History Funny / JonTronSeasonTwo

* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boFLIIZK28Q WOLF DISS]]''

[[folder:Plug and Play Consoles]]
* "Oh, you got me ''Monopoly'' this year for the Nintendo 64? Well, this would've been great back in '''''18'''''64! You know, when it was impressive just to not die from being 35!"

-->'''Jon:''' Well if ''that's'' the case, then you're probably gonna be pretty much limiting yourself to port towns honestly, and ''even then'' they're out to sea most of the time. Why aren't you on a boat? A boat would really be a better fit for you, also '''what the fuck, ''who says that?'''''\\\

'''Jon :''' Okay, first, I was kinda advocatin' for you 'cause he was bein' a dick for no reason, thought you were the victim, but now I can basically see that you're ''both'' [[DesignatedHero pretentious fucks]].

-->'''Game:''' [=AF3H17=] MBAD! SLEEP TOO LATE.\\

--->'''Jon:''' So you can pay allimony or puh-(amused wheeze) punch [{{Beat}}] (genuinely astonished) ''punch''.

--> '''Jon:''' "Vertical Hunger." Yes, absolutely. Because Horizontal Hunger IS FOR GROMMETS!

-->''I would play any game on Earth\\

* His great Music/MeatLoaf impersonation when he first loads ''Titenic'' up.
** Before that, there's the way he says the name of the game. He tries saying it about three times, each more baffled-sounding than the last, until he finally says the entire name. sounding more baffled than before. And the way he keeps moving the title picture as he does so, especially zooming in on the title itself before bursting into the Meat Loaf impression.

-->'''Jon:''' Okay, you've got pies, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin where you throw pies at people]], Ice... Yeah, that's definitely ice there... Potato? Okay — Er... "[[JapaneseRanguage Jerry]]"? '''"JERRY"?!'''\\

-->'''Jon:''' How many eyeballs that guy got in his eyes? I'm no eyeball scientist, but ''I don't think you get to have that many eyeballs...''

--> [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere "I AIN'T GONNA BE THE FIRST TO DIE, I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH RIGHT NOW!!"]]

** Jon is horrified to find an article reading "SCISSOR ENTHUSIAST ESCAPES FROM ASYLUM - HEADING TO [=JONTRON=]'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW!"... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Because the article was cut out with scissors]].
** There's also the picture caption: [=JONTRON=]'s HOUSE AND SOON TO BE MURDER SITE

--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual VCR Taker Guy]]'''[[note]]Dominic Moschitti[[/note]]: Hey you said you had a bunch of free [=VCR=]s out here for us. And I though you may have been confused and meant to say [=DVD=] players, or maybe you didn't understand what you had. And I was coming to take that from you. So, pretty much, ''where's my shit?''

--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual Real Ghost Guy]]'''[[note]]Nick Murphy[[/note]]: Hey, you guys want to see a picture of a real ghost? (holds up a box of Boo Berry cereal) ([=VCR=] Taker Guy flinches)

-->'''Jon:''' OH JESUS GAH HO!... whawazat? Oh, is this ''manganese!?'' I think I just got flashbanged! I can only see white... is that God?

--> "Ew, what a weird ''old guy.'' He ''died.''"

-->'''Jon:''' (in an announcer's tone) Ladies and gentlemen, may I present... a-are you sitting? [=GameFillip=].

-->'''Jon''': [[VerbThis Krack]] '''[[VerbThis THIS!]]''' [''stomps on the controller a few times, then hits it with a hammer several times, with the last hit being aided by a ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBros'' home run bat style [[SugarWiki/MostWonderfulSound KREEEEEENG]] sound'']

-->'''Jon:''' H-hitting Mices? [[{{Pluralses}} MICES.]] What, mice wasn't good enough for you, you wanna hit more? You wanna pluralize the plural so you can hit more? [[YouMonster You're a monster]].

--> '''Jon:''' It's gonna be a while before fair use kicks in on this one. No money!

-->'''Jon''': (after selecting a piece of cheese with a hook and moving it across the water) I ''see''. Yes, I uh, I certainly do understand what is going on here. *finally begins to control game* Oh, oh, oh-okay, yeah. Cute...Fish...''I get it''. *guttural intake of breath* '''''I don't get it.'''''

