Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Deleted line(s) 56 (click to see context) :
* DalmatianFirefighter: Dalmatian firefighters attempt to extinguish the burning buildings in Dogen's mind.
Added DiffLines:
* FirehouseDalmatian: Dalmatian firefighters attempt to extinguish the burning buildings in Dogen's mind.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 55 (click to see context) from:
* CrypticallyUnhelpfulAnswer: When Frazie grills Ford about how he's somehow everywhere at camp, he tells her that he's just looking out for all of the campers safety. Frazie can tell he is leaving out huge chunks of the real answer, but drops it.
to:
* CrypticallyUnhelpfulAnswer: When Frazie grills Ford about how he's somehow everywhere at camp, he tells her that he's just looking out for all the safety of the campers safety. campers. Frazie can tell he is leaving out huge chunks of the real answer, but drops it. it.
* DalmatianFirefighter: Dalmatian firefighters attempt to extinguish the burning buildings in Dogen's mind.
* DalmatianFirefighter: Dalmatian firefighters attempt to extinguish the burning buildings in Dogen's mind.
Deleted line(s) 58 (click to see context) :
* DogStereotype: Dalmatian firefighters attempt to extinguish the burning buildings in Dogen's mind.
* MyGreatestFailure: [[spoiler:Jakob Winkle is haunted by the memories of selling people faulty cars that caused hundreds of deaths and injuries.]]
* PastExperienceNightmare: [[spoiler:Once Jakob discovers he's responsible for hundreds of deaths/injuries that came from [[TheAllegedCar selling people faulty automobiles]], the guilt haunts him for several years in the form of the Night-Mare.]]
Changed line(s) 143 (click to see context) from:
** Averted with Dogen. When he wanders off alone to go check out the G-men, he [[NoodleIncident somehow manages to convince them to unionize and becomes an honorary member.]]
to:
** Averted with Dogen. When he wanders off alone to go check out the G-men, G-Men, he [[NoodleIncident somehow manages to convince them to unionize and becomes an honorary member.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 104 (click to see context) from:
** The Night-Mare (A Nightmare that's undergone a horrifying horsey transformation to symbolize its hosts traumatic past.)
to:
** The Night-Mare (A Nightmare that's undergone a horrifying horsey transformation to symbolize its hosts host's traumatic past.)
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
* HonestJohnsDealership: [[spoiler: A memory vault reveals Jakob used to work for one of these. His scummy boss knowingly had him sell a faulty automobile series that got a lot of people hurt, and the guilt's driven the man into a state of near-sleeplessness.]]
* MetaphoricallyTrue: Jakob's doctor told him there was one last thing they could try when all his sleep medications stopped working and the man got desperate and aggressive. [[spoiler: That thing was getting him sent to Thorney Towers.]]
Changed line(s) 100 (click to see context) from:
** Freezie (Frazie's icy doppleganger inside Phoebe's mind)
to:
** Freezie (Frazie's icy doppleganger doppelganger inside Phoebe's mind)
Added DiffLines:
** The Night-Mare (A Nightmare that's undergone a horrifying horsey transformation to symbolize its hosts traumatic past.)
Added DiffLines:
** Averted with Dogen. When he wanders off alone to go check out the G-men, he [[NoodleIncident somehow manages to convince them to unionize and becomes an honorary member.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
* IronicName: Jakob Winkle's last name is a reference to ''Literature/RipVanWinkle''. But while Rip Van Winkle slept for years and years, Jakob is an insomniac.
Deleted line(s) 80 (click to see context) :
** Jakob Winkle's last name is a reference to ''Literature/RipVanWinkle'', another man with a connection to sleep.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 78 (click to see context) from:
* MeaningfulName: Pepper Triggs' last name means 'faithful', which is very apt given she's absolutely devoted to her puppet. Also, her name sounds vaguely like 'puppetry' if said fast.
to:
* MeaningfulName: MeaningfulName:
** Pepper Triggs' last name means 'faithful', which is very apt given she's absolutely devoted to her puppet. Also, her name sounds vaguely like 'puppetry' if saidfast.fast.
