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Changed line(s) 276,277 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Tim:''' "Remember when you were 6 and I was 22??"\\
'''Rich:''' "Do you remember when I ''groomed you''? I was your barber for sixteen years!"
'''Rich:''' "Do you remember when I ''groomed you''? I was your barber for sixteen years!"
to:
---->'''Tim:''' "Remember Remember when you were 6 and I was 22??"\\
22??\\
'''Rich:'''"Do Do you remember when I ''groomed you''? ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice groomed you]]''? [[BaitAndSwitch I was your barber for sixteen years!"years!]]
'''Rich:'''
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Changed line(s) 354,356 (click to see context) from:
** While watching ''The Baby'', the social worker tells the baby they're gonna do something [[AccidentalInnuendo more grown-up today]]. Everybody responds with a Uh-oh, and Mike puts a pillow on Rich's crotch (which Rich takes and hits Mike with).
** Mike says he wanna say something that might be controversial. Jay asks if Mike also wanted to fuck the baby.
** Rich Evans chooses ''The Baby'' as the best of the worst by saying: [[ThatCameOutWrong "I'm giving it to the baby."]]
** Mike says he wanna say something that might be controversial. Jay asks if Mike also wanted to fuck the baby.
** Rich Evans chooses ''The Baby'' as the best of the worst by saying: [[ThatCameOutWrong "I'm giving it to the baby."]]
to:
** While watching ''The Baby'', the social worker tells the baby they're gonna do something [[AccidentalInnuendo more grown-up today]]. Everybody responds with a Uh-oh, and an "Uh-oh" while Mike puts a pillow on Rich's crotch (which Rich takes and hits Mike with).
** Mikesays states that he wanna wants to say something that might be controversial. Jay asks if Mike also wanted to fuck the baby.
** Rich Evans chooses ''The Baby'' asthe best of the worst by saying: [[ThatCameOutWrong "I'm giving it to the baby."]]
** Mike
** Rich Evans chooses ''The Baby'' as
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* ''Battle of the Genres''
** While watching ''The Baby'', the social worker tells the baby they're gonna do something [[AccidentalInnuendo more grown-up today]]. Everybody responds with a Uh-oh, and Mike puts a pillow on Rich's crotch (which Rich takes and hits Mike with).
** Mike says he wanna say something that might be controversial. Jay asks if Mike also wanted to fuck the baby.
** Rich Evans chooses ''The Baby'' as the best of the worst by saying: [[ThatCameOutWrong "I'm giving it to the baby."]]
** While watching ''The Baby'', the social worker tells the baby they're gonna do something [[AccidentalInnuendo more grown-up today]]. Everybody responds with a Uh-oh, and Mike puts a pillow on Rich's crotch (which Rich takes and hits Mike with).
** Mike says he wanna say something that might be controversial. Jay asks if Mike also wanted to fuck the baby.
** Rich Evans chooses ''The Baby'' as the best of the worst by saying: [[ThatCameOutWrong "I'm giving it to the baby."]]
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* ''Spotlight - [[Creator/NeilBreen Cade: The Tortured Crossing]]''
** Not even five seconds in and the episode [[TheTeaser cold opens]] with a gem:
--->'''Neil Breen:''' I'm on my way, I'm running late. I just had to kill a gang of[[CueCardPause ...]] ten kidnappers. By myself, using my superpowers.
--->*Rich almost does a SpitTake*
** Not even five seconds in and the episode [[TheTeaser cold opens]] with a gem:
--->'''Neil Breen:''' I'm on my way, I'm running late. I just had to kill a gang of[[CueCardPause ...]] ten kidnappers. By myself, using my superpowers.
