The Great TV Tropes Western

"Well, look on the bright side, stranger. There's nothing. And that means no bandits comin to get us."

Autumn enters, furious, with a hook covering her lost hand.

Gemme a mug o' the hardest thing ya got. Straight.

Risdio puts his hands up. Hard as it was to believe he was not looking for a fight.

"H-hey ma'am, I-I don't know what you want, but...w-we ain’t got no liquor!"

"Maybe you don't." The Madame flutters down to Autumn. "Why, hello, my fair lady? What are you in the mood for today?" She opens her coat to reveal multiple cure-all elixirs. "All of The Madame's Cure-Alls are made with 70% alcohol and 20% cocaine!"

I wasn't talkin' to yew. I was talkin' to the bartender!

The bartender hands her a glass of beer.

Eh, that'll do.

Edited by TheWhistleTropes on Oct 7th 2020 at 7:07:09 AM

"Bartender?" says Bluethorn. "But we're literally in the middle of nowhere."

"Yeah, ma'am, y-you may be a little...*gulp*...d-delusional..."

Don't call me delusional, punks.

"Well, I've got just the trick for being delusional!" The Madame pulls out a blue bottle and puts it in Autumn's hand. "Made with the finest desert flowers, and concentrated with pure Indian spirits!"

Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Oct 7th 2020 at 7:29:53 AM

"M-ma'am, I assure you...I-I ain't no punk..."

Autumn studies the drink the Madame gave her and tosses it to the ground.

"Now, look, you punk. You broke it, you pay for it." She holds her hand out. "I'll only say this once. Pay up. $5.

(Kenny just looks on at the current scene, a bit confused and unsure of what to do.)

Then, a young lass came into the scene. "Howdy."

hopefully it's free to join.. apologies if it's not

No, it's a whatever sorta thing.

Well, I don't think you'd wanna poison this fine fox here, wouldja? I'm just anotha amputee makin' her way out here!

A gasp comes from the monarch butterfly. "How dare you say I tried to poison you? You know, I offered you a deal. That lil bottle cures all sorts of delirums! Again: you broke it, you pay for it."

What sorta money do you think I got here?
Autumn slowly advances on the Madame and her gang.
Ya think I'm Midas?

She reaches into her holster.

Risdio stops his stuttering and awkwardness as he notices Autumn reach for her hostler. He flips his coat open and does the same.

"Hey now ma'am, you'd best not do that now..."

"Look, lady. I can't be going around giving my wares out for free. And you shoulda thought about that before you broke that bottle."

Noticing the woman reach for her holdster, she reaches into her wagon and grabs her shotgun.

"Yes, frankly ma'am, you're outgunned here, so you best be apologizin' to the Madame, here."

"What's going on here?"

"Well, it looks like we're in a bit of a kerfuffle with this here woman."

Guys guys! I—I was gettin' money!

She pulls out four gold coins.

What, ya think I could shoot ya?

The Madame puts her gun away. "Well, thank you." She takes the coins. "You know, there's a bunch of bandits running around these here parts. It's pretty dangerous to be wandering around alone in the middle of nowhere."

Risdio pauses, and sighs deeply while slowly moving his hand away from his holster. Just like that, his awkwardness returned.

"W-well, i-in all honesty, you uh...*gulp* looked like a bit of a...p-punk so umm..."