History Film / UpPompeii

''Up Pompeii'' is a 1971 film and the first [[TheMovie film spin-off]] of ''Series/UpPompeii''. It stars Creator/FrankieHowerd, Patrick Cargill, Bill Fraser, Creator/MichaelHordern, Barbara Murray, Creator/LancePercival, Creator/AdriennePosta, Creator/BernardBresslaw, Roy Hudd, and Julie Ege.

* DemotedToExtra: Ammonia, Nausius, and Erotica in the film compared to the series - only Ammonia's actress (Barbara Murray) is given star billing, and even then, Nausius (as small as his role is) is the only one of the three who contributes to the plot in a meaningful way.

* BellyDancer: One appears at Ludicrus Sextus' orgy.

->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': Ah, Lurcio, how do you think it went?
->'''Lurcio''': Master, you've brought the house down.

-->'''Lurcio''': Is he ''human?''
-->'''Captain Bilius''': Almost. That's Gorgo the Invincible.

-->'''Lurcio''': Do you know? Clearing up after the last one, I came across a couple, left over from the orgy before. You'll never guess what the woman was saying to the man...
-->'''Man''': Come on, hurry up! I got others waitin'!
-->'''Lurcio''': 'Ow did you know? ({{Beat}}) Oh, I see, yes, sorry.

--->'''Rumpus''': No, don't scream.
--->'''Erotica''': I won't if you ''promise'' to stay.

--->'''Ammonia''': Oh, that's very sweet of you. Do come in for a little bite.
--->'''Captain Bilius''': Thank you, milady, I'm not hungry.
--->'''Ammonia''': Oh, who said anything about ''food?''

-->'''Lurcio''': Oh, what a time to go. Halfway through the picture. Now I shall never know 'ow it ends.

--->'''Procuria''': Now this one I can ''really'' recommend. She's called "Titta".
--->'''Lurcio''': I'm not surprised. Well, don't point them at me, dear. They might go off.

-->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': Well, if you could see your way... to letting him get away.
-->'''Jailer''': Wait a minute. Do I look like the sort of man who would accept a bribe?
-->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': Well, yes, you do, actually.
-->'''Jailer''': You're dead right.

-->'''Lurcio''': This is my master, Ludicrus Sextus. All "tus" and no "sex".

-->'''Lurcio''': Don't be cheeky, I'll smack your bottom.
-->'''Scrubba''': Promise?

-->'''Scrubba''': What's this, then? A rolling pin?
-->'''Lurcio''': "A rolling pin"? My poor, simple, ignorant girl, what does it look like? It's one of those symbols, isn' it? "Psychic".
-->'''Scrubba''': You mean "phallic"?

-->'''Lurcio''': I say, do you mind? You'll see plenty more of those later on.

-->'''Noxius''': Oh, Erotica. I do love this place. And this place! And this place!

-->'''Christian''': 'Ere, what about the Trojan 'Orse.
-->'''Lurcio''': Why, what do they do? ({{Beat}}) Oh, the Trojan ''Horse'', yes!

-->'''Lurcio''': Well, what do you think I was doing? Oh, well, I wasn't. I were watering the garden.

--->'''Lurcio''': "Flavia", I see. What "Flavia"? Vanilla?

--->'''Lurcio''': Oh, well. He's used to being made a convenience of.

--->'''Lurcio''': Oh, I know it's corny, but could you think of anything better at a time like this?

--->'''Lurcio''': It's rather a queer street, that.

--->'''Lurcio''': This is Erotica, daughter, and she's just been with one of her ''X'' lovers. "X" being the Latin word for "ten".

-->'''Scrubba''': I was looking for the prisoner, Lurcio.
-->'''Jailer''': He's in there, but if I let you in to see him, er, well, what's in it for me?
-->'''Scrubba''': That's up to you, isn't it?

