseZombie STAR TREK]]'' [[FranchiseZombie SHOW THAT'S ALREADY DEAD?!]]''\\
'''Phlox:''' Sexual tension, captain, there's no doubt in my mind.\\
'''Chuck:''' (''sigh'') Remember, if they don't stop coming: [[BetterToDieThanBeKilled always save the last bullet for yourself.]]
* This description from his "Fight or Flight" review:
--> Opinionated Enterprise Episode Guide looks at the first post-pilot episode, and things actually manage to get worse. We discover Captain Archer is insane and his crew is populated with bizarre phobias and fetishes. Plus, your one shot unstoppable alien menace of the week.
* Mirror Archer asking advice from the other captains, represented by pictures of bearded Shatner, Stewart, and Brooks, and one photoshopped on Mulgrew. And Mirror Janeway turns out to be an annoying GranolaGirl.
** The whole thing is a piece of brilliance from start to finish really...
--->'''Mirror!Archer''': Okay I have a brilliant plan to preserve our empire but Forest is in the way. Options?\\
'''Mirror!Kirk''': [[TheBrute Kill him!]]\\
'''Mirror!Picard''': [[TheEvilGenius Don't be an idiot. Mutiny, then kill him!]]\\
'''Mirror!Kirk''': Ooh even better!\\
'''Mirror!Sisko''': [[StupidEvil I could get behind either one really... even kill him and mutiny against yourself, that sounds pretty good!]] [[EvilLaugh Heh heh heh...]]\\
'''[[GirlsWithMoustaches Mirror!Janeway]]''': [[MinionWithAnFInEvil I've taken the liberty of writing Forest this letter pointing out the various pros in the position and how it can benefit both the empire and himself personally at minimal risk to the ship.]] [[GranolaGirl You see I made the paper myself using a mixture of raw flax and hemp, fermenting it for weeks...]]\\
'''Mirror!Archer''': Shut up.\\
'''Mirror!Janeway''': Sorry I get carried away sometimes. But look at this caligraphy...\\
'''Mirror!Archer''': Shut, up!\\
'''Mirror!Janeway''': Looks like Mr. Grumpypants needs to change into a pair of Happyslacks!
** Then there's the second part, where Mirror!Kirk gets tired of Mirror!Picard sassing him, and threatens him with his worst nightmare. When Mirror!Picard fears Mirror!Kirk's going to rape him with a giant spider, Mirror!Kirk says he's just gonna shoot him... and Mirror!Picard [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech tears into him for thinking he'd be scared of something so petty]]. Meanwhile, we finally find out what would make Mirror!Janeway crack:
--->What in the name of Mother Earth's cunt happened to my brownies!?
** Which makes it somewhat amusing to speculate whether Chuck's depiction of Mirror!Janeway being constantly stoned out of her mind, might be something enforced by the denizens of the Mirror Universe, as a measure to keep her even slightly under control and the rest of them safe?!
** It's also hilarious that for the second "In A Mirror Darkly" video, the usual starting theme - Kryptonite, by Three Doors Down - is played ''backwards'' over the opening sequence.
* In his Sleeping Dogs review we get this exchange:
-->'''Klingon Woman:''' ''(looking at a hypospray)'' What is that? Is that what you used against my crew?\\
'''Chuck:''' ''(as Archer)'' What, this? Nah, this is just the cure for the Valakians. Sometimes I just like to hold it and laugh until I fall off my stool.
* From the review of [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e109.asp "Civilisation"]]:
--> '''Archer:''' Starfleet could've sent a probe out here to make maps and take pictures, but they didn't. They sent us.\\
'''Chuck:''' Yeah, that was money well spent, wasn't it? (''Imitating Archer'') Hey, thanks for sending us out here instead of a probe! We skipped all the rare astronautical phenomena so I could show you this -- a picture of a boat! That's me in the helmet with the horns on it, dumping the mug of beer on Mayweather's head, and Tucker managed to sleep with an alien and [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e105.asp not get knocked up for once.]] SUCK IT, PROBE!
* In the review of "Dear Doctor", there is a minor scene in which Phlox gives T'Pol a dental examination. T'Pol opens her mouth suprisingly wide for Phlox, leading to Chuck saying "Jeez, T'Pol! What was your last job, giving blowjobs to Optimus Prime?"
* From "Carpenter Street," Chuck's summarization of Daniels: "I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, tool, tool, an unbelievably annoying tool."
-->'''[[Series/{{Scrubs}} J.D.]]:''' Yeah.
* In "Azati Prime", Chuck makes his first ''Series/QuantumLeap'' joke related to Archer. Of course, given the wibbly-wobboly time travel stuff of Season 3 and ENT as a whole, it was probably long overdue.
* In "Damage", Tucker relaxing to "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WpMlwVwydo The Hamster Dance]]", which returns during T'Pol's shower dream sequence with him.
* In "...These Are The Voyages", Chuck explaining how this episode is a [[BlatantLies worthy successor to previous Trek finales]]:
--> '''Chuck''': Now, spoilers if you haven't seen the other finales, but we've had a pretty impressive run with them: [[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS7E23Endgame Janeway battling Borg every step of the way to thwart their menace and get her crew home]]; [[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS07E25E26WhatYouLeaveBehind Sisko bringing final victory in their war against the Dominion and ending the Pah'wraith threat against the Bajorans]]; and [[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS7E24AllGoodThings Picard preserving the very existence of humanity and likely every other sapient species in this entire quadrant]]. [[SarcasmMode And now, Archer shall get into a]] ''[[SarcasmMode small firefight with some criminals on a CATWALK!]]'' ''[[[Film/TheKarateKid You're The Best (Around)]] plays]''
* "The only thing I hate more than a Vulcan is a bigot!"