--->*Rich almost does a SpitTake*
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Changed line(s) 341,343 (click to see context) from:
'''Bible Baby:''' On Sunday, he puts on his spiritual best and gives his language a spiritual rest!\\
He's just a fat little baby! He wants his bottle, and he don't mean maybe!\\
He samples solid foods once or twice, but he says doctrine leaves him cold as ice!\\
He's just a fat little baby! He wants his bottle, and he don't mean maybe!\\
He samples solid foods once or twice, but he says doctrine leaves him cold as ice!\\
to:
'''Bible Baby:''' On Sunday, he puts on his spiritual best and best\\
And gives his language a spiritual rest!\\
He's just a fat little baby! ''*squeak squeak*''\\
He wants his bottle, and he don't mean maybe!\\
He samples solid foods once ortwice, but twice\\
But he says doctrine leaves him cold as ice!\\
And gives his language a spiritual rest!\\
He's just a fat little baby! ''*squeak squeak*''\\
He wants his bottle, and he don't mean maybe!\\
He samples solid foods once or
But he says doctrine leaves him cold as ice!\\
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Changed line(s) 338 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Bible Baby:''' His spiritual tummy, it can't take too much!\\
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*** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRh4VepKupo Here's the full song they were reacting to, called "Fat Baby".]]
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Changed line(s) 343,344 (click to see context) from:
He samples solid foods once or twice, but doctrine leaves him cold as ice!\\
'''Jay:''' The [[PrecisionFStrike fuck is she singing about?!]]
'''Jay:''' The [[PrecisionFStrike fuck is she singing about?!]]
to:
He samples solid foods once or twice, but he says doctrine leaves him cold as ice!\\
'''Jay:''' The[[PrecisionFStrike fuck ''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]'' is she singing about?!]]about?! It's not Jesus!
'''Jay:''' The
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** The group's confused reaction to the [[WordSaladLyrics some of the things Bible Baby sings:]]
-->'''Bible Baby:''' His spiritual tummy, it can't take too much!\\
Once a week, he gets his spiritual lunch!\\
'''Jack:''' ...''[[FlatWhat what?]]''\\
'''Bible Baby:''' On Sunday, he puts on his spiritual best and gives his language a spiritual rest!\\
He's just a fat little baby! He wants his bottle, and he don't mean maybe!\\
He samples solid foods once or twice, but doctrine leaves him cold as ice!\\
'''Jay:''' The [[PrecisionFStrike fuck is she singing about?!]]
-->'''Bible Baby:''' His spiritual tummy, it can't take too much!\\
Once a week, he gets his spiritual lunch!\\
'''Jack:''' ...''[[FlatWhat what?]]''\\
'''Bible Baby:''' On Sunday, he puts on his spiritual best and gives his language a spiritual rest!\\
He's just a fat little baby! He wants his bottle, and he don't mean maybe!\\
He samples solid foods once or twice, but doctrine leaves him cold as ice!\\
'''Jay:''' The [[PrecisionFStrike fuck is she singing about?!]]
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Changed line(s) 336 (click to see context) from:
to:
** Jack's horrified face when they start watching "Bible Baby".
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[[folder:2024 Episodes]]
* ''Wheel of the Worst #27''
** During the wheel spins Rich somehow breaks the wheel so that the rubber stopper is stuck above the wheel causing the wheel to keep spinning and spinning.
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 308 (click to see context) from:
** As Mike is reading off of the back of the ''Silent Night, Deadly Night 5'' box, he calls attention to the fact that Creator/MickeyRooney's character is named "Joe Petto"[[note]]which Mike briefly misreads as "Joe ''[[PedoHunt Pedo]]''"[[/note]], but he has a son named [[WhoNamesTheirKidDude "Pino Pedo"]]. During the cut to the screening of the movie, Jack realizes to his horror that [[CassandraTruth Mike wasn't joking about the kid's name]].
to:
** As Mike is reading off of the back of the ''Silent Night, Deadly Night 5'' box, he calls attention to the fact that Creator/MickeyRooney's character is named "Joe Petto"[[note]]which Mike briefly misreads as "Joe ''[[PedoHunt Pedo]]''"[[/note]], but he has a son named [[WhoNamesTheirKidDude "Pino Pedo"]].Petto"]]. During the cut to the screening of the movie, Jack realizes to his horror that [[CassandraTruth Mike wasn't joking about the kid's name]].