-->'''Jon:''' ''[bad German accent]'' Ve go owt in ze snow vit ze frying pan and try to catch Sinterklaas's eeevil gifts from the sky! Eet iz a greet time furr oooll kinder in Deutschland!

-->'''Jon''': It's Snake.. it's fucking.. it's [[SuddenlyShouting FUCKING SHITTY ASS SNAKE!!!]] (door slam) OK, I am not leaving until somebody tells me where "edacity" fits in to all this. Better move on to the next game [[TemptingFate before I get a goddamn coronary]].

-->'''Jon''': It's... it's awful. ''[[SuddenlyShouting It's all fucking awful!]] All of it! All of 'em!'' '''EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM ''SUCKS!'''''

--> '''Jon:''' I’m gettin’ a little worn out at this point. I think I gotta take a rest. How about we book a room at the [[ItMakesSenseInContext Oto-ototel]] and have a nice '''[=NaNaNaNaNAP=]!'''

-->'''Song''': ''♫~Because they're coming straight for you.~♫''\\

--> '''Announcer:''' ''(Low-pitched and slurred)'' Give thanks to God in Heaven.
--> '''Jon:''' Wanna run that by me one more time, maybe this time with one less Vicodin jammed down your throat?

--> '''Jon:''' ''(Upon noticing a particular flag in the background)'' [[UsefulNotes/{{Judaism}} Shalom?]] Am I missing something? Isn't that one different? Isn't that like going to [[Creator/WaltDisney Disneyland]] [[FandomRivalry and asking for]] [[Creator/WarnerBros a Bugs Bunny hat?]]

-->'''Woman’s Disembodied Voice:''' Praise the Lord!\\
'''Jon:''' ''(In the same breathy saccharine tone)'' Praise the Lord! And by "praise the lord" I mean look at this bridge filled with dinosaurs, pterodactyls, and a teetering station car. If ''that'' doesn’t get the point of the Lord across, I just ''don’t know what will!''\\

--> '''Narrator''': After the assassination of Prince Franz Ferdinand...\\

--> '''Jon''': First step: Don't g- don't go to war. [[{{Foreshadowing}} Not a good idea]].

--> '''Jon''': I don't even have to listen to you, do I? You're just gonna keep doing that, alright, I'm going the other way ''[turns around, walks away from building]'' Fuck this, I'm not doing the war, fuck you! Yeah, step four, didn't change, don't go to war! I'm serious! Get outta here, this is not- this is- ''[reaches invisible wall]'' oh ''nooo''...! ''[{{beat}}]'' Step 5: You gotta go to war.

-->'''Jacques:''' You monster. Let me see those melons!

'''Larry's father:''' Well, could you just... hand me out my razor?\\

* The pumpkin with a goofy-looking face drawn on it.
* Jon's candy corn masterpiece: [[ShapedLikeItself A pile of candy corn.]]

* Jon trying to share the Halloween spirit with everyone. Thing is, [[BrooklynRage he forgot he lives in New York]].

'''Cabbie:''' ''Get outta the way, asshole!''\\

* Jon counting in Jacques:

* Jon's introduction of the Goosebumps book series, listing off some of the more notable stories, such as...
-->'''Jon:''' ''Literature/TheHauntedSchool''... ''Literature/TheHeadlessGhost''! ''[[Literature/YouCantScareMe Y'CAN'T SKYEH ME]]''! ''[[Literature/TheCuckooClockOfDoom DEGHEUGHEUCLAKEVDOOM]]''! ''Literature/WhyImAfraidOfBees'' — well, that's obvious, innit? ''[[Literature/PianoLessonsCanBeMurder PIANA LESSONS CAN BE MOIDAH]]''. ''[[Literature/TheBeastFromTheEast The Beast... from the East...]]''? Like, are we talkin', like, Asia, or Philadelphia?
* Jon tells Jacque how excited he is about seeing the show again, [[TemptingFate hoping it will be as good as he remembers]]:

* After Matt's mom says he won't be 12 forever:
-->'''Jon:''' ''Or will he?'' (dances to Spooky Scary Skeletons)
** Earlier, after Matt's mom shuts down his request to sleep in the attic: "'''You dirty bitch!'''"
* "I don't even ''caaaaare'' if I stop takin' my meds; [[NoMedicationForMe I'm not takin' em!]]"
* Jon noticing [[ItMakesSenseInContext the dick-flashlight]].

