History Funny / RetroChill

* A RunningGag throughout the fic is Socrates' vlog. He constantly films and posts ''everything'' the heroes experience, no matter if it's incredibly terrifying or completely mundane. As you can expect, it's pretty funny and provides some levity to a [[CerebusSyndrome rather dark story]].
** It's first seen in Chapter 2. The characters are walking down the sidewalk talking when, completely unprompted:
--> '''Socrates:''' ''[to his phone, grinning]'' Hey everybody! Socrates back here and welcome back to the Tiger Diaries!
--> '''Hobbes:''' Socrates, what are you doing?
--> '''Socrates:''' [[NotListeningToMeAreYou You bet we will, Hobbes]]! In the past we've saved the planet, traveled to other universes, met extraordinary people and aliens, and overall had ourselves a good time making sure we didn't become slaves to a rather [[LampshadeHanging stereotypically evil]] [[AliensAreBastards alien race]] bent on enslaving mankind. Over here, we have our resident hamster, Sherman. Sherman, do you have anything to say about the things we've accomplished over the past few years?
--> '''Sherman:''' Please don't film me.
--> '''Socrates:''' Amazing! So I'll be checking back in with you all, and we'll see what little adventures we manage to find ourselves into! Also I'd like to give a shout-out to all my amazing people on ! Without you, none of this would be possible! Links in the description and be sure to leave a like and subscribe for the [[ParodyProductPlacement free iPhone giveaway at the end of the video]]! Talk soon!
--> ''['''Long''' beat]''
--> '''Calvin:''' ''[slowly]'' Don't ever do that, again...
--> '''Socrates:''' I'm glad you asked, Cally! I've decided that before we actually start our adventure I'm going to make sure to vlog it for my loyal viewers!
--> '''Andy:''' What loyal viewers?
--> '''Socrates:''' On Youtube, mostly. I just hit the one million subscriber milestone, so I need to make a particularly good video to celebrate it. I figured now would be a good time to start it.
--> '''Andy:''' You have a Youtube channel? What the heck do you do on it?
--> '''Socrates:''' Movie reviews, political commentary, response videos, you know, the norm.
--> '''Andy:''' Why have we never known about this?
--> '''Socrates:''' ''[hurt look]'' Wait... you guys aren't subscribed to me?
--> '''Calvin:''' Socrates, none of us use social media except you.
--> '''Andy:''' I mean, I have a Facebook...
--> '''Socrates:''' Calvin, [[FauxHorrific you don't even have a Facebook]]?
--> '''Calvin:''' Socrates, our computer is from 1992, I'm pretty sure it doesn't even load Facebook.
--> [...]
--> '''Hobbes:''' So what, you're just going to randomly film us doing stuff until something happ-
--> '''Socrates:''' Yup!
** And he does. Throughout the story, the other characters absolutely ''loathe'' it, treating all other options as preferable to being involved with the vlog. Ex:
--> Normally Hobbes and Sherman were ''not'' friends, but the genius hamster had to admit that they'd warmed up to each other in recent years, and he was concerned by the apprehension in the feline's face.\\
Besides, it was better than helping Socrates with his vlog.\\

-->'''Andy:''' Need a hand?\\
'''Hobbes:''' Oh, I've got it. You go back to... whatever it was you were doing.\\
'''Andy:''' I just gave three character testimonials for Socrates' vlog.\\
'''Hobbes:''' Okay, yeah, I'll scoot over.\\

** Socrates also has no idea of appropriate timing, leading to things like...
-->'''Sherman:''' It takes [[DoAnythingRobot you]] less than thirty seconds to scan the entirety of time and space, looking for someone, but it takes you nearly a half hour to scan one small child's brain?!
-->'''MTM:''' Yes.
-->'''Sherman:''' Why?!
-->'''MTM:''' Would you like me to go into the technical reasons behind it, or do you want me to finish the scan?
-->'''Socrates:''' Ooh! I'm interested to hear the technical bits! Let me get the camera ready!
-->'''Andy:''' No, Socrates...
--> And, after Evil Calvin has just critically damaged MTM and revealed he has several of Calvin's inventions, forcing the group to flee...
-->'''Sherman:''' Socrates, get that darn camera out of my face!
-->'''Socrates:''' But this is the exciting bit! My viewers will eat this up!
--> And as they're all heading off to save Calvin from Rupert and Retro...
-->'''Socrates:''' That's what I like to hear! Left leaderless and directionless, the remaining members of the band join together to reclaim their commander and defeat the ultimate evils!
-->'''Andy:''' Socrates, ''please'' put the camera away.
-->'''Socrates:''' But this is the exciting bit! The action is finally starting! The music ramps up, the engines roar, and we ride off into the sunset!
-->'''Sherman:''' There's no music, the box's engines are silent, and it's the middle of the afternoon.

* Not-Calvin and Jark are preparing to summon a horde of monsters out of Jark's orb. Not-Calvin is aiming at a highway, when Jark tells him it's the other way around. Despite the fact that it's ''a sphere''.