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Changed line(s) 323 (click to see context) from:
*** When it comes time for voting, [[CommanderContrarian Mike]] [[FiveSecondForeshadowing makes a point of stating Mee Christmas isn't getting picked]], and that [[SayingTooMuch only a jackass would vote for it,]] [[SpottingTheThread something Jack and Rich quickly catch on to]]. After Josh picks ''Cancel Christmas'', Mike decides to have Rich go next instead of Jack... whereupon Rich decides to give Mike an early Christmas present [[FaceHeelTurn and vote for Mee Christmas himself,]] [[{{Troll}} which prompts Mike to announce his own vote without hesitation,]] [[ThisCannotBe much to Jack's growing dismay]].
to:
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Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
** Following their discussion of "High Impact Hand Safety" , Mike and Rich call the production company's number as Harry S. Plinkett and Harry G. Plinkett, leaving a voice message asking if they could be held liable for Harry S. Plinkett cutting his hand by masturbating against a combine.
to:
** Following their discussion of "High Impact Hand Safety" , Mike and Rich call the production company's number as Harry S. Plinkett and Harry G. Plinkett, leaving a voice message asking if they could be held liable for Harry S. Plinkett cutting his hand [[NoodleIncident by masturbating against a combine.combine]].
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** Following their discussion of "High Impact Hand Safety" , Mike and Rich call the production company's number as Harry S. Plinkett and Harry G. Plinkett, leaving a voice message asking if they could be held liable for Harry S. Plinkett cutting his hand by masturbating against a combine.
----> '''Mike (as Mr. Plinkett)''': There's blood all over the farm equipment.
----> '''Mike (as Mr. Plinkett)''': There's blood all over the farm equipment.
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Changed line(s) 29 (click to see context) from:
----> '''Mike:''' Wow, Rich, you held on to that AIDS longer than Magic Johnson!
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Changed line(s) 152 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Jack''': You don't always hit with your jokes but we can count on you at least once a month.
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Changed line(s) 198 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Rich''': This is like if somebody asked Rich Evans to design a ''nuclear reactor''.
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Changed line(s) 205 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Mike''': That's ''fuckin' funny!''
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Changed line(s) 209,210 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Mike''': Rich, you put the "cock" in Cockney.\\
'''Rich''': I put the cock in my mouth. (''everybody starts laughing'') ''[[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud What?]]''\\
'''Rich''': I put the cock in my mouth. (''everybody starts laughing'') ''[[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud What?]]''\\
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Changed line(s) 213 (click to see context) from:
'''Jay''': Can you be special guest editor for just that one line? You could somehow find a way to stretch it out to fifteen minutes!
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Changed line(s) 218,219 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Josh''': (''during the viewing'') It sounded like he was fuckin'--like, going off stage!\\
'''Mike''': (''during the discussion'') ''[[Film/ThisIsSpinalTap THANK YOU, CLEVELAND, GOOD NIIIIIIIIGHHT!!!]]''
'''Mike''': (''during the discussion'') ''[[Film/ThisIsSpinalTap THANK YOU, CLEVELAND, GOOD NIIIIIIIIGHHT!!!]]''
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Changed line(s) 235 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Mike''': They talked about someone's chaps! Talk about the video!
to:
Changed line(s) 243 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Liz''': (to Slick) Why would you watch the channel that tries to sell you something? [[InnocentlyInsensitive You haven't got any money!]]
to:
Changed line(s) 245,249 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Liz''': (to Slick) Do you have your homework done?
---->'''Josh''': (as Slick) I don't have any homework, I'm ''35''!
---->'''Jay''': (as Slick) And poor!
---->'''Liz''': Have you done the dishes like your mom asked you to?
---->'''Josh''': (as Slick) ''She's dead!''
---->'''Josh''': (as Slick) I don't have any homework, I'm ''35''!
---->'''Jay''': (as Slick) And poor!
---->'''Liz''': Have you done the dishes like your mom asked you to?
---->'''Josh''': (as Slick) ''She's dead!''
to:
---->'''Josh''':
'''Josh:''' (as Slick) I don't have any homework, I'm
---->'''Jay''':
'''Jay:''' (as Slick) And
---->'''Liz''':
'''Liz:''' Have you done the dishes like your mom asked you
---->'''Josh''':
'''Josh:''' (as Slick) ''She's dead!''