-->'''Jailer''': Here's yer bread. An' here's yer water. There, I'm spoiling you, aren't I?
-->'''Lurcio''': Yes, you ''are''. Aren't I fortunate? BreakfastInBed!
-->'''Jailer''': Well, make yerself at home.

--->'''Lurcio''': "Ode to Flavia". How sweet. "I love her face, that bosom fair, that skin without a ripple. But most of all, I love to lie, with my lips upon her left shoulder".
--->'''Nausius''': I can't think of a rhyme for "ripple".
--->'''Lurcio''': Well, he's the only one who can't.

--->'''Lurcio''': "I hereby vow to do my all, to you, most beauteous Venus". ({{Beat}}) "All that I own, my heart and soul, and half a yard of gold brocade"?
--->'''Nausius''': Yes, yes, I know it doesn't rhyme, but it's for her wedding gown, you see.

--->'''Lurcio''': I say "mistress", I mean don't I mean we... well I don't mean I... er, well... I mean I ''serve'' her. ({{Beat}}) No, no, I mean, um, I try to give her satisfaction, I- Oh, form your own opinion.

--->'''Lurcio''': Oh, what happened? Did Nero have his thumb up? ({{Beat}}) I'll rephrase that.

--->'''Lurcio''': "Eye", huh. ({{Beat}}) ''Oh'', please yourself.

''Up Pompeii'' is a 1971 film and the first [[TheMovie film spin-off]] of ''Series/UpPompeii''. It stars Creator/FrankieHowerd, Patrick Cargill, Bill Fraser, Michael Hordern, Barbara Murray, Creator/LancePercival, Creator/AdriennePosta, Creator/BernardBresslaw, Roy Hudd, and Julie Ege.

