Reviews: Shrek Forever After

What an awful movie.

"Shrek" was an instant classic, "Shrek 2" was a near-perfect sequel and one of the best animated films of the 2000s. "Shrek The Third" was a big step down, very disappointing. But what about "Shrek Forever After"? After STT I was anxious to check it out, but eventually decided the time was right to finally watch Shrek's supposed final chapter. And now, I wish I hadn't. To me, "Shrek Forever After" is a complete waste of time. I didn't think it could be worse than STT, but SFA actually makes the third movie look like comic gold in comparison.

The film begins interestingly, showing us who Rumpelstiltskin is and what he wants, but as soon as the film starts focusing on Shrek, it almost instantly turns to crap. The birthday party scene is so ugly, so unfunny, so witless and so obnoxiously desperate that I consider it a contender for the worst scene in any DreamWorks animated movie. From then on, the film improves slightly, but it's still far from enjoyable enough. Shrek sells away his entire life to Rumpelstiltskin, resulting in him being dropped into an alternate, dystopian universe. It's just depressing.

What follows is a tedious, unfunny and mean-spirited adventure that constantly fails to be original and involving. Every single character has lost all charm by this point, including Donkey, who is rendered intolerable in this movie. Rumpelstiltskin is an annoying cretin and the few other new characters are instantly forgettable. Every action scene is derivative, repetitive and predictable, every single joke falls flat and the ending, while mildly heartwarming, just made me think "What was the point of sitting through that?". There's no big, clever twist. It just runs out of story and decides to end, with nothing to take away except for a couple of passable morals. This rubbish should have been been direct-to-DVD.

The lone bright spot in this excuse for a Shrek movie is the ogre army. I really liked the idea of all these pretty cool-looking ogres banding together underground and standing up for themselves, with Fiona leading them, and it was totally wasted here. Almost every other facet of SFA is very poor: Charmless characters, lame jokes, a dismal premise, tiresome action scenes and barely any innovation. Shrek Forever After is garbage that I wish I could delete from my memory. No, Rumpelstiltskin, I'm not signing anything.