Changed line(s) 253 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Jay''': (''acting out excitement'') "''40 dollars!?''"
to:
Changed line(s) 255,256 (click to see context) from:
----> '''Mike''': (''chuckling'') Rich...Rich approves!\\
'''Rich''': (''smiling, nodding in agreement'') I do, I do!
'''Rich''': (''smiling, nodding in agreement'') I do, I do!
to:
Changed line(s) 262,263 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Mike''': [[OnceMoreWithClarity (offscreen) I'm pulling that out-of-context.]]\\
'''Jay''': [[HowWeGotHere (offscreen) Just do that after]] ''[[HowWeGotHere every]]'' [[HowWeGotHere video they turn to.]]\\
'''Jay''': [[HowWeGotHere (offscreen) Just do that after]] ''[[HowWeGotHere every]]'' [[HowWeGotHere video they turn to.]]\\
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Changed line(s) 265 (click to see context) from:
'''Rich''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny You better do that.]]
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Changed line(s) 271 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Mike''': HELLO, and welcome to ''Red Letter Media's HAUNTED MUSEUM''. [''poses awkwardly''] We've collected many haunted objects from around the ''glob-ee'', haunted objects like: haunted dolls, haunted clocks, haunted dolls, haunted goblets, haunted bird cages, ''haunted dolls'', haunted tea pots, [[BrokenRecord haunted dolls]], haunted objects from around the ''rowld''.
to:
Changed line(s) 274,275 (click to see context) from:
----> '''Tim''': "Remember when you were 6 and I was 22??"
----> '''Rich''': "Do you remember when I ''groomed you''? I was your barber for sixteen years!"
----> '''Rich''': "Do you remember when I ''groomed you''? I was your barber for sixteen years!"
to:
----> '''Rich''':
'''Rich:''' "Do you remember when I ''groomed you''? I was your barber for sixteen years!"
Changed line(s) 281 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Mike''': For one, brief moment in time, Rich Evans is a winner. The Junka pile precariously balances on one tape, for a moment. A moment so short, in fact, it's less than one one-hundredth of a second. Through editing I have the power to pause time, and let him relish in his victory, although short as it may be. For, alas, all good things must come to an end. And it is with a gentle nudge that I usher Rich Evans back into reality, a reality where he is ''never'' a winner. And he will '''''always''''' be a loser.
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Changed line(s) 284 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Mike''': It was your tape, it was ''your'' tape, you pervert! Sick fuck.
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Changed line(s) 286 (click to see context) from:
----> '''Jay''': (''laughing uproariously'') Is this written by Creator/JohnWaters?
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Changed line(s) 288 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Mike''': I was more aroused watching this than this S&M workout video. I'm ashamed to say!\\
to:
---> '''Mike''': '''Mike:''' I was more aroused watching this than this S&M workout video. I'm ashamed to say!\\
Changed line(s) 290 (click to see context) from:
'''Jay''': (''in montage'') It starts, and they just keep talking about, like, how, like, ''hot'' their bodies are! [...] "But they have the bodies of ''hot men!''" [...] "They're all ''sexy'', right?" [...] "You want a ''hot, sexy bod'' like these mastodon men!" [...] They're--the ''hot bodies'' of mastodons... [...] The ''hot bod''. [...] "They're ''hot!'' You wanna be ''hot'' like them, eat ice cream!"
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Changed line(s) 292 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Mike''': This is the best video I think I've ever seen on Best of the Worst.
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Changed line(s) 301,303 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Jay''': Does Rich get this reference?\\
'''Mike''': No.\\
'''Rich''': ''No.'' [...] I know "[[{{Music/WeirdAlYankovic}} Amish Paradise]]", does that count?
'''Mike''': No.\\
'''Rich''': ''No.'' [...] I know "[[{{Music/WeirdAlYankovic}} Amish Paradise]]", does that count?
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Changed line(s) 309 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Jack''': It reminds me a lot of when [[Film/ManOfSteel Zach Snyder took over Superman]], and he just kinda, like, [[BuffySpeak forgot all of his Supermany stuff]]. And so, like, "This is Superman, as a creepy, awkward alien, who's spying on all the children."
to:
Changed line(s) 313 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Mike''': I kept waiting for someone to FUCK that TEACHER! Anybody, I don't care who! [[CallForward Mickey Rooney]], somebody fuck that teacher!!