** Jakob Winkle's last name is a reference to ''Literature/RipVanWinkle'', another man with a connection to sleep.
** Pepper Triggs' last name means 'faithful', which is very apt given she's absolutely devoted to her puppet. Also, her name sounds vaguely like 'puppetry' if said
** Jakob Winkle's last name is a reference to ''Literature/RipVanWinkle'', another man with a connection to sleep.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* TheInsomniac: One of the patients Frazie encounters at Thorney Towers is Jakob Winkle, a man plagued by terrible insomnia.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* MeaningfulName: Pepper Triggs' last name means 'faithful', which is very apt given she's absolutely devoted to her puppet. Also, her name sounds vaguely like 'puppetry' if said fast.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
**While in Pepper's mind, Frazie finds herself attacked by a Heavy Censor while climbing some inclines. It throws a number of things at her, including barrels that she jumps over. [[VideoGame/DonkeyKong She even calls it a 'big gorilla'.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 129 (click to see context) from:
** When Pepper finally takes Sally off her hand in Chapter 31, she isn't able to move it. It turns out keeping your hand inside a hunk of wood for a few years isn't exactly healthy for its bone structure.
to:
** When Pepper finally takes Sally off her hand in Chapter 31, she isn't able to move it. It turns out keeping your hand locked in a certain position inside a hunk of wood for a few years isn't exactly healthy for its bone structure.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** When Pepper finally takes Sally off her hand in Chapter 31, she isn't able to move it. It turns out keeping your hand inside a hunk of wood for a few years isn't exactly healthy for its bone structure.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** The mental version of Sally [[spoiler:is a representation of Pepper's own unhealthy coping mechanisms regarding the death of her daughter. It's a construct more concerned with pretending Sally is still with her rather than caring for her own wellbeing. Pepper is only able to heal once Sally is destroyed and she is allowed to deal with her grief in healthier and constructive ways.]]
Added DiffLines:
* DemonicDummy: Salty Sally, who is overly protective of her status as Pepper's favorite puppet and [[BadBoss tries to get rid of the other dolls when they begin to complain about their working conditions.]]
Added DiffLines:
* OutlivingOnesOffspring: [[spoiler:Pepper's daughter Sally drowned in a lake when she was very young. Distraught, Pepper coped with the loss of her daughter by replicating her in puppet form.]]
Added DiffLines:
* ReplacementGoldfish: [[spoiler:Salty Sally turns out to be this for Pepper Triggs' own daughter, who drowned in a lake years ago.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
** While Frazie faces a luchadore in Velvetopia's wrestling rings, Lili's by the ringside cheering her on with [[WesternAnimation/Shrek "The chair! Use the chair!"]]
to:
** While Frazie faces a luchadore in Velvetopia's wrestling rings, Lili's by the ringside cheering her on with [[WesternAnimation/Shrek [[WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}} "The chair! Use the chair!"]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
I'm not sure why the last Shout-out refuses to reference properly
Added DiffLines:
** Coach, a (wannabe) soldier, tells Frazie to get out of his mind with [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 "This is my world, and you are not welcome in my world!"]]
** Frazie's tiny pony Sugarcube gets its own little spot at camp. The author refers to it as [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Sugarcube's Corner]].
** While Frazie faces a luchadore in Velvetopia's wrestling rings, Lili's by the ringside cheering her on with [[WesternAnimation/Shrek "The chair! Use the chair!"]]
** Frazie's tiny pony Sugarcube gets its own little spot at camp. The author refers to it as [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Sugarcube's Corner]].
** While Frazie faces a luchadore in Velvetopia's wrestling rings, Lili's by the ringside cheering her on with [[WesternAnimation/Shrek "The chair! Use the chair!"]]
