History DrivesLikeCrazy / Literature

* In ''Literature/KingdomKeepers'', [[EccentricMentor Wayne]] is described as such, noting that a short drive nearly ended with a wreck several times.

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* ''Literature/HiveSeries'' has Otto and Laura, who are separately shown to lack driving skills. In book six, the team rushes to keep Laura from driving a car when they go to Europe, and when the Alphas have to learn to fly helicopters, everyone shies away from partnering with Otto, who apparently vaporized every simulated character in a thousand foot radius last time they did the exercise.
* ''Literature/CheaperByTheDozen'': Dad drives fast and doesn't often notice other cars approaching.
* Hiro Protagonist in ''Literature/SnowCrash'' drives his [[CoolCar pizza delivery supercar]] like crazy, plowing through fences and intersections to [[ThirtyMinutesOrItsFree deliver a pizza within 10 minutes]], to a destination 12 minutes away.
* Creator/TomClancy's novel ''Literature/RainbowSix'' has a hilarious ChaseScene sequence where a bunch of terrorists invoke this trope to get away from a blown mission, and John Clark tells the driver of his vehicle to avoid this trope, while still trying to keep up with the DrivesLikeCrazy terrorists.
* ''Literature/ThursdayNext'':
** Miss Havisham is fond of driving at full pelt through a city, nearly running over, well, everything. She does drag races on a fairly regular basis, and some of the stunts she pulls off in the real world would be impressive for NASCAR drivers. Lack of skill is not the issue here.
** Mr. Toad from ''Literature/TheWindInTheWillows'' is Miss Havisham's street racing rival.
* Mr. Toad also drives like this in ''Literature/TheWindInTheWillows''.
* Jordan Baker in ''Literature/TheGreatGatsby'' states that she trusts other drivers to get out of her way. Daisy Buchanan also has an episode [[spoiler:when she drives while emotionally distraught and kills Myrtle Wilson.]] WomenDrivers, perhaps? Not likely, as the only character [[UnreliableExpositor who claims]] to even care about road safety is [[TheNarrator Nick Carraway]]. Other character's reckless driving habits serve chiefly as [[RuleOfSymbolism a metaphor]] for TheRoaringTwenties, regardless of their gender.
* ''Literature/StephaniePlum'':
** The eponymous women herself might be a decent driver, but she is ''death'' on cars. Hers get destroyed almost [[OnceAnEpisode once a book]], albeit usually for reasons beyond her control such as bombs and fires. Ranger, Stephanie's mentor/UST generator, is cool with giving her cars as he writes it off as 'entertainment'.
** On the other hand, Grandma Mazur, once she finally learned to drive, managed to rack up enough moving violations to lose her license. In ''five'' days. The few who've ridden with her frequently complain about problems like whiplash from abrupt stops, etc.
* Valentine Michael Smith of Creator/RobertAHeinlein's ''Literature/StrangerInAStrangeLand'' appears to drive like this. It's actually perfectly controlled, because he's stretching his sense of time so that he sees everything in slow motion. It's mentioned to be very scary to watch, but perfectly safe.

* Creator/DavidDrake's ''Literature/{{RCN}}'' series has a standing joke that nobody can drive an aircar. By some count, seven named characters and a couple of redshirts have claimed this ability and at best they get there with severe dents. Rather makes you wonder why a spaceship that hasn't always got room for the guns bothers to carry one.

--->'''[[TheLeader Jake]]:''' Do you hate trash cans? Is that your problem? [[NotSoStoic Do you just HATE TRASH CANS]]?!!
--->'''Marco:''' I can't drive with you screaming in my ear.
--->'''Jake:''' You can't drive at all!

--->'''Jake:''' We'll let Marco drive. He has experience.
--->'''Cassie:''' Don't remind me. My dad ''cried'' over the twisted remains of that truck.