* "Endorse? Endorse what?"
-->'''Jon:''' I thought sports were played [[{{Pun}} outdorse]].
* Jon comparing Matt's tackled scream to his Amiga computer starting up, and then ''showing the demonstration.''
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG-IlLy22CQ His attempts to decipher the hockey coach's rambling.]] YMMV, but this just might be the best caption job Jon has ever done.

--->'''Jon:''' I feel like they gave this guy specific lines, but he just said "Fuck it." and [[ThrowItIn did whatever he wanted]] and they were like "(mumbling) Lunch break, (mumbling) I don't care, just leave it."
*** It's even funnier if you know the hockey coach is played by [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Cherry Don Cherry]], a real life hockey commentator in Canada known for being controversial and being difficult to censor. So Jon's theory probably isn't that far off.
* Jon's growing confusion over the different alternate realities Matt jumps into.
* The moment when Matt's in a reality where he's a renowned doctor that is instructed to do a surgery on a delicate part of someone's brain.

** Jon's even seen wiping his brow with a towel as Matt's instructor states what could go wrong if the surgery ends up botched (and it's very easy to do so).

--->'''Jon:''' [[FailedASpotCheck Clearly nothing weird about that.]]
** The nurse proceeds to give Matt an active surgical saw before putting her arm near the blade to wipe his face with a cloth. Jon shows the scene twice, the second time adding a blood splatter.
--->'''Jon:''' [[SarcasmMode As you can see, the safety procedures at this hospital are pretty much top notch]].

-->'''Judge:''' ''[face in extreme close up]'' Will the defendant please rise?\\
'''Jon:''' ''[[[HypocriticalHumor face also in extreme close up]]]'' If the judge backs up a bit.

* Matt being punished for hating reality, and [[FelonyMisdemeanor Jon's interpretation.]]

* His idea of what the moral of the episode is:

* Once again, Jon is able to watch the Goosebumps episodes by shoving them into various video game consoles; he watches ''Literature/MyHairiestAdventure'' by inserting it into his Super Nintendo, and ''Literature/GhostBeach'' by shoving it into his Dreamcast. While doing that last one, though, [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment a random growling hand appears out of nowhere, slowly attempting to grab him]].
* Jon doesn't like Larry.

* The "[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer undoctored footage]]" of the enthusiastic keyboard kid.

-->'''Jon, as Larry:''' (creepy voice) MM. YEAH. 'S MINE.

** Leading to an edit of Larry Boyd looking at his... er... "new hair."

-->'''Larry's father:''' ''(knocks on door)'' Are you almost done in there?\\

'''Jon:''' ''(laughs)'' ''He's fucking humming!'' That's like the ''joke'' voice people do when they're trying to '''''pretend''''' to act natural.\\

'''Realtor:''' [''pops out of the closet''] Can I help you?\\
'''Jon:''' [''Jon jumps''] Ohp! It's relevant!
* Larry's doctor acting unsure about his condition.

* The protagonists of ''Ghost Beach'', Jerry and Terri, are... [[UnintentionallyUnsympathetic unsympathetic]].

'''Jon ''[voiceover]'':''' Yea, fuck you for being ''interested'' in things, you stupid bitch!\\

'''Terri:''' ''[smugly]'' I do, because I'm ''interested in things''.\\
'''Jon ''[voiceover]'':''' Okay, first, I was kinda advocatin' for you 'cause he was bein' a dick for no reason, thought you were the victim, but now I can basically see that you're ''both'' [[DesignatedHero pretentious fucks]].
* Jon's reaction to one of the kids from Ghost Beach in a monster costume.

-->'''Jon:''' I'm going to enjoy this Halloween even if it ''kills'' me.\\
'''Pumpkin:''' ''(VoiceOfTheLegion)'' '''''And it WILL kill you, Mr. Tron!'''''\\

'''Pumpkin:''' ''(slightly embarrassed)'' [[ApologeticAttacker I'm sorry, man,]] [[AffablyEvil I didn't really]] [[SincerityMode realize you were going through a thing like that.]]
-->'''Jon:''' ''(calmer)'' That's okay, just... think about how I feel next time, maybe.
* Jon's GilliganCut reaction to the creepy skeleton faces on ''Ghost Beach'':

-->'''Jon:''' You can't drink that. Issch gonna be like the scene in Film/AIArtificialIntelligence where Haley Joel Osment eats th'spinach. Because his older brother is taunting him. ''[muffled]'' And also because you're a bird so you'll die of alcohol poisoning.

