History Funny / AssassinsCreedBrotherHood

-->'''Bartolomeo''': ''Bene''.[[hottip:*:Alright.]] So maybe I could use a little help.

--->'''Bartolomeo''': You steal a man's wife and hide inside a fortress?! Nothing hangs between your thighs! In fact, there is a hole there so deep it reaches into the maledetto inferno! [[hottip:*:Fucking underworld!]]

'''Ezio''': Salve[[hottip:*:Hello]] to you, too.\\

* During a Templar Agent side mission where you have to take down Gaspar de la Croix (aka the Engineer in multi-player), Ezio says it should be relatively easy to overwhelm a single gunman right before a bullet whizzes directly by his head. His shocked reaction sells it: "''Merda..."''[[hottip:*:Shit...]]

* [[ImprovisedWeapon Killing a guard with a broom]]: Funny. Seeing a broom impacting with the same force and sound as a mace? ''Hilarious''. But killing a guard with a broom and [[TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything getting the achievement "Spring Cleaning"?]] ''Minutes'' of nonstop laughter.
** How about [[BeyondTheImpossible slitting a guards throat]] with a broom?
** Splinters, maybe?

---> '''Shaun''': Anyone up for some reconciliatory yoga? Anyone?

** Which is made even more hiliarious if you're not white, such as wearing an alt costume that's not white, or if you dyed your self different colors other than white.

* One of the captains in charge of a Borgia-controlled guard tower can be found giving advice to his men from horseback, explaining to them that they may be under attack from assassins and gives them somewhat helpful hints about how to fight them. One of those tips is that they rarely go for a full-out frontal attack. Sending in yourself and all of your recruited assassins at that moment certainly qualifies. Especially if one of the signalled assassins rides in on a horse of their own from out of nowhere to kill him.
* Ezio's taunts are pretty hiliarious, but this one definitely stands out:

* Overheard from a townsperson after a successful battle with guards: "This is our just reward - entrusting our security to incompetent guards!"

--->'''Email from Lucy''': Thank you, Rebecca. Shaun's on clean-up next week.

-->'''Shaun''': ...were raised by the She-Wolf. Which, incidentally, is the nickname for my girlfriend in the Hasting's household. Don't ask.

-->'''Shaun''': The apprentice even got to keep the Mona Lisa. Either this was true love, or Salai had one hell of a sugar daddy.

*** ...were raised by the She-Wolf. Which, incidentally, is the nickname for my girlfriend in the Hasting's household. Don't ask.
*** If we survive this, I'm going to go fishing here. You're not invited.
*** The apprentice even got to keep the Mona Lisa. Either this was true love, or Salai had one hell of a sugar daddy.
*** "What about those other seven children?" you may ask. Find out next week, on Romance Gone Wrong.

---> ...were raised by the She-Wolf. Which, incidentally, is the nickname for my girlfriend in the Hasting's household. Don't ask.
---> If we survive this, I'm going to go fishing here. You're not invited.
---> The apprentice even got to keep the Mona Lisa. Either this was true love, or Salai had one hell of a sugar daddy.
---> "What about those other seven children?" you may ask. Find out next week, on Romance Gone Wrong.

--> ...were raised by the She-Wolf. Which, incidentally, is the nickname for my girlfriend in the Hasting's household. Don't ask.
--> If we survive this, I'm going to go fishing here. You're not invited.
--> The apprentice even got to keep the Mona Lisa. Either this was true love, or Salai had one hell of a sugar daddy.
--> "What about those other seven children?" you may ask. Find out next week, on Romance Gone Wrong.

'''Ezio''': Somehow that does not surprise me.

* Several of Shauns database entries.

* Ezio's taunts are pretty hiliarious, but this one defiantly stands out:

* When an Assassin recruit takes down [[CompleteMonster Malfatto]] (aka the Doctor multiplayer character) in the main storyline, Ezio does the typical "Requiescat in pace" thing, and moves his hand as if to close the target's eyes (as he does with other targets). But since the Doctor wears a mask, Ezio just kinda hovers his hand over the beak, like he doesn't know what to do, before just leaving him.

-->'''[[spoiler: Claudia]]''': [[WhatKeptYou ...What?]]

-->'''Guard B:''' [[Gasshole I will give you wind!]] ''(Both laugh)''

-->'''Guard B:''' I will give you wind! ''(Both laugh)''

* One of the captains in charge of a Borgia-controlled guard tower can be found giving advice to his men from horseback, explaining to them that they may be under attack from assassins and gives them somewhat helpful hints about how to fight them. One of those tips is that they rarely go for a full-out frontal attack. Sending in yourself and all of your recruited assassins at that moment certainly qualifies. Especially if one of the signalled assassins rides in on a horse of their own from out of nowhere to kill him.

-->'''[[spoiler: Claudia]]''': ...What?

* [[ImprovisedWeapon Killing a guard with a broom]]: Funny. Seeing a broom impacting with the same force and sound as a mace? ''Hilarious''. But killing a guard with a broom and [[TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything getting the achievement "Spring Cleaning"?]] ''Minutes'' of nonstop laughter.

* [[ImprovisedWeapon Killing a guard with a broom]]: Funny. Seeing a broom impacting witht he same force and sound as a mace? ''Hilarious''. But killing a guard with a broom and [[TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything getting the achievement "Spring Cleaning"?]] ''Minutes'' of nonstop laughter.

* [[ImprovisedWeapon Killing a guard with a broom]]: Funny. Killing a guard with a broom and [[TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything getting the achievement "Spring Cleaning"?]] ''Hilarious.''

-->'''Ezio''': "Someone my age." ''Imbecille. (Jerk.)''

-->'''Guard B:''' [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean I will give you wind!]] ''(Both laugh)''

* Early in the DLC, Leonardo da Vinci's artistic apprentice Gian Giacomo Caprotti, aka Salaì, asks Ezio if he was one of [[spoiler: the new Pope]]'s monks, to which Ezio answered, "My church is not of God." Salaì's response: "Outside of the church of God is the realm of men. [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean You worship there, ''messere''?]]" Later on, Salaì complains about Leonardo penny-pinching: