History Funny / SCPFoundationSCP914ExperimentLog

''"[[DarthWiki/MostAnnoyingSound This thing will not stop talking]] about its "[[KnowNothingKnowItAll grand scientific achievements]]" to everyone it meets. Request to gain as much information as possible about its existence and smash it with a sledgehammer?" - Researcher Blais''\\

''"[[MostAnnoyingSound This thing will not stop talking]] about its "[[KnowNothingKnowItAll grand scientific achievements]]" to everyone it meets. Request to gain as much information as possible about its existence and smash it with a sledgehammer?" - Researcher Blais''\\

''Note: What's the status of that background check? First police and now MI6 are attempting to arrest Researcher I. Darby, also bring him to my office when you are able - Chief Brandt to staff\\
Note: Created instances of SCP-705 have been destroyed and relevant members of MI6 have been administered amnestics. I have no idea who let them in, but Director Hackett is absolutely furious and I advise the one responsible to stay far away from his office for a while. - Senior Security Officer Schwartz and Dr. Veritas''

''Note: Huh. Well, I guess it's already about as sorted as it could get, so…okay? -Prof. Wren'' [[note]]We're not quite sure what happened to the 1:1 test.[[/note]]\\

Note: Just be sure to practice safe sax. - R.A. Walker\\

'''Total items:''' One 914 first aid kit, from test 914-1040. 3 kilograms of Phosphorus sesquisulfide (P4S3), in an airtight container with no oxygen (to prevent ignition). Ten-kilogram canister with the first 5 noble gasses (Helium, neon, argon, krypton, xenon).\\

''Note: After leaving sight of posters for extended periods of time, viewers suffer extreme hangovers and withdrawal symptoms due to lack of endorphins that the posters flood viewers' brains with. I personally feel like I drunk an army's worth of Vodka and then went a few rounds with Joseph Stalin. - Transfer Ivanoviv''\\
\\

'''Total items:''' 5 Transcend StoreJet portable hard drives containing the documentation of a rough plan for a fan-made sequel to the video game "VideoGame/EliteBeatAgents", with lists of songs themed around the SevenDeadlySins and SevenHeavenlyVirtues as defined by Roman Catholic theology. The documentation also contains reasoning behind the selection of each song. The songs themselves are also contained on the hard drives.\\

''Note: It would appear that I managed to give 914 a set of inputs of things I want disposed of. I have deduced that while 914 is not sentient, it may have some sort of learning mentality, and it has learned that results that end in my death are desirable. [[CasualDangerDialogue However, it has failed to achieve its goal due to the inputs not being suitable or in large enough quantities for its task.]] - Researcher Darby\\

'''Output:''' 13 1g rubber balls. Each ball has improved collision elasticity to where they retain over 99.999% of their kinetic force when bouncing off of a surface other than each other. Contact between any of the balls causes them to lose all kinetic energy within them, accompanied by a loud "pop."\\

'''Output:''' 13 1g rubber balls. Each ball has improved collision elasticity to where they retain over 99.999% of their kinetic force when bouncing off of a surface other than each other. Contact between any of the balls causes them to lose all kinetic energy within them, accompanied by a loud "pop."\\

'''Output''': One ball, that appears unchanged from the input. There is however, a difference in its [REDACTED] properties, exhibited when dropped by Dr Brown. [REDACTED] forty five casualties, twelve injuries [DATA EXPUNGED] forty-five casualties, and reached escape velocity. Currently thought to be orbiting Mars.[[note]]These are essentially the same qualities as SPC-018, though perhaps to a lesser degree.[[/note]]

'''Output:''' 13 1g rubber balls. Each ball has improved collision elasticity to where they retain over 99.999% of their kinetic force when bouncing off of a surface other than each other. Contact between any of the balls causes them to lose all kinetic energy within them, accompanied by a loud "pop."\\