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Changed line(s) 317 (click to see context) from:
----> '''Rich''': Man, f['''''BLEEP''''']in', she's f['''''BLEEP''''']in' taking f['''''BLEEP''''']in' shotgun rounds to the f['''''BLEEP''''']in' chest, directly to the f['''''BLEEP''''']ing sternum! You can...you can see the f['''''BLEEP''''']ing hole!
to:
Changed line(s) 319,320 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Jay''': (off-camera) [[MathematiciansAnswer Oh, it's a weird little animated thing.]]
--->'''Mike''': ''Fuck off!''
--->'''Mike''': ''Fuck off!''
to:
--->'''Mike''':
'''Mike:''' ''Fuck off!''
Changed line(s) 326,327 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Rich''': [''instrumental of "O Tannenbaum" begins playing underneath''] I mean it is all--really, Christmas is all about greed. It really is! You can tell a kid they're not getting Christmas gifts; what the ''fuck'' do you think is gonna happen? Christmas is about ''unmitigated'' '''''greed'''''. All of these movies about the Christmas spirit, '''IT'S ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT!''' AND-AND-AND-AND deep in your hearts, '''''you know I'm right!!'''''\\
'''Jack''': That's why the winner of this is repacked, public domain cartoons! [[{{Film/RoboCop1987}} I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR!]]\\
'''Jack''': That's why the winner of this is repacked, public domain cartoons! [[{{Film/RoboCop1987}} I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR!]]\\
to:
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Redirect to Ass Pull, can't tell if replacement applicable.
Changed line(s) 307 (click to see context) from:
** During his broad summary of the plot of ''Cancel Christmas'', Mike [[SelfServingMemory claims]] that as part of their disguise on Earth, Santa and his elf lackey [[ShockingSwerve kill a janitor]].[[note]]This is despite the fact that we are ''clearly shown during the screening'' that the elf tricked the janitor into taking a vacation, so he can pretend to be a janitor himself.[[/note]] Josh and Jack quickly realize something's wrong with that, but Mike refuses to give them a word edgewise.
to:
** During his broad summary of the plot of ''Cancel Christmas'', Mike [[SelfServingMemory claims]] that as part of their disguise on Earth, Santa and his elf lackey [[ShockingSwerve kill a janitor]].janitor.[[note]]This is despite the fact that we are ''clearly shown during the screening'' that the elf tricked the janitor into taking a vacation, so he can pretend to be a janitor himself.[[/note]] Josh and Jack quickly realize something's wrong with that, but Mike refuses to give them a word edgewise.
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Changed line(s) 204 (click to see context) from:
** Mike asks what a Tinder profile for pedos would be called, then realizes it would be "Kinder!" [[note]] the German word for children, not kinder[[/note]] Josh gets more upset by how he missed the obvious pun than the joke itself.
to:
** Mike asks what a Tinder profile for pedos would be called, then realizes it would be Jay chirps in "Kinder!" [[note]] the German word for children, not kinder[[/note]] Josh gets more upset by how he missed the obvious pun than the joke itself.
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Changed line(s) 277 (click to see context) from:
** Tim, Jay and Mike each pick one of three movies, requiring Rich to be the tie-breaker. He instead chooses ''{{Film/Rhinestone}}'', which has been sitting on a shelf within his line of vision for the entire discussion.
to:
** Tim, Jay and Mike each pick one of three movies, a different movie, requiring Rich to be the tie-breaker. He instead chooses ''{{Film/Rhinestone}}'', which has been sitting on a shelf within his line of vision for the entire discussion.
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Changed line(s) 285 (click to see context) from:
*** Some of the lines spoken throughout the tape tickle the group, including: "If you don't ''breathe'', I will ''beat you'' with my ''stethoscope''!", "It's ''criminal'' not to have a ''great ass!''" and a very curt "Now I'm gonna whip you!"
to:
*** Some of the lines spoken throughout the tape tickle the group, including: "If you don't ''breathe'', I will ''beat you'' with my ''stethoscope''!", such as "It's ''criminal'' not to have a ''great ass!''" and a very curt "Now I'm gonna whip you!"ass!''"
