Asexuals and Aromantics Unite!

Congratulations!

sooo...apparently theres an aro spectrum. i'm not sure where i'd fit on the spectrum yet, but i'm checking that out right now. same with the ace spectrum (which i imagine also exists)

Yes, both aromanticism and asexuality are spectrums. It is possible to be on both, and to be at different places on each, that is the beauty of the split attraction model, romantic and sexual attraction are not the same thing. Personally I am a biromantic/polyromantic proculsexual (only sexually attracted to those that I cannot ever engage in sex with, for example celebrities, fictional characters, etc.) and I am also bisexual/polysexual. There are a lot of micro-labels on each spectrum, and they are definitely worth looking into if you are questioning. My advice is to spend time looking at the different micro-labels, and talking to other acespecs/arospecs about their experiences. For me, the label asexual resonated with me because I didn't feel a lot of sexual attraction and had little to no desire for sex. But I still felt some sexual attraction. Then I heard the term proculsexual and I realized that it was me.

Today I saw somebody say that nobody wants to date somebody who claims to be AroAce and, like, I wish they were right.

[[Trigger warning: Arophobia and heterosexism]]

It's probably been years, but I'm still hurt over what a feminist said to an aro man in a blog when he claimed to be aro. "No, you're not aromantic, you're just treating women as being only good for sex like all men are taught to do". Specially cause he never said he was a heterosexual aro.🤨

I'm aromantic and probably bi?

I wish people wouldn't forget about alloaros so often.

I'm flexing between being Demisexual/Pansexual and Panromantic/Demiromantic. I don't know if I'm one, the other or a third option.

Edited by Wheatleyfangirl on Jul 3rd 2023 at 4:02:09 AM

i might be asexual idk

Saw somethibg the other day that I have no idea how to feel about.

I'm aro/ace, I don't date, I don't have sex, nothin'.

I found a book at the library about Aces. I've never came across a book about aces before. Neat!

But the chapters were about: Being Queer (which I don't personally call myself), Coming Out (which I never had to do), Dating (Which I don't do), Microlabels (Which I don't use for myself), and Sex (Which I don't have).

So it was just..."Ah. I'm not in this book. A lot of people are, but I'm not one of them."

And I have no idea how I feel about that.

Edited by Murataku on Aug 1st 2023 at 11:09:11 PM

I think I'm asexual since I've never experienced any lust. I've experienced romantic feelings, but I've never been turned on.

Well, phew, I think that the theme is one that would give a lot of different comments when the world watches the lack of relationships in you.

I mean, I passed for that period, and that while I lost both adjectives in my late 30s (for any reason, at some point in my middle 30s, I decided to get me a car and a house to live happily to be close to my parents - but not so close -, and suddenly I fell in love and got married and lost my asexual and aromantic adjectives... probably for good... ).

The questions normally rouse in the air, the family meetings with the older brother, sister or aunt asking you the question "When you get married?", but I think the worst comes from the Internet...

Probably now is worse, happily in my aromantic period there was only forums like these where I suffered a lot of bullying because of my thoughts, is like these bullies saying "How this guy that is telling us that he is successful in some areas is a complete idiot in terms of love and relationships?" (No offense guys, this really happened to me and I was very Cancelled for that..., my blog lost readers and I lost a moderator position in a web site for the simple fact that I prefer to stay single...).

But, despite my incompetence in terms of love, I got friends that supported my decision, and they began to talk with me regarding why I did not wanted to pursue a relationship.

Even I got anxiety issues due to the pressure society puts me on this situation and being expelled of the web site was, in reality, a good oportunity to have time for me and reflect about what happened.

Probably I decided to purse the aromantic life because I expected to much over sex and love at that time (at some point, I was just sitting and gaining weight expecting for a waifu to appear and pull me out of my place..., getting an hernia in the process XD) and because of my love of work and videogames (while the videogames are not guilty, my guilt is over the time i actually spent on them).

When finally I decided to purse my feelings for my girlfriend, now wife, someone told me the harsh reality "Getting in a relationship means to renounce to some stuff you really love to make happy the other person". At first it was hard to understand, but, yes, it mean a complete makeover in my lifestyle. Probably my arromantic past self will scream a big no, and why not?

Ten years before I did not really expect to pursue a relationship, but I began to take conscience that I don´t want to be alone at the end of my days. Probably that´s the reason I decided to part ways with my arromantic self.

And still I read this group that happily writes about it and still asking myself.. why? (and in the very good way)