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Dirtyblue929
Current Version
Changed line(s) 3 from:
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** DragonInChief: What he is to [[spoiler:Kylo Ren]] after the latter's ascension to [[spoiler:Supreme Leader]] after [[spoiler:Snoke's]] untimely death. Sure, the latter can simply [[spoiler:Force Choke]] him '''any''' time he wants for disobedience, but it is clear as day by the finale of ''Film/TheLastJedi'' that he does '''not''' have the respect '''or''' loyalty of [[spoiler:the might of the First Order's armies]] that the former does due to his inexperience and incompetence as a military-leader, hilariously demonstrated when his immature need to [[spoiler:obliterate the ''Millennium Falcon'', and failing that personally duel Luke Skywalker bought the remaining resistance the time it needed to escape and survive]], denying the First Order its final victory. This would imply that [[spoiler:Kylo]] has to be more carrot and less stick with Hux from now on if he wants any '''real''' power over [[spoiler:the throne of the First Order]].
to:
** DragonInChief: What he is to [[spoiler:Kylo Ren]] after the latter\'s ascension to [[spoiler:Supreme Leader]] after [[spoiler:Snoke\'s]] untimely death. Sure, the latter can simply [[spoiler:Force Choke]] him \'\'\'any\'\'\' time he wants for disobedience, but it is clear as day by the finale of \'\'Film/TheLastJedi\'\' that he does \'\'\'not\'\'\' have the respect \'\'\'or\'\'\' loyalty of [[spoiler:the might of the First Order\'s armies]] that the former does due to his inexperience and incompetence as a military-leader, hilariously demonstrated when his immature need to [[spoiler:obliterate the \'\'Millennium Falcon\'\', and failing that personally duel Luke Skywalker bought the remaining resistance the time it needed to escape and survive]], denying the First Order its final victory. This would imply that [[spoiler:Kylo]] has to be more carrot and less stick with Hux from now on if he wants any \'\'\'real\'\'\' power over [[spoiler:the throne of the First Order]].
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Lots of problems to talk about here. First off - extremely long. Entries are generally supposed to be short and to the point: see WordCruft for some tips. Yes, a sense of humor is ''recommended'', but this just goes on and on about
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Lots of problems to talk about here. First off - extremely long. Entries are generally supposed to be short and to the point: see WordCruft for some tips. Yes, a sense of humor is \'\'recommended\'\', but this just goes on and on about \"Kylo is a stupid idiot\" in a big old run-on sentence. Specifics:
* The part about the Millennium Falcon is better suited for a GeneralFailure entry in Kylo\'s folder.
* The last sentence adds nothing to the entry aside from bashing Kylo some more for his lack of power.
* The qualifiers (\"Snoke\'s untimely death\", \"the might of the First Order\'s armies\", \"clear as day by the finale of \'\'The Last Jedi\", etc.) can be cut without detracting from the entry at all.
Second big problem - the character-bashing, which is frowned upon. Again, sure, a sense of humor done right is appreciated. But you\'re also expected to rein it in and be neutral when it comes to opinions. Example: I absolutely \'\'despise\'\' Holdo\'s portrayal in the film and feel like the entire Canto Bight[=/=]DJ arc is a big ol\' IdiotPlot kicked off by her actions. I\'ve also made several edits to her character entry, and I did my damnedest to make my additions sound neutral in case anyone who really likes her reads them.
Third - formatting. The random bolding of words is distracting, almost as much as the [[spoiler:haphazard]] spoiler tags [[spoiler:that]] split up the text [[spoiler:and]] make it look like [[spoiler:a censored]] CIA document. Bolding should generally be reserved for special situations; use italics for emphasis on words in a sentence, and for heaven\'s sake don\'t \'\'over\'\'-use them. Notice I\'ve only done so twice in this unnecessarily-long write up.
* The part about the Millennium Falcon is better suited for a GeneralFailure entry in Kylo\'s folder.
* The last sentence adds nothing to the entry aside from bashing Kylo some more for his lack of power.
* The qualifiers (\"Snoke\'s untimely death\", \"the might of the First Order\'s armies\", \"clear as day by the finale of \'\'The Last Jedi\", etc.) can be cut without detracting from the entry at all.
Second big problem - the character-bashing, which is frowned upon. Again, sure, a sense of humor done right is appreciated. But you\'re also expected to rein it in and be neutral when it comes to opinions. Example: I absolutely \'\'despise\'\' Holdo\'s portrayal in the film and feel like the entire Canto Bight[=/=]DJ arc is a big ol\' IdiotPlot kicked off by her actions. I\'ve also made several edits to her character entry, and I did my damnedest to make my additions sound neutral in case anyone who really likes her reads them.
Third - formatting. The random bolding of words is distracting, almost as much as the [[spoiler:haphazard]] spoiler tags [[spoiler:that]] split up the text [[spoiler:and]] make it look like [[spoiler:a censored]] CIA document. Bolding should generally be reserved for special situations; use italics for emphasis on words in a sentence, and for heaven\'s sake don\'t \'\'over\'\'-use them. Notice I\'ve only done so twice in this unnecessarily-long write up.
