Sociopaths as Family

So in one of my stories the main protagonist has a mother who's a sociopath (as in clinically a sociopath), and I wanted to know a bit better what sort of effect on his mentality it would have on him growing up, as well as on his father/her husband.

More stuff on the family in general:

• The main character is eight at the time and has few friends
• His father is an alcoholic, and his wife's mental and emotional abuse towards him definitely contributes towards that. In spite of the alcoholism, however, he definitely loves his son and wants what's best for him, but feels trapped in a horrible marriage with the boy's mother.
• Their economic status is very poor, and they live just above poverty.
• No outside relatives exist; both sides of grandparents are dead and neither parents have siblings (the father had an older brother, the responsible sibling to the father's foolish sibling, but he died before the main character was born).
• Both parents were very young when the main character was born, with the father being 19 and the mother being 21.

If any more information is needed, I'll provide as best as I can.

If the family is poor and the mother is a sociopath, why does she let her son live? He's probably an economic drain.

Manipulation. He's an excellent tool for getting what she wants out of her husband, such as through the threat of taking away their son and lying to authorities that he was being abusive towards them, among other things. Not to mention she would be able to make herself look sympathetic towards outsiders if she feigned being "supermom" while outside the house, and thus other people would be easier to manipulate also.

Her son is a tool to her. One that she knows how to wield well and for her own benefit. To quote an article I found while doing research:

"Far from being a nurturing, loving attachment figure, the sociopath mother is a cold, abusive, frightening figure representing chaos and emotional distance. She ignores and she neglects. She controls and manipulates; to the sociopathic mother, her child isn't a person in his own right but a possession that exists to serve her. She uses insincere, shallow affection to manipulate. She hardly praises or encourages, but she lavishes the child with verbal abuse and punishment."

edited 15th Nov '15 9:05:55 AM by randomdude4

OK. So if she's so focused on manipulating others and looking good, she's presumably more concerned with her social status than her economic status.

Because of the situation you describe, maybe the son is socially maladjusted/incompetent and lacks self confidence. If the mother has succeeded in making herself look sympathetic, presumably this is at the expense of her 'troublesome' son. His fearful behaviour and inability to read social cues when with his mother (who is too erratic for him to learn any from her) might make it seem like the mother has a lot on her plate to outside observers. Because of this, he may feel he can only embrace his role as a troublemaker. This only helps his mother play the victim, who blames the terrible example of an alcoholic father.

I'm basically just thinking aloud here, hopefully this is helpful. Is this the kind of thing you were considering?

edited 15th Nov '15 5:43:44 PM by editerguy

Uhhhh. ok. So, "Sociopaths" don't really have empathy, but that doesn't mean they can't care about people. They aren't some sort of emotionless machine evil person.

Like I have friends who have been diagnosed with such things, and what you're describing might be true occasionally, but not remotely true the majority of the time.

So you might want to consider a different word, because "sociopath" does not accurately describe what you're looking for. At least not without modifiers/more adjectives/better description.

So by "sociopath" do you mean "a woman who is diagnosed, and thus comes with all the nuances and issues an individual might have" or do you mean "a terrible person who also is diagnosed with this"?

I mainly ask because depending on the person, it could range wildly. For example she could care deeply about her son, want the best for him, etc, and still see him as a useful tool. These are not contradicting thoughts.

edited 16th Nov '15 2:51:10 PM by MrAHR

Oh I understand that, most definitely. Let me be perfectly clear in saying that I have no intention of stating either explicitly or implicitly that I think sociopaths are bad people. Here, however, his mother is a bad person, and she still would be even without the condition. That being said, I think the way I used it is still appropriate considering that I want to explore the effects of her sociopathy on the family (notably the main character), which is a far different set of circumstances than if she were a bad person without sociopathy.

I think what you said was helpful, thanks. A great deal of the plot later on is that he spends years involved in crime, so embracing the role of troublemaker would be fitting. He also does blame himself for a lot of things that aren't really his fault as he grows, which could very well be a result of being blamed for everything by his mother and her manipulation growing up.