History Funny / FIsForFamily

'''Vic:''' Nah man. From the looks of that poop he's not going to be around much longer. Something eating him alive form the inside. You know what I mean? Like a goddamn [[Franchise/{{Alien}} alien]] in there.

* The Thanksgiving parade features a balloon of cartoon animal Sleepy Ramirez... with anatomically correct features. Cue a shadow of it's member falling on the crowd, with everyone looking shocked at the sight.

* The Thanksgiving parade features a balloon of cartoon animal Sleepy Ramirez... with anatomically features. Cue a shadow of it's member falling on the crowd, with everyone looking shocked at the sight.

* While Maureen is watching Megan, a Thanksgiving commercial is playing on tv, starring Colt Luger. However, after saying that it's almost Thanksgivingm he realizes in the middle of the commercial that he forgot to pick his kid up from summer camp.
* Kevin accidentally setting the local synagogue on fire. And through a series of poor phrasing, making it seem like Otto's fault. Whose name he ''finally'' gets right at the worst possible time.
-->'''Otto:''' ''Now'' you choose to remember my name?!
* As punishment for [[NotWhatItLooksLike almost burning down a synagogue]] while trying to get Alice back, Kevin is forced to work for Smokey, who makes Kevin call him "Black God".
** Another moment for Smokey; he's attending Rosey's opening for a new basketball court at the local rec center in the season premiere, and is shown crying, only to state that it's not from how touched he is, but because his organs are shutting down.
** Smokey yelling at Kevin over how petty his girl troubles compared to Smokey's issues.
---> '''Smokey:''' As of this morning, I got $14 to my name! ''In change!'' I'm close to losing my foot! Not from diabetes, gambling debts. Joke's on them though, it's been dead for years! 'Cause of diabetes!

'''Woman:''' (''knocking on the door'') Sir, I'm sorry, but we can hear you out here.\\

* Bob Pogo's entire season arc, which ends up being one hell of a LaserGuidedKarma backlash for him. He decides to finally open that [[CallBack fried chicken skin restaurant]], which he finances by stabbing his co-workers in the back and helps seal the merger. [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome It flops because most people find the idea of just eating the skin disgusting]], and the whole restaurant ends up burning down on Thanksgiving after Pogo gets into a fight with the mayor during the parade. And since he put himself into debt with the mob to buy the building, he spends the rest of the season on the run to avoid getting murdered.
** Bob ends up broke after the fire because he didn't insure his restaurant. [[SkewedPriorities He spent that money on a poorly made chicken mascot costume]] [[TooDumbToLive which he DID insure!]].
** A closer look at the menu in the restaurant shows that it's not just the meals that consist of chicken skins, but even the salads, and the ''drinks!'' No surprise that their first customer, who just came in to use the bathroom, decided he'd rather shit in his car than order something.
** Not to mention how insanely wasteful the whole process is. Rather than buying skin in bulk from a slaughterhouse or a butcher shop, where it'd be considered trash, Bob bought whole chickens, skinned them, then ''threw the meat in the garbage!''

---> '''Smokey:''' As of this morning, I got 14$ to my name! ''In change!'' I'm close to losing my foot! Not from diabetes, gambling debts. Joke's on them though, it's been dead for years! 'Cause of diabetes!

** The TV in the bar is showing [[ShowWithinAShow ''Bruce Again'']], and every time the CampGay main character says his CatchPhrase, the whole bar cheers along. Also, Sue is under the impression that the actor who plays him is straight in real life. He has to be, since [[TheBeard he's married]] to a [[ButchLesbian female jai-alai champion]]. Louis is amused at her naivite.

* The mystery surrounding Big Bill's dying words; "Box 16". Frank spends the entire season trying to find out the meaning, first thinking it's related to a bunch of junk, mostly old chinese food takeout menus and a stolen ashtray, he found in a box among his dad's stuff, until Sue pointed out the box actually said "91". After finding a mysterious key with the number on it on Bill's keychain, Frank spends episodes looking all over town for the lock it fits, almost giving up, until he discovers it's for Locker 16 at the local bowling alley, where he finds a bunch of old cassette tapes his dad recorded, and spends weeks listening to them, hoping that they contain some kind of fatherly advice or epiphany, even though it mostly seems to be Big Bill's audio diary. After all that, the SeriesFinale reveals that Bill's last words weren't "Box 16" at all, it was ''"Bach 16"'', AKA, the BWV 16 by classical composer Johann Sebastian Bach, which had been used for the melody of Bill's favorite ''White House Beer'' jingle back in the 30's. This is revealed in the last few minutes of the entire show!

