Looking at the premise, it's very easy to dismiss this as one of those fics. In such a genre, Sophistication And Betrayal is a welcome breath of fresh air.
On the technical side, "Show, Don't Tell" is in full effect. Descriptions build up scenes nicely, dialogue feels organic, and conversations flow realistically. Characters feel fleshed-out and developed.
The protagonist is likeable and relatable, and ultimately he's a decent guy trying to get on with his life. Rarity also comes across well, something which the show sometimes struggles to convey. And both have their flaws. As a couple, they have a life outside their relationship, and when they seek each other out it's because they genuinely enjoy the other's company. Their relationship feels authentic, and it allows the reader to care about what happens.
They laugh, they cry, they argue, they make up. They have fears and doubts, as well as hopes and dreams. They socialise, and they take a quiet moment to simply enjoy each other's company. In short, they do all the stuff you'd expect to see from a real loving couple. And yes, that means they sometimes have sex. Except this is one of those rare stories where such scenes are used sparingly (averaging 1 per 50K words), often using a Discretion Shot rather than shoehorning it in. The subject is also treated with the respect it deserves, and spans pretty much the full gamut of emotions.
That's not to say things are perfect however. The use of the 2nd person imposes limits, and is something I find irritating, though it does avoid having a Featureless Protagonist. The Fluttershy arc - despite the deconstruction - sits out the way doing nothing, and detracting from the far more compelling existing romance.
Perhaps the only other fault I could level at the story is that much of the cast goes relatively unused. Their appearances do contribute, but there is some untapped potential there, I feel.
Ultimately, yes, there's an element of wish fulfilment. Nevertheless, it's a good exploration of a character who does have her strengths overlooked in favour of the more popular characters from the show, and it's a well-developed romance. If you don't let your past conceptions about the genre get in your way and can overlook the flaws, there's a very good story worthy of your time in there.
FanFic A breath of fresh air
Looking at the premise, it's very easy to dismiss this as one of those fics. In such a genre, Sophistication And Betrayal is a welcome breath of fresh air.
On the technical side, "Show, Don't Tell" is in full effect. Descriptions build up scenes nicely, dialogue feels organic, and conversations flow realistically. Characters feel fleshed-out and developed.
The protagonist is likeable and relatable, and ultimately he's a decent guy trying to get on with his life. Rarity also comes across well, something which the show sometimes struggles to convey. And both have their flaws. As a couple, they have a life outside their relationship, and when they seek each other out it's because they genuinely enjoy the other's company. Their relationship feels authentic, and it allows the reader to care about what happens.
They laugh, they cry, they argue, they make up. They have fears and doubts, as well as hopes and dreams. They socialise, and they take a quiet moment to simply enjoy each other's company. In short, they do all the stuff you'd expect to see from a real loving couple. And yes, that means they sometimes have sex. Except this is one of those rare stories where such scenes are used sparingly (averaging 1 per 50K words), often using a Discretion Shot rather than shoehorning it in. The subject is also treated with the respect it deserves, and spans pretty much the full gamut of emotions.
That's not to say things are perfect however. The use of the 2nd person imposes limits, and is something I find irritating, though it does avoid having a Featureless Protagonist. The Fluttershy arc - despite the deconstruction - sits out the way doing nothing, and detracting from the far more compelling existing romance.
Perhaps the only other fault I could level at the story is that much of the cast goes relatively unused. Their appearances do contribute, but there is some untapped potential there, I feel.
Ultimately, yes, there's an element of wish fulfilment. Nevertheless, it's a good exploration of a character who does have her strengths overlooked in favour of the more popular characters from the show, and it's a well-developed romance. If you don't let your past conceptions about the genre get in your way and can overlook the flaws, there's a very good story worthy of your time in there.