'''Output:''' One (1) bearing, suspended by an invisible outer wheel of unknown material. Although invisible, the outer wheel physically exists and appears to use higher-dimensional translations to redirect the force of gravity and propel the object forward at at about half the speed of free fall. The wheel can be easily stopped at low speeds, but gains momentum quickly while unhindered. Prospective researchers should note that under the influence of gravity the wheel will always retain a 1/4mg horizontal force, even while at rest.\\

Note 4: [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. [[YankTheDogsChain I thought it would make sense for ONCE.]] But no, [[{{Troll}} it had to be messing with us again]]. One of my interns - sorry, Junior Researchers - found out that, if you superimpose all the paths from the tracker, you get a 3D image of the Foundation logo. It's pretty for art drawn in GPS, but [[HeroicBSOD it still makes this whole project meaningless]]. Piece of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] doesn't follow set paths. It does whatever it wants. - Dr. Mason\\

'''Output:''' [[BigNo One 200x148mm piece of paper in the shape of a zero or letter O. One similarly sized piece of paper in the shape of a capital letter N or Z.]] Several hundred 5-10mm triangular scraps of paper. [[BringMyBrownPants One small puddle of brownish ink.]]\\

''Notice: In an effort to preserve SCP-914's structural integrity, and for the sake of Dr. Veritas' blood pressure, I strongly caution against personnel using its own parts in testing. Thank you. - Dr. Gears.''

'''Output:''' 13 1g rubber balls. Each ball has improved collision elasticity to where they retain over 99.999% of their kinetic force when bouncing off of a surface other than each other. Contact between any of the balls causes them to lose all kinetic energy within them, accompanied by a loud "pop."\\

'''Output:''' 13 1g rubber balls. Each ball has improved collision elasticity to where they retain over 99.999% of their kinetic force when bouncing off of a surface other than each other. Contact between any of the balls causes them to lose all kinetic energy within them, accompanied by a loud "pop."\\

'''Setting:''' Fine

''Note: I think I need to re-iterate. Feel free to test at your own discretion, but for Christ's sake, use common sense. [[TranquilFury I swear, when I find Wood]] I'm going to [=[=][[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon REDACTED]][=]=]. Dr. Smith.''\\

Note: Maybe SCP-914 is still on the Fritz after that panel got taken off - Jr. Researcher Norton\\

'''Output:''' [[TheCatCameBack 1 Mug Cat]], patterned differently from input\\

Note: Don't steal my mug cat, please. Its claws are comparable to ceramic knives. I've lost several mouse pads to its claws. Also, don't cry over spilt liquids. -Inter Lunar''

''Note: I'm going for an unbreakable rope''\\

'''Output:''' A hempen ambush noose. When approached by a human, it lunges at them in an attempt to wrap itself around its neck and strangle them.\\

Note: Umm, Now that explains a lot - Researcher Darby''

Note: DON'T. From what I can tell, we don't want a contact-killing 682 from that. -Intern Lunar\\
Note: Well, it already kills everything in its path - Dr. Matism\\
Note: I just realized that 682 is the SCP version of Franchise/{{Kirby}} - Junior Researcher Kenwol\\
Note: A VERY ANGRY Kirby no less. -Intern Lunar''

''Note: Testing had to be suspended for 5 minutes due to uncontrollable laughter on the part of Prof. Wren and several other staff members present at the time. Laughter was determined not to be caused by any anomalous properties of the shirt.\\

''Note: After hours of pleading with Veritas, I got permission to run this test to try to get the servers back online - Dr. Engelhart''\\

'''Total items:''' One USB containing a virus that is used to bring websites online, in the case that we would need to bring an anomalous website online, one 100mg vial of luck, and a post it note saying, “please have mercy and don’t let me be fed to SCP-682”.\\

''Note: I'm trying to make [[FakeMemories an "amnestic"]] that can rewire the brain [[HeelFaceBrainwashing to believe they are Foundation personnel]]''\\

* Jr. Guard Romanio decides to spice things up:

Note: That Vodka was tested with a few D-Class personnel, who proceeded to attempt a revolution down in their cells, which killed two of them. I was on surveillance and saw when they broke out. They surprised two guards and managed to lock them in their cells. Then they took the D-Class that didn't drink the vodka and started accusing them of spying for the capitalists before shooting them. So no, you did not manage to run a test without casualties. - Security Chief Brandt\\

''Note: Since Veritas has stopped twitching whenever any of us go near the testing area, we’ve starting testing back up. To start, we wanted to see scientifically whether or not 914 is capable of holding grudges, and has opinions of specific people. To do this, every test will use the same input and setting. 5 chocolate rabbits and a hand watch is the input, partially just as arbitrary complex objects for 914 to project meaning onto, and partly in keeping with the holiday spirit. Fine is the setting, chosen because it has more variance than the other options, but is less likely to kill people than Very Fine. We also have a '''lot''' of security and medical personnel on standby, due to 914’s repeated attempts on… certain researchers’ lives.''\\

''Note: It’s a “watchdog” - Intern Lunar''\\

''Note: The energy rays produced by the gemstone upon contact with living organisms accelerates entropy to a point that immediately after being hit, the affected region becomes unresponsive and blackens as if from a major burn. After several minutes, if the affected region is not treated by amputation, the effect spreads to the whole body and death is observed after several hours. The gemstone has been sent to secure storage for containment and possible future study. - Medical Director Candon\\

Note: got a new keyboard and It looks like the cat steals stuff. Don't leave out liquids you don't want being moved. If someone wants 25 kazoos back, tell me. -Intern Lunar''

Note: Absolutely not. I ran out of the stuff that Beiderman gave me and we have no guarantee that that thing won't function as a clone bay or something. I moved it to anomalous storage. Don't ask where, I'm not telling you. - Veritas\\

'''Output:''' The Bible. Exposure to it causes anyone who reads it to have advanced knowledge of the Catholic church, including [[ContentLeak undisclosed Vatican secrets]].\\

'''Item:''' one note reading "what happened to Darby?"\\

Note: I have to agree with Lombardi on this one. At this point I am going to run out of "914 Brand Pain Killers" to give Researcher Darby and I don't entirely know if they are non-addictive. -Doctor S.''

Note: Way ahead of you, Wren. - Veritas''

Note: 914 reversed my direction of travel through time. Twice. Is putting living organisms through 914 still an issue if I'm doing it to stop [[TimeParadox the timeline from screwing itself?]] You know what, I don't care. The consequences of my - do they count as actions? The possible consequences of my maybe-actions can find me in the infirmary, but I maintain that [[NeverTheSelvesShallMeet everything I did was temporally necessitated by 914]]. Time travel is bullshit. -Rasclon''

'''Output:''' 13 1g rubber balls. Each ball has improved collision elasticity to where they retain over 99.999% of their kinetic force when bouncing off of a surface other than each other. Contact between any of the balls causes them to lose all kinetic energy within them, accompanied by a loud "pop."\\

'''Output:''' One red Nintendo Switch with blue Joy-Con controllers attached, stylized to resemble the uniform worn by franchise mascot Mario. The game's data now includes a level titled "Super Cario Pros 1-1," a perfect copy of World 1-1 from the original Super Mario Bros. NES game done in the game's "dark haunted house" theme.[[note]][[BreakingTheFourthWall This level actually exists now]]: 49B-PYV-M6G[[/note]] \\

''Note: Poor guy. The idea was to create a substitute of amnestics production. - GJTW Bradley\\

'''Output:''' One red Nintendo Switch with blue Joy-Con controllers attached, stylized to resemble the uniform worn by franchise mascot Mario. The game's data now includes a level titled "Super Cario Pros 1-1," a perfect copy of World 1-1 from the original Super Mario Bros. NES game done in the game's "dark haunted house" theme.[[note]][[BreakingTheFourthWall This level actually exists now]]: 49B-PYV-M6G]][[/note]] \\

'''Output:''' One red Nintendo Switch with blue Joy-Con controllers attached, stylized to resemble the uniform worn by franchise mascot Mario. The game's data now includes a level titled "Super Cario Pros 1-1," a perfect copy of World 1-1 from the original Super Mario Bros. NES game done in the game's "dark haunted house" theme.\\

