History Funny / ArneAnka

* Arne listens in on a woman at the next table, who is telling her friend a story about a drunken loser who tried to get lucky with her at a party by telling her that he was a misunderstood poet. He thinks it is hilarious ... until:
--> Did the creep tell you his name?
--> I don't know ... Something Duck ... Arne perhaps.

--> '''Willie''': Uncle Arne, why is that woman so ugly?
--> '''Arne''': *nervously* What are you talking about, she's beautiful!
--> '''Willie''': No she's not, and you always say that there should be a death penalty for "middle-aged bitches with sagging tits who loiter around town in tracksuits".
--> *Arne is wincing in pain with a notable dent in his head while the woman flips him off from outside the subway*

--> '''Arne''': It's no fun protesting anymore, it's way too legal.

--> '''Nazi''': Look, a communist! *the next panel shows Arne beaten senseless*

--> '''Arne''': *narrating while standing by a blackboard* The problem: There's too few clubs for too many people. There's too few clubs because the goverment are reluctant to allow more places to open because there's too many fights at the places that are already there. There's a lot of fights because there's too many people for too few clubs. [[TheDreaded So you hire bouncers.]]
--> '''Narrator''': An American filmmaker went to Moscow to film the breadlines and left emptyhanded, only to arrive on stopover in Sweden on an average Saturday night, and see lines stretching around the block!
--> '''American''': Jesus, these people must be ''starving!''

--> '''Punk''': Hey, check out that duck!
--> '''Punk 2''': That's a ''duck''?! I thought it was 857's second crash! (857 was a Soviet submarine that ran itself aground in southern Sweden in 1986)

--> '''Krille''': Bloody Hell, Arne...Have you ever thought about killing yourself...?
--> '''Arne''': Well...erm...When I feel like that, I usually think about killing other people...
--> '''Krille''': I am finished, Arne. Finished as an artist. For three weeks I have been working on a script about Guy de Maupassant's syphilitic fever dreams, and I haven't made a single millimeter of progress...
--> '''Arne''': Then write about something a little closer to home. How about "Krille Corcodile's contemplations over the difference between champagne puke and Spanish plonk puke"?

--> '''Tom''': How does it feel to be number two on my list?
--> '''Arne''': Awesome! How does it feel to be number two on my list?
--> '''Tom''': What list is that?
--> '''Arne''': People I want to kill!
--> '''Tom''': Who's number one, then?
--> '''Arne''': Your employer!

--> '''Zeke''': *surrounded by corpses* Arne, you're my best customer and a dear friend, and you'll always be welcome here, but the truth and business dont mix, so ''please keep your damn mouth shut!''

--> '''Arne''': Nothing makes women more attractive than booze and last call.

* One strip has Arne discover that he's got a new neighbor who's [[RightThroughTheWall making noises his old neighbor]], a disgraced, retired army colonel, couldnt possibly have made. He quickly becomes obsessed with finding out who this woman is, and after catching a glimpse of her leaving the apartment and discovering she's "one of God's fullbloods, the kind of woman put on Earth to make life miserable for us mortals", turns into a voyeour, constantly spying on her and the parade of men leaving her apartment. Until one day, after an unusually long night of bumps and moans, spots ''KRILLE'' leaving her apartment.
--> '''Narrator''': And to this day, Arne's friends talk about the time Krille got assaulted from behind by an unknown attacker in Arne's building. Unknown to everyone but us, that is. Us, and maybe one other person...

* One strip set in Zeke's Bar has Arne go into a long rant about the bleak existance of the average working man, and how all his toil will result in a divorce from a bored wife, a ruined family, and an utterly pointless life which is so depressing that [[BlackComedySuicide it drives every person sitting at the bar with him to suicide]].

* One strip set in Zeke's Bar has Arne go into a long rant about the bleak existance of the average working man, and how all his toil will result in a divorce from a bored wife, a ruined family, and an utterly pointless existance which is so depressing that [[BlackComedySuicide it drives every person sitting at the bar with him to suicide]].

--> '''Arne''': Nothing makes women more attractive than booze and last call.

--> '''Zeke''': *surrounded by corpses* Arne, you're my best customer and a dear friend, and you'll always be welcome here, but the truth and business dont mix, so ''please keep your damn mouth shut!''

--> '''Arne''': *narrating while standing by a blackboard* The problem: There's too few clubs for too many people. There's too few clubs because the goverment are reluctant to allow more places to open because there's too many fights at the places that are already there. There's too many people for too few clubs. [[TheDreaded So you hire bouncers.]]

** Even funnier, this was the last page made before Christensen originally cancelled the comic in 1995, and reflected his feelings on his creation becoming so mainstream he was considered a celebrity, which he absolutely hated.

** In the authors notes for this page in the 90's Anniversery Collection, Christensen talks about the creation of the page. In the early days of Arne Anka, he'd write the comic at a cafe in Stockholm, where he had gotten noticed as a regular, even though he always looked pissed off and never talked to anyone, to the point that he got nickmamed "The Man Who Never Smiles". The day he was writing that page, the MUCK panel popped into his head, and he fell out of his seat laughing like an idiot.

* The ''My Stockholm Testament, Or White Stockholmia'' trilogy, created in 1988 shortly after Christensen moved to Spain, which satirized the stifled and labyrinthian bar and nightclub scene of Sweden, and Stockholm especially, which was plagued by idiots from all over the country who flocked to the capital in a desperate attempt to become part of the jet set. Christensen himself noted how much constrast there was to the draconian laws about alcohol in Sweden, and the far more friendly ones in Spain, despite Swedens liberalism and Spains conservatism.

--> '''Krille''': I am finished, Arne. Finished as an artist. For three weeks I have been working on a script about Guy de Maupassant's syphilitic fever dreams, and I haven't made a single milimeter of progress...

* Arne is on the subway with Krille's little nephew, when the kid notices a rather Gonkish woman.
--> '''Nephew''': Uncle Arne, why is that woman so ugly?

--> '''Nephew''': No she's not, and you always say that there should be a death penalty for "middle-aged bitches with sagging tits who loiter around town in tracksuits".

* Arne spots an incredibly gorgeous woman in a bar. He runs through several options for striking up a conversation in his head, but rejects them all as hopeless. Deciding that he might as well burn his bridges before he does something stupid, he walks over and pours his beer down her cleavage while screaming incoherently. The next panel shows him walking home hand in hand with the woman, thinking "Holy ...???"

--> '''Arne''': Your employer!

--> '''Arne''': Well...erm...When I feel like that, I usually thinkabout killing other people...