History Creator / StuartAshen

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[[caption-width-right:300:(''boop beep, boop beep, beep boop'') Hello!]]

->''"[[HilariousInHindsight In March 2011]], all e-book readers will be recalled [[TakeThat after it is discovered that e-books are shit]]."''
-->-- '''Stuart Ashen''', ''Ashen's Tech Dump'', "God's Source Code"

Dr. Stuart Ashen (yes, a real doctor; of psychology, no less), or simply Dr. Ashen, is the premier source on Website/{{Youtube}} for reviews of {{Shoddy Knockoff Product}}s — primarily electronics. He also reviews equally horrible retro British games in a series called ''Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of'', and [[BileFascination most horrifically of all]], really cheap and/or really old processed food. He has also created two small series of comedy videos for the BBC Comedy Extra website, named ''Ashen's Tech Dump'' and ''Back Space''.

He co-starred in the sci-fi webseries/[[AlternateRealityGame ARG]] ''WebVideo/TheProxy'', which ran through March 8th-17th, 2012. Unfortunately, the contest aspect, [[ProductPlacement not-so-subtly sponsored by Alienware]], [[OfferVoidInNebraska was available only for those living in the UK.]] Regardless, it is available to watch worldwide [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iOfVgZYu28 here]].

His site is [[http://www.ashens.com here]], his Website/{{Youtube}} page [[http://www.youtube.com/user/ashens here]] (and his overflow channel is [[http://www.youtube.com/user/extraashens here]]), and he hosts some of his game reviews on Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/ashens here.]] He also served as the narrator for ''WebVideo/NinjaTheMissionForce'', duplicating the LargeHam British narrator of Godfrey Ho's films.