--> '''Jon''': So to make an example of my point, I'mma play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64. 'S called Hercules. [[SarcasmMode What a name.]] Guess they didn't have to try back then, it was the '80s, all they had to worry about was [[UsefulNotes/ColdWar RONALD REAGAN TALKIN' 'BOUT GORBACHEV!]]"

-->'''Jon''': ''([[SarcasmFailure stares blankly]])''\\
'''Jacques''': ''([[FunnyBackgroundEvent chooses that moment to nibble on Jon's ear]])''\\
'''Jon''': '''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!]]'''

-->'''Jon''': Ah! Not yet, I'm too young!

--> '''Jon:''' Ugh... my stomach...\\

--> '''Jon:''' One's a...city in Georgia, ''THE OTHER'S A REGULAR NAME!''

-->'''Jon''': And it's all thanks to- [[ManipulativeEditing The Military Industrial]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Compelx]].

--> ''I don't really wanna become immortal that much anyways, it's too much hard work. You gotta keep watching people going in and out of the White House for the rest of time. No thanks, Samuel!''

-->''(Jon turns on the TV, the scene of Spidey falling off the stairs from ''Literature/SayCheeseAndDie'' is shown)''
--> '''Jon:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Okay, it's horrible!]]

* [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GG-IlLy22CQ His attempts to decipher the hockey coach's rambling.]] YMMV, but this just might be the best caption job Jon has ever done.

-->'''Jon''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TMj8JZVD6k Thas some heavy shit, doc.]]

--->'''Jon''': [[FailedASpotCheck Clearly nothing weird about that.]]

-->'''Jon as Larry:''' (creepy voice) MM. YEAH. 'S MINE.

-->'''Larry:''' Did you notice anything last night, where you rubbed that instant tan on, I mean, like, uh, involving hair?
-->'''Jon:''' ''(visibly startled, raises a finger)'' I don't ''like'' where this is ''going.''
-->'''Larry:''' I mean, hair, you know, like, where you don't expect to see it?
-->'''Jon:''' Stop!
-->'''Lily:''' Are you growing some unexpected hair?
-->'''Larry:''' No. Are you?
-->'''Lily:''' No, are ''you?''
-->'''Jon:''' ''Stop!''
-->'''Larry:''' No, I just thought, maybe you--
-->'''Lily:''' I what?
-->'''Larry:''' Growing hair in weird places.
-->'''Jon:''' FBI should be knocking on his door any minute now.

--->'''Larry:''' I had to check and see if there was hair growing anywhere else.
--->'''Jon:''' No no no, no no, no, nonono!
--->'''Larry:''' None on my chest...
--->'''Jon:''' Please, Larry, you don't understand.
--->'''Larry:''' None on my back...
--->'''Jon:''' You don't know what you're doing here.
--->'''Larry:''' And now, my--
--->'''Jon:''' '''''[[SensoryAbuse STOP!!!]]'''''
--->''(Larry looks down at what is presumably his groin, which is censored and presumably covered in hair.)''
--->'''Larry:''' ''[screaming]'' ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--''
--->'''Jon:''' ''([[RunningGag singing, holding operatically on a high C note]])'' ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--''
--->''([[WeAreExperiencingTechnicalDifficulties An FBI warning screen spoof pops up with a sustained off-air bleep]])''
--->[[AC:''['''YOU SICK FUCK:''' This program has been suspended indefinitely.]'']]

-->'''Larry's father:''' ''(knocks on door)'' Are you almost done in there?
-->'''Larry:''' Almost. ''(humming loudly while shaving off hair)''
-->'''Larry's father:''' Well, could you just... hand me out my razor?
-->'''Larry:''' ''(turns around, clearly stressed)'' ''Can't a guy get some privacy?!'' ''(goes back to shaving and hums even louder)''
-->'''Jon:''' ''(laughs)'' ''He's fucking humming!'' That's like the ''joke'' voice people do when they're trying to '''''pretend''''' to act natural.
-->''(Cut to a short skit)''
-->'''Cop:''' ''(knocking on Jon's bathroom door)'' NYPD, open up!\\

--> '''Jon''': Oh God, it's Creator/WhoopiGoldberg!