Added DiffLines:
* StealthPun: Pepper Triggs, an original inmate in Thorney Towers, has specks of white and gray in her hair. Ergo, she has Salt-and-PEPPER hair.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* CompanionCube: In the upper levels of Thorney Towers Frazie meets Pepper Triggs, a woman whose only company besides Sheegor is a ventriloquist's dummy she calls Salty Sally.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* OriginalCharacter: The fic has new characters to keep things fresh and distinct.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* AscendedExtra: Dogen is a side character in ''Psychonauts'' and the first victim of Oleander's world-domination plot. Since ForWantOfANail is in full effect, Dogen not only avoids getting kidnapped, but he accompanies Frazie to Thorney Towers and becomes one of her party members.
Added DiffLines:
* SparedByTheAdaptation: In a sense. While Dogen doesn't die in ''Psychonauts'', he's the first kid targeted by Linda for the brain thefts, leaving him essentially brain-dead for the rest of the plot. In this fic, he manages to avoid getting his brain stolen entirely.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 60 (click to see context) from:
* {{Gangsterland}}: Maloof's mind -- "Maloof's Mafia Metropolis" -- is a massive, near-empty city ran by [[TheMafia a mafia gang]] made up of sentient pinstripe suits and censors.
to:
* {{Gangsterland}}: Maloof's mind -- "Maloof's Mafia Metropolis" -- is a massive, near-empty city ran by [[TheMafia a mafia gang]] made up of sentient pinstripe suits and censors.Censors.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 83 (click to see context) from:
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: When Frazie and Crystal enter Clem's mind, the first massive clue that there is seriously something wrong with Clem is when they encounter censors -- who are normally hostile to psychic foreigners -- that ignore them completely, instead choosing to laze about as though on vacation.
to:
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: When Frazie and Crystal enter Clem's mind, the first massive clue that there is seriously something wrong with Clem is when they encounter censors Censors -- who are normally hostile to psychic foreigners -- that ignore them completely, instead choosing to laze about as though on vacation.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 107 (click to see context) from:
* StoryBreakerPower: Dogen's incredibly powerful psychic abilities allow our heroes to not only break Linda's brainwashing and skip Lungfishopolis, but it allows them to skip the fight with Jasper as well. Naturally, Jasper complains.
to:
* StoryBreakerPower: Dogen's incredibly powerful psychic abilities allow our heroes to not only break Linda's brainwashing and skip Lungfishopolis, but it allows them to skip the fight fights with Dingo and Jasper as well. Naturally, Jasper complains.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 70 (click to see context) from:
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Chapter 28 consists of abbreviated versions of the Thornley Tower stages from the canon version of ''Psychonauts'' (The Milkman Conspiracy, Gloria's Theater, Black Velvetopia, and Waterloo World). When Dogen manages to take out Jasper's flying box seat in one hit, Jasper complains about him "skipping the boss fight."
to:
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Chapter 28 consists of abbreviated versions of the Thornley Tower Thorney Towers stages from the canon version of ''Psychonauts'' (The Milkman Conspiracy, Gloria's Theater, Black Velvetopia, and Waterloo World). When Dogen manages to take out Jasper's flying box seat in one hit, Jasper complains about him "skipping the boss fight."
Added DiffLines:
* StoryBreakerPower: Dogen's incredibly powerful psychic abilities allow our heroes to not only break Linda's brainwashing and skip Lungfishopolis, but it allows them to skip the fight with Jasper as well. Naturally, Jasper complains.
-->'''Jasper:''' You... you can't just skip the boss fight, you heathens! It's the grand culmination of the conflict! The final dramatic confrontation! ''You hacks can't even stick to the script!''
-->'''Jasper:''' You... you can't just skip the boss fight, you heathens! It's the grand culmination of the conflict! The final dramatic confrontation! ''You hacks can't even stick to the script!''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Chapter 28 consists of abbreviated versions of the Thornley Tower stages from the canon version of ''Psychonauts'' (The Milkman Conspiracy, Gloria's Theater, Black Velvetopia, and Waterloo World). When Dogen manages to take out Jasper's flying box seat in one hit, Jasper complains about him "skipping the boss fight."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* PlayingATree: Dogen says that his only experience with theater was playing a tree. He also ends up playing a sunflower while helping put on a play to bait out the Phantom.