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Changed line(s) 273 (click to see context) from:
*** Among the men that Asbestos Felt's character suspects his wife is cheating on him with, one is their neighbor, a noticeably older man who is identified by Felt as his best friend.
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*** Among One of the men people that Asbestos Felt's character suspects Felt thinks his wife is cheating on him with, one with is their neighbor, a noticeably an older man who is identified by Felt as his best friend.
Changed line(s) 276 (click to see context) from:
** Among the films that ''Vampire Riderz'' is derivative of, ''[[Film/Blade1998 Blade]]'' is mentioned by Mike, accompanied by an image of the DVD cover for ''[[CallBack Vampire Assassin]]''.
to:
** Among the films that ''Vampire Riderz'' is derivative of, When Mike mentions ''[[Film/Blade1998 Blade]]'' is mentioned by Mike, accompanied by during the ''Vampire Riderz'' discussion, an image of the DVD cover for ''[[CallBack Vampire Assassin]]''.Assassin]]'' appears on screen.
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Changed line(s) 257 (click to see context) from:
*** Colin remarks that one of the films explosions was "bigger than the one in ''{{Film/Oppenheimer}}''".
to:
*** Colin remarks that one of refers to an explosion in the films explosions was movie as being "bigger than the one in ''{{Film/Oppenheimer}}''".
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Changed line(s) 253 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Jay''': (''acting out excitement'') "''40 dollars!?''"\\
to:
---> '''Jay''': (''acting out excitement'') "''40 dollars!?''"\\dollars!?''"
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Changed line(s) 252 (click to see context) from:
** The [=McNamara=] Brothers, of ''Twin Dragon Encounter'' and ''Dragon Hunt'', appear again in ''Back in Action'' as henchmen who get beaten up by Billy Blanks. Rich asks how the brothers could have agreed to play a role in which they lose a fight, which Mike responds to by miming an executive signing a check.
to:
** The [=McNamara=] Brothers, of ''Twin Dragon Encounter'' and ''Dragon Hunt'', appear again in ''Back in Action'' as henchmen who get beaten up by Billy Blanks. Rich asks how the brothers could have agreed to play a role in which they lose a fight, which Mike responds to by miming an executive signing pretending to sign a check.
Deleted line(s) 254,256 (click to see context) :
'''Colin''': (''with an exaggerated Canadian accent'') "Okay!"\\
'''Mike''': (''also affecting an accent'') "''FOURRRTY Canada bucks??''"\\
'''Rich''': "Split two ''ways''??"
'''Mike''': (''also affecting an accent'') "''FOURRRTY Canada bucks??''"\\
'''Rich''': "Split two ''ways''??"
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Changed line(s) 170 (click to see context) from:
* It's not a real episode, but it's part of RLM's BotW playlist so it's going here: ''We Finally Watched Nukie: The VHS Grading Video'', in which Mike, Rich, and Jay explore the VHS tape speculation market and attempt to corner it themselves.
to:
* It's not a real episode, but it's part of RLM's BotW playlist so it's going here: ''We Finally Watched Nukie: The VHS Grading Video'', in which Mike, Rich, and Jay explore the VHS tape speculation market and attempt to corner it themselves.
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Changed line(s) 252 (click to see context) from:
** The [=McNamara=] Brothers, of ''Twin Dragon Encounter'' and ''Dragon Hunt'', appear again as henchmen in ''Back in Action'' who get beaten up by Billy Blanks. Rich asks how the brothers could have agreed to play a role in which they lose a fight, which Mike responds to by miming an executive signing a check.
to:
** The [=McNamara=] Brothers, of ''Twin Dragon Encounter'' and ''Dragon Hunt'', appear again as henchmen in ''Back in Action'' as henchmen who get beaten up by Billy Blanks. Rich asks how the brothers could have agreed to play a role in which they lose a fight, which Mike responds to by miming an executive signing a check.
Changed line(s) 313 (click to see context) from:
*** This in turn prompts Rich to argue that an [[Literature/AtlasShrugged Ann Rand-ian]] Santa would be a much better Santa for this movie.
to:
*** This in turn prompts Rich to argue that an [[Literature/AtlasShrugged Ann Ayn Rand-ian]] Santa would be a much better Santa for this movie.