He has made a crowd-funded film called ''[[WebVideo/AshensAndTheQuestForTheGameChild The Quest For The Game Child]]'', in which he searches for the eponymous knockoff game system.
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!!The works of Dr. Ashen provide examples of:
* AccentuateTheNegative: Being ripoffs of other consoles and generally being really bad, [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct POP Stations]] inspire a lot of this in Ashen's reviews.
* AdaptationDyeJob: Chef Excellence the puppet has much darker skin than the model he's based on. Also, his hair is black, rather than the lighter tone on the box. The live-action version of him in ''[[AshensAndTheQuestForTheGameChild The Quest For The Game Child]]'' has lighter skin than the puppet version but still has darker hair than the original.
* AluminumChristmasTrees: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcniO4-CVdM Lampshaded]] with a bootleg action figure of [[MickFoley Dude Love]].
** Some non-British fans are surprised to find out that Noseybonk was a real character from a British children's television show and not just some horror creature he devised.
** Same thing with the Game Child. Yes, it was indeed a real knockoff of the Game Boy, although Stuart's description in ''The Quest for the Game Child'' is significantly exaggerated, particularly in regard to the fact that it was supposedly radioactive.
** During the [[BlindIdiotTranslation hilarious "violin history"]] on the box of the Chinese electronic violin, he wonders what the child of a violin and a piano would be. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlvXRPWdhOo Leonardo da Vinci's "Viola Organista" would probably have been a better answer than "accordion"]].
* AmbiguousSyntax: Mentioned in his review of ''Human Killing Machine'': is it about a human who is a killing machine, or a machine that kills humans?
* AndIMustScream: In the second episode of ''Ashen's Tech Dump'', he reviews three (thankfully fictional) games, one of which is known as ''Vinnie the Vole's Existential Nightmare'', which made for huge amounts of nightmare fuel when Ashen found out the game [[spoiler:consists entirely of the titular Vole wandering around a dark, plain square room. He then freezes with a terrified look on his face, then runs from side-to-side making a beeping noise supposed to be screaming, then runs into the corner, holds a gun to his head, closes his eyes and the screen goes black after a dull electronic ''pffut'' sound is heard]].
** [[spoiler:[[FailureIsTheOnlyOption YOUR ]][[YouBastard FAULT]]]]
** The game [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I7aGuOdtHo has been]] [[http://www.mediafire.com/?znmyfxnufmm defictionalized]], including a ZXSpectrum [[http://www.worldofspectrum.org/infoseekid.cgi?id=0024891 homebrew flavor.]]
** On his website's forum, Ashen [[http://s13.zetaboards.com/Birdbath/topic/6718661/1/ revealed]] a Facebook message he read on the Vinnie Vole fanpage:
-->"There should be a Vinnie board game. As soon as you open the box, there will be a slip of paper that kindly informs you that 'YOUR ACTIONS HAVE DAMNED VINNIE'."
** This inspired him to make up his own rules for a board game:
-->"You open the box and it is full of jewelery and nothing else. Ten minutes after opening it the Police knock down your door and accuse you of stealing it during a burglary you know nothing about, which resulted in the death of an old woman. In court they produce all sorts of false evidence and you end up being sentenced to 10 years. Six months into the sentence you wake up at 3am and see Vinnie silently staring at you from outside your cell door. Then it suddenly comes back to you — you DID commit the burglary, and it was you who pushed the old woman down the stairs. Vinnie points at you and screams and screams until you go mad. [[MoodWhiplash The winner is the player with]] [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking the most counters]]."
* AndThisIsFor: While crushing a toy Storm Trooper in a press, he turns the handle, every time listing off all of the sins of the StarWars franchise.
* AntiHumour: After biting into a foodstuff described as glutinous in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImZ5tums4zs&feature=plcp this video]], "If you were to look up the word 'glutinous' in a dictionary, you would find a written definition of the word, because that's how dictionaries work, they don't have pictures!"
* ARareSentence: From his easter tat special;
-->"I'm going to lick a spaniel! There we go, that's something you don't hear on Youtube very often."
* ArchEnemy: The autofocus. [[RunningGag Many, MANY times.]]
** The crowning example comes during his [[http://openpandora.org Open Pandora]] review, where the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=x2CA0UE6yRQ#t=403 camera]] ''focuses on a hair on its own lens''.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: His review of the Chintendo (or "Ken Sing Ton") Vii showed that it was a simplified NES in design with a Wii controller slapped on, 2D Playstation 1-esque graphics, weighed nothing even with a small lump of useless metal inside it, and had cost him financially and mentally very much. His reason for giving it a 0/10? No lanyard (when the box said there would be one included).
** From his review of the Playmobil Blind Bags:
--> '''Ashen:''' A young boy in a hoodie?! WHAT?! What are are doing here, mate? Look at all these freaks! There are vampires, executioners, and drunk people!
* AscendedMeme: After someone did a Gentlementlemen [[http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xmvgrt_fatabatarang-30-minutes_music#.UTam1TeyIZ4 remix]] of his Retieval Review, he was heard humming it in a later video and put an annotation link to it.
** There's also his spinning Stig stinger, which is a shoutout to a meme from his forum. (A rotating stig with a ska cover of 'Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr. Hitler')
* AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence: He thinks this is what will happen to Shane in the CampRock LCD game.
--> '''Instructions:''' Help Shane catch the notes to earn points and advance to higher levels!\\
'''Ashen:''' ...of existence?
* AuthorVocabularyCalendar: "Sprue," meaning those little pieces of plastic that come off the mold for a toy or something similar. He himself admits he has no idea how he came to know the word.
* AutoTune: His review of [[{{IOS}} LaDiDa]] has him turn the Auto Tune up as high as possible because of RuleOfFunny. [[HilarityEnsues Improvised hilarity does indeed ensue]].
* ArtifactTitle: By his own admission at the start of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpVcIBSsNSQ&feature=player_embedded this]] video, the Poundland Specials feature items that come from other places than Poundland and sometimes cost prices other than a pound.
* BadImpressionists: In "10 Reviews in 10 Minutes 2", his assistant Dan does an [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=dvlu57FGxuA#t=708 impression of Ashen's opening]] which Ashen himself says sounds more like Dame Maggie Smith from ''DowntonAbbey''.
* BaitAndSwitch: The second Girls' Toys review came out directly after ''WebVideo/TheProxy''. The first thing he says:
-->'''Ashen:''' Oh, you would ''not'' believe what happened to me over the last couple of weeks... [[IncrediblyLameFun I painted a spare room! It was crazy! You should've seen it.]]
** Also, the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW6T0g1Oahs 3DS Mii]] QR video. the first QR code does give you Noseybonk as promised. The subsequent codes... do ''not.'' [[spoiler:The one labelled "Excellence" gets you a Mii with a mouth where his eyes should be and a mole or single eye on his chin named "Cylox 7", the one labelled "Godmonster" gets you the Forever Alone face, and the one labelled "Ashens" gives a tall, slender woman with a backwards three on her face named "I AM 3".]]
* BBCQuarry: {{Discussed|Trope}} in his review of the ''Series/DoctorWho LCD Adventure Game'', where he explains that whenever the Doctor actually goes to a foreign planet in the seventies, it usually looks like a rock quarry in Wales -- the reason being it literally was, to his understanding.
* BerserkButton: Lanyards. They set him off because every piece of retro tat comes with one. "They're a waste of the planet. The campaign starts here." Incidentally, his way of getting rid of them seems to be [[HypocriticalHumor selling them with his DVD]].
** For the information of Americans who use "lanyard" to mean something you hang around your neck, he uses the word to mean a wrist-strap (so you don't drop the thing, think Wiimote).
** Forms of patronizing marketing also manages to piss Ashen off. He expressed his displeasure at the Flip Video's slogans plastered all over its packaging, and actually refused to properly review a set of Carpenter earbuds due to the pretentious-sounding description on the back of its box, especially with its [[IncrediblyLamePun incredibly lame would/wood pun]].
** He rage quits the Welcome Park app in his PSVita review after he felt patronized by it.
--> '''Narrator''': ''*Knock, Knock*'' There's someone at the door!
--> '''Ashen''': Someone at the do-'''OH FUCK OFF!''' I'm not five years old! ''([[RageQuit Rage Quits]])''.
** Don't give Max Hoffman cheese bags to Chef Excellence. Just don't.
* BigDamnMovie: ''WebVideo/AshensAndTheQuestForTheGameChild''
* BigShutUp: He gives one to the annoying nature screensaver towards the end of the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSO1KWLGd50 iPhone 5G review]] (jump to 29:25 for when he has his fill).
* BileFascination: His claim to fame is [[{{In-Universe}} a series of video reviews of]] [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct POP Stations]], toys and games, almost all of which are crap. Many of them are donations from viewers.
* BitingTheHandHumor: During the WLL review, [[spoiler: the Website/{{Youtube}} staff terminate the video when he mocks the partnership program.]]
* BlatantLies: A RunningGag of his. He denotes all sarcastic comments with "...he lied."
** "<Sarcasm>. Also, I am a crazy liar"
* BlindIdiotTranslation: Nearly every foreign product has manuals filled with this. It's so bad that Dr. Ashen is angry when it ''doesn't'' happen. Sometimes even the name is badly translated.
-->'''Ashen''': You've probably read the title of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6e6r-NOq5U this video]] and thought "[[FlatWhat Surely there can't be]] a POP Station called [[WordSaladTitle Retieval Mankind's Batman]]!"
** It's gotten to the point where he can read them as clearly as properly spoken English, and should probably count as being fluent in word salads.
* TheBoardGame: He has reviewed several board game adaptations of computer and arcade games.
* BodyHorror: The ''Film/FightClub'' action figures, which have limbs twisted around the wrong way and faces painted on wrongly. Apparently, it can spread.
** A knock off Superman figure has flesh tone blades growing out of its arms due to it being a repainted Batman figure.
** In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6GziB3ArVI Christmas Tat Special 2012]] he remarked "There's a fairly thick theme running through this year's special about Father Christmas, and BodyHorror." The items reviewed include a starfish-like creature with Santa Claus' screaming face twisted into a dog toy, a Santa Claus on a swing hanging from a rope attached to the inside of his skull and what appears to be a Cthulhu-Santa hybrid.
* BookSafe: In an early [=POPStation=] review he has a hollowed out science encyclopedia with a handgun inside it.
* BreakTheCutie: After ingesting some Chinese century egg and subsequently [[VomitDiscretionShot sicking his guts up]], Ashens is notably bitterer and swearier for the rest of the video. Given that it is by a fair margin the worst thing he's ever tasted, this is somewhat understandable.
* BrickJoke: In Poundland Special 3 (April 2010), he tries to test the Packbuster's claims with a LCD game based on ''Series/DoctorWho''. He also claimed that he will review it later, but it took until December 2011 for it to be reviewed. Turns out [[spoiler: it had fallen behind a wardrobe.]] The post for it on ashens.com also [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] its former WhatHappenedToTheMouse status.
** In one video, Ashens reviews an ET "furby", becoming increasingly scared of it throughout the video. He eventually removed all the casing. In this [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Asox-lFWPhQ#t=14m02s Poundland Special]], the ET thing can be seen in the background. He REALLY didn't like that thing!
** Another one that's been going for a while - a single frame of a bald, bearded man popping up in several videos as a RunningGag (see SubliminalSeduction below). It finally comes to a head in ''Quest for the Game Child'': [[spoiler:it's the actor who plays one of the prisoners that beats up Nemesis during the credits]].
* BriefAccentImitation: Has taken to putting on a JohnMajor-esque "boring nerd" voice when reading out bits of instruction labels, especially those relating to things like safety disclaimers.
* BritishTeeth: He makes fun of this trope in his livestream [=Q&A=]. He actually has really nice teeth.
-->*reading question* "Is it true that British people have bad teeth?" ... I don't know. *feels teeth* ... OW! On no it's true!
* BrokeTheRatingScale: In playing the ''Turbo'' boardgame with GuruLarry, he manages to come in third place... out of two people playing.
* BuffySpeak: From his Barcode Battler review after he realised the device needed new batteries.
-->"This thing eats batteries like [[ShapedLikeItself an enormous battery-eating thing]]."
** In his Deadly 60 blind bag review:
-->"If the item pleases me, it ascends to the Shelf of Interesting Items. If not, it burns in the fires of (beat) a fire."
* CallBack: During his first "Video Game Tat" special, Stuart knocks a package onto the sofa, addressed to a "Tom Bishop" starting, [[WebVideo/TheProxy well, you know]]. During the next special, two more letters fall from the sofa, both addressed to a "Tom Bishop". Stuart [[spoiler:[[RapidFireNo quickly dismisses both]].]] Returns again in the third special, this time labeled "Running Gag".
* CatapultNightmare: At the beginning of his "Fortress Guardian" review.
* CatchPhrase: Occasionally teases about making one up, but always decides against it. Two options were "Stay Fresh, Cheese Bags!" and "Thumbs up to Dingoo!"
** "Let's see what lurks inside."
** "[[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud Rip! Tear! Rend!]]" in a dull monotone when unwrapping things.
** "Marvellous."
** "[[SarcasmMode Well done, lads.]]"
** "[[SarcasmMode He lied.]]"
*** Another variant of that is, "Oh, wait. I lied."
*** Another is "He lied through his teeth."
** Early in a review he will make a CaptainObvious comment along the lines of "It's a (thing)" or "It's got a (thing)" in a pained, Dalek-like voice.
** A skeptical "Hmmmmm" after he reads a line of BlatantLies product description.
** Making a *sniff* noise to punctuate how ridiculous something is.
** "Nought to three sad onions."
** "Not entirely convinced by this..." (when talking about a product)
** "I don't know, and you know what? I don't care."
** Any videos to do with Chef Excellence will always have "An excellent X" somewhere, be it the video itself, the title or description.
** "We may never know or care."
** "Y'know, just like the [real counterpart of the ShoddyKnockoffProduct] doesn't."
** "Mmmmm, cheap and nasty."
** "It's just like ________, only the same/rubbish."
** "Dearie me."
** "...Fair enough", usually after reading out some incomprehensible TranslationTrainwreck instructions.
** "Hello!" to the point where he has it [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqGOij9Ybo8&t=0m46s engraved on the back of his iPad.]]
** "It's Poundland Special time again!"
** "Wow, Everything a growing boy needs!" Whenever he reads a long list of features written on a product's packaging.
** "Blimey, crikey, O'Riley" has been popping up quite a bit lately.
** "[[BrutalHonesty To be brutally honest...]]"
* CelebrityResemblance: He has a passing resemblence to a bearded JohnSimm, to the point where the Ashens Action Figure was a modified version of the Master from the new series of ''Series/DoctorWho'' (played by Simm)
** Many have noted his resemblance to Creator/SimonPegg, especially when paired with [[GuruLarryAndWez Guru Larry]], who--also noted by many--acts as Ashen's [[Film/ShaunOfTheDead Nick]] [[Film/HotFuzz Frost]].
** The Creator/SimonPegg resemblance was visually lampshaded in "An Excellent Newsflash".
** At the beginning of the live stream Q & A:
--> '''Ashens:''' ... and apparently I look like Simon Pegg... [[SarcasmMode well that's the first time I've heard that!]] '''TODAY.'''
* ChristmasSpecial: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfXEnjI4vTk Christmas Tat 1 (2008)]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATZPvDhHX3I 2 (2009)]], and the Christmas Specials for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsjQpxJU7hM&feature=feedu 2010]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbDeW5PwqRU 2011]], and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6GziB3ArVI 2012]].
* ComicallyMissingThePoint:
** During his review of Chef Excellence's "Stay Fresh System" bread bags, Ashen reads on the box that the bread bags do not require a seal, causing him to think the box is referring to the aquatic mammal.
** When reviewing the Ixo Vino wine cork attatchment, he uses it on a cardboard Tesco Value wine carton and declares the product useless before bringing in a proper bottle of San Lorenzo.
** While reviewing a ''Bella Sara'' blindbag (some AllGirlsLikePonies type series), Ashens reads the slogan "Journey into a magical world of horses" on the bag
--> I think we all know what franchise they are trying to cash in on: ''ComicBook/TheAvengers''.
* ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontWatch: {{In-universe}}, in the 2012 Halloween special the Silver Skull reviews a number of horror films sold in Poundland despite not having seen any of them.
* {{Corpsing}}: In the iPhone 5G review, he dissolves into a fit of uncontrollable laughter after discovering an ancient-style rabbit ear antenna on the phone.
** He also does this when he first presents the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcFQF3PZFRk Mobile Phone Handset]] from Signalex, due to the product's design asthetics being TwoDecadesBehind. He stated that he had to redo the intro 14 times to get it right, because he couldn't stop laughing. He still has some trouble in the video itself.
** It happens yet again in his review of ''[=LaDiDa=]'' after playing back the first song he records.
** He also does it during his Poundland Clearance Special while reviewing a stack of random Green Lantern action figures due to some of the designs.
** Happens twice in his knockoff [[Franchise/MastersOfTheUniverse He-Man]] action figures review at the sight of two ridiculous looking figures.
** He actually had to restart the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adkWiJA9xR0 Violin "Wonderful Sound Strange Shape"]] review due to the [[BlindIdiotTranslation Engrish]] versions of famous violin makers' names (such as "Anglicising" Antonio Stradivari as "Antonio Stella bottom tile" and Giuseppe Guarneri as "ji plug pu melon nai") making him laugh so hard he couldn't continue.
* CouchGag: The Blind Bag episode(s) intro replaces the googly eyes with a paper bag over Ashens' head along with him commenting "I can see perfectly!"
** POPStation reviews have a POPStation whizzing around his head.
** Reviews of edibles typically have Ashens vomiting in the intro.
** Christmas specials have Ashens in a Santa hat and a Christmasy version of the jingle.
** Poundland specials add the word "Cheapo!" and Ashens' eyes being replaced with pound coins.
** A review of the [[http://youtu.be/wj3Q4h4fQ2o Dingoo A320]] console has a rather [[DeathMetal unique intro]].
* CreepyDoll: Shows up in the "Poundland Girls' Toys Special". His reaction? KillItWithFire.
* CreepyUncle: Uncle Stories.
* CurseCutShort: Chef Excellence at the end of "An Excellent Newsflash".
* CutenessProximity: Whenever he brings one of his pets onto the show, he tends to act especially cute with them, in a weird way--such as looking for his dog, Oscar ("Where's Oscar-dog? ''There he is!'') so he can [[PokeThePoodle poke him]], or asking his guinea pig if he's going to [[ItMakesSenseInContext going to turn into a god-monster.]] "Yeees! Are you going to go on a rampage? Yeees!"
* CuttingTheKnot: Almost literally. He uses a pair of bolt cutters on a metal puzzle to untangle it.
* DeadpanSnarker: He doesn't hold anything back against the "products" he reviews. Emphasis on the "Deadpan," too, as he's usually extremely calm-voiced during his inferior product reviews. Also accentuates his skill with Precision F-Strikes.
* DeclarativeFinger: Ashens does it often, especially since his own hands get the majority of the screentime.
* {{Deconstruction}}: ''Realism Fighter'', from Episode 2 of ''Ashen's Tech Dump''.
* DrinkingGame: Dr. Ashen gives one to the viewer in the description of the Barcode Battler video.
-->'''Ashen''': Take a shot every time I say "Right", and "...or something". Alcohol poisoning may ensue.
* DroppedABridgeOnHim: A mild example. In the end of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6e6r-NOq5U POP Station Watch 6]], Chef Excellence makes an appearance as a puppet and Stuart asks him how he is now that he was replaced on the Stay Fresh line. They parted on sour terms.
** The Chef Excellence puppet did eventually reappear--a better example is the fate of Quincy, the caterpillar who sings obscure Beatles songs.
** And now Chef Excellence, this time played by a regular actor instead of appearing as a puppet, is scheduled to appear in Ashen's movie. Dan Tomlinson is playing the Chef.
* DualWielding: He destroys a pair of shoddy headphones with dual-wielded hammers.
** He also brandishes the same two hammers and lampshades the trope before destroying a cheap plastic dinosaur skeleton. However the dinosaur was destroyed after one hit so he ended up only using one of the hammers, much to his disappointment.
* DudeNotFunny: By his own account, he's invoked this again and again [[spoiler:and has been keeping track with a checklist]]. This is mostly concerning how people didn't get jokes such as his repeated avoidance of copyright infringement (Considering the youtube community's troubled history with copyright), or his appearance on The Node.
** In his review of the POP Station ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XNJM_Kamyg Laden Vs USA]]'', he was clearly beside himself that such an exploitative product exists and is just another POP Station in no way distinguished from the dozens he had reviewed already.
** Once lampshaded by making a joke about Polish people in his Vita review and remarking "Polish people watching are now going 'hmm' and turning this off; sorry!"
* EastAnglia: Ashen is from there and often mentions Norwich in his reviews.
* EasterEgg: The strange sound during when he supposedly fell asleep during his R-Zone review. By playing it on a spectrogram, it reveals a picture of [[spoiler:Noseybonk]]. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbyk2Ys9CNw Proof here.]]
** On his Guitar Fever review, if you record the screech and play it on a ZX spectrum emulator you get a special message! (Volume warning!) [[spoiler:[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXqxc5w3OwI SPLINK!]]]]
* EatThat: One of his most popular bits is consuming various dubious edibles on camera, and it's one of his most requested ones as well, since his reactions are generally rather dramatic. Favorites include him eating a giant gummi-candy foot, the terrifying "anti-pizza," and generic boxed wine.
** His Easter 2012 contains possibly the two extremes of all the "Eat That"s he's ever done: First, there was a "cream egg" so vile, it caused an immediate SpitTake (for which he later apologized, it being rather unprofessional), and a marshmallow bunny that, while it looked horrifying (its eyes were misaligned and it had a random hole in its forehead), he had to admit actually tasted pretty good.
** And then came the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImZ5tums4zs&feature=g-all-u Chinese Delicacy Special]], in which he had a [[ForeignQueasine Thousand Year egg]], among other things. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity]] and {{Squick}} ensues.
** Averted in a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9URHJNWm3A short video]] where he opens a bag of jelly babies that was [[spoiler:17 years old. The contents had all turned rock hard and were colored like ash. The inside of the babies looked like it had rotted. [[CaptainObvious He doesn't eat it, of course]], although a number of commentators theorised they would actually be safe to eat]].
** Whilst reviewing some old packs of unopened GarbagePailKids stickers from the mid-1980s, he eats the free stick of gum from one of the packets. It turns to "rotting dust" in his mouth, and he provides a picture of the mixture of tiny bits of bubblegum and saliva he spat out.
-->'''Ashens''': If we've learnt something here today, it's "don't stick 25-year-old bubblegum in your mouth." Whatever makes it bubblegum has long since passed into the ether.
** He actually nibbled at possibly the ultimate in expired food--a ''forty-five'' year-old military ration. The crackers surprisingly weren't that bad. The candy circle on the other hand...
** {{Defied}} in TheStinger of his "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibRDZaVGVWY Worldwide Food" special]] with Surströmming, a Swedish "[[ForeignQueasine delicacy]]" made from rotten fish. He states he will '''never''' eat any, no matter how much he is sent, citing a story about a man who was kicked out of his apartment for opening a can and a friend who had to throw away their carpet and pants after spilling the juice from some on them.
* EldritchAbomination: Bort Sompson.
** Referenced in regards to a ''Film/FightClub'' ripoff action figure whose face has been printed wrongly.
** Also used when talking about a doll from Poundland. After [[KillItWithFire burning it]], of course.
** He used the term again when talking about the Bridesmaid doll in the second Poundland Girl's Toys Special. He said it went beyond "Eldritch abomination" and into "harbinger of the apocalypse" levels.
** Also, the Interactive E.T. is ''worse'' than anything Lovecraft could think of.
* EldritchLocation: The ice field from the ''Turbo'' board game is depicted as such.
* {{Engrish}}: If the packaging copy isn't quite written correctly, Ashens will delightfully read it aloud.
* EpicFail: His attempts at building a Christmas cracker from a kit [[spoiler:set the sofa on fire and reduced him to a gibbering wreck. And that's ''before'' he set off all the gunpowder]].
** In his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzvEUnwG5T4 review/playthrough]] of the board game ''Turbo'' with [[GuruLarryAndWez Guru Larry]], he somehow came in ''third''.
* EvenTheRatsWontTouchIt: TheStinger for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IWwM26OxiM Poundland Food Special]] shows his dog refusing to touch the "pizza" "snack".
* EveryoneHasStandards: He refuses to burn Lego products or knock off products that are very similar to Lego. Even if he's very displeased by it, as seen in his review miniseries on the Lego StarWars Advent calendar.
** OOCIsSeriousBusiness: Despite his policies, he's so disgusted by the Mega Bloks WorldOfWarcraft figures that he burns them anyway.
* EvilGenius: According to Guru Larry and Wez, at least.
* EvilLaugh: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=yoorFbFz3AU#t=609 He uses one to let you know that he may phone you.]]
* EvolvingCredits: His standard intro has big googly eyes appear on his logo as he says a cheery "Hello!" For Poundland specials, instead pound coins appear where his eyes should be and he says 'cheapo!' For "Popstation Watch" a police siren plays while a Popstation orbits his logo's head and the eyes follow it[[note]]The first Popstation Watch video used a version of the opening theme to the BBC program ''Crimewatch'' in place of the sirens, however this was presumably dropped for copyright reasons.[[/note]].
** And then there's the times he's changed it up by replacing the googly eyes with [[spoiler: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj3Q4h4fQ2o headbanging with heavy metal]], a more high-definition version of the popstation watch opening, and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myTMMO9Clz8& CELERY!]]]].
-->'''Ashen:''' ''"Well, that was different. Anyway, hello!"''
** The Poundland Food Special has him barfing in addition to his pound coin eyes. Given the nature of the "food" he's about to eat, it's basically foreshadowing what's to come.
** The 2012 Easter Special replaced "Hello!" with a very unenthusiastic "Easter." It also placed the Easter Bunny into the scene and omitted the googly eyes.
*** For 2013, he did the same but with a distorted electronic version of the same recorded voice.
** Christmas Specials have snow in the title card and a Christmasy tune playing followed by Ashen spouting: "Hello-ho-ho!"
** The move of Blind Bag items from the extras channel to the main channel has been accompanied by a new title card replacing the eyes with a paper bag pulled over the logo's head, along with a slightly annoyed-sounding [[TheGreatEscape "I can see perfectly!"]]
** In both a portion of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aCeg-EbOAI "Tomy Racing Turbo Review"]] (starting at 7:29) and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adkWiJA9xR0 "Everything Is Always Fine: Violin"]], his head gets replaced by a spring while a bicycle horn toots and the word "FAIL" in the Impact Font pops up in the bottom-right corner, due to being failed reviews (one being a showcase of items that don't lend themselves well into Ashen's reviews and the other being a [[HilariousOuttakes blooper]] video).
** His review of Matchbox Linkits had unique opening and closing credits with [[UnitConfusion "a dash of]] [[TheEighties Eighties."]]
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: ''Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of''
* EyeScream: When reviewing a knock-off Darth Vader action figure with a light-up lightsaber, Ashen [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=EoHr5BQkNVA#t=721 accidentally shines the light in his eye]] when pressing the button before putting in the lightsaber. He does not take it well.
* FacePalm: His [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HFeNYx1kr0 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen review]].
* FanNickname: "Bort Sompson" for the nightmare-inducing Not Bart Simpson from the Huge Screen V2 review.
** He also comes up with nicknames for all the ''Series/DoctorWho'' villains during his review of the ''Doctor Who'' LCD Adventure Game.
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* FilkSong: One of the entries to the non-100th video contest was a four-track album called "[[http://jamiesoar.bandcamp.com/album/recorded-tat Recorded Tat]]", which includes theme songs for ''City Fighter'' and ''BMX Ninja''.
* FollowTheLeader: After Dr. Ashen's videos increased in popularity, a number of "Ashens tribute" review videos in his style have appeared throughout [=YouTube=]. The video [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJZggpiithU Ultra-Cheap Action Figures Review]] has a clip of Creator/HarryPartridge doing an impression of him included in the end.
** In a VLOG made by several members of Channel Awesome for Magfest, purely by coincidence they ended up filming themselves in the back of a car while finding bits of plastic tat, holding them in front of the camera and talking about them: they ended up dubbing it "[[{{Thememobile}} The Ashens Car]]".
** It's unknown if it's done intentionally but much of the review format and snark of Yahtzee's ''Zero Punctuation'' review series seems quite similar to ''Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of''
* ForeignQueasine: The feature of the "Chinese Delicacy Special". Particularly the Century Egg.
** Averted in the "Worlwide Food Special", where at the end he proclaims that he will never try Surströmming due to all of the horror stories he's heard about its incredibly strong smell, one of which came from his friend.
* FreezeFrameBonus: Stuart enjoys slipping these into his videos. For example, [[http://i.imgur.com/cGc2D73.png this]] image appears in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLg1Wtl9ffQ Apple Newton review]] (at roughly 3:05.)
* FreudianSlip: Both invoked and lampshaded in his Game King review, upon stating Game Boy games would not work on it.
-->"Oh... I don't know what it is with you people! You're obsessed with sticking things in the wrong slot... hm. Very Freudian."
** Lampshaded in his Game.Com review, when he accidentally gives away his opinion on the Batman and Robin game before showing it.
** In his live stream [=Q&A=] when he's about to tell a story: "Years ago when I worked at an orifice, sorry ''office''..."
* FridgeLogic: [[invoked]]While reading [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYwLGYVrUn4 a letter from Peter Popoff]]:
-->"So {{God}} wants 25 pounds... God, the omnipotent, omniscient creator-force behind everything in existence, needs 25 quid. ''({{beat}})'' Maybe he can't meet his mobile bill this month."
* FromBadToWorse: Frequent in his review of terrible tech.
* FunWithAcronyms: The company behind some of the Royal Wedding Tat had the unfortunate acronym [[AllPeriodsArePMS PMS]].
** Another one is a company called Tronic Ace Technology Ltd. (TAT)
* FunWithSubtitles: The videos with subtitles sometimes describe his actions pejoratively. [[spoiler:MOON MEN]]
* GenreSavvy: When he is about to play "Apache" in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R1DoxviIKY PSP Station LTPS Handy Game]] review.
-->'''Ashen:''' It won't be Native Americans, it'll be helicopters, I'll bet ya.
* GilliganCut: After he had opened a package of promotional ''X-Factor'' instruments (a whistle, a recorder, and a tambourine), he examines the quality of the instruments, then says "I can't see myself making a musical triptych with these". Cut to exactly that.
* AGoodNameForARockBand: In his "Video Game Tat" video, He holds up a video game case that would reveal an activation code if he hadn't put a fake LensFlare on top of it, and annotates on video: "'Obscured by Fake Lens Flare' would be a good name for a prog rock band."
** From his Matchbox Linkits video: he mentions a figure with undefined limbs as "bumbling along on stumps" which he later adds is also the name of "a really good folk album."
* GunsAkimbo: Mentioned by name when he gives two guns to a knock-off LEGO Star Wars figure and has it dual-wield them.
* HarmlessVillain: The Silver Skull, as Stuart points out in his TV Tropes checklist. ''Hideously'' averted for Noseybonk, however.
* HilariousOuttakes: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adkWiJA9xR0 "Everything Is Always Fine: Violin"]] is one for his review of the Violin toy. He completely ''[[SarcasmFailure loses it]]'' upon reading the TranslationTrainwreck rendition of famous violin player names. In the end, he had cut the video short because he couldn't continue.
* HypocriticalHumor: After the segment where Creator/HarryPartridge does a small review in Ashen's style in the "Ultra-Cheap Action Figures" video.
-->'''Ashen''': People appearing in my own videos, trying to steal my shtick... Bet [[JeepersMedia Mike Mozart]] doesn't have to put up with this.
* IncrediblyLamePun:
** As a reference to the ''La Di Dah'' iPhone app's autotune effect, as he was saving his recording to share it, he wondered, "Can I send it to Cher"? Very subtle, but terrible, nonetheless.
** The jokes in the Christmas crackers are almost always one of these.
-->'''Ashen''':(reading from joke) "What do hedgehogs have for for lunch? Prickled onions!" What do the people who write these jokes deserve? A knife in the throat!
** "It looks like a fat Batarang: a Fatarang! Hoohoo! ...Sorry."
* INeedAFreakingDrink / ThisIsGonnaSuck: After finding out that one of the items he was reviewing was yet another [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct POP Station]] repackaging, he laments on it:
-->'''Ashen''': Oh, dear... [[{{Understatement}} I'm not looking forward to turning this on.]]\\
(''After getting the packaging over and done with'') Right, I'm going to go have a stiff drink or twenty, then I shall return.
** In the ninth POP Station Watch, he actually has a cheap bottle of gin at the ready on the couch before going over the game.
** When he starts to review Williams Arcade Classics for the Game.com, he gathers all of the booze in the house to prepare himself for seeing the system ruin all of the classic games.
** Upon cracking open the Chinese delicacy century egg. His apprehension at having to eat it is immediately obvious even without him saying a word.
* IntentionallyAwkwardTitle: Two energy drink brands - "Boobee" and "Pussy".
* ItsPersonal: The games featured in ''Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of'' are mostly ones which Ashen bought as a child and still feels angry about wasting money on.
* ItMakesSenseInContext: Ashens drinking from a "Boobee"
** "Squishy boobee! Sticky boobee!"
* JumpCut: Lampshaded.
* JumpScare: He reacts to [[JumpCut jump cuts]] in a similar startled way as a RunningGag.
** A mild one occurs in his 2012 easter special involving [[spoiler:his SlasherSmile-laden face affixed to [[NightmareRetardant an image of a pink easter bunny]] accompanied by a ScareChord]].
** [[spoiler:The Bruce Forsyth mask]] as TheStinger to [[spoiler:the "Bag of Crap" video]].
* KillItWithFire: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxACqE-puLY&t=3m45s His reaction]] to an incredibly scary looking doll.
** He seems to have a blowtorch now, as he's "killed" a bad-looking [[Franchise/HarryPotter Draco Malfoy]] figure, an easter chick decoration, a My Little Pony fake, and a WesternAnimation/ToyStory Woody Gachapon toy with it, along with anything else from a blind bag that doesn't make it onto the Shelf of Interesting Items or into the Drawer of Purgatory.
* KilledMidSentence: Sort of. In the Nanodots Review video, at the end after the credits screen, he's messing about with them and using a closeup. "Man, I really hope the magnetic fields from this aren't damaging my camco-*VIDEO ENDS*"
* LampshadedTheObscureReference: He has a recurring segment in his reviews, "Quincy: a caterpillar that sings obscure Beatles Songs"
** After he parodies a quote from ''Film/TheRoom'' he says: "Let's begin a video by quoting an obscure film that most people watching haven't seen!"
* LeFilmArtistique: The review of the Valentine's Day Frying Pan that Chef Excellence made in the Valentine's Day Tat video.
--> '''Ashen''': I knew I shouldn't have taken him to see ''TheArtist''.
* LetsPlay: His general approach towards video game ripoffs.
* LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain: His final verdict on ''Renegade III''.
** Stated word-for-word in the description of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XNJM_Kamyg Laden VS USA]].
* LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand: He used an 8-bit rendition of God Save The Queen in two videos; it broke down on its second use in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4rqVauL2eI Royal Wedding Tat Review]].
** The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3EU1W4mZLc Doctor Who LCD Adventure Game review]] opens with a DIY re-creation of the classic series intro that trails off in the last few seconds.
* LimitedSpecialCollectorsUltimateEdition: Has reviewed several limited editions of video games and the tat that comes with them.
* LimitedWardrobe: When he films himself, he almost always is wearing a suit with his trademark red tie.
* LoadsAndLoadsOfLoading: Combined with TheElevatorFromIpanema on a few occasions.
** ''Thinking about it...thinking about it...thinking about it...''
* LoopholeAbuse: Invoked; an art contest he held had, among its guidelines, "no digital entries". So a contestant mailed him a cassette tape.
* {{Machinima}}: One was made in GarrysMod for the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIRTVkan_jA Game King showcase]].
* MarshmallowDream: Subverted in his recording on the JVC Marshmallow headset:
-->"Once, I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my wife was missing and ''everything was covered in blood!"''
* MascotWithAttitude: At one point he said that Chef Excellence's Stay Fresh Cheese Bags sounded like the sign-off of an Eighties mascot — "Stay fresh, cheesebags!"
* MatryoshkaObject: Lamshaded in his Playstation 4 unboxing video, referring to the packaging as going "Russian doll on us."
* TheMeanBrit: Imagine [[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]], [[LighterAndSofter but about ten times less mean and five times slower]]. He's certainly not afraid of snarking at all the stupid things the thing he's reviewing got wrong.
* MediumAwareness: He notes that the Silver Skull is unlikely to make good on his threat to return because "I get bored of recurring characters very quickly".
* {{Metaphorgotten}}: Sometimes with "If you'd do X" hyperboles, he pulls a BaitAndSwitch and instead states what would realistically happen in that situation.
-->(Referring to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=2SK7FRDWGIw#t=17 a broken solar-powered toy car]]) "You could put it on the surface of the sun, and it would melt."
* MostAnnoyingSound: He's declared [[invoked]] this on a number of things. The MIDI files on Guitar Fever. The Game Over noise of Outrun knockoff, which was originally a classic in the original. Also, U2.
** A number of Popstations start up with an awful MIDI version of the Ode to Joy, which he has dubbed the "Ode to Pain."
** The R-Zone, despite actually being made by a (somewhat) reputable company in Tiger Electronics, was discovered to have music far more unbearable than any of the Popstations he reviewed. The two ''StarWars'' games he tried out were just barely tolerable, but music in the system's version of ''VirtuaFighter'' was likened to "a giant spider running across a keyboard."
** The pointless nature noises the [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct iPhone 5G's]] screensaver constantly made.
--> '''Stuart:''' Have you got a frog in your pocket, or have you bought one of those stupid phones? (later on) '''[[CriticalAnnoyance WILL YOU SHUT]]''' '''''[[CriticalAnnoyance UP]]'''''?!
* MrFanservice: Dr. Ashen himself. Anyone?
** [[http://yfrog.com/h06qxgtj THOSE EYES.]]
** Especially in this [[http://yfrog.com/ea575cj picture.]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18A8QzLYCBM YES. ]]
* NightmareFace: One particular item he comes across is [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/forsyth_mask_5117.jpg a Bruce Forsyth mask with a disturbingly blank expression on his face.]] [[spoiler:He then exploits this in the post-logo JumpScare.]]
* NightmareRetardant: He [[invoked]] showed 5 examples as he hosts a website showing old trailers. Examples include puppets, a guy in a wetsuit, and a guy wearing a chicken mask.
* NintendoHard: [[http://youtu.be/Pt5JuHMBvEw?t=3m59s BlockBuster]] from the MB Games Microvision. It's a simple BreakOut clone, except with a ball that moves faster than SonicTheHedgehog on steroids.
* NoAnimalsWereHarmed: from the [[http://homepage.ntlworld.com/ashen1/ashen/menu/build/intro.htm no-money computer building guide]]:
--> No rabbits were harmed in the making of this tutorial, although I did kick the shit out of a giraffe. The long necked, snooty bastard.
* NoodleIncident: "I haven't been this bored since I was trapped in a room with a potato."
** "I met a man with a metal ball once..."
* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: In the Human Killing Machine review, when it's revealed that once you defeat Igor, you must fight his dog, who is named Shepski.
** Does this twice in his Star Wars figure review: once when he mentions that two of Chewbacca's family members are [[Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial Itchy and Lumpy]]; and again when he brings up Chewbacca taking up a disguise as a bounty hunter in the ShadowsOfTheEmpire saga.
* OhCrap: Done by Chef Excellence in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEL89oQpIKs this video]], with slightly stronger language.
** Again with "[[PrecisionFStrike slightly]]" stronger language when Stuart tries to prepare beer bread with his friend, when he suddenly [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Sfz9qlkzF40&t=1172 realises what he left in the oven]].
* OnlyKnownByInitials: "CS", one of the games featured in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R1DoxviIKY PSP Station LTPS Handy Game]] review.
* OverlyLongGag: The "Charity Video" At the end of the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9FFuHQtIiE POP Station Watch 4: Fake PSP v2 Review.]]
* OverlyNarrowSuperlative:
** "Well, I've never been a particular fan of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urgKKYs8uJU dehydrated mashed potato]] that you bring back to life with hot water."
** He sometimes says something like "If you ever need X, this will do the job." at the end of a video, X being something rather specific and unlikely. In the aforementioned mashed potato review, he lampshades this:
-->"If that ''is'' your situation, you should probably take a long hard look at your life and wonder what the fuck you did wrong."
** In the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pokrK6NXFXM Hunger Breaks Chicken Tikka]] video, he recommends the food to anyone who accidentally kidnapped Creator/LiamNeeson's mother, and has Liam Neeson threatening to shoot them in the face if they don't eat one.
* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: One of his guests revealed the password to God's source code. It's [[spoiler:Password]].
* PercussiveMaintenance: Ashen invokes this, [[LampshadeHanging as well as stating the trope name]], trying to get the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aCeg-EbOAI Tomy Racing Turbo]] to work.
* PetPeeveTrope: FourPointScale. [[invoked]]
-->"Overall, I give [Karting Grand Prix] 73%. Because I'm a fucking idiot."
* {{Plagiarism}}: A common feature of [=PopStations=] is the stolen artwork from other games on the packaging, particularly from ''KingOfFighters'' and ''StreetFighter''. Most bizarrely, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6e6r-NOq5U PopStation Watch 6]] rips ''Film/BatmanAndRobin'' with the most nonsensical BlindIdiotTranslation to date.
-->(''after hearing the intro to the '''SuperMarioBros''' theme in '''Football Ground/[[BlindIdiotTranslation Gbound]] of Legend''''') "Wow, they're even ripping off the music these days."
* PowerPerversionPotential: In the ''Ashen's Tech Dump'' episode "God's Source Code", Ashen interviews a man who found the password to access the universe's source code, [[RealityWarper essentially allowing him to alter reality]] with his laptop computer. He uses this power to give Ashen breasts and create a booty party. He ends up crashing the universe and rebooting it, but types "Rebooty" instead of "Reboot", so now the entire universe is one big booty party.
* PrecisionFStrike: His review of games based on ''Series/TheATeam'' had him swear a few times. He expressed surprise at viewers' shock at his language, not realizing that this was the first time he did so. He uses profanity slightly more liberally now, but keeps it to a minimum.
** He did it again in his Amstrad Penpad review.
** And again in the StarWars Action Figures episode, albeit on accident after a crappy Darth Vader toy [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoHr5BQkNVA#t=12m02s shined a bright LED in his eye]]. Borders on an AtomicFBomb.
-->"''ARGH! Fucking...god DAMMIT!''"
** On his new "Extra Ashens" channel, he did this to show his contempt for Peter Popoff.
-->'''Popoff:''' In Jesus' name, as God's servant of divine increase and WEALTH TRANSFER, ''I feel led to ask you to sow a SEED of £25.00, this is the SEED God will use to break the yoke of DEBT bondage and set your HARVEST in motion.''\\
'''Ashen:''' You astonishingly vile fuck.
** In his headset/headphones review, after reading some [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkxtWPs2iV4#t=04m47m incredibly gushy pun-filled stuff on the back of the box of one of them]].
-->" You know what? Fuck you, and fuck your headphones!"
** In his "Recording Microscopes" video:
-->"Science! I fucking love me some science!"
** In his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfz9qlkzF40 "Stupidly Long Crap Food Special,"]] he lets one off when he suddenly remembers that [[spoiler: a VideoGame/DoubleDragon arcade board]] was still in the oven and he had thought that they turned the oven on.
* PokeThePoodle: Ashens does this while checking off a list of tropes on this very page.
* PoorlyDisguisedPilot: The Illegal Activity Special.
* PressStartToGameOver: {{Discussed|Trope}} in his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-RCHyWcfIU "Quickest Game Overs"]] video [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA3WogFaeFQ and its followup]].
* {{Pyromaniac}}: Ashen has definitely become one since getting hold of a blowtorch.
* RantInducingSlight: He reacts to most of the Newton's handwriting recognition screw-ups with a mixture of amusement and occasional mild irritation, but he gets ''really'' annoyed when he writes in his home town of Norwich, and the Newton somehow interprets it as "Worcester."
* RatingsStunt: In his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE8c3E_VZmY review]] of LimitedSpecialCollectorsUltimateEdition video games, while reviewing the contents of ''[[VideoGame/SoulSeries SoulCalibur 5]]''[='=]s packaging, an [[MacGuffin envelope addressed to Tom Bishop]] falls into view. After discussing Bishop's disappearance, he formulates a self-described "desperate plan to bring in extra viewers ([[LampshadeHanging yeah, I said it]])": if Bishop does not pick it up in a week, Ashen will break the law by opening the parcel in his next video, and review whatever is inside. This, of course, leads into the events of ''WebVideo/TheProxy''...
* RealityWarper: His helmet in the second quickest game overs video.
* RecursiveReality: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1H9bli79to At Jurnet's Bar in Norwich, if you remove one of the bricks in a wall, you'll see a figure of a guy removing a brick from a smaller version of the same wall]].
** Here's the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LM7_36SP1tA Director's Cut]] (0:26 might startle you).
** And what he calls the [[Creator/MichaelBay "Michael Bay]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WJfNM_m-9I Remix"]], in 3D! [[labelnote:*]]Really, it's just 30 minutes of zooming.[[/labelnote]]
* {{Retraux}}: His 75,000-subscriber milestone video is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y47mVN51o8w a repost of his very first video review]].
** The title screen for "Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of" is made to look like the error screen from a Commodore Amiga.
** His Matchbox Linkits review features a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFUew8zrQgg song]] meant to sound it it was from the [[TheEighties 1980's]] but was actually recorded in 2011.
* RewritingReality: Dr. Ashen meets the man who cracked the Source Code of the Universe in Episode 1 of Tech Dump. Depressingly though, the man was obsessed with spontaneously creating Booty Parties out of thin air.
* {{Rimshot}}: He does one in the CampRock LCD game.
--> '''Instructions:''' Shane is trying to write new songs and hears an amazing one that inspires him!\\
'''Ashen:''' So what's he do is sample it and call it UsefulNotes/HipHop. Ba-dum tsh!
* RunningGag: "Realistic color and sound effect. Just the one. Running Joke." He claimed that he was going to stop using it in Pop Station Watch 5, but it unexpectedly came back in his PCP Station review
** You could say that was an outright lie to begin with, because it gets used again in POP Station Watch 9.
** He also refers to the "Children Under 3 Should not play with this" logo as the "Sad Onion".
** He always mentions how the ''Street Fighter'' games that come with all of the POP Station variants consist of men ripping their own arms off and throwing them at each other.
** Argh! JumpCut!
** "[''sarcastic comment''], he lied."
** His battle with the auto focus.
** A less frequent one: smiling and clicking his teeth together whenever his reflection shows on the screen of the tat he's reviewing.
** In his "Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of" segment, describing the modern fate of the companies that made the games as "A FITTING PUNISHMENT!"
** Potatoes seem to come up an awful lot.
** Whenever the Engrish warnings on a cheap piece of tat says that "children must be supervised by adult." Ashen will often ask who this Adult person is and where does he come from.
** When reviewing things in a range of colours, he will often describe them in terms of flavours rather than the colours (such as describing a set of knockoff PowerRangers figures as 'strawberry, apple, lemon, liquourice and blueberry').
** "I am going to spend the rest of my life picking this stuff up off the sofa." Or some other similar phrase whenever he ends up with a bunch of shredded up paper/plastic/other substance on the sofa.
** He deliberately mispronounces samurai as "sam-your-i."
** If a device plays video, he often uses a footage of him throwing a ninja star and looking at his guilty-faced dog. It became one of the earliest uploads on his extra channel [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vxDFIEdmpw here.]]
* SelfDeprecation: A very large part of his style. He describes himself as a "Professional idiot" in biography sections of his webpages and social network accounts like Twitter. When pressed for his occupation, he insists he is an internet comedian and never brings up his Ph.D.
** At the end of his Xbox rip-off review:
-->"''Terrifying thought: You have been watching an idiot talking about a broken toy for over ten minutes.''"
** While demonstrating the Seskimo Crabble, his [=iPhone=] is playing another video of his which he describes as "some rubbish video made by an idiot."
** This exchange with the Silver Skull after the Halloween 2012 special:
-->'''The Silver Skull''': Can the Silver Skull be in more videos?
-->'''Ashen''': No.
-->'''The Silver Skull''': Why not?
-->'''Ashen''': Because you're not funny and nobody likes you.
-->'''The Silver Skull''': That never stopped you.
-->'''Ashen''': Good point.
* SeparatedByACommonLanguage:
** In one of his Poundland specials, he reflects that Americans say "Legos" rather than "Lego" as the plural:
-->'''Ashen''': Maybe that's where the "S" from the end of "Maths" ended up?
** When he mentions football/soccer in his WLL review:
-->'''Ashen''': It's difficult having an international audience which is why from now on my videos will only be available in Estonia... maybe not.
** Despite being British he liberally used both "football" and "soccer" while referring to the sport.
* ShipperOnDeck: The Apple Newton.
-->'''Ashen''': "Feature Martin do Stuart?" [[LampshadeHanging Now you're just shipping.]] I'm not into that.
* ShoddyKnockoffProduct: Mainly POP Stations. So many that the cover of Ashenthology 1 shows Ashen fighting atop a sea of them.
* ShoutOut: To fellow youtuber Mike Mozart, at the very end of his Ultra-Cheap Action Figures Review.
** [[Film/TheRoom "I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not!]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJXlFcAaSIk ...oh, HaiPad."]]
** From his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2tVE7qRLwk A88 review]]: "Calenda...wasn't that one of the major characters from that old ''Manga/{{Akira}}'' manga?"
** He goes over his "TVTropes Checklist" at the end of A Christmas Mystery Resolved.[[spoiler:..which had "DudeNotFunny"]] [[invoked]] [[SelfDeprecation checked 21 times]] and features the phrase "MalenskyTrifle" checked off as well. To finish it off, he decided to [[LiteralMinded literally]] PokeThePoodle.
** To ''MrBenn'' in his "3D Colour Games" review. "As if by magic...''ping!''...some Popstations appeared."
** In his nanodots review, "[[Music/InsaneClownPosse Magnets?]] [[MemeticMutation How do they work?]] The meme then gets played with when he briefly DOES explain how magnets work.
** To Creator/{{Chriddof}} when he announced the winners of a contest.
** When he reviews the Chef Excellence range of Stray-Fresh bags he notices the "As Seen on TV (In some countries)" label. He says that those countries are probably [[DoctorDoom Latveria]] and [[TheChroniclesOfNarnia Narnia]].
** A subtle EasterEgg one: in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnF-1viB6nY this video at 3:35]], one of the PlayStation2 games on the shelf is the fictional ''Boiga Bruddas: The Xelerious Objective'' from ''{{Chainsawsuit}}''.
** The end of his Poly Station 3 review had a cameo of [[VideoGame/BioShock1 Atlas]]/[[spoiler:Frank Fontaine]].
** In the 2012 Olympic Tat review, he namedrops [[Literature/ASongOfIceandFire Roose Bolton.]]
** At the end of his Star Wars figurines video, he places two action figures nest to each other which play the same sound, announcing, "And now in stereo!" before playing both toys simultaneously. This is a reference to [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus Monty Python's]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0gzQS4w1sc&t=1m26s "Man with a Tape Recorder Up His Brother's Nose."]]
** Near the end of [[http://youtu.be/Aueah-mOjDI?t=20m36s one of his Poundland Food Specials]], Ashens comments that his cousin Steven went to Japan a couple of months ago and visited [[Manga/TheEnigmaOfAmigaraFault Amigara Fault]].
** In his YouTube ''Series/{{Knightmare}}'' "[[InNameOnly remake]]" Stuart lists as his special skill: "[[VideoGame/TheSecretOfMonkeyIsland he can hold his breath for ten minutes]]."
** After making the Gingerb- shortbr- cookie house during his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTeQs4-3CAY 2013 Chrismas food video]], he sang a little while cleaning up.
---> '''Ashen''': [[Creator/ThisIsIt Now let's all agree to never be creative again]].
** At the last video of his Not-LEGO special, he does a video on little not-LEGO blind bags. The last set he looks at is full of spaceship models. How does he choose to end the video:
---> "[[TheLEGOMovie SPACESHIP! SPACESHIP! SPACESHIP! SPACESHIP!]]"
* SeinfeldianConversation: Lapses into them when dealing with mundane parts of the review (package opening) or intro on whatever is being ripped off.
* SlasherSmile: To this day, all the comments of his Video Remix Competition announcement video talk about is [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Screen_Shot_2012-11-02_at_15_10_24_4022.png his expression at the start of the video]].
* SomethingCompletelyDifferent: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pemR-dApMV0 A 16mm film reel dated August 1993]] was uploaded in May 2011. The sofa is nowhere to be seen.
** In April 2013, He was unable to upload his promised mid-week video because he was out of town so he made a video reviewing his seedy hotel room.
* SophisticatedAsHell: "Hello, I am failed psychologist and internet cunt, Dr Ashen."
** His reaction to the completely irrelevant plot synopsis for ''Nightwalk'': "Three words come to mind here: 'What', 'The', and 'Fuck'."
* SpecialEffectsFailure: [[{{In-Universe}} Pretty much the whole point of his feature]], ''Top 5 Rubbish Movie Monsters''.
* SpellMyNameWithAThe: '''THE GOOSE''' from the Easter 2013 special.
* SpitTake: In his Easter 2012 special, he eats a "Rieslen Cream Egg" so vile, he ''immediately'' spits it right back out again. He later apologizes for how unprofessional this was, but apparently that egg was ''really'' vile.
* StrangerThanFiction: Regardless of what fictional quirks and oddities he has alluded to for his on-screen persona over the years, they all pale into comparison beside the fact that the real life Ashen apparently keeps VideoGame/DoubleDragon arcade boards in his oven.
* StylisticSuck: His mocked-up homemade ''Series/DoctorWho'' opening.
-->''"It's hard to believe that introduction cost 8 and a half thousand pounds to make."''
** The Silver Skull's attempts to make it big in jazz fusion.
* SubliminalSeduction: Brief flash frames are interspersed at random in certain videos, and the exact meaning [[MindScrew isn't clear]].
** He's currently taken to showing flash frames of a weird bald, bearded guy.
* SubvertedKidsShow: Creator/HarryPartridge's ''Bo-Starr'', a blatant parody of ''WesternAnimation/HeManAndTheMastersOfTheUniverse1983'', in ''Ashen's Tech Dump'' 4. Also, "Poor Monkey", "Naughty Heffalump", and "Uncle Stories".
* SurpriseCreepy: The 2013 Playmobil Advent Calendar at first seemed to be shaping up to be a straightforward series of videos like the 2012 Lego Star Wars one, but then the Grass Masks start showing up...
* TheStinger: Some of his early videos have strange endings after the URL plug. A StupidStatementDanceMix "[[Series/{{Columbo}} Liquid Filth]]" in particular achieved minor memetic status among his subscribers.
** Oh, he's still doing it. And not always of the funny variety, either. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQg052Wpzj0 One]] even seems to be a direct ShoutOut to the trope's name in the form of a '''''TERRIFYINGLY''''' [[IncrediblyLamePun Lame Pun]]. [[spoiler:It involves [[TopGear the Stig]].]]
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obTrhupnqYY I'm not recording this, you know.]]"
* TakeAThirdOption: His Extra Ashens Blind Bags series consists of reviewing various blind bags or pods (containers that contain a random toy figurine in a series) before deciding whether to put them on 'The Shelf of Interesting Items' or burn them with his blowtorch. He later added extra options such as the Drawer of Purgatory, the Box of Shame, and the Skull of Mystery.
** In an [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ds-SGrHTMg early review]] comparing the Creative Vado and Flip Video Ultra camcorders he tells the audience which one he would recommend, he tells the viewers to not buy either of them and just keep their money.
* TakeThat: His famous [[http://homepage.ntlworld.com/ashen1/ashen/menu/build/intro.htm no-money computer building guide]] is one long build-up to a jab against VIA and ATI.
** Ashen lets you know exactly how he feels about actor Kevin James at the end of his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tIBIny4L6E#t=24m39s Game.com review]].
** After several questions about the Heinz pasta ads Youtube put at the beginning of videos, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEL89oQpIKs Chef Excellence made him a plate]]. Ashen's wasn't exactly pleased with the dish.
*** From the tags on that same video: [[spoiler:salt, salty, too salty, too much salt, blimey these are salty]]
** He has taken many stabs at U2.
** At the end of his Game King review, he calls the British royal family an "ugly and outdated embarrassment with no real power behind it." (Comparing them to the Game King unit.) After he says this, a fake XBox360 achievement notification pops up reading: "Achievement unlocked: Treason".
-->Ashen: [[OhCrap "Uh oh..."]]
* TastesLikeFeet: He uses this trope a lot when he reviews food items. Examples include him describing cheap mallow candy with a rubbery taste as "like eating part of a motor", cheap wine from Tesco is "ink and vinegar", and he describes cream soda as "fizzy phlegm."
* TemptingFate: In [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=iv&src_vid=CSO1KWLGd50&annotation_id=annotation_740341&v=_w5rkcaeXF8 Self-Assembly Iron-Vehicle Review]] Ashen mocks the toy's "puzzle" classification by claiming it won't have any instructions. It winds up not having instructions.
** "Let's hope it's not in any way poisonous." [[labelnote:*]]said before preparing a [[MadeInCountryX made-in-China]] instant cupcake from Poundland.[[/labelnote]]
* TheElevatorFromIpanema: The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJXlFcAaSIk [=HaiPad=] review]] has him humming this tune during the many loading lags. Later, the WiiU's lags almost destroyed his ability to whistle, he was called on to do it so much.
* TheManyDeathsOfYou: For him, it was [[StartToCorpse The Many]] ''Quick'' [[StartToCorpse Deaths of You]]. He had two videos timing the fastest deaths in video games. [[{{Action52}} One game]] killed you in less than a second.
* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat: In his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trf9O4JtlIo Onda e-book review]], Ashen pronounces "Amazon" wrong a few times, then later reveals he did it deliberately to [[ViewersAreMorons bait the more impulsive viewers into writing comments on the video expressing obnoxious corrections on the pronunciation before watching the review further]]. The result was several removed comments.
* ThirdPersonPerson: The Silver Skull.
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: Whenever approaching a product he really isn't going to like (such as the Poundland food, which he seemed to genuinely fear eating).
** [[WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong "What could possibly go]] [[InvertedTrope right?"]]
** Whenever he reviews a Popstation, PCP Station, or other cheap knock-off games.
* TimedMission: A video where he set himself the task of reviewing 10 items in 10 minutes.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: He seems to like celery.
** He's fond of Cadbury cream eggs and Kinder Surpise chocolate as well, going by his reaction to them.
* {{Tradesnark}}: From [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHwmiZjo7OM Poundland Special 4]]: "[This fake {{Lego}} set is] from a company called 'Best-Lock--' registered trademark '--Construction Toys'."
* UncannyValley: Invoked by name in his review of the PS Vita.
** Mentioned again in his Matchbox Linkits review regarding one of the human figures.
* UnfortunateImplications: Attempted aversion. In the "Oriental Fighter" episode of "Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of" he points out [[invoked]] that the word "oriental" [[SeparatedByACommonLanguage does not bear the same connotations in England as it does in America]].
** Discussed in his review of [[ThomasTheTankEngine the fake Thomas The Tank Engine figures]]. See the show's page for more details.
* UnreliableNarrator: [[http://homepage.ntlworld.com/ashen1/ashen/menu/build/How_to_Build_a_PC.mp3 The audio version of his no-money computer building guide.]]
* VideoReviewShow
* ViewersAreMorons: He takes offense at the PlayStationVita's "Welcome Park" tutorial program, which has the voiceover of a children's show. He doesn't even give it 10 seconds before he [[PrecisionFStrike rudely cuts it off]].
* VomitDiscretionShot: At least twice now - once when he found a maggot (actually fake and put there as a prank) in a pack of nasty-tasting chocolate he was sent, at which point he simply abruptly dropped the packet and ran off, and again when he ate a portion of a century egg. In both cases we were treated to a "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE STAND BY" holding slide featuring a vomiting cartoon Ashens.
* WaxingLyrical: When reviewing the Meze 88 Classics headphones, he holds up a gold-plated socket adaptor and says "[[SpandauBallet Gold. Always believe in your soul]]."
** Inadvertently done in the ''Violin - [[WordSaladTitle Wonderful sound, Strange shape]]'' review when he read out the lyrics to a Korean pop song called ''Eternal Morning'' that was printed on said toy's box.
* WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong: Right after the announcement of his intention to upload a new video every day during Christmas 2010 for "The Twelve Days of Tatmas".
** More directly in the 8th entry in that series, in which he attempts to assemble [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSN6G5yGhdM Christmas crackers.]]
** Inverted on occasion with [[ThisIsGonnaSuck "What could possibly go right?"]]
* WordSaladTitle: Retieval Mankind's Batman, as well as other [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct POP Station]] jargon.
** Chanticleer Hegemony. It was never reviewed as it wasn't in the box, but Ashens eventually found out what it was and it isn't half as cool as the [[http://www.formspring.me/Ashens/q/176434062154570304 game's title]].
* YouGottaHaveBlueHair: A knockoff Superman figure has blue hair in a long mullet.
----
[[spoiler:''YOU HAVE SHOWN THESE HUMANS TOO MUCH'']]
----

** Referenced in regards to a FightClub ripoff action figure whose face has been printed wrongly.

* BodyHorror: The FightClub action figures, which have limbs twisted around the wrong way and faces painted on wrongly. Apparently, it can spread.

* BigShutUp: He gives one to the annoying nature screensaver towards the end of the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSO1KWLGd50 iPhone 5G review]].

* ActorAllusion: In the Extra Ashens Avengers Mega Blocks video, he initially refers to all the members of the Avengers by the titles of other films their actors were in (such as [[RobertDowneyJr Iron Man being "Sherlock Holmes"]] and [[HughJackman Wolverine being "The Prestige"]]).

** All of those surprise-bags videos looked like they would lead up to a video of the surprise bags for ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', even going so far as to obtaining surprise bags for both the pre-existing franchise ''Bella Sara'' and the true knockoff ''My Filly Unicorn''. As of early 2014, he has yet to make such a video.

** Mentioned by name in the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6GziB3ArVI Christmas Tat Special 2012]]:
--> '''Ashen''': There's a fairly thick theme running through this year's special about Father Christmas, and BodyHorror.
*** Items from said video include a starfish-like creature with Santa Claus' screaming face twisted into a dog toy, a Santa Claus on a swing hanging from a rope attached to the inside of his skull and what appears to be a Cthulhu-Santa hybrid.

** To {{Chriddof}} when he announced the winners of a contest.

* DeadpanSnarker: He doesn't hold anything back against the "products" he reviews. Emphasis on the "Deadpan," too, as he's usually extremely calm-voiced during his inferior product reviews.

** In his YouTube {{Knightmare}} "[[InNameOnly remake]]" Stuart lists as his special skill: "[[VideoGame/TheSecretOfMonkeyIsland he can hold his breath for ten minutes]]."

** Many have noted his resemblance to SimonPegg, especially when paired with [[GuruLarryAndWez Guru Larry]], who--also noted by many--acts as Ashen's [[Film/ShaunOfTheDead Nick]] [[Film/HotFuzz Frost]].
** The SimonPegg resemblance was visually lampshaded in "An Excellent Newsflash".

** He also does this when he first presents the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcFQF3PZFRk Mobile Phone Handset]] from Signalex, due to the product's very concept. He stated that he had to redo the intro 14 times to get it right, because he couldn't stop laughing. He still has some trouble in the video itself.