* [[SchmuckBait It's not long]] before [[HereWeGoAgain Researcher Murray's mistakes are repeated]]:
-->'''Test 914-0328'''\\
'''Name:''' Junior Researcher Altdamm\\
'''Date:''' 04/01/19\\
'''Total Items:''' Two 4GB [=SanDisk=] 4GB Cruzer Blade USB 3.0 memory sticks, each containing a single NTFS partition of the .apk file of the 2.0223_274 version of ''VideoGame/GirlsFrontline''; one X-Sponge; one 1:10 model of the ''Girls Frontline'' character Grizzly [=MkV=]\\

'''Input:''' One USB and one X-Sponge\\
'''Setting:''' Fine\\
'''Output:''' One X-Sponge which automatically redacts all information not related to the game ''Girls Frontline'' in any form. ███████ ███████ ████ ██ ████████ ███████████ ██████████ ██ ███ ████ ██ ███████ ███████ ██.\\
''Note: [[WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong ██████ ██, ████ ███ ████ ██ ████ ████████ ██ ████?]] -Altdamm''\\

'''Input:''' One USB and one model of Grizzly [=MkV=]\\
''Reviewing security footage has shown that [[HereWeGoAgain Junior Researcher Altdamm inserted a box full of human tissue stolen from a deceased D-class personnel in the Medical Department]], including said personnel's clothing.''\\
'''Setting:''' Very Fine\\
'''Output:''' An entity resembling the Girls Frontline character Grizzly [=MkV=], as well as a fully loaded Kel-Tec PMR-30 automatic pistol. Initially disoriented, [[TurnedAgainstTheirMasters the entity grabbed the pistol and shot Junior Researcher Altdamm six times in his abdomen and chest]], before surrendering itself to Foundation authorities. Junior Researcher Altdamm himself died of blood loss.\\
''Note: [[OhNoNotAgain Again? Seriously?]] The next person caught [[PerverseSexualLust attempting to create a reality bender waifu]] with 914 [[ShootTheDangerousMinion will be rewarded with a bullet in the head]]. -Senior Researcher ██████\\
Addendum: When cleaning up 914, a clock was found at the output booth. The hour hand always points at Dr. Veritas, the minute hand always points at Dr. Cleveland, and the second hand always points at Maintenance Technician Johnson. The clock would also constantly rotate such that the "V" marking always points towards the entity resembling Grizzly [=MkV=]. Security footage has shown that the entity used 914 at the "Very Fine" setting [[IAmNotAGun in an attempt to alter the automatic pistol]].''
* The Foundation's security seems to be lapsing:
-->'''Test 914-0348'''\\
'''Name:''' Detective Brandt\\
'''Date:''' 16/1/2019\\
'''Total Items:''' A photograph of Researcher I. Darby and an arrest warrant for said Researcher.\\

'''Input:''' Above Mentioned\\

'''Output:''' A Photograph of Researcher I. Darby that shows his actions, no time of reference is included so no information can be granted from said photograph. Arrest warrant has been folded in shape of a small german shepherd and is completely animate.\\
''Note: [[TheGuardsMustBeCrazy First off, HOW THE HELL DID A POLICEMAN GET INSIDE THE FACILITY?! Second, why did you let him walk out of here after using 914?]] - Security Overseer Brundon\\
Note: How this man managed to enter this facility aside, given the arrest warrant, will someone please do a background check on Researcher Isaac Darby? The last thing we want is a criminal in charge of these experiments. - Dr. ██████\\
Note: The detective was administered amnestics. I would also really appreciate it if you yelled at the Human Resources instead. - Dr. Veritas''
* Dr. Xerial turns out to ''not'' be [[WhatAnIdiot the bottom of the barrel]] in terms of common sense:
-->'''Test 914-0353'''\\
'''Name:''' Dr. Harvey\\
'''Date:''' 02/03/2019\\
'''Total items:''' A picture of SCP-096.\\