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Changed line(s) 318 (click to see context) from:
** For no reason what's so ever, Mike's way of segueing into the ''Silent Night, Deadly Night 5'' discussion is to scream. Rich says "It was like glitching back in."[[note]]Naturally, when it comes time for ''Mee Christmas'', Rich decides to scream as well.[[/note]]
to:
** For no reason what's so ever, what-so-ever, Mike's way of segueing into the ''Silent Night, Deadly Night 5'' discussion is to scream. Rich says "It was like glitching back in."[[note]]Naturally, when it comes time for ''Mee Christmas'', Rich decides to scream as well.[[/note]]
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Changed line(s) 329 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Rich''': I mean it is all--really, Christmas is all about greed. It really is! You can tell a kid they're not getting Christmas gifts; what the ''fuck'' do you think is gonna happen? Christmas is about ''unmitigated'' '''''greed'''''. All of these movies about the Christmas spirit, '''IT'S ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT!''' AND-AND-AND-AND deep in your hearts, '''''you know I'm right!!'''''\\
to:
---->'''Rich''': [''instrumental of "O Tannenbaum" begins playing underneath''] I mean it is all--really, Christmas is all about greed. It really is! You can tell a kid they're not getting Christmas gifts; what the ''fuck'' do you think is gonna happen? Christmas is about ''unmitigated'' '''''greed'''''. All of these movies about the Christmas spirit, '''IT'S ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT!''' AND-AND-AND-AND deep in your hearts, '''''you know I'm right!!'''''\\
Changed line(s) 331 (click to see context) from:
'''Rich''': "''[[{{Malaproper}} Wee Christmas]]''" is the TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! THE '''''TRUE''''' CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!! IT'S SHOVELING OUT ''CRAP'' IN THE DOLLAR STORES UNDER FALSE PRETENSES TO MAKE A ''QUICK, FUCKING'' '''''BUCK!''''' '''''MEERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHER FUCKER!!!'''''
to:
'''Rich''': "''[[{{Malaproper}} Wee Christmas]]''" is the TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! THE '''''TRUE''''' '''''TRRUUUUE''''' CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!! IT'S SPIRIT, OF SHOVELING OUT ''CRAP'' IN THE DOLLAR STORES UNDER FALSE PRETENSES TO MAKE A ''QUICK, FUCKING'' '''''BUCK!''''' '''''MEERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHER FUCKER!!!'''''
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Changed line(s) 311,312 (click to see context) from:
** For some reason, Santa's human disguise on Earth in ''Cancel Christmas'' makes him look more like Satan than Santa, something not helped by Judd Nelson unintentionally choosing to act like he's in a horror movie[[note]]"weird and alienating, and far too knowledgeable"[[/note]]. Jack promptly compares this to [[TakeThat Zach Snyder's version of Superman]].
--->'''Jack''': It reminds me a lot of when [[Film/ManOfSteel Zach Snyder took over Superman]], and he just kinda, like, [[BuffySpeak forgot all of his Supermany stuff]]. And so, like, "This is Superman, as a creepy, awkward alien, who's spying on all the children."
--->'''Jack''': It reminds me a lot of when [[Film/ManOfSteel Zach Snyder took over Superman]], and he just kinda, like, [[BuffySpeak forgot all of his Supermany stuff]]. And so, like, "This is Superman, as a creepy, awkward alien, who's spying on all the children."
to:
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** Mike demanding that the movie turn into a porno.
--->'''Mike''': I kept waiting for someone to FUCK that TEACHER! Anybody, I don't care who! [[CallForward Mickey Rooney]], somebody fuck that teacher!!
** Eventually, Mike just comes forward and admits [[KickTheDog to wishing Judd Nelson was dead]].
** For no reason what's so ever, Mike's way of segueing into the ''Silent Night, Deadly Night 5'' discussing is to scream. "It was like glitching back in."
*** Naturally, when it comes time for ''Mee Christmas'', Rich decides to scream as well.
--->'''Mike''': I kept waiting for someone to FUCK that TEACHER! Anybody, I don't care who! [[CallForward Mickey Rooney]], somebody fuck that teacher!!
