History Funny / BioShock1

* When you use the Enrage plasmid to make enemies fight each other, it's always a gas, especially when they're angrily cursing each other out. Also funny if you use it to make a lone splicer lash out at a Big Daddy. HilarityEnsues.

* Waders: "He offered you salvation, and you SHIT on him!"

* Upon Equiping the Big Daddy Bodysuit:

--> ''Somethiing tells you that you'll need it.''

* This gem:
-->'''Dr. Steinman''': An intruder! He's ugly! UGLY! ''UGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY!!!''" *Begins firing Tommy gun*.

-->'''Lady Smith:''' "You call that tenderloin? If you serve that in any respectable hotel in New York, they'd laugh you out of town!"\\
'''Lady Smith:''' "CHARLES? [[PoliticallyIncorrectVillain I think the Negro cook's been stealing!]]"

--> '''Dr. Grossman:''' "[[{{Squick}} THERE'S SEMEN ON EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!]]"

--> '''Dr. Grossman:''' "When is a fever not a fever? [[InsaneTrollLogic WHEN I SAY IT ISN'T!]]"
--> '''Dr. Grossman:''' "I made a promise to do no harm... and I mostly meant it."

-->'''Suchong:''' "Get AWAY, you filthy little shit!" ([[TooDumbToLive smacks the Little Sister]])\\
* The Little Sister cries*\\
* Big Daddy growls*\\
[[spoiler:'''Suchong:''' "[[OhCrap NO! NO!]] GET AWAY! ''AGH!''"]]

-->'''Little Sister:''' "That's mine!"

* Yeah, Steinman's freaky as all get out, but still -- "STOP CROWDING ME! LOOK IN A MIRROR! LOOK IN A MIRROR!"

-->'''Steinman:''' "I never realized how much her face... sags. Scalpel."

** Atlas' outburst [[spoiler:when Ryan kills Julie with poisonous gas]] is rather darkly humorous.
---> '''Atlas''': "Every toime we get a yahd ahead, Roian goes and moves the goal posts down to the other end of the field!"

--->"Really woun'ja up with that [[spoiler: wife and child bit.]] ''(ridiculous, Lucky-Charms-like brogue)'' Ohhhhhhhh, me pohr Moira! Ei me weeee baybee Pahtrikk...."
* "Now would you kindly head to Ryan's office and kill the son of a bitch?" Admit it, [[spoiler:[[FridgeHorror before you found out its true significance]],]] you chuckled a bit at this line.

--> '''Suchong''': ''(On the Telekinesis Plasmid)'' "Cannot stop speeding bullet, but can catch and throw fast moving object. Problem not with Plasmid. Problem with reaction time. ''({{Beat}})'' Suchong just get new idea for Plasmid."
* When you get to Atlas' Headquarters, there is the possibility to get some ammo for your crossbow. Where do you find these crossbow bolts? [[DartboardofHate Stuck in a picture of Andrew Ryan hanging on the wall.]]

--> '''Anya''': Piece of cake for an electrical engineer. Too bad I design ladies' shoes.

* [[spoiler:When Fontaine realizes that "would you kindly" isn't effective at controlling you anymore, after asking you in vain two or three times to "Go get stepped on by a Big Daddy, would you kindly?" Something about the increasingly confused and irritated tone of his voice was just hilarious. It then stopped being funny and became really unpleasant when he reveals he knows another code phrase. One that gradually ''stops your heart''.]]

** Despite being a really nasty MadScientist, Suchong's audio diaries typically have a twist on them that makes them darkly comedic. [[spoiler:This includes his own, extremely satisfying demise.]]

** Made even better when it happens while Cohen thinks [[https://twitter.com/KirbyOfHyrule/status/1267187515766661122?s=09 mockinhg his art.]]

* The "[[http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Cheap_Son_of_a_Bitch Cheap Son of a Bitch]]" audio diary by Suchong. "Go suck egg" is basically Suchong's hilarious version of "Go fuck yourself."
** TruthInTelevision, "egg" means testicle in Chinese slang.

--> '''Dr. Grossman:''' "[[{{Squick}}THERE'S SEMEN ON EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!]]"

--> '''Dr. Grossman:''' "THERE'S SEMEN ON EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!"

--> '''Dr. Grossman:''' "When is a fever not a fever? WHEN I SAY IT ISN'T!"

--->"Really woun'ja up with that [[spoiler: wife and child bit.]] ''(ridiculous, Lucky-Charms-like brogue)'' Ohhhhhhhh, me pohr Moira! Ei me weeee baybee Patrick...."

--> '''Dr. Grossman:''' I made a promise to do no harm... and I mostly meant it.

* The ''Doctor Grossman'' splicers have some good ones.
--> '''Splicer:''' I made a promise to do no harm... and I mostly meant it.

--> '''Dr Grossman:''' "When is a fever not a fever? WHEN I SAY IT ISN'T!"

* The ''Doctor'' splicers have some good ones.

** Julie Langford is voiced by the same woman who voices the "Ladysmith" Splicers. The woman is a master of having every word out of her mouth sound like it has air quotes around it.

** Despite being a really nasty MadScientist, Suchong's audio diaries typically have a twist on them that makes them darkly comedic. [[spoiler: This includes his own, extremely satisfying demise.]]

'''Lady Smith:''' "CHARLES? [[DeliberateValuesDissonance I think the Negro cook's been stealing!]]"

--> '''Suchong''': ''(On the Telekinesis Plasmid)'' "Cannot stop speeding bullet, but can catch and throw fast moving object. Problem not with Plasmid. Problem with reaction time ''({{Beat}})'' Suchong just get new idea for Plasmid."
* When you get to Atlas' Headquarters, there is the possibility to get find some ammo for your crossbow. Where do you find these crossbow bolts? [[DartboardofHate Stuck in a picture of Andrew Ryan hanging on the wall.]]

* Anya Andersdotter may have a tragic backstory that includes the loss of her young daughter, but even though she only leaves two audio diaries behind it's evident she was a DeadpanSnarker right to the end:

--> '''Anya''': Piece of cake for an electrical engineer. Too bad I design lady's shoes.