* DoubleEntendre: The film seems to have three a minute!
** Even the film's theme isn't free from them:
--->''Up Pompeii!''
--->''Up Pompeii!''
--->''I never seem to get it...''
--->''U~u~u~u~up Pompeii!''
** Lurcio discussing the plans for Ludicrus Sextus' latest orgy with Vinus:
--->'''Lurcio''': This time it's to celebrate the Festival of the Prolific Goose. Lay all night.
** Cassandra warns of Pompeii's impending doom:
--->'''Cassandra''': Repent now, I say, or suffer the fate that befell the wicked people of Gomorrah.
--->'''Lurcio''': Quite, quite.
--->'''Cassandra''': And ''Sodom''.
--->'''Lurcio''': I quite agree, dear. The lot of them.
** Lurcio on the topic of Cassandra's love life:
--->'''Lurcio''': Well, did you notice that ring she had on? She had a ring, mmm, well, apparently, that was given to her by the man she loved when she was eighteen, you see, an' he left her, an' she's never had it off since.
** Procuria discussing Sutra's past with Lurcio:
--->'''Procuria''': In the court of Samarkand, she once held a ''very'' unique position.
--->'''Lurcio''': On top of the wardrobe, I should think.
** Lurcio arguing with Procuria over the price of slave girls:
--->'''Procuria''': Well, don't blame me. It's the ''inflation'' that does it.
--->'''Lurcio''': Oh... I wondered how she got them that size.
** Captain Bilius ordering Lurcio to move his donkey, Betty:
--->'''Captain Bilius''': Here, you there! Slave!
--->'''Lurcio''': 'Oo, me?
--->'''Captain Bilius''': Yes, you. Move your ass.
--->'''Lurcio''': ({{Beat}}) Well, that's nice, isn't it?
** After Captain Bilius falls off his horse:
--->'''Captain Bilius''': Oh, I've hurt my coccyx.
--->'''Lurcio''': I thought he bowled his back?
** When Ludicrus Sextus compliments Erotica:
--->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': Dear child, so lovely. So chaste.
--->'''Lurcio''': And so easily caught.
** Prosperus Maximus introduces Captain Bilius to Voluptua:
--->'''Prosperus Maximus''': This is my wife, the Lady Voluptua.
--->'''Captain Bilius''': It's a great pleasure, milady.
--->'''Voluptua''': I ''know''... I've tried it.
** Nausius tries telling Lurcio his news:
--->'''Nausius''': I feel a different person.
--->'''Lurcio''': ''Well'', it's better than sticking to one, isn't it? Teehee.
--->'''Nausius''': Lurcio, I've lost it.
--->'''Lurcio''': Pardon?
--->'''Nausius''': I've lost it.
--->'''Lurcio''': You haven't?!
--->'''Nausius''': Yes, I have. I have lost my heart!
--->'''Lurcio''': ''Oh''.
** When Captain Bilius discusses staying in Prosperus Maximus' palace with Voluptua:
--->'''Voluptua''': You will be staying with us, Captain?
--->'''Captain Bilius''': Certainly, yes, milady. I mean if you have room for me.
--->'''Voluptua''': I'm sure I can fit you in ''somewhere''.
** When Lurcio discusses the slave girls hired for Ludicrus Sextus' orgy:
--->'''Lurcio''': You see, the trouble they're foreign. They've come over here to learn the language. Au pair girls. ({{Beat}}) Now there's an "Oh!" pair if I ever saw one.
** When Lurcio asks Scrubba for the wine:
--->'''Lurcio''': Right now, Scrubba. I'm ready for it.
--->'''Scrubba''': Me ''too''.
--->'''Lurcio''': No, dear, for the ''wine''.
** When Ammonia chats with Captain Bilius during Ludicrus Sextus' orgy:
--->'''Ammonia''': A drink, perhaps?
--->'''Captain Bilius''': No.
--->'''Ammonia''': Well, there must be something that you'd like?
--->'''Captain Bilius''': Well, perhaps just a quick one.
--->'''Ammonia''': Here? Or upstairs?
** When Rumpus leaves Erotica during Ludicrus Sextus' orgy:
--->'''Erotica''': Well, it really is a bit ''stiff!''
** When Captain Bilius is trying to get Lurcio to give him the scroll:
--->'''Captain Bilius''': You know what I want, don't you?
--->'''Lurcio''': Certainly not! I have not the ''slightest'' idea.
--->'''Captain Bilius''': Oh, yes you have. It's about ''that'' long.
--->'''Lurcio''': ''Flattery'' will get you ''nowhere''.
** When Flavia is attending to Voluptua:
--->'''Voluptua''': Put my 'air up, Flavia. It gets in my way when I'm riding.
--->'''Flavia''': Oh, I'm sorry, milady. I didn't know you were going out tonight.
--->'''Voluptua''': Who said anything about going out?
** When Voluptua is seducing Ludicrus Sextus:
--->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': Let me tell you the latest position.
--->'''Voluptua''': I probably know it but carry on.
** When Lurcio tries to calm down the overexcited Christians:
--->'''Lurcio''': Alright, stop doing that. You'll screw yourself into the ground.
--->'''Christian''': Ay, grandad.
--->'''Lurcio''': You can ''screw'' yourself too.
** When Ludicrus Sextus comes to terms with the fact he can't let Lurcio die:
--->'''Ludicrus Sextus''': It's no use, Ammonia. I can't do it.
--->'''Ammonia''': Well, ''that's'' nothing new.
** When Lurcio gives Biggia a massage:
--->'''Biggia''': That's ''right''. ''Knead'' it, ''knead'' it!
--->'''Lurcio''': So do I, dear, but I can't always get it.
** When Cassandra asks Lurcio if he can feel the rumbling from Mount Vesuvius:
--->'''Cassandra''': Don't you feel anything?
--->'''Lurcio''': I rarely get the chance, dear, an' I've got no time now.

* VisibleBoomMic: When Lurcio is being confronted by the guards, the shadow of a camera can be seen.

* {{Undercrank}}: Played for laughs when people are trying to escape the Senate during the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.