** Eventually, Mike just comes forward and admits [[KickTheDog to wishing Judd Nelson was dead]].
** For no reason what's so ever, Mike's way of segueing into the ''Silent Night, Deadly Night 5'' discussing is to scream. "It was like glitching back in."
*** Naturally, when it comes time for ''Mee Christmas'', Rich decides to scream as well.
to:
** For no reason what's so ever, Mike's way of segueing into the ''Silent Night, Deadly Night 5''
*** Naturally,
*** The general reaction to, as Mike later describes it, "the fuckfest in the child's bedroom turned into an orgy of blood" midway through the movie.
----> '''Rich''': Man, f['''''BLEEP''''']in', she's f['''''BLEEP''''']in' taking f['''''BLEEP''''']in' shotgun rounds to the f['''''BLEEP''''']in' chest, directly to the f['''''BLEEP''''']ing sternum! You can...you can see the f['''''BLEEP''''']ing hole!
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** When it comes time for voting, [[CommanderContrarian Mike]] [[FiveSecondForeshadowing makes a point of stating Mee Christmas isn't getting picked]], and that [[SayingTooMuch only a jackass would vote for it,]] [[SpottingTheThread something Jack and Rich quickly catch on to]]. After Josh picks ''Cancel Christmas'', Mike decides to have Rich go next instead of Jack... whereupon Rich decides to give Mike an early Christmas present [[FaceHeelTurn and vote for Mee Christmas himself,]] [[{{Troll}} which prompts Mike to announce his own vote without hesitation,]] [[ThisCannotBe much to Jack's growing dismay]].
to:
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** All of this of course builds into what the video climaxes on: [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Rich's closing rant about how shitty Christmas is]]:
--->'''Rich''': I mean it is all--really, Christmas is all about greed. It really is! You can tell a kid they're not getting Christmas gifts; what the ''fuck'' do you think is gonna happen? Christmas is about ''unmitigated'' '''''greed'''''. All of these movies about the Christmas spirit, '''IT'S ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT!''' AND-AND-AND-AND deep in your hearts, '''''you know I'm right!!'''''
--->'''Jack''': That's why the winner of this is repacked, public domain cartoons! [[{{Film/RoboCop1987}} I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR!]]
--->'''Rich''': "''[[{{Malaproper}} Wee Christmas]]''" is the TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! THE '''''TRUE''''' CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!! IT'S SHOVELING OUT ''CRAP'' IN THE DOLLAR STORES UNDER FALSE PRETENSES TO MAKE A ''QUICK, FUCKING'' '''''BUCK!''''' '''''MEERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHER FUCKER!!!'''''
--->'''Rich''': I mean it is all--really, Christmas is all about greed. It really is! You can tell a kid they're not getting Christmas gifts; what the ''fuck'' do you think is gonna happen? Christmas is about ''unmitigated'' '''''greed'''''. All of these movies about the Christmas spirit, '''IT'S ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT!''' AND-AND-AND-AND deep in your hearts, '''''you know I'm right!!'''''
--->'''Jack''': That's why the winner of this is repacked, public domain cartoons! [[{{Film/RoboCop1987}} I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR!]]
--->'''Rich''': "''[[{{Malaproper}} Wee Christmas]]''" is the TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! THE '''''TRUE''''' CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!! IT'S SHOVELING OUT ''CRAP'' IN THE DOLLAR STORES UNDER FALSE PRETENSES TO MAKE A ''QUICK, FUCKING'' '''''BUCK!''''' '''''MEERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHER FUCKER!!!'''''
to:
--->'''Jack''':
'''Jack''': That's why the winner of this is repacked, public domain cartoons! [[{{Film/RoboCop1987}} I'D BUY THAT FOR A
--->'''Rich''':
'''Rich''': "''[[{{Malaproper}} Wee Christmas]]''" is the TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! THE '''''TRUE''''' CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!! IT'S SHOVELING OUT ''CRAP'' IN THE DOLLAR STORES UNDER FALSE PRETENSES TO MAKE A ''QUICK, FUCKING'' '''''BUCK!''''' '''''MEERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHER FUCKER!!!'''''