Pippin: His Life and Times, or "130 Minutes of Pointless Audience Down Talking" (also known as "Creepy Vareity Show!"
So things actually start off really well with Magic to Do which is a fun yet creepy number. The following monologue is funny too and Pippin is a charming character with a great following song. Then ofncourse, when the whole conflict is set up and Charles is introduced, things get more fun. War is a Science and Glory are both incredibly creepy.
Then the show really plummets. Though a fun number, No Time at All is pointless and as a character, the grandmother is pointless too. With You really stinks because Pippin isn't supposed to mean what he says, but he does. Then suddenly an ORGY! Then Pippin, along his journey hears that Charles is EVIL and wants to kill him! Meanwhile we're treated to a deliciously evil number called "Spread A Little Sunshine" where Fastrada reveals she doesn't even care about Lewis and is using him as a scheme.
Meanwhile, Pippin comes in and talks to his father, dragging out what could have been an interesting scene into a long father/son moment where we feel like Schwartz's political agenda is beating us against the head. So after Charles reveals his true colours, Pippin stabs him then suddenly becomes the king. So he's king and all and blah blah blah, and after witnessing how hard it is to be king, gives up the throne and calls for our Narrator to revive Charles, and ta-da, he's alive!
Pippin gets depressed and our narrator gives a glimmer of hope with a catchy number called "On the Right Track". Which is followed by an emo moment by Pippin, and suddenly a love interest is brought in. Catherine lives with Theo, who has a pet duck. So they're married for a year and all and Pippin is still depressed and Catherine talks to him sweetly, and Narrator shouts at her to be more nagging, which she is!! And then.. Dammit, work is so hard, can't I be ORDINARY!
Oh, and then there's a pointless sex scene and love song. Pippin later reveals he's suddenly leaving. Catherine then sings about how she misses him, though their relationship has as much depth as a soggy paper plate. Then the finale comes, where Narrator tries to get Pippin to kill himself, and he almost does, but realizes that he was in one big long pointless journey, while we scratch our heads. Narrator asks if anyone in the crowd wants to kill themselves. No, we don't.
Then at the end, Theo is next. Ooh I want a sequel!!!
No, actually, I do not.