** [[TheSneakyGuy Tobias]] turns out to be an even worse driver than Marco, [[HypocriticalHumor who promptly calls him on it]]. He deserves a little more leeway than Marco since not only does he not normally have ''arms'', he's not usually a two metre tall dinosaur alien driving with his head stuck out of the sunroof.
* Jack, in Creator/RobertRankin's ''The Literature/HollowChocolateBunniesOfTheApocalypse''.
* ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}'':
** Jurgen, the aide of Literature/CiaphasCain, DrivesLikeCrazy... to the point of being a BadassDriver as well, because he cuts the time to actually reach a destination in half ''at worst'' at the cost of comfort, obstacle avoidance, and some of the laws of physics. And his vehicle of choice is an upgunned Salamander, a 33 tonne heavy tracked scout tank. Road signs, telephone poles, parked vehicles and anything else that is unfortunate enough to occupy the shortest route between Jurgen and his current goal has a nasty habit of getting flattened, although he stops short of actual vehicular homicide (at least to Cain's knowledge). The only person in the grim future of the 41st millennium capable of coaxing a vehicle the size of a small bus down back alleys or parallel parking it, the effects of his driving to his passengers are best left unchronicled.

** This trait comes in handy a lot, as Jurgen WILL get you where you need to go very quickly. And if the vehicle you are in is ambushed, there is no better man to have behind the wheel. He also takes warnings that the upcoming road in a post-urban-warfare region is impassable as a ''challenge'', and when told to "get onto the shuttle now" he takes it quite literally, driving up into said shuttle's bay at full speed. ''And stopping the tank on a dime.''

* Doctor Plemponi, principal of the Colonial School in Creator/JamesHSchmitz' Literature/TriggerArgee novel ''Legacy'', is a classic example of this trope. Only the fact that all aircars in the setting are equipped with computerized safety overrides and collision-avoidance autopilots keeps him from committing mass murder every time he gets behind the controls. Even with the best technology can manage, "Plemp" still managed to land his aircar in front of the targets on the outdoor firing range ''during a live-fire drill''. He then proceeded to fly the wrong way at full speed down a one-way traffic airlane, and when this fact was pointed out to him ''deliberately forced the oncoming aircar to veer off'' rather than correct his course. God only knows how much carnage would have ensued if he'd had more than one scene in the novel.
* In Creator/DanAbnett's ''Literature/GauntsGhosts'' novel ''Ghostmaker'', Ortiz has a tank driven into headquarters, scattering drilling soldiers and knocking all sorts of things astray. Then, he was inspired: a superior officer had ordered him to fire where Gaunt's Ghosts were, killing hundreds of them; Gaunt had [[TalkToTheFist attacked him]]; and the superior officer was looking to courtmartial and shoot Gaunt. Having gotten there quickly, Ortiz filed a report claiming that his injuries [[CutHimselfShaving sprang from his own guns' recoil]].
* The Knight Bus from ''Literature/HarryPotter''. Granted, obstacles (including houses) jump out of its way, but even so. In fact that may the problem, why bother learning to avoid obstacles if they will just jump out of your way? Passengers tend to leave the bus looking like they're going to throw up.
* ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga'':
** The only thing about Edward Cullen that scares Bella is his driving.
** Or any of the Cullens, actually. They all have SuperSpeed, so driving at human speeds would seem "slow" to them.
** They, as well as the Quilutes, are effectively immune to the destructive effects of car accidents on the human body. So they have an excuse.
* Max the Silent, in the books about outlaw private eye ''Literature/{{Burke}}'' by Andrew Vachss. The problem is that Max, who has a reputation as a major badass, thinks that people will move aside for him on the road as well as on the sidewalk.
* In ''Literature/MaximumRide'', narrator Max drives a van into a sedan at 60 mph the second time she gets behind a wheel -- with her family, including an eight-year-old, aboard. To be fair, she was attempting to teach herself how to drive. It just didn't turn out well.
-->'''Nudge:''' I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that. For so long.
* ''Literature/{{Lensman}}''. Rigellians are {{Blind Seer}}s (in place of sight and hearing, they have extra-sensory perception and telepathy) with tough hides that muffle their sense of touch. One minute in a Rigellian automobile (read: extremely powerful but also extremely '''''loud''''') has been known to ''drive normal humans insane''. A specially-armored and screened protagonist manages to survive the ride, but comes out at the other end severely traumatized. The alien driver is later surprised at this, because he was driving "with the utmost possible care and restraint" (for his species). Meanwhile, he (the following text is a direct quote from ''First Lensman''):
## Swung around a steel-sheathed concrete pillar at a speed of at least sixty miles per hour, grazing it so closely that he removed one layer of protective coating from the metal.
## Braked so savagely to miss a wildly careening truck that the restraining straps almost cut Samms' body, spacesuit and all, into slices.
## Darted into a hole in the traffic so narrow that only tiny fractions of inches separated his hurtling Juggernaut from an enormous steel column on one side and another speeding vehicle on the other.
## Executed a double-right-angle reverse curve, thus missing by hair's breadths two vehicles traveling in the opposite direction and one in his own.
## As a grand climax to this spectacular exhibition of insane driving, he plunged at full speed into a traffic artery which seemed so full already that it could not hold even one more car. But it could—just barely could. However, instead of near misses or grazing hits, this time there were bumps, dents—little ones, nothing at all, really, only an inch or so deep—and an utterly hellish concatenation and concentration of noise.
* Crowley of ''Literature/GoodOmens'' has generally little regard for speed limits, being able to use his demonic powers to dissuade traffic cops and keep his car dent-free. He attempts to maintain traffic laws once [[spoiler:and gets locked in Apocalyptic gridlock]] before reverting and pulling up on the sidewalk. This is properly shown in the [[Series/GoodOmens miniseries]]. In contrast, Aziraphale obeys all traffic laws, even when [[spoiler:the world is ending]] and he's levitating a scooter.
* ''Franchise/PerryMason''. It's a RunningGag that he breaks a ''bunch'' of traffic laws just to get to places (normally crime scenes). Apparently, Della Street can be just as bad when the urgency arises.
* ''Literature/ArtemisFowl'':
** Doodah Day. A pixie who nearly kills Holly Short with a construction vehicle, temporarily reduces [[DeadpanSnarker Mulch Diggums]] into a quivering pile of nerves with his piloting of a LEP transport pod, and gets a toy car up to ''sixty miles per hour'' -- '''indoors?''' Breaking the speed limit indoors. He must be [[Series/TopGearUK Jeremy Clarkson]]...
** Mulch Diggums himself could count:
--->'''Holly:''' What on earth were you doing, Mulch? The computer says you came all the way down here in first gear.\\
'''Mulch:''' There are gears?
*** Mulch's driving technique is described earlier in the book as being "focus on the wheel and the pedals, and ignore everything else." He also assumed the shuttle had an automatic transmission.
*** And in ''The Eternity Code,'' he scoffs at Juliet when she points out to him that he can't reach the brakes. It's not as though he'd use them if he could. [[MassOhCrap Everyone else in the vehicle promptly reaches for the seatbelts.]]

* In ''Literature/ThirtySecondsOverTokyo'' when the downed airmen are smuggled out of China, they are driven part way by a driver they call Charlie. He writes that in Charlie's mind, the brakes come third in importance. First comes the horn, then the steering wheel, and only then come the brakes.
* In the ''Literature/AubreyMaturin'' series of novels, Diana drives like this in her horse-drawn carriage. It's universally considered terrifying, even by Aubrey himself, although she is an exceptionally good driver. When the sailors try driving, [[HilarityEnsues on the other hand...]]

* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'':
** Granny Weatherwax believes it's everything else's job to move out of the way of her FlyingBroomstick. This philosophy extends to birds, other witches, trees, tall buildings, clacks towers and mountains. And, because this is [[TheDreaded Weatherwax]] we're talking about, ''they do''. Birds have quickly evolved to fly on their backs so they can watch out for her in the sky. It's something of a minor plot point when public perception of witches as {{Humanoid Abomination}}s has wavered, leading to her almost getting run down by a cart if she hadn't been tackled off the road in time, so used is she to being the one people go around.
** In ''Literature/{{Thud}}'', Vimes at one point [[FlashedBadgeHijack comandeers a carriage]] whose coachman has apparently spent his entire life waiting for a chance to do insane stunts. This initially works in Vime's favour, until he has to convince the coachman that no, a coach and four ''can't'' do a RampJump over the Ankh.
* In ''Literature/TheSecretsOfTheImmortalNicholasFlamel'' it seems to be a running gag that immortals can't drive properly. Billy the Kid, as you'd probably expect from a reckless outlaw, DrivesLikeCrazy. Machiavelli is more cautious, but not really more competent because the car he learned on only had three wheels. [[CoolOldLady Perenelle]] seems to be the exception; she ''likes'' taking trains and buses, but if she has to, she can drive a car or boat with no problem. [[HeroStoleMyBike Someone else's car or boat.]]
* In the ''Literature/ShadowOfTheTemplar'' series, this is Mike's ''job''.
* In ''Literature/KateDaniels'', this is one of the defining characteristics of Dali Harimau. As she has a shapeshifter's HealingFactor, she considers crashing to be merely inconvenient. Her passengers and nearby pedestrians disagree.
--> '''Jim''': You're legally blind, you can't pass the exam to get a license, and you drive like shit. You're a menace.
* Literature/VorkosiganSaga:

** In the later novel ''Literature/{{Memory}}'', it is revealed that Ivan and Miles had a reckless driving competition as teenagers and Miles won decisively. By flying an aircar down a winding narrow canyon at over 100 mph ''with his eyes closed''. When looking back on that period of his life as an older man, Miles concludes that only direct divine intervention kept him and Ivan alive long enough to reach adulthood.
* Augustus of ''Literature/TheFaultInOurStars'', due in part to his having a prosthetic right leg that prevents him from feeling the subtleties in pressure needed for non-jerky driving experiences. Hazel suspects that the examiner who licensed him (on the third try) only passed him as a "Cancer Perk".
** Also Alaska Young from ''Literature/LookingForAlaska'' by the same author. Though she doesn't have the prosthetic leg excuse.
* ''Literature/SixteenThirtyTwo'' has Hans Richter, whose approach to defensive driving can be summed up in the maxim "the best defense is a good offense". Or: "Nobody lives forever so why not get where you're going?" Then he discovers airplanes....
* John Bankes, in the ''Literature/FatherBrown'' story "The Man with Two Beards".
* Literature/PhryneFisher. Her maid and companion Dot takes to routinely screwing her eyes shut and keeping them shut whenever she has to drive somewhere with Phryne.
* In Creator/JohnWCampbell's story "Literature/TheBrainPirates", Terruns and all the residents of the tenth world's satellite come off as crazy drivers to the Terrestrial heroes. It's mentioned that their vehicles only go about twenty miles an hour, but thanks to the high gravity there's a lot of traction, and stopping can be very abrupt.
* In Creator/TanyaHuff's ''Literature/TheEnchantmentEmporium'', it alludes to Auntie Catherine driving like crazy because she charmed her car to act like something from NASCAR. Charlie also drives like crazy in one instance, but that was more of a result of driving said car during an impromptu interrogation from her to her passenger. The sequel ''The Wild Ways'' confirms that all the [[NeverMessWithGranny Aunties]] drive like crazy.
--> No Gale ever said ''driving like an old lady''. Old ladies in the Gale family drove like they owned the roads. And the other drivers. [[OverlyLongGag And the local police department.]] And the laws of physics.
* In the ''Literature/OctoberDaye'' series, Toby's fetch May is a ''terrible'' driver. In ''One Salt Sea'', Toby has to ask May to drive Toby's car somewhere, and May demands to know if she's a doppleganger, since the real Toby would never trust her with the car.
* Creator/MegCabot's ''Literature/OneEightHundredWhereRYou'' series has sixteen-year-old Jess Mastriani, who freely admits that she likes to go fast, which is part of why she's failed the test to get her driver's license more than once (though she does have a learner's permit). Her wildest ride comes in the fourth book, when she drives a hotwired truck through the snow and ice, jumping a six-foot ravine in the process. After actually hitting town, she commits "twenty-seven traffic violations" en route to the hospital, and crashes through the doors of the emergency room. One of her passengers, before going off to surgery (of an injury sustained before getting in the truck), calls her "the worst driver I have ever seen". She's mellowed out by the events of book 5 though.
* Uncle Parker from Helen Cresswell's Bagthorpe Saga drives so recklessly that in the first book the Danish ''au pair'' he's delivering to his brother-in-law's family shows up in tears.
* Ingrid Brady, the anorexic monk and government spook of the comic neo-noir ''Literature/GetBlank'', certainly qualifies. Not everyone will play chicken with a bunch of Satanist gunmen.
* Salt in the Literature/PennyParker series. Penny has her moments, too.
* In ''Literature/TheNekropolisArchives'', one of Matt's friends is a demon cabdriver named Lazlo. He regularly drives through crowds at full speed, with the expectation that anyone in his way will get out of it or get run over.
--> ''"Surprise me, Lazlo," I said, "and try not to drive like a maniac for a ch--" That's as far as I got before Lazlo slammed on the gas and I was thrown back against the seat.''
* ''Literature/TheMoteInGodsEye'': From a human standpoint, Motie Engineers drive like crazy. From the engineers' point of view, the only sensible way to drive is to make efficient use of every inch of roadway, and they've got the reflexes to do so.
* Creator/NgaioMarsh's Agatha Troy from the ''Inspector Alleyn Mysteries'' series tends to drive [[TheAllegedCar her van]] through the countryside in a manner that most of her (well-bred) passengers ask her if it would be all right to take over driving. Her TV incarnation, played by Belinda Lang is arguably worse, driving said van worth of the infamous Moose Test. Curiously, the only one not bothered by her driving is Alleyn himself.
* In ''Literature/AnotherNote'', Beyond Birthday boasts that he has ''never'' submitted to any person, or even to a traffic signal. The one time he ''is'' seen driving, the trope is justified, because the car he's driving is ''stolen.''
* In ''Literature/{{Persuasion}}'', Wentworth jokes at one point that he hopes his sister Sophie won't have to climb out of a ditch again, as his brother-in-law Admiral Croft is apparently not as good a driver as he is a sailor.
* Murugan, the crown prince of [[Literature/Island1962 Pala]] is such an unsafe driver that Will guesses the owner of the car he's driving [[LoveMakesYouStupid must be Murugan's lover]]. His guess is right.
* Brooklyn in ''Literature/KissTheGirl'' by Creator/MelissaBrayden is scary when driving around New York City.