-->'''Dogen:''' My sister said I was the best oak she'd ever seen.
-->'''Dogen:''' My sister said I was the best oak she'd ever seen.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 75 (click to see context) from:
That barely made sense even if he wasn’t in a delirious rage. "What?!"''
to:
That barely made sense even if he wasn’t wasn't in a delirious rage. "What?!"''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* {{Metaphorgotten}}: Lili tries to convince Edgar that Dingo and Lampita aren't worth his time:
-->''"Edgar, listen to me! Look, I know I'm young, but trust me, I've met girls just like her! It was never going to end well for you. They chew you up and spit you out! They use you to try and get back with someone else, or they try to mind control the camp DJ into liking them!"\\
\\
That barely made sense even if he wasn’t in a delirious rage. "What?!"''
-->''"Edgar, listen to me! Look, I know I'm young, but trust me, I've met girls just like her! It was never going to end well for you. They chew you up and spit you out! They use you to try and get back with someone else, or they try to mind control the camp DJ into liking them!"\\
\\
That barely made sense even if he wasn’t in a delirious rage. "What?!"''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
** The Drag-on is the personification of Vernon's long-winded storytelling style.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 71 (click to see context) from:
* MiracleGroMonster: The Egos Frazie encouters in Vernon's mind start out small, but grow bigger and tougher if left alone for too long until their reach enormous size.
to:
* MiracleGroMonster: The Egos Frazie encouters in Vernon's mind start out small, but grow bigger and tougher if left alone for too long until their they reach enormous size.
Added DiffLines:
** Vernon's Vernacular is a nested world filled with books that represent the stories Vernon wants to tell. The campfire represents how Vernon thinks of himself: a wise old storyteller who sees everyone as a potential audience to his annoying stories. His world is imaginative, but most things in it get bogged down by excessive wordiness and unnecessary attention to detail; such as the Psychonauts not saving the world because they have to do all the boring paperwork in excessive detail.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
i didn't think it was necessary to spoil oleander's name b/c we already know he's the bad guy
Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
* BewareTheNiceOnes: Dogen. Both of his proposed “plans” to stop [[spoiler:Oleander]] involve politely asking him to not be evil anymore. But after Frazie helps him with his issues, he’s more confident in the use of his powers, allowing him to chase off [[spoiler:Linda]] twice by almost making her head explode.
to:
* BewareTheNiceOnes: Dogen. Both of his proposed “plans” "plans" to stop [[spoiler:Oleander]] Oleander involve politely asking him to not be evil anymore. But after Frazie helps him with his issues, he’s more confident in the use of his powers, allowing him to chase off [[spoiler:Linda]] twice by almost making her head explode.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* BewareTheNiceOnes: Dogen. Both of his proposed “plans” to stop [[spoiler:Oleander]] involve politely asking him to not be evil anymore. But after Frazie helps him with his issues, he’s more confident in the use of his powers, allowing him to chase off [[spoiler:Linda]] twice by almost making her head explode.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* TooDumbToLive:
** Right after diving into his head to improve his technique, Frazie warns Vernon to hide from the brain-stealing monster lurking around camp. He immediately heads out into the open to see if he can find any other campers to try his new storytelling style on. To put it in his own words: ‘If something happens along the way... well, that would just be another amazing story to tell, right?’
** Elka as well. When she has a vision of Linda coming for them, she ditches the group to try and escape before she arrives... and [[SelfFulfillingProphecy runs right into her.]]
** Right after diving into his head to improve his technique, Frazie warns Vernon to hide from the brain-stealing monster lurking around camp. He immediately heads out into the open to see if he can find any other campers to try his new storytelling style on. To put it in his own words: ‘If something happens along the way... well, that would just be another amazing story to tell, right?’
** Elka as well. When she has a vision of Linda coming for them, she ditches the group to try and escape before she arrives... and [[SelfFulfillingProphecy runs right into her.]]