'''Input:''' A picture of SCP-096\\

'''Output:''' A picture of SCP-690\\
''Note: Thank goodness -Dr. Harvey.\\
Note: No one looked at the photo and it was upside down the entire time.\\
Note: What the hell? [[WhatWereYouThinking What made you think this was a good idea?]] Didn't you learn from the test I performed earlier this year? This isn't a game! Requesting Dr. Harvey be reviewed for disciplinary actions. Count yourself lucky it didn't decide to kill you all. - Dr. Ricardo''
* Dr. Harvey is more than a little bitter over getting chewed out:
-->'''Test 914-0354'''\\
'''Name:''' Dr. Harvey\\
'''Date:''' 04/03/2019\\
'''Total Items:''' A wallet, pieces of a desk, a mug labeled “number 1# researcher”\\

'''Input:''' A wallet\\
'''Setting:''' Rough\\
'''Output:''' Torn up leather and plastic\\

'''Input:''' Pieces of a desk\\
'''Setting:''' Rough\\
'''Output:''' Sawed up wooden planks\\

'''Input:''' A mug labeled “number 1# researcher.”\\

'''Output:''' None\\

* Fun with photos and some sort of slime:
-->'''Test 914-1065'''\\
'''Name:''' R.A. Walker\\

'''Total Items:''' A framed picture of a few researchers, interns, and other characters from Facility 19-23, a bottle of unknown goo\\

'''Input:''' Framed drawing of Jeff the mug cat\\

'''Output:''' The following poem:
--->My naym is Jeff\\
I am a cat\\
I hold the drink\\
But it go flat\\
I eat the food\\
And not get fat\\
I spill the tea\\
All on your hat\\
My naym is Jeff\\
Jeff the mug cat
-->''Note: ‘On your hat’? [[TemptingFate As far as I know, Jeff’s never spilled on someone’s hat.]]\\
He got into my room and spilled tea on my favorite beanie. - Intern Snevets''\\

'''Input:''' Framed picture of Dr. Zavalosa\\

'''Output:''' Framed picture of Dr. Zavalosa. His legs, arms, and torso are made of metal and synthetic materials. He appears to be running from something. He wears the look of someone who fears for his life.\\
''Note: Mmm, I don't like this one bit, please incinerate it. - Dr. Zavalosa''\\

'''Input:''' Framed picture of R. Vivic\\

'''Output:''' A framed picture of a wolf with Vivic's eyes and clothes.\\

'''Input:''' Framed picture of R. Jane Cho\\

'''Output:''' Framed picture of five cats. Items worn by three of these cats point to them being R. Cho, R. Miniwa, and Intern Lunar. Jeff and a green cat that might be Olive are present as well. They are playing in a cat tree together.\\

'''Input:''' Framed drawing of "Olive the Peridot Cat"\\

'''Output:''' Framed picture of "Perry the Olivine Cat"\\

''Note: I found some odd-looking goo in the corner. I cannot identify it. [[TemptingFate Perhaps SCP-914 will be of assistance.]] - R.A. Walker''\\
'''Input:''' Bottle of questionable goo\\

'''Output:''' A bottle labelled "94D Amnestic".\\
''Note: How the hell did I get here? I was just sprinkling some plastic on my city model. What's this bottle? I don't think it's mine. Maybe give it to Darby? - R.A. Walker''\\
'''Addendum:''' R.A. Walker was placed in the infirmary to determine whether or not 94D Amnestic has any long-lasting ill effects. After three days, [[WhatWereYouThinking he was lectured about placing unidentifiable things in 914]], then returned to work. It was determined that merely possessing the bottle caused memories to be erased. The bottle was personally delivered to Darby by █████, using a drone to carry it.\\
''Note: [[TooDumbToLive Thanks for the model glue, guys.]] - Researcher Darby\\
Note: Items placed in anomalous storage. Walker was assigned to mandatory hazardous material training and is required to write an essay titled: "[[LethallyStupid Is using unknown, possibly dangerous material with SCP-914 a stupid idea?]]" On my desk by Monday. - Veritas''
* 914 has never given straight answers to people's questions before, and it's not going to start now:
-->'''Test 914-1067'''\\
'''Name:''' Guest Junior Technical Writer Bradley\\
'''Date:''' 03/10/2019\\
'''Total Items:''' Three notes, three pencils\\
''Note: I have a lot of tiny pencils that I can hardly use anymore… might as well have 914 use them up. - GJTW Bradley''\\

'''Input:''' One note reading "Why are you so hostile to Darby?", 1 pencil\\
'''Setting:''' 1:1\\
'''Output:''' A note with [[ItAmusedMe a laughing-face emoticon]] in the middle of a concentric series of rings resembling the WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes logo.\\
''Note: So… it's saying that torturing Darby is funny? In other words, [[ButtMonkey Darby is a designated slapstick victim?]] I thought {{slapstick}} was supposed to ''not'' cause serious injury. - GJTW Bradley''\\

'''Input:''' One note reading "Why are you so friendly to MT Johnson?", one pencil\\
'''Setting:''' 1:1\\
'''Output:''' A note with a crude sketch of MT Johnson and [[CallBack a tall, vaguely mechanical-looking Caucasian female]] engaging in [[RuleThirtyFour [DATA EXPUNGED[=]=]]].\\
''Note: [[BrainBleach I did]] ''[[BrainBleach not]]'' [[BrainBleach need to see that.]] - GJTW Bradley''\\

'''Input:''' One note reading "How exactly do you function, 914?", 1 pencil\\

'''Output:''' A diagram of an apple going into a booth and an orange coming out.\\

Note: I didn't expect anything different from the Rough setting. - GJTW Bradley''\\

'''Input:''' Framed drawing of ''Olive the Peridot Cat''\\

'''Output:''' Framed picture of ''Perry the Olivine Cat''\\

Note: I'd suggest "Dare To Be Stupid", but Veritas seems to have the exact opposite attitude. - GJTW B██████''

'''Total items:''' 1 L of bleach, 2 bottles of generic aspirin each containing 50 100-mg tablets.\\

* Researcher Darby is back, and his shenanigans pick up not too far from where they left off.
-->'''Test 914-1060'''\\
'''Name:''' Researcher Darby\\
'''Date:''' 01/10/2019\\
'''Total Items:''' One airplane ticket, one brand-new suitcase, one arctic parka embroidered with the SCP Foundation logo, three changes of casual winter clothing, one paperback novel “Communications Failure”, five bags of assorted snacks, one pack of gum\\
''Note: I just got back from [REDACTED] in the Bering Sea, and for some reason they've reassigned me here. Why, you may ask? I have no clue, but reports of a cognitohazardous poster some Russian put in the cafeteria might have something to do with it. - Researcher Darby\\
Note: "Reassigned"? I don't remember anyone by your name conducting 914 tests. I'll check through the logs. - Researcher Rasclon\\
Note: I do. I just don't remember him doing many tests. - R.A. Walker''\\

'''Input:''' Above airplane ticket\\
'''Setting:''' Coarse\\
'''Output:''' One crumpled paper airplane, examination shows that a standard airplane ticket is unsuitable for use as a paper airplane.\\
\\
'''Input:''' Above suitcase\\

'''Output:''' One suitcase that appears to have been dragged through a warzone, being covered in mud and what appear to be bullet holes. No longer usable.\\
''Note: That is not actually mud. SCP-914 took material from inside the suitcase and made it look like mud. It is, in fact, a mixture of rubber and plastic that somehow acts like a liquid. Why? Don’t ask me. [[NotThatKindOfDoctor I’m not a materials engineer, I’m a mechanical engineer.]] - Researcher Darby''\\

'''Input:''' Above articles of clothing\\

'''Output:''' One light rain-jacket with the Foundation logo emblazoned, three large cloth bags, one pile of tags and cotton.\\
''Note: That jacket looks nice, but it's a size too small for me. Maybe a smaller researcher wants it? I'll ask Wren, it looks like it would fit her. - Researcher Darby''\\

'''Input:''' Above food and gum\\

'''Output:''' One plate of beautifully displayed fale food, most of the dish originates from Russia.\\
''Note: I love Russian food, but that stuff is completely unfit for human consumption. I think 914 was trying to poison me, or at least put me on the toilet. The food I put in stayed as food and would have, in fact, tasted like good Russian food, but intermingled with it was the gum that 914 had somehow poisoned and made incompatible with human biology. Lunar's mug cat liked it, so I gave the food to it when we were done with testing. - Researcher Darby''\\

'''Input:''' Above novel\\

'''Input:''' 1 console with "VideoGame/SonicForces" inserted.\\
'''Setting:''' Fine\\
'''Output:''' 1 blue console, marked as a "Sega Switch." Joy-Con controllers are red with a white stripe across the center, similar to the shoes of company mascot Sonic the Hedgehog. Data on the game cartridge was completely erased.\\
''Note: Well, [[TakeThat can't really say it's not an improvement]]… -Prof. Wren''\\
\\

'''Output:''' Extremely faded Product Recall notice for "Dar-Be-Gon", on back of the notice was a drawing of 914's dial switched to very fine\\

'''Output:''' "Dar-Be-Ceen", when Researcher Festiv picked up the bottle, it was yanked out of his hands by an unseen force and proceeded to release its content in the air, creating a cloud of cleaning solution. When cloud cleared, it revealed Researcher Darby standing there holding the bottle and covered in chemical burns from the extreme acidity of the reaction between "Dar-Be-Ceen" and "Dar-Be-Gon". Researcher Darby was sent to the ICU for chemical burns and the "Dar-Be-Ceen" has been destroyed.\\

''Note: Good lord. Compulsory karaoke…I honestly don't know whether to be pleased or mortified. -Prof. Wren''

'''D-99823:''' Oh. (To security guards) It’s a talking rock. I think it’s safe.\\

''Note: I am never going to do tests with anything fur related again and am giving the remaining 11 Bears to other personnel starting with Prof. Wren. - Researcher Darby\\

'''Total Items:''' Five 32 GB USB drives, each containing a single empty text document titled "SCP-914's Hopes and Dreams"\\

* Apparently, the staff has ''not'' learned from Wren and Wacowzki's experiment.

Note: You ran out?! How did you manage that? That had two hundred 1 hour doses! It’s been two days! - Beiderman''

'''Name:''' Dr Clocks\\

''Note: It is funny to see what 914 did here. Then again, most of these monsters that we keep locked up could definitely work in some [[CosmicHorrorStory Cosmic Horror stories]]. -Dr Clocks''\\

''Note: [[GenreSavvy Look, we all how this would have ended.]] We've all read Lovecraft and we know [[GoMadFromTheRevelation exactly what will happen]] when we read it. -Dr Clocks\\

Note: Denied. [[DontTouchItYouIdiot Opening something with even slight resemblance to the mythical object sounds like a poor idea.]] - Veritas''

The file describes a tall, Caucasian female with orange hair and red eyes. She has no booths, instead her mouth [DATA EXPUNGED]. She is described as being snarky, and playing pranks on the researchers that operate her. She is described to have a crush on Maintenance Technician Johnson, and enjoys torturing Researcher Darby, perhaps out of spite. The testing logs seem to have remained the same, save for additional dialogue and [DATA EXPUNGED]\\
Furthermore, [[RuleThirtyFour the character [DATA EXPUNGED[=]=]]]\\

'''Setting:''' Coarse

'''Input:''' One disk on key, containing “Avengers: Endgame”.
'''Setting:''' 1:1

[[/folder]]

'''Input:''' 1 console with "VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfThWild" inserted.\\

'''Input:''' 1 console with "VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfTheWild" inserted.\\

[[/folder]]
----

'''Input:''' 1 console with "VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfThWild" inserted.\\

[[/folder]]