READY!
I once had a dream where I became an exchange student in Japan and ended up attending the college where Konata went after the series ended.
Then things got a bit too surreal for me to remember, but I do remember this one part where I spontaneously grew insect wings and flew to the moon.
Discover the rest as the game progresses.
The Bipolar Troper
You must've been in the OVA.
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
The Bipolar Troper
I didn't even point out that my previous post landed on a Lucky Number.
Well, it did!
Not a Good Father by Edmond Dantes
Kagami suddenly came into Edmond's apartment, holding a crying blue-haired baby. Edmond, who had been playing a game, looked up with a cocked eyebrow.
"Okay," Kagami quickly explained, "You're never gonna believe this, but we were walking through the park and Konata took a big gulp from a fountain, which turned out to be the Fountain of Youth! She drank so much that she turned back into a baby!"
Edmond looked at Kagami, then at the baby, then at Kagami, and said "Okay, three things wrong with this picture."
"For one thing, why the heck are you bringing it to me?"
"For another thing, this baby is made of plastic."
"For three," and here Edmond looked at the door frame, "I CAN SEE KONATA'S HEAD POKING AROUND THE CORNER!"
Kagami mumbled, "I knew this prank was stupid..."
End Story
...Hmmm... Honestly, I don't think that was one of my better ones. What do you people think?
I'm thinking of implementing a scoring system. Scale of 1-5, with 5 being the best. Wanna try it out?
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
Slay foes with bow and arrow
The Body Pillow story is a five.
That last one was a 2.
The Bipolar Troper
I decided I'm gonna try something different:
I've got some notions for future skits, and I want my regular readers to take a vote on which ones they'd like to see more (you may choose more than one):
- 1) Konata actually warming up to Edmond
- 2) Edmond meeting Konata's relatives
- 3) hints of Edmond/Tsukasa
- 4) Anything at all involving Akira
- 5) A story that, for once, isn't about Edmond
I'm also thinking of trying my hand at a fan-comic (hopefully it'll turn out much better than that fanart I did earlier...), though that's gonna be separate from these skits I do for your amusement.
In return for your votes, here's another skit:
A Point of Similarity by Edmond Dantes
"And so," Edmond said, "I told him 'No, no, NO! You can do that leaving-it-face-down-on-a-desk stuff with your own CDs and DVDs, but with mine you PUT THEM BACK IN THE CASE, or I'm not gonna let you play my games anymore!'"
Kagami was surprised that Konata and Edmond were actually getting along and enjoying a conversation for once. Konata smiled and said "I know, right? Its like these people have no sense of value for other people's things!"
"Honestly," Kagami said, "I think you kind of over-reacted. So what if he leaves the disk on a table for a minute, anyway?"
"You don't understand!" both Edmond and Konata said at the same time, but Edmond continued the explanation: "A lot of people think that putting a disc face-down is safe. Nothing could be further from the truth—the label side holds all the information! If the reverse side gets scratched, that's okay—its only plastic. But if the label gets even the smallest nick, the disc is destroyed!"
"And this was a very rare disk, too!" Konata agreed, "One that could never ever be replaced! Even if it was common, you should never be so disrespectful of another's property!"
Kagami had to concede the latter point, so then asked "Rare disk huh? What was it, exactly?"
"You are going to be so amazed!" Konata said.
Edmond, trying his best not to smile, said "It was a disk from the Dragon Box."
"He has all of them!" Konata chirped.
Kagami stared. "What's the Dragon Box?"
Both Konata and Edmond face-faulted, and simultaneously thought "How can she not know about the Dragon Box...?"
End Story
edited 13th Oct '10 2:45:35 AM by Edmond_Dantes
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
Slay foes with bow and arrow
The label side really holds the information?
The story gets a 4, not as good as the Body Pillow one, but still amusing.
The Bipolar Troper
Yep, that's really how CDs and DVDs work.
Incidentally, I had multiple endings for the above one. Originally I was gonna write Edmond as having a Doctor Who DVD (and then the joke would be that neither Konata nor Kagami know what that is), but I figured the story made more sense if the DVD was something Konata would recognize.
edited 13th Oct '10 11:33:30 AM by Edmond_Dantes
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
Slay foes with bow and arrow
^That is interesting.
My votes for the next story, in descending order of voteyness:
- 3, because Tsukasa is my favorite character.
- 2, because Konata's dad.
- 1, because it could be cute, maybe.
- 5, because it's not 4.
- 4, because I don't really like Akira at all.
Of course, I'll read whatever. I'm a regular reader of this thread by now. I won't just stop!
And that story was pretty decent. Agreed at not being as good as the body pillow one though.
edited 13th Oct '10 1:03:28 PM by DYRE
Anything but 3. It seems kind of creepy as I associate Tsukasa with Bobby G.
The Bipolar Troper
I get the feeling all my future skits are going to be judged against the Body Pillow story from now on 
Not that I mind.
For the moment I'm gonna try my hand at more Seinfeldian Conversation type stories while I'm waiting for votes to come in.
Test of Knowledge by Edmond Dantes
"—And then he says 'I'll get you next time, Gadget! NEXT TIME!'" and flies away in his jet. Cue end of episode."
Edmond Dantes had finished a description to a captive audience, Konata Izumi, who was actually paying rapt attention.
"You know, American animation doesn't sound near as bad as you say it is," she said. "Tell me another one!"
Edmond thought, "Well... what kind of thing are you interested in?"
Konata thought, and asked "Do you have any Magical Girl shows?"
"Well, I guess you could call it that. We have She-Ra: Princess of Power. But that's actually a spin-off of He-Man. Both are about people who have these magic swords, and when they hold them up and say By the Power of Grayskull they transform into magical versions."
"So one is like a magical girl show, but with a guy?"
"Yup."
Konata thought. "What about idol singers?"
Edmond quickly answered, "The first thing that comes to my mind is Jem and the Holograms. Actually, in a way its kind of a magical girl too. Its about this heiress who runs a record company, but she uses holograms to disguise herself so she can double over as a singer."
"Whoa..." Konata said. "You've gotta import some of this stuff sometime! HEY!" she suddenly thought, "Does America have a giant robot series?"
At this point Edmond got a smirk, and said "Oh yes, we have the best giant robot series of all time! Its called Robotech, and the whole story is about this fighter pilot in a love triangle with an idol singer and a stern naval officer. The catch is, the aliens aren't actually bad, they just don't understand that there are forms of culture outside of war, and once they start learning more about human society they rebel against their masters and join the humans!"
"SUGOI! Edmond, you have to show me that as soon as possible! I don't think Japan has ever made anything like that, EVER!"
And at this point, Edmond could no longer contain his laughter, leaving Konata with a questioning expression on her face.
End Story.
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
The Bipolar Troper
Okay, this story might be kinda controversial but the idea just hit me.
Bad Trip by Edmond Dantes
Konata was having a bad case of the sniffles. Not only that, but her eyes were watering, and she felt an irritation in her throat. She coughed.
Her, Kagami, and Miyuki were at Edmond's apartment to watch a movie, and they all heard her coughing.
Konata looked at Edmond and said "The gaijin did something to me, I just know it!"
When she described her symptoms, Edmond said "That's just allergies. Just take some benadryl and that'll clear it right up!" He pointed the bathroom out to her. Sure enough, that's where it was.
Her eyes were so watered up that Konata couldn't clearly read the dosing instructions, so she just said "Eh, I'll take a handful." and downed them, then got back to the movie.
....
Hours later, Konata felt like she was coming down from some place in the sky, and she was surprised to find herself laying on the floor of Edmond's closet. Her friends were watching her: Miyuki with concern, Kagami with consternation, Edmond with amusement.
"Honestly!" Kagami said, "I've never been so embarrassed in all my life!"
"Uhhh, what happened?" Konata asked.
Edmond smirked, asked "What should we bring up first, the technicolor space aliens or how she debated the finer points of Kingdom Hearts with Hugh Jackman?"
End Story
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
Slay foes with bow and arrow
Hmm, I will have to think those two over.
Oh, and I know how Benadryl can be. I read up somewhere that people on Benadryl perform worse than people who are legally drunk when driving. I can believe that. Overdosing on it can also cause hallucinations, like Konata had.
The Bipolar Troper
This isn't the first time I've used Benadryl as a plot point either—were you around back in the days of the "my penis has become a cornstalk!" joke?
I've had one (real) benadryl trip. I remember mostly wavey lines, and a cup of water suddenly seeming really heavy, and not being able to remember a whole movie, but most of all there just seemed to be a chronological distortion—me and a friend watched a disk of Dragonball Z, and the scene where Gohan is running from dinosaurs (episode 5 or 6) was immediately followed by Raditz arriving at Kame House (episode 2). It wasn't like there was a jump, either—it was completely seamless, as if that was how the episode actually was.
It's not an experience I recommend, but its better than Dex.
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
I'm starting to look forward to the mini-fics.
I've been looking forward to the mini-fics since before you have!
edited 15th Oct '10 4:54:54 PM by DYRE
The Bipolar Troper
I was trying to go for more of a "sweet" story this time.
Comfort Zone by Edmond Dantes
They sat down in the theater, the four of them in a line: Edmond, Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa. The commercials began rolling. Konata looked and realized who she was right by, and said "Hey Tsukasa, switch places with me."
And so they switched. Edmond for his part didn't notice until he tried to wrap his arm around Konata and found Tsukasa there instead, which embarrassed them both, but they said nothing about it.
The movie went on. Konata and Kagami were totally eating it up, but Tsukasa cowered in fear, closing and averting her eyes every time something scary was on the screen.
"You all right?" Edmond whispered
"Wah!" she reacted at first, but then said "N-no... it's just, I don't really like scary movies..."
Edmond smiled, "Eh, its not that bad."
"That's easy for you to say..."
"No, really. How can you believe in the monster when you can clearly see his zipper?"
Tsukasa looked. The back of the monster was on-screen right now, but she did catch a little gray glint. She smiled. "Oh, yeah! I guess that is silly! ha ha!"
...
The movie ended. The girls parted ways with Edmond and went home, talking about their feelings on the movie.
When it got to Tsukasa's turn, she said "It was scary at first, but then Edmond told me that you could see the zipper on the monster costume, and I was able to enjoy it!"
Konata and Kagami both had a "huh?" expression on their face.
"What's... wrong?..." Tsukasa asked.
"Tsukasa..." Konata explained, "The monster was CGI."
End Story
edited 16th Oct '10 5:45:03 AM by Edmond_Dantes
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
That was hilarious.
Slay foes with bow and arrow
The Bipolar Troper
Well, I gots a new one for my loyal readers!
Light Novels Revisited by Edmond Dantes
"Come on, read it!" Kagami argued with Konata.
"But... reading books without pictures puts me to sleep!" Konata said. "Anyway, there's an anime of that!"
Edmond, who had been listening to this argument, interjected: "But the anime and the light novel don't always match up. Slayers for example was almost completely different."
Konata had to have a momentary respect for someone who knew this much about anime, but then said "Well..."
"I've got a compromise!" Edmond said. "Let me borrow the book, and I'll read it to her!"
Kagami looked mildly annoyed. "Don't baby her, Edmond!"
"But nothing turns a man on quite like a childish woman!"
"FINE!" Konata exploded out of nowhere, "I'll read it!" and she grabbed the book from Kagami's hand and sulked angrily off.
Kagami and Edmond watched until Konata was far away, then giggled. Simultaneously, they said:
"All according to plan!"
End Story
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
^ Surely Konata would already know that the anime isn't always the same as the source material.
^^^^ Excellent
The Bipolar Troper
She probably would, however there is an incident in the anime where she used "there's an anime of it" as an excuse not to read a light novel so I figured it'd be prudent to have that fact brought to bear.
Incidentally, I'm thinking of putting these stories out on a schedule, instead of sparodically like I do now. I'm thinking "every Tuesday and Thursday."
Also; Poll!!!!
Ummm, I'm not quite clear how to word this, but I'm wondering how many people would like to see me try my hand at a longer story that isn't just a skit? Everyone whose for it, raise your hands!
(Also any additional comments/suggestions are welcome)
(P.S. Yes, I welcome criticism. Just as long as you observe the difference between "criticism" and "author-bashing.")
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)
Love those videos, Galeros!
Sorry it took so long for me to say so, just I wasn't sure if I should say something and risk having to double-post later, or hold off until I have actual content to post.
But since The wiki is only interested in hosting a friendly, civil forum I suppose nobody is going to get on my case if I post compliments now, and then post a story later.
But here's a story anyway.
Body Pillow by Edmond Dantes
Konata only knocked twice before slamming open the door of Edmond's apartment and looking around. Edmond was actually there, trying to memorize even more Japanese, and he looked up slowly in a very disinterested way as if he didn't care who was coming through the door—until he saw it was Konata and she was looking around his place as if she was after something.
"What's up?" Edmond asked.
"Where is it?" Konata demanded.
"Where is what?"
"Don't play innocent with me! Anime fanboy with an anime crush who writes self-insert fanfics, the conclusion is obvious! You must be hiding toys, dress-up dolls, cosplay outfits, a body pillow, maybe even hentai doujinshi!"
"Eh?"
"Fess up! Where is it?"
Edmond almost laughed. "Sorry to disappoint you."
"Eh?"
"I don't keep things like that. I have barely enough money as it is to afford food and lodging. And besides," Edmond softly held Konata's chin, "I get to see the real thing every day, why would I need a copy?"
Konata backed away. Still looking suspicious, she asked "You really don't have anything like that?"
"You just looked around. Where would I keep it?"
"Hmmm..." Konata took one last glance, then said "Fine, sorry to bother you." and then left before Edmond could extend her an invitation.
The next day, Konata and Kagami came to visit, and Edmond's eyebrow shot up when he saw Konata carrying a package. "What's in the box?" he asked.
Konata had a somber look, and said "Consider it an early Christmas present."
Edmond opened the box, and inside was... a Konata body pillow. Edmond recoiled in shock, and Kagami's face went blue. Konata turned around, so nobody could see her trademark smirk.
Konata explained, "Yesterday, Edmond told me how much he wanted one..."
Edmond shook his fist, "What have you been telling people?!"
End Story
The Kagami topic has now reached 201 posts! (Nov 5)