“That,” Jobe said once he was outside and on firm ground, “was disturbing.”
* Haiji in ''Literature/RunWithTheWind'' initially has horrific driving skills, having the tendency to speed, suddenly stop, and swerve. Nobody on the team really wants to be in a car with him driving (especially not Prince who gets sick almost every time); this is unfortunate since he's the ''only'' member to have their licence and the team has no other efficient way to get to their track meets. He does make an effort to get better, which does not go unnoticed when he's driving everyone to their summer training base (novel) or driving around the Hakone Ekiden course (anime adaptation) with little trouble.
* ''Series/MurderSheWrote'': In the ExpandedUniverse novel ''Manhattans and Murder'', Jessica thinks to herself at one point that "Every taxi driver I'd had since arriving in New York drove as though he (in one case a she) was competing in the Indy 500." Subverted with the driver she's with at that point, who's driving slowly and carefully... just when Jessica needs to be somewhere in a hurry.
* In the ''Literature/PercyJacksonAndTheOlympians'' series, the Gray Sisters are a magical taxi service run by three old women that drive at a million miles an hour while simultaneously fighting over their one shared eyeball.
* In ''Literature/RedDwarf: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers'', Lister's favourite video game, due to its extreme danger and excitement, is ''Italian Driver''.
* Tommy from ''Literature/EvidenceOfThingsNotSeen'' used to drive his motorbike Ruby at extremely high speeds, then abruptly stop so he could look at something. His teacher thinks that if he hadn't gone missing, he would have been killed in an accident.
* In ''Literature/TheSecretLifeOfKittyGranger'', Tommy the mechanic complains that Verity's driving makes his job much harder.
* ''Literature/JaineAustenMysteries'':
** Kandi Toblowski, Jaine's best friend, is a very crazy driver.
** In ''The PMS Murder'', the victim, Marybeth Olsen, drives her car like a madwoman. Jaine figures she's going to get someone hurt like that. In fact, Marybeth has done so before... to [[spoiler:Doris' husband Glenn]].

* ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'':

* John Thorpe in ''Literature/NorthangerAbbey'' has a Regency version of a RiceBurner with his "curricle-hung gig." Though its performance doesn't live up to his boasting, it still terrifies Catherine and he ignores her requests to let her off.