'''Kevin:''' And in the toilet tank, uhh the back of the clock, your coat text box-\\
'''Sue:''' Why were you in my coat text box?\\

* The mystery surrounding Big Bill's dying words; "Box 16". Frank spends the entire season trying to find out the meaning, first thinking it's related to a bunch of junk, mostly old chinese food takeout menus and a stolen ashtray, he found in a box among his dad's stuff, until Sue pointed out the box actually said "91". After finding a mysterious key with the number on it on Bill's keychain, Frank spends episodes looking all over town for the lock it fits, almost giving up, until he discovers it's for Locker 16 at the local bowling alley, where he finds a bunch of old cassette tapes his dad recorded, and spends weeks listening to them, hoping that they contain some kind of fatherly advice or epiphany, even though it mostly seems to be Big Bill's audio diary. After all that, the SeriesFinale reveals that Bill's last words weren't "Box 16" at all, it was ''"Bach 16"'', AKA, the BWV 16 by classical composer Johann Sebastian Bach, which had been used for the melody of Bill's favorite ''White House Beer'' jingle back in the 30's. This is revealed in the last few minutes of the entire show!

-->'''Otto''': ''Now'' you choose to remember my name?!

--> '''Female Announcer''': ''Alahican - We're On Fire!''
--> '''Male Announcer''': [[CrossesTheLineTwice Kids Ride Free!]]

--> '''Ed''': In retrospect, letting Mr. Creator/StanleyKubrick have full creative control was a mistake.

--> '''Philip''': Is he on narcotics?
--> '''Bill''': I'd say he's drunk, but usually that just makes him meaner!

---> '''Smokey:''' As of this morning, I got 14$ to my name! ''In change!'' I'm close to losing my foot! Not from diabtes, gambling debts. Joke's on them though, it's been dead for years! 'Cause of diabetes!

-->'''Frank:''' Okay, I'm sorry about my lack of attendance. But coming to Mass blows my whole Sunday right out of the water. I got to get up early, shave, pile the family in the car. Then once I get here, I'm kneeling, I'm standing, I'm kneeling, I'm sitting, shaking hands with people I don't care about. And even then it's not over because I have to take the whole family out for waffles! Everybody gets waffles! And there's another line. We can make waffles at home, but ''no'', we have to go out where the whole town's getting waffles! I got my wife a waffle iron for our anniversary. She said, "What's this for?" I said, "So I can have my Sundays back!" So, yeah, I don't go to church, okay? Because I figure I'm not gonna make it to heaven anyways! None of my dreams have come true in this world! Why should the afterlife be any different?! But I've had a really bad run lately! Today was my worst day in months! My wife and kids think I'm crazy, and I don't know what to do with myself! So you are gonna sit there, listen to what I have to say, clean it up a little bit, break the news to him, and tell him to get off his fat cloud and give this guy a win!\\
'''Woman:''' ''(knocking on the door)'' Sir, I'm sorry, but we can hear you out here.\\
'''Frank:''' And God can see you interrupting me, so go fuck yourself! ''(He opens the door and sees the woman is a nun. He then closes the door embarrassed)'' Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I... just told a nun to go fuck herself.

--->'''Pogo:''' I think Gordon is stuck in the wheel.

--> '''Smokey''': As of this morning, I got 14$ to my name! ''In change!'' I'm close to losing my foot! Not from diabtes, gambling debts. Joke's on them though, it's been dead for years! 'Cause of diabetes!

--> '''Sue''': Jeez, this town has a ''lot'' of gay bars...

--> '''Manager''': Well, unless you're waiting for a bus, or exploring your sexuality, get the fuck out of my station!