* MistakenIdentity: Odius mistakes Villanus for Lurcio in the steam baths and plunges a dagger into his back, killing him. Prosperus Maximus wanders in on him and then does the same, killing Odius.

* DemotedToExtra: Ammonia, Nausius, and Erotica in the film compared to the show - only Ammonia's actress is given star billing, and even then, Nausius (as small as his role is) is the only one of the three who contributes to the plot in a meaningful way.

* AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption: When Lurcio is telling the audience what happened after Ludicrus Sextus' last orgy.

Lurcio (Howerd) - slave of Ludicrus Sextus (Hordern), Ammonia (Murray), Erotica (Madeline Smith), and Nausius (Royce Mills) - is helping to plan for his master's latest orgy before the arrival of Emperor UsefulNotes/{{Nero}} (Cargill), when the soothsayer Cassandra (Rita Webb) warns of great trouble to come. This is more true than people realise, as Captain Bilius (Percival) is plotting with Prosperus Maximus (Fraser), Odius (Ian Trigger), and Villanus (Aubrey Woods) to have Nero assassinated and replaced by Proseperus Maximus. He has a scroll with the names of all those who plan to assassinate Nero but ends up losing it in the marketplace, where it is picked up by Lurcio and discovered by him and fellow slave Scrubba (Posta).

-->'''Scrubba''': I was looking for the prisoner Lurcio.

* PlotHole: Lurcio tells Captain Bilius that he didn't read the incriminating scroll because he never learned to read, but he is able to read Nausius' odes without issue.

* TakeOurWordForIt: Used and then {{Inverted}}. References are made to some erotic frescoes in the ruins of Pompeii, but they cannot be seen. Then, in the final scene, the tour guide gives in and says "Oh, go on, then" and the frescoes are shown over the closing credits.

--->''And they're quite at home at the hippodrome,''
--->''You can choose who you prefer,''

Lurcio (Howerd) - slave of Ludicrus Sextus (Hordern), Ammonia (Murray), Erotica (Madeline Smith), and Nausius (Royce Mills) - is helping to plan for his master's latest orgy before the arrival of Emperor UsefulNotes/{{Nero}} (Cargill), when the soothsayer Cassandra (Rita Webb) warns of great trouble to come. This is more true than people realise, as Captain Bilius is plotting with Prosperus Maximus (Fraser), Odius (Ian Trigger), and Villanus (Aubrey Woods) to have Nero assassinated and replaced by Proseperus Maximus. He has a scroll with the names of all those who plan to assassinate Nero but ends up losing it in the marketplace, where it is picked up by Lurcio and discovered by him and fellow slave Scrubba (Posta).

** '''Procur'''ia. "Procure" means to obtain something, which makes sense for a slave trader.

* DemotedToExtra: Ammonia, Nausius, and Erotica in the film compared to the show - only Ammonia's actress is given star billing, and even then Nausius (as small as his role is) is the only one of the three who contributes to the plot in a meaningful way.

Nero, knowing of the plot on his life orders Lurcio to kill Prosperus Maximus, who in turn {{Blackmail}}s Lurcio to kill Nero. Lurcio decides to do both, and HilarityEnsues as Mount Vesuvius is ready to erupt.

* {{Fingore}}: When the giant narrator Lurcio is introducing the residents of Prosperus Maximus' palaces, Villanus sees his giant finger and swipes at it with his sword.

* KillEmAll: The film ends with the destruction of Pompeii which kills the entire cast, although Lurcio is implied to have lived and had children by the epilogue.

-->'''Lurcio''': Oh, well. He's used to being made a convenience of.

-->'''Lurcio''': Oh, I know it's corny, but could you think of anything better at a time like this?

* ShoutOut: Ammonia is known to gardeners everywhere as "the last of the red-hot pokers", a play on the novel ''Last of the Red Hot Lovers''.

* BigGuyLittle Guy: Big Villanus and little Odius, Prosperus Maximus' strong-arm men.