History Funny / Oz

-->'''Dr Faraj:''' "It's amazing. I mean we don't even know where this gum tissue came from. It could be a kike, a spic, maybe even a faggot."

-->'''Dr Faraj:''' "I mean you could be getting the ''beautiful'' gums of a ''big'', ''black'' NIGGER."

** A blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment in the same episode; during one of the Em City meetings, Adebisi walks in and puts one of his trademark hats on O'Reilly's head.

** When Robson reports back to Shillinger, and he just laughs.
-->'''Shillinger:''' I told'em to lay off that red meat.

--> '''Hill:''' The fuck did I get to be an "Other"? On the streets I was selling sips, I was as bad as any of those Homsboys! I FUCKING KILED A COP! What am I doing here with you guys?\\

* After [[FakeDefector Saïd]] joins Adebisi, Adebisi declares that NothingCanStopUsNow… by leading the Homeboys in a dance number. He also tilts Saïd's kufi the same way he has his signature wooly hat tilted.
--> '''Keller:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Adebisi and Saïd, together?]]\\
'''O'Reily:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMeIt's the end of the fucking universe.]]

'''Alvarez:''' Because if the motherfucker was any good, Penders wouldn't be in Solitary, stupid.

'''Rebadow:''' You're disables.\\

'''Hill:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, yeah, well then that's okay.]] We foots share a ''pod'', [=McManus=]! I gotta sleep with one eye open!\\

Even a gritty prison drama like ''Oz'' can have its fair share of hilarious moments.
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--> '''Hill:''' I tell you, I don't ''belong'' with those three clowns, man. They're crazy! Especially [[AxCrazy Beecher]]! Forget all that shit he did to Schillinger, he bit off some fucker's dick, yo!
'''[=McManus=]:''' [[DamnedByFaintPraise That was ten months ago.]]
'''Hill:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, yeah, well then that's okay.]] We foots share a ''pod'', [=McManus=]! I gotta sleep with one eye open!
'''[=McManus=]:''' Sister Peter-Marie says he's responding to therapy.

* Hill complaining about being listed as an 'Other', the fact his fellow 'Others' are all crazy, and having [[AxCrazy Beecher]] as his roommate.

'''Omar:''' Yo, I ain't got a lawyer!

'''Beecher:''' ''[[{{Troll}} laughs]])''

* [[TheOnlyOneAllowedToDefeatYou Keller and Robson arguing over who gets to murder Zabits]] when they both barge in on the other's murder attempt. As they argue, Zabits gets more and more panicked until he dies of a heart attack, much to their disbelief.
--> ''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Keller:''' Later.\\
'''Robson:''' Later.

'''Beecher:''' ''(singing)'' [[TunelessSongOfMadness Ginger, ginger]]\\
[[TunelessSongOfMadness Broke the winder, crack!\\
[[TunelessSongOfMadness The baker came out to give him a clout]]\\
[[TunelessSongOfMadness And landed on his back!]]

'''Beecher:''' I didn't.\|

'''Hill:''' You farted!
'''Beecher:''' I didn't.
'''Hill:''' P fucking U!
'''Beecher:''' I didn't fart!

* Hill complaining about being listed as an 'Other' and having [[AxCrazy Beecher]] as his roommate.

* Omar White, in a similar fashion. Mostly, he's either annoying, funny or both.

** Even funnier afterwards, in the cafeteria:

-->'''O'Reiley:''' "Everyone listen up! Robson went to the dentist and got himself a nice pair of dirty ghetto gums!"
-->''The hall erupts in laughter, even Said has a "it serves you right" smirk on his face''

-->'''Clayton Hughes:''' "Robson you are one ugly motherfucker."

-->'''Hughes:''' "Hey fuck you Alvarez!"

* Clayton Hughes' pathetic attempted takeover of ad-seg, including other inmates heckling him and fellow inmate Greg Penders ''actually trying to help him'' before realizing people are entering the hall and promptly scurrying back into his cell.

-->'''Claire''': "What the fuck you doin with a cigarette Pancamo?"

* Robson and Keller both going to kill Zabitz. He backs into a corner, faced with certain death...and keels over of a heart attack. The look the two would be killers give each other before bolting is priceless.

* Johnny Basil shutting down the insufferable Clayton Hughes, who is mad that Johnny is more friendly with white inmate Alvin Yood than with him:

--> '''Basil:''' What you are is a ''fuck''wad.
* The "Men of Death Row" photo-shoot in the last season, especially with how it ends with Jaz Hoyt killing Timmy Kirk with a spotlight.

'''Wangler/''' Fuck you!

--> Claire: "What the fuck you doin with a cigarette Pancamo?"
--> Pancamo: "Smokin' it."
--> Claire: "Put it out! ''Now.'' Or I'm coming in there!"
--> Pancamo: "Now her, I'm afraid of."
* "Seasons greetings fuck wad!"

* Alvarez agrees to be the stage manager for Macbeth so he can boss everyone around; the next few episodes have him shouting at people and making some truly [[http://https://31.media.tumblr.com/07eb56179a5150755701d9677ed86a4a/tumblr_inline_n7t2hxJ3PY1qc9rv9.gif fantastic faces]] in response to the inmates' acting.

* Black comedy to be sure, but the way Said's defense of murderer Jason Cramer slowly morphs from a mostly theoretical fight against the justice system into a massive SpringtimeForHitler on Said's part. The expression on Said's face when he realizes this is epic.

** What about later on in that withdrawal. Alvah Case comes to interview him about [[spoiler:the riot]] and he's standing there fondling himself. They open the window and he looks up and simply says 'You want...to lick...my balls?' with a hopeful look. They turn around and shut the door without a word.

* Black comedy to be sure, but the way Said's defense of [[spoiler:murderer Jason Cramer]] slowly morphs from a mostly theoretical fight against the justice system into a massive SpringtimeForHitler on Said's part. The expression on Said's face when he realizes this is epic.

--> '''[=McManus=]''' She's getting married... to a bobby?
--> '''Sister Pete''' No, no, not a bobby, Tim. He's a guard. He guards the Queen.
--> '''[=McManus=]''' Yeah, well then I can see how they've got [[SuddenlyShouting A LOT IN FUCKING COMMON]]!

--> '''Augustus''' Wh-What the... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!