M.A.G.I.: Urban Fantasy - Office Adventures RP

Sorry if this post seems a little rushed.

The Basement

Gnoop was listening to the request for 'assistance' seriously for much of the genasi's speil, right up until she said 'pants' and giggled like a Catholic school girl at a porn shop. The troll gentle hit his head into a nearby wall for a moment, phone held to his chest to muffle the sounds of rock on rock until he felt ready to deal with the call. "Uh, h- hello Aaminah." He greeted her, clearly a little flustered by her sense of humour and wishing EK had gotten the phone instead. It wasn't that he didn't like Aaminah, it was just that her obsession with certain bodily functions and parts made was unhealthy at best and almost always uncomfortable for Gnupr. "I, well, I have to fix the basement door. Again. And then bring up the vending machine I fixed to the breakroom..." He started, scratching the back of his neck.

Gnoop paused for a moment and finally sighed in defeat, "EK and I can probbaly come up after?" He suggested.

Break Room Conversation

Mira's eyes focused on the person that had picked her up. "Dullahan. Fine. Aside from missing body." Thought for a moment, as she once again moved her body, and felt it once again bump into a wall. "Stuck in closet I think."

"Oh good. I was concerned it was a random decapitated head again. What tribe of Dullahan are you?"

Laithe carefully put Mira down on the couch upright, and asked Emilia if she would mind looking for the head's body. Kou seemed a bit uptight, and Laithe offered her her hand,

"Laithe. A selkie. Good morning."

Break Room - Emilia Shade

Seeing Kou's attempt at a smile put chills down Emilia's incorporeal spine. "O-Ooh, that's spooky. Please don't do that again; you might scare me into the afterdeath..."

Emilia floated the box of donuts over within reach of Miranda's head in case she wanted any, taking in Laithe's instructions to go search for the dullahan's body. "A closet...? Should I check... all of them...?" She frowned as she imagined how many closets there must've been in the entire office building, then remembered something in her worker's pamphlet.

"Oh right, the doors are magical..." Hovering over to the break room entrance, with a wave of her ghostly hand Emilia shut it with poltergeisty prowess. "Magic door, if you'd be so kind, could you lead to the closet where Miralalala's body is...? That'd be great."

She waited for a few moments, forgetting if there were supposed to be any shining lights or special sound effects for the magic to work. Then with another swoosh of the hand, Emilia opened the door.

"Lithe, huh...? That's a nice name... and very fitting..."

edited 17th Apr '16 11:15:01 PM by Starbound2

The Lobby

It was presumed that Josef left the headquarters for some reason. He left a note.

Greetings!

You might be interested in the reason for which I left the office, and I shall answer: personal things. I need to leave the city soon, as there are certain... things I need to complete, and I don't think I will ever meet you guys again. Goodbye. Hope you will be all well!

Yours Faithfully, Josef

Legal Department: Johnny

It's a forest. It never ends. Surrounded. Everywhere he looks, surrounded. Surrounded by paper. Even after all this time, he's only a fourth of the way done. Never ends and never ending. On and on forever.

Johnny finally snaps out of it. He looks around. He's not too sure how much time has past, but it felt like eternity. Never ends and never ending. AHEM! Anyway, Johnny decides that he's on a bit of a roll and continues, but then he realizes how much time he's wasted on paper. And then he gets worried. And then he forgets that he can't die of old age so he doesn't have to worry about wasted time. But he still ends up having an existential crisis anyway. All because of paper. Paper paper paper. So much PAPER! ONLY PAPER! PAPER FOREVER! AHHHH!!!!

But Johnny continues regardless.

Gnoll and Troll Hole

$ini$ter stepped back as EK came forward, watching her paw plunge into the fungus with no shortage of revulsion at the process. “Wow. Yeah. Just… shove your hand right in there.”

Despite being dangerously close to losing his appetite, he followed behind EK as she moved over to the fridge. Shaking his head at their patented laissez-faire “throw it wherever” storage philosophy, he ducked around her to open the fridge door proper. He spent a moment scanning over the assorted foodstuffs that a rock monster and a grease-loving hyena woman would stock up on for their personal enjoyment, and noped out faster than a slug in a salt mine.

The breakfast war seemed to have been lost. That is, until he turned around and came face-to-face with his old foe, propped up innocently in the corner: the break room vending machine—sitting pretty with a new frame of glass that reflected $ini$ter’s narrowed eyes and the hard-set suspicion dwelling within. $ini$ter walked over, glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was looking, and pressed his hands flush to the smooth surface of the new glass before leaning in so close that his cheek was practically touching the surface. “I hope we’ve learned our lesson," He whispered, hand sliding down to stroke the space just in front of a bag of Extra-Spicy Cheetos, "about what happens to thieves.” After waiting a moment for his message to sink in to the inanimate    dollar-stealer,    $ini$ter stepped back and pulled out his wallet.

