History Funny / Hawkeye

* In the non-canon ''[[ComicBook/{{Gwenpool}} Gwenpool Holiday Special]]'', Hawkeye tells [[ComicBook/RedSkull Red Skull]] to think of a happy memory and then go @#$% himself. Clint gets eaten by a shark launched by the Skull but it was WorthIt.

* ''Funny/Hawkeye2021''

* From his current ongoing series:
** Several scattered Daily Bugle papers are titled with the headlines "EVERYTHING AWFUL: Oh God Somebody Do Something!!"
*** Chris Eliopoulos, the letterer of Vol. 4, keeps putting these in, along with all the UnsoundEffect's and other PaintingTheMedium gags. It's what elevates the title as a whole.
** Kate and Clint get into an argument over the labeling and organization of his arrows, or lack there of. She harps on him about this, even during a car chase with gangsters firing at them, causing him to yell at her to pick one at random.
** After saving a girl from gangsters and subsequently sleeping with her, the gangsters track them down and starts firing at a still naked Hawkeye. He dodges the gunfire and dives across the room. His CensorBox is a picture of his old mask.
** After getting knocked out by the above mentioned gangsters, Hawkeye calls Kate to pick him up. By the time she gets to his location, he's still putting his pants and shirt on. Kate [[EatingTheEyeCandy stares at him]] for several panels, causing him to facepalm.
** A gangster holds Clint hostage with Kate aiming her bow at the gangster.
--->'''Gangster:''' You geev me ginger (derogatory patriarchial epithet), I geev you Avenger (slang for male genitalia).\\
'''Kate''': '''Wow,''' the mouth on you.
** The ''Dog Cops'' subplot/RunningGag in issue 6. Hawkeye watching a show like that? Okay. Spider-Man? Definitely. ''{{Wolverine}}''? Freaking hysterical.
*** Especially since ''Dog Cops'' appears to be, literally, a show about dogs who are cops, rather than, say, a K-9 unit; Tony refers to a character named "Sergeant Whiskers" when talking to Clint about it.
** Kate talking about how the Roman emperor Domitian could fire 4 arrows at once between his fingers (while Clint is shown shooting only 3 off), then later on Kate fires off 5 arrows at once.
--->'''Kate''': Suck it, Domitian.
** Bit from #6:
--->''(A load of Slavic tracksuit bros come out from two vans, proceeding to overwhelm him with baseball bats)''\\
'''Clint''': ''(agonizing)'' ''Yyyyyeah. Guh. Guh. Guys.'' Guys, better go gessomemore guys.\\
''(They get back to beating him into unconsciousness. When Clint wakes up, he's loaded into one of the vans with a bag over his head, later being unmasked while tied to a chair in a large room filled with bros)''\\
'''Clint''': Great! You got more guys.
** Clint insisting to his neighbors that he's not an Avenger...only to be interrupted by SHIELD agents air-dropping onto his roof, hooking him up, and airlifting him into a Helicarrier, all while Clint protests that they have the wrong guy.
** In a meta example [[http://shesalittleobsessed.tumblr.com/post/100517454316 this tweet]] from Matt Fraction, in which he implies that the volume will end with all of the cast except Lucky dying and Lucky eating their bodies.

''(They get back to beating him into unconsciousness. When Clint wakes up, he's loaded into the van with a bag over his head, later being unmasked while tied to a chair in a large room filled with bros)''\\

--->'''Clint''': You're going to need more guys.\\
(A load of guys come out from two vans, who proceed to overwhelm him and knock him out. Page later, Clint wakes up and is unmasked in front of a large room filled with guys)\\
'''Clint''': Huh, so you got more guys.

* In the non-canon ''[[ComicBook/{{Gwenpool}} Gwenpool Holiday Special]]'', Hawkeye tells [[ComicBook/RedSkull Red Skull]] to think of a happy memory and then go @#$% himself. Clint gets eaten by a shark launched by the Skull but it was WorthIt.

--->Years later and people still make fun of the skirt...

-->'''Gangster:''' You geev me ginger (derogatory patriarchial epithet), I geev you Avenger (slang for male genitalia).
-->'''Kate''': '''Wow,''' the mouth on you.

-->'''Kate''': Suck it, Domitian.

-->'''Clint''': You're going to need more guys.
-->(A load of guys come out from two vans, who proceed to overwhelm him and knock him out. Page later, Clint wakes up and is unmasked in front of a large room filled with guys)
-->'''Clint''': Huh, so you got more guys.

-->'''Brian''': You think juggling some Avengers is tough work? Try policing the Entire Omniverse!
-->'''Clint''': Someone feeling underapreciated? I cherish you, Captain Britain, and you look ''so'' pretty in that new suit.
-->'''Brian''': I was worried about using too much black.
-->'''Clint''': No, it's slimming.

-->'''Minotaur-looking creature''': You will DIE by the horns of MUTAURUS!
-->'''Clint''': See, I have this thing about not getting killed by people with INCREDIBLY STUPID NAMES!

--> '''Clint''': This is Clint Barton. I might be late.
--> '''Steve''': Shake a leg. We have one meeting a week. Get here.
--> '''Clint''': I might be lost.
--> '''Steve''': I don't believe you.
--> '''Clint''': I might also be in a dumpster.
--> '''Steve''': I believe you.
--> '''Clint''': There was a girl. And some people who hit me.
--> '''Steve''': Tell it to the chaplain, Hawkeye. Get here.
--> '''Clint''': ''YOU ARE OLD.''

* The solicit for Hawkeye (Vol.4) #15 includes the line, "Plus…two free staples!"

-->'''Clint''': Someone feeling underapreciated? I Cherish you, Captain Britian, and you look SO Pretty in that new suit.

-->'''Clint''': No, its slimming.