'''Louisa:''' [[http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111209213556/goosebumps/images/thumb/a/a8/Ghostbeach_7.jpg/500px-Ghostbeach_7.jpg Stay with us, cousins!]]
-->'''Jon:''' [[http://puu.sh/54lzc.png AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!]]

-->'''Jon:''' Ah, yeah. That's just- that's just about right! That's appropriate, a boy is captured and will likely be found dead in the coming weeks, and all you got is "Oh no." That's good, it's a good message.
-->''(A newspaper appears with horrifying music, headline reading "BOY FOUND IN SHALLOW GRAVE" while the picture is the "Oh no!")''

-->'''Jon''': Yeah! [[Music/TheWho Pete Townshend!]] ''Film/RiskyBusiness!'' End Of ''Film/{{Platoon}}!'' [{{Beat}}] ''Risky Business'' again!

-->'''Jon''': Only a witch can pull off a parabola of this nature.

-->'''Jon''': Ech! Aw! S'disgusting! What is that? That's rancid! Is that a... is that a tap dancing crab demon? (horrified whisper) Is that nightmare? Is that true nightmare?

--->'''Jon''': You can see Beedrill, Porygon, Monkey, [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Mario]] Dinosaur, [[ToiletHumor Poop]], Abomination... WHAT IS THIS? Is this what happens when illicit Pokémon breeding goes unchecked? I'm looking at this from every goddamn angle there is, I can't tell where it starts and where it ends. Well, it's got a pinecone for a body, it's, uh, wearing a ''fez'', and it's got that one staring, unblinking eye that reminds you that this creature lives a neverending, '''''ceaseless''' agony.''

--->'''Jacques''': Warning, Jon. You are in danger of reaching hack capacity.

--> "Do you realize that for this to happen, someone had to sit down, look at Pokémon and say, 'Y'know, this is great, but it needs more [[NoYay little girls]]. I'm gonna go downstairs in my basement now, next to [[TortureCellar my little girl dungeon]], and program this game.' Welcome to planet Earth, ladies and gentlemen."

-->'''Game:''' [=AF3H17=] MBAD! SLEEP TOO LATE.
-->'''Jon:''' [reads the response] Yeah, I think I'm gonna quit here. This game's starting to judge my lifestyle, and I just-- mmm, I don't-- I don't need that. I made it past age 18, I pay my bills, I pay my taxes, I'll sleep late if I fuckin' want to. Fuck you.

--> '''Jon''': Oh, and not to mention, every single high score on this game is [[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution DDR]], DDR, ''DDR, DDR, didn't bother to hide it!'' '''DDR! DIDN'T BOTHER TO HIDE IT! ''PAC-MAN! DDR! [[MadnessMantra LOSE! LOSE! LOSE!! LOSE!! LOSE!!! LOSE!!!]]'''''

-->'''Daredevil Dan''': Don't worry, it ain't like [[TemptingFate it's the last time we're ever gonna see Sunshine again.]]
-->'''Jon''': ...[[GenreSavvy That's the last time we're seeing Sunshine, isn't it?]]\\

'''Jon''': ''Ah GHKCHH--''

-->'''Paul:''' Oh, God! It's him, it's ''him!'' ... NO! That's what he does! He raises your level of cleanliness to ''impossible'' levels of upkeep! ... Banana split, let's blow this Popsicle stand! Kumquats, I don't know, whatever!
--> ''(sprints out of Jon's house, chased by Mr. Clean)''
-->'''Jon:''' (after both men leave) [[UnfazedEveryman Well, that just sorta happened to me,]] [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment I mean, I didn't even participate in that...]]
-->''({{beat}})''
-->'''Jacques:''' [[RuleOfCool It was cool, though.]]

--> ''[In the movie, Mr. Clipboard [[SillyWalk gangles into the supermarket]] while making strange gurgling noises.]''
--> '''Mr. Clipboard:''' You must be Leonard...
--> '''Jon:''' Y'know I'd make a comment here, but I'm genuinely worried that he might actually have a disability -- and then who looks like the bad guy, I mean, this guy, still a little bit, because he's the bad guy in the movie, but mostly me! Mostly Jon!

--> '''Jon:''' Oh! Oh God! ''OH GOD!'' Real world's horrible, go back to the supermarket world!
--> ''[Daredevil Dan immediately ends up face to face with an equally hideous Brand X mascot]''
--> '''Jon:''' I made a huge mistake, supermarket world's just as bad--

-->[=JonTron=]! What is best in life?
-->'''Jon:''' To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
-->Wow, I was gonna say a day at the beach, but what did you say? Something about maiming? Jesus Christ!

'''Jon''': Who wrote this game, [[UsefulNotes/FriedrichNietzsche Nietzsche]]?\\

'''Jon''': (upbeat) [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere And this game]] [[RhymesOnADime I shall not complete!]]

--> *sophisticated accent* "Oh, good morning, madam. You are looking full and robust today. You are blossoming like the most beautiful flower in all of Cimmeria. *normal voice* Oh yeah, one more thing -- [[SophisticatedAsHell your tits are fucking fantastic]]."

-->'''Jon:''' OH, IT'S TWO OUTTA THREE! WE'RE IN THE BLACK!

--->'''Jon''': But you better make sure that you hit A and then down a bit after that, because if you just hit down, you'll jump to a fiery death because '''DID I MENTION THAT DOWN ALSO FUCKING LONG JUMPS?!''' *furious* '''WHO DID IT? WHY'D THEY DO IT? ARE THEY- ARE THEY STILL ALIVE?''' Can I find 'em? We're gonna... we're gonna go [[ImpliedDeathThreat find 'em]].

-->'''Jon:''' ''[about a Franchise/SpiderMan console primarily consisting of a large joystick]'' A ''lot'' of these are [[FreudWasRight just a penis]]. This one-- thi-this one is Spider-Man's penis. ''[[[VisualInnuendo grips the joystick and presses a button on the tip]]]'' Bombs away.\\

*** "Why bother ''changing the name'' if you're just gonna use [[Creator/KateWinslet the]] [[Creator/LeonardoDiCaprio likenesses]] of the '''''two main characters ANYWAYS?!''''' Oh, let me tell ya, it's a good thing they didn't misspell Leonardo [=DiCaprio=]'s '''''FACE''''' or we would've '''''REALLY HAD A PROBLEM!'''''" Complemented by putting Creator/JackNicholson's face [[TheDanza over Jack's]].

But I won't play'' (points at TV screen) ''that!''

** Before that, we have a shameless parody of Music/MeatLoaf's "[[Music/BatOutOfHellIIBackIntoHell I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)]]":

** Before that, we have a shameless parody of Music/MeatLoaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)":

** "Why bother ''changing the name'' if you're just gonna use [[Creator/KateWinslet the]] [[Creator/LeonardoDiCaprio likenesses]] of the '''''two main characters ANYWAYS?!''''' Oh, let me tell ya, it's a good thing they didn't misspell Leonardo [=DiCaprio=]'s '''''FACE''''' or we would've '''''REALLY HAD A PROBLEM!'''''" Complemented by putting Creator/JackNicholson's face [[TheDanza over Jack's]].

** "Why bother ''changing the name'' if you're just gonna use [[Creator/KateWinslet the]] [[Creator/LeonardoDiCaprio likenesses]] of the '''''two main characters ANYWAYS?!''''' Oh, let me tell ya, it's a good thing they didn't misspell Leonardo DiCaprio's '''''FACE''''' or we would've '''''REALLY HAD A PROBLEM!'''''" Complemented by putting Creator/JackNicholson's face [[TheDanza over Jack's]].

** "Why bother ''changing the name'' if you're just gonna use the likenesses of the '''''two main characters ANYWAYS?!''''' Oh, let me tell ya, it's a good thing they didn't misspell {{Creator/Leonardo DiCaprio}}'s '''''FACE''''' or we would've '''''REALLY HAD A PROBLEM!'''''" Complemented by putting Creator/JackNicholson's face [[TheDanza over Jack's]].

--> '''Jon:''' ''Oh my God, what is that?!''
** "Oh, let me tell ya, it's a good thing they didn't misspell {{Creator/Leonardo DiCaprio}}'s '''face''' ''or we would've really had a problem!''" Complemented by putting Creator/JackNicholson's face [[TheDanza over Jack's]].

-->'''Jon''': I have a feeling the musical direction for this scene went a bit like this: "Oh okay, so the kid could possibly die in this scene, fall off the ledge, make a big splatter, so it's real morbid, it's real scary, y'know, just noodle around on the guitar a bit, ''(imitates guitar noises)'' Yeah don't worry about it, here's a loonie for your time, a toonie for your wife, [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes our]] ''[[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes money's cartoon]], [[SuddenlyShouting OUR MILK'S IN BAGS-]] '''[[RageQuit SCREW IT,]] [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'M OUTTA HERE!]]''' (door slams)''"

--> '''Jon:''' ''(Singing)'' I don't even know what the fuck is your problem, there's a cocaine police boat! ...FROM MIAMI. But that's OK, 'cause WHY NOT? [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs I did a bunch of coke before I made this game!]]

* ''[[Music/MichaelJackson I'm being strangled by the man in the mirror!]] AHHHHGH!!!''
** Later became HilariousInHindsight when the exact same situation happened during the [[Music/TheJimiHendrixExperience Purple Haze]] arc in ''[[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureGoldenWind JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind]]''.

** Later became HilariousInHindsight when the exact same situation happened during the [[Music/TheJimiHendrixExperience Purple Haze]] arc in ''[[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureGoldenWind JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind]].

* His reaction to the "[[AcceptableTargets Grilled]] [[BlindIdiotTranslation Mormons]]" shop:

-->'''Jon''': ''(holding up a super-deformed plastic version of ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemShadowDragonAndTheBladeOfLight Shadow Dragon]]''[='=]s Falchion)'' I'm a brave boy. ''(cut to a shot of the protagonist getting caught by a monster, followed by an image of the boy in his underwear, chained by his neck to a peg on the wall and ''giving the monster a'' '''bath''')'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Not a brave enough boy for THIS!]]" ''(tosses Falchion over his shoulder)''

'''Cabbie:''' ''Outta the way, asshole!''\\

* Being excited about seeing the show again, [[TemptingFate hoping it will be as good as he remembers]]:

* Jon Tron saying that [[LargeHam "ANYTHING CAN BE BOUGHT AND SOLD]] [[NonSequitur FOR THE RIGHT OIIIIIILLLLL".]]

-->'''Jon:''' OH JESUS OH... whozthat? Is this ''manganese!?'' I think I just got flashbanged! I can only see white... is that God?

* Jon's comments on the various designs and kinds of plug & play consoles:

''[about yet another Spider-Man console which looks like a regular controller, but has a Spider-Man figurine mounted on it in a rather interesting pose)'': This one is my personal favorite. Spider-Man po-points at your dick while you play. You can't make that up. That's really how they designed this. What the hell were they thinking?\\

* When looking at various bootlegs, he stumbles over one of the Justice League:

--> '''Jon''': Whoa hold on... 8-bit game? I thought you said dazzling 3d-graphics. Phillip, make up your goddamn mind!

* When Jon plays the [=GameFillip=], one of the games he plays is [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Small Mario]]. When he plays it, he gets sent to a ''completely'' different game than he expected to.
-->'''Jon''': Hey, they were right! That's the smallest [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Mario]] I've ever seen! He's so small you [[SuddenlyShouting CAN'T FUCKING SEE HIM!]]

* The Power Kracker console makes the ridiculous claim to have ''76000'' games on it. The thing is though, that as far as we can tell, ''it actually'' '''''does.'''''
-->'''Jon''': Oh my God... [[ArchivePanic there really are 76000 games on this thing]]... I guess I'll order some take-out.
* One of the games on it is called "Franchise/ToyStory". [[NeverTrustATitle It turns out to be a completely different game entitled]] ''VideoGame/CircusCharlie''.
-->'''Jon''': Circus Charlie, huh? I don't remember this from the movie.
** It reaches its peak moments later.
--->'''Jon:''' Mad? Who, me? [[BlatantLies No, I'm not mad.]] Who's mad? How could I be mad when I bought a video game console that has ''Circus Charlie'' under ''5000 '''[[PrecisionFStrike FUCKIN']] different names? [[SuddenlyShouting I'M FINE!!!]]'''''
** Him destroying the Power Kracker controller afterward is both this and a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.
-->'''Jon''': [[VerbThis Krack]] '''[[VerbThis THIS!]]''' [''stomps on the controller a few times, then hits it with a hammer several times, with the last hit being aided by a ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBros'' home run bat style [[SugarWiki/MostWonderfulSound KREEEEEENG]] sound'']
* When Jon opens a bootleg that says "''VideoGame/MarioBros''", the title screen instead reads '''''"Mr. Mary".'''''

* Jon gets annoyed when he founds out the Power Kracker has ''even more'' NES games, which leads to him going almost insane [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} (if he wasn't already)]] at the end of his "review" on the Power Kracker.

* His note of the monkey peering over the ''Hitting Mices'' logo on the first game of the Pro Player Games' title screen. [[{{Foreshadowing}} Which would hint at his reactions to the certain other games on the console's title screens later on]]:

* He then describes the animal cruelty in ''Hitting Mices'':

* ''Exist'' leaves Jon feeling rather philosophical.

* Not to mention ''Exist'''s copyright date: 200518784.
--> '''Jon:''' It's gonna be a while before fair use kicks in on this one.

* ''Cute Fish'' gives Jon quite an experience, starting with the rather ''angry'' fish on the title screen.

** Jon's complete ''confusion'' at how to play.

* While playing ''Xmas Gift'', the kid turns into a skeleton after being struck by a lightning bolt.

* Jon's take on [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pZyXmXNxm4 an ancient German Christmas tradition.]]

-->'''Jon''': That's just the snake from The Jungle Book! That's Kaa! They used the same exact snake except that this time he looks like he peed on the rug and got in trouble for it. Bad snake! Bad! You're copyrighted!

** Followed by him turning on the game ''Pop Monster'', with its rather creepy monster in the title screen.
-->'''Jon''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnSzrZcIxdU I'm going. I'm going.]]
* ''Trooper''. Jon notices that this game's title screen is abnormally glitchy.

* Jon playing ''Brave Boy''.
-->'''Jon''': *Holding up a super-deformed plastic version of ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemShadowDragonAndTheBladeOfLight Shadow Dragon]]''[='=]s Falchion* "I'm a brave boy."
-->*Cut to a shot of the protagonist ''chained to the wall''... by his ''neck''... ''giving the monster a'' '''bath'''... '''in his UNDERWEAR.'''*
-->'''Jon''': *Tosses Falchion over his shoulder* "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Not a brave enough boy for THIS!]]"

* Jon pointing out ''Stub Game'', or as he likes to call it: "[[SuddenlyShouting STACKING FUCKING CANS]]".

-->'''Jon''': (practically begging)Just gimme this one! Just this one!
* And the actual content of this particular game? Yet '''another''' shitty [[{{Klotski}} puzzle]] game. This one with REALLY creepy looking generals.

-->'''Jon''': Yes, it's a game called "Boxes World". What were you expecting, [[Literature/MaryPoppins Mary]] [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[Literature/MaryPoppins Poppins]]?

* After realizing that the only playable game thus far, ''[=XTreme Robot=]'', is a ripoff of ''Contra'':

* The ending: Jon himself becomes a bootleg master with the help of Bootleg Music/MichaelJackson.

** Followed by him declaring that he's gonna sit back and play a Nintendo game [[TemptingFate so he can have a well-deserved break]]. SmashCut to a scene of a horse climbing into a cannon and launching itself across the horizon.

'''Jon''': There's no rest for a [=JonTron=]... Is there?

* The ending: Jon calls the United States Government so they could cancel Christmas. They put him on hold to transfer him to the governments of other countries so he can cancel Christmas ''worldwide''.

-->'''Jon:'''Whoa, God! Well, kid-uh-hey don't worry about it, you know, no sweat, we've all gambled on a fart and lost.

-->'''Jon(as Josh):'''I'll set this table REAL good! Ain't NObody gonna fuck with a crazy guy!

'''Jon''': ''No!''\\

* Jon seeing the options that appear if the player chooses to divorce their wife (Which is mandatory for beating the game).
--->'''Jon:''' ''So you can pay allimony or puh-(amused wheeze) punch [{{Beat}}] (genuinely astonished) punch.''