While he undid the myriad clasps and locks around his wallet (that was topped off by an honest-to-god hidden key around his neck), he off-handedly directed his next comment at EK. “You have a phone, right?” He asked. “Can you give mine a call? I really need to get out of here, and this place is fuckin’ huge.” He said, carefully removing an exact amount of quarters.

Johnny would be interrupted from his paper fugue by the slightly-panting Gerald Doughtry. Standing in his doorway and catching his breath, he held up a finger to signal a brief time of respite.

Eventually, he got around to speaking. "Uh...Mornin'." He looked up at the black-eyed kid for a bit, collecting his thoughts and getting the strength to say them. "So, uhh, we've got a bit of a problem, in that the Kavinsky Report hasn't gotten on my desk yet. I'm not exactly your, uh, boss, but you've gotta work on, uhhhh, your end of it."

He walked over and pulled out a very hefty-lookin' folder from behind his back, and planted it squarely among the rest of the manyfold papers on his colleague's desk. "Well, I already swung by the copy room and, uhh, copied it. In triplicate. You're gonna have to fill out your half, the portion describing legal actions we may have to take against this guy. We don't let, uh, employees steal anything. Even, uhhhhh, coffee creamer."

He capped it off with a bit of an out-of-the-blue remark. "Nice, uh, tie."

Aaminah's Cubicle

The genasi grumbled incoherently for a bit when Gnoop mentioned that he needs to do a bit of work, pouting her lip and placing both of her elbows, among other bodyparts, on her table to show said displeasure, despite the fact that the old ass telephone does not even have a screen on it. She lighted up a bit when the troll do accept her offer of a conversation after all. Then after a bit of thinking, she light up as if someone poured gasoline all over her. She bounced up, along with other things, and suggested "Hey, let's kill two birds with one stone and let me help you out! We can talk and do the stuff at the same time. Besides, I'm worried that, by the time you'll be available, the boss will come up to me and hand me my assignment for the next several months. You down for that? Actually, wait, you know what? Lemme answer that for you. Yes, of course."

and with that being said, she puts the phone down and go on her merry way to the door but not before texting Azeria in Whatsapp, asking her what was the assignment again. Better to look like an idiot now than to wait till the end and get fucked.

Legal Department: Johnny, Gerald

Johnny snaps out of it for the time being. "Good morning, Gerald." He says, taking a break from the paperwork. However, he stopped being cheery (at least as cheery as his severe lack of emotions would allow) when he laid eyes on the very, very tall stack of papers supplied by Gerald on his already-flooded desk. "I..." He slowly takes off his sunglasses and puts them on his desk. Then, he stares at the papers for what feels like an eternity. "Alright..." He says, even more monotone than usual. He grabs his pen again and tries to write, but nothing appears.

Out of ink.

"God dammit." Johnny searches through his desk for another pen. "God dammit again." He turns to Gerald. "Do you have a spare pen?"

(Gave Saturn a PM about the door thing)

Break Room - Emilia Shade

As the break room door opened, a certain headless body stumbled out of the closet that was now there, passing right through Emilia's body. "Yayyy, ghost girl solves it again...~" She closed the door and opened it up again to lead back to the lobby. "Magic doors sure are convenient, huh...?"

She turned to her coworkers and gave them a playful bow.

Break room

Mirai eventualy works her way to the break room, but spends no time conversing at the moment. Instead she begins to search the room over high and low, seemingly searching for something.... Her fluffy tail acting like a twitchy periscope in the process.

"Where did I leave that battery"

"Yeah, uhh..."

He briefly reached for the fancy pen tucked inside his breast pocket, but he instead fished around inside of his pants for a writing implement. He eventually found one, a much simpler pen, and handed it over to him.

"I've, uhh, got my end already filled out. And filed. And signed in triplicate. I'd've gotten it to you quicker, but, uhh, it took a while to get this printed out. Hours. The copy machine in my office is from 1989."

"Thanks." Johnny grabs it, but doesn't start writing. "... Wait, this massive load of paper is because of coffee creamers?" He says, looking each sheet over carefully. "This seems like overdoing it to me. Can't we just tell them not to do it again? That just seems like a far better alternative that keeps my sanity from slipping any further."

The Basement

"Sure. Hold on." EK grunted to $$ as she crouched down in front of the door. Son of a bitch, the screws had been completely stripped from the tear. She'd have to take them out and replace them. With one hand EK pulled out her phone, an old Nokia you could stop a bullet with, and dialed $$ from her contacts. It was a modern phone in spite of its low-tech appearance, it was just made for the modern high-risk blue-collar environment. With Double I around, she could stand to have something that could take a bullet. She set the phone on the ground next to her and then pulled out the screwdriver. With her other hand, she pulled out a cluster of screws and held the eight that she needed for the job in her teeth. She then started undoing the screws one at a time, tail swishing idly.

edited 18th Apr '16 7:06:45 PM by Taco

Laithe clapped for Emilia, then gently guided the body to where she had placed Mira's head. She then waved to everyone, and headed to the Legal floor. She picked up some files from her desk and headed into Johnny's office. Gerald was in there. She briafly thought about leaving, but summoned her courage and approached the desk. Laying files down, she listed them off.

"Finnigan...Smith...Dean...Li...Kavinsky. Good Morning gentlemen."

"We did...at least 5 times. It turns out he's not only been stealing from the, uhh, breakroom..." He looked over his shoulder, and said in a much more toned down voice, "It turns out they've been doing literally nothing but ordering cases of creamer and stealing them using company dollars. We've, uh, I figure they've cost the company approximately $30,000 worth of damages so far. Not counting, uh, lost man hours. From him spending so much time ordering creamer."

"It turns out that hiring a creature which lives only to steal milk isn't the, uh, best idea." He raised his voice again to his usual half-mumble and looked over his shoulder again. "I really doubt it matters much, considering it's probably going to be reported on sooner than later...uhh, try to keep the gossip on it to a minimum." He straightened his usual puke green tie, and said, "If there's anything journalists love, it's a lame story like this for, uh, a slow news day."

Another worker came into the office, or more accurately walked in the middle of his statement and he didn't even notice, and delivered another payload of files to Johnny, no doubt increasing his pain much further. "Hello, Miss, uh, Dhuibh." The 'uhh' wasn't one of remembering, considering he remembers the names of the people who refill the Coke machines downstairs, Gerald seemed to have some kind of ridiculous need to insert that phrase into the middle of any sentence. He even got the archaic pronunciation of her name down pat. "Well, uh, you're cleared to hear all of that as well, so don't worry about breaking, uhh, confidentiality."

edited 18th Apr '16 3:31:36 PM by wikkit

The Basement

Gnoop could practically hear Aaminah pout on the other end of the line, her little tantrums being one of the few things that could almost make the excitable genasi silent for so long. That being said, she was still grumbling something unintelligible giving the troll a chance to look over his shoulder and see $ini$ter threatening to assault the vending machine again. He cast the money obsessed dragon a warning look and hoped he wouldn't have to replace the glass once more. Why Sini still insisted on even using the thing was beyond him since such human devices were designed to swallow as much money as possible.

Suddenly Aaminah was speaking again, not listening to his feeble protests, "B-But the door is still..." The genasi had already hung up with the promise meeting them at the 'Gnoll and Troll Hole' as EK dubbed their private break-room, "Broken..." Gnupr sighed and replaced the phone in its holder, "Aaminah is coming to... help us fix the door." He announced to EK and $ini$ter, stomping down the tunnels to find EK having retrieved the screwdriver and her tool belt. Gnoop smiled and shrugged before taking the screwdriver EK wasn't currently using and returning to the main door. The troll carefully and skillfully placed the door back in its frame and began fixing the hinges.

"Well, that's pretty stupid. But I've heard stupider." Then he noticed Laithe enter the room. "Morning, Laithe. How are yo-" He was interrupted with even more paper. More paper. Always with the paper.

Johnny sighs loudly and slowly puts his head on his desk.

"If I ever see Kavinsky myself," He says, head still on the table, "I am going to gut him like a fish."

edited 18th Apr '16 4:11:41 PM by gregnes2000

Gnoll and Troll Hole

“Thanks,” $ini$ter said in EK’s direction, even as he responded to Gnoop’s glare with a thrust-forward, arms spread "what do you want from me" shrug/chin thrust. “Aaminah.” He pondered aloud as he turned back to the machine, slipping in the quarters in sequence as he put a face to the name. “She’s, the, the genie, the—” At that moment, his ringtone burst into being from somewhere around the coffee table, the chorus from Gangnam Style proudly shouting “Heeeeeeeeey, sexy lady!”. $ini$ter simply cocked his head toward the sound in affirmation. “Yeah, that.”

$ini$ter popped in the combination for the cheesy treat and stepped back to cross his arms, the deep-set scowl on his face and the upward twitch of his brow daring the machine to make his day. But either the machine had learned its lesson, or it was simply a soulless vending machine, because the bag came down without a hitch. With a satisfied nod, the humanoid dragon crouched down to fish out the snack. “In any case, I can’t really stay and chat.” He said, coming back to standing while facing the troll. “I’m like, ten minutes late, and IA’s already on my ass about some dickbasket who stole $30,000 worth of coffee creamer.” He cracked open the bag and inhaled a handful of the spicy snack, chewing rapidly before pointing forcefully forward to emphasize his words. “Let me run that by you again,” He said through a fiery mouthful that was only half as intense as his ire. “Thirty. Thousand. Dollars. Swear to god, if I ever meet this fucker in the hallway? I’m throwing him out a window.”

$ini$ter finished the bag in record speed, chucked it toward the trashcan, missed, threw it in manually, then went and retrieved his phone. While busily checking his messages, he waved a hand in the pair’s direction. “Oh, and, you know, don’t tell anyone. It’ll be in a memo, or something. Hopefully an obituary.”

Maintenance Access

All EK had to say in response to $$ was "Damn. Sucks. Looking forward to it." She spat out a couple of screws into her hand and tossed them to Gnoop. "Do the upper ones. Easier that way." She said. "On your back."

EK spun in some more screws. She really didn't want to think about what the building's portal network meant if they could just physically fix a door and get it working.

"Aaminah was on the line?" She asked. "She need us, or was she uh..." EK struggled with the words she could actually do for a second. "Harrah—harhah... fuckit, jokes? Was she pulling jokes?"

Maintenance Access

Gnoop skillfully caught the (now slightly moist) screws and did as EK suggested, starting with the upper part of the doorway. It didn't take long to finish his end of the work as, fortunately, the door frame itself wasn't terribly damaged - the person would designed this building obviously knew the kinds of creatures that would be using it. EK inquired about Aaminah's reasons for dropping in, making frown a little. He felt uncomfortable already just thinking about their.. interactions, but running off and leaving Erin alone with them would be rude. "Uh, yes. Jokes - something about pants and plugging leaks..." Gnupr explained with a shrug and looked over his shoulder to check Sini hadn't assaulted the vending machine again.

Luckily they hadn't, though the stolen creamer was disconcerting for a number of reasons, "Why would anyone need that much coffee creamer?" He wondered aloud, "Don't hurt him, Sini - maybe he has a good reason." Gnupr reasoned, not one for violence against creatures living or dead, "And fixing the windows is... dangerous."

Gnoll and Troll Hole: Coffee Dreamer

$ini$ter screwed up his face in incredulity as he looked up from his phone towards the blue-collar duo. “What, like his mom’s on a coffee creamer IV drip? What the hell kind of reason could there be?” $ini$ter spent a power-tool-racket-filled minute casting his eyes toward the ceiling, running the increasingly absurd mental gamut of possible coffee-creamer related lifesaving scenarios through his cranium. After a moment, he scoffed with reluctance and threw up his hands in defeat. “Fine, I won’t smack him around with a stapler. But nobody but nobody gets away with snatching swag on my watch.”

As if the threat of violence jogged a memory, $ini$ter frowned and patted his back pocket. “Look, I’m outta time, but if you find my pocket knife lying around, put it somewhere nothing can grow on it. You know the one, gold hilt, one of those Chinese dragons wrapped around the hilt.” He stopped in front of the door, crossing his arms as he waited for them to finish fixing it and reboot the portal system. "I hear when those bastards cry, pearls come out. Talk about instant goddamn gratification." He said, not without a hint of envy.

Maintenance Access

At Gnoop's explanation of Aaminah's call, EK grinned, gave the thumbs up, and growled out "Hot."

At $$'s comment about Chinese dragons crying pearls, she also grinned, gave the thumbs up, and growled out "Hot," then laughed. An actual Gnoll's laugh, which was a throaty, coughing "Harh harh," not the hooting giggles of stress. With that she finished the final screw and shut the door, letting the portal system reconnect. "How the fuck's it work...?" She said to herself, then opened the door straight to the main floor of Dragon's Hoard. "Your stop, right?"

Ellie didn't go to her boss ASAP. She had to give the final check and delivery to a bunch of reports, plus stay on line to coordinate an important meeting with their Japanese partners on an entirely different timezone.

However, once all of that was done she certainly felt the tug of her leash as her cellphone rung with the distinctive tone awarded to her boss. Taking a little breath and fixing a lock of her dark hair behind her ear, pushing her glasses in order she turns her artifact, Shifting Heart, from a pen back into a small tablet to carry in her hands as she marched prim and proper towards her boss' office... knocking gently before she steps inside and onto the deck where she would find Azeria sunbathing